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the cosmic cr*pshoot...

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Rhapsody

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Sep 23, 2005
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391
Life always finds a way to balance things out... but I have had enough of taking the bad with the good.

My boyfriend wakes up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. When he comes back I could tell he wasnt going back to sleep so I rolled over to ask him whats wrong. We woke up a few weeks ago to a wet spot on the bed, I just assumed the cat had peed. Well, woke up with a wet spot again but the cat had been shut out of the room all night. Apparently bladder control issues are one of the first signs of MS. His father has MS and we always knew it was a possibility he could have it too, but of course we hoped... He said he''s been having weakness and vision issues also over the last 6 weeks. I am just devastated for him and dont know what he needs from me now. It amazing that I can know someone for 8 years and still not know how best to comfort him. He going to try and find a neurologist to go get the tests done so we dont know anything for sure yet but it''s just so scary.

And like most people facing debilitating lifetime illnesses he decides that he''s tired of waiting and planning and not living and thinks we should get married in January. From the boy who was happy to put it off till spring 07 or later. Its sad that we cnt focus on whats really important to us in our everyday lives the way we do when these horrible things happen.

So everyone go home and tell your boyfriends/fiances/husbands how much you love them, be glad for your health and never let planning get in the way of living.
 

Erin

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 24, 2004
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2,783
I hope for both of your sakes there is another explanation for this. But you are right - live for today. Earlier this fall we lost our friend to a car accident merely hours before his wedding. It really shook us all. From that point I have really tried changing my priorities and I make more sacrafices in order to do what''s REALLY important. If I were you I would get married soon. It would solidify the idea that we are in this together and there''s no turning back now. I''m not leaving. In the face of adversity, your relationship would be a pillar for all other things to lean upon. I wish you the best - you are in my thoughts.
 

Kit

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 7, 2005
Messages
501
Oh my goodness, I am so sorry to hear of this. I sincerely hope the test show all is well--it is good that you two are taking a positive step forward in solidarity. Your love and togetherness will buoy you through the tough times, this (potential) one and others in life as well...you are in my thoughts.
 

AmberWaves

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 19, 2005
Messages
3,672
Oh my gosh, Rhapsody, my thoughts, as well, are with you. I''m so sorry for your troubles, and I hope you find out some good news soon. I also wanted to thank you for reminding me that we should live every day to it''s fullest. I only wish you didn''t have to remember that in this way. I''m thinking of you..
 

MissAva

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 6, 2005
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8,230
Oh Rhapsody! Bless your heart, I will be praying for you and your boyfriend. I hope that the news from the Doctors is good.
 

curlygirl

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 9, 2005
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2,637
Oh, Rhapsody, my heart goes out to you as I sit here in tears after reading your post. It is sad that it takes moments like these for us to open our eyes to how lucky we are and how much we take for granted and how we obsess over the littlest things. I do hope your boyfriend sees a top doctor and pray that the diagnosis is not as bad as what you are expecting. And yes, forget about all the planning and BS that goes with all this wedding stuff and just do it. Live your lives as fully as you possibly can. Your love for each other will get you through all of life''s hardships. Try to stay strong and know that you can always come here to vent. I will keep you both in my thoughts.
 

larussel03

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Oct 22, 2005
Messages
1,747
I''m so sorry that you and your bf have to go through this. Good luck, and if you ever need support, you know where to come!
 

SoonIHope

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 11, 2005
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2,152
Rhapsody, I am so sorry to hear this! I wish you both the best, and hope that he will turn out to be okay!! And don''t feel bad about not knowing how to comfort him...I''m sure your presence and love are a huge comfort to him and he is thinking how grateful he is to have you in his life, even if you don''t realize it yourself. It''s so wonderful that you can be there for him, and I''m sure you''ll be able to have an amazing life together!
 

caligal

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jun 16, 2005
Messages
470
Rhapsody- HUGS! I''m so sorry you and your boyfriend have to go through this- I know all too well about MS as my Uncle suffered with it. Let''s hope for the best- and I''ll be thinking of you both.
 

jenwill

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 7, 2004
Messages
735
Rhapsody-

My thoughts are with you both, and I hope that the doctors can give you some good news.

Jen
 

anchor31

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 18, 2005
Messages
7,074
Like everyone, I want to offer you tons of hugs and comfort. I''m sorry to hear you''re going through this. My thoughts are with you both.
 

FireGoddess

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 25, 2005
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12,145
I hope the news is better than you fear, but know that you both will overcome the obstacles put before you. **hugs** Thank you for reminding us to treasure what we have...because life is short.
 

Rhapsody

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Sep 23, 2005
Messages
391
Thank you everyone for your support. I called a friend of mine to talk to her before I posted and her response was; that''s too bad, at least he wont die soon. Well. Ok. Lacking in the socials skills a bit there. Its nice to know that there are people in the world who still have the capacity to care for others.

Starset Princess: I''m sorry for the loss of your friend. I hope his family has found some peace. The last few years have been so full of tragedy, you''d think we would all be repriotitizing but it seems to be hard to hold onto that feeling of... urgency and fragility of life.

Curlygirl: You are so right about the little things getting in the way. I''m feeling guilty now because I got in a fight with my boyfriend last night because his ex-girlfriend wants him to build him a website to showcase naked pictures of herself which I found to be a bit inappropriate. He''s been noticing symptoms of MS for a while and didnt mention it to me, so I feel like a jerk complaining about something relatively petty while he''s had this on his mind.

Albicocca: Thank you for your reassurance. Its so hard to read men and tell what they''re needing when things are wrong. All I can do is just be there I guess.

Caligal: I''m sorry about your uncle, I hope he was able to maintain a positive outlook on life (something my boyfriends father has issues with) and live well dispite the illness.


The timing of this is just so awful. I''m taking the biology GRE in a week which I stupidly put off until a year and a half after my last bio class so I''ve been stressed out about that which I cant even think about now. Its a test. I can retake it I suppose. My ring will be ready in a few weeks and this was supposed to be such a happy time in my life and instead the world takes a big s**t on us. Ah well. Gotta keep getting on. I need to keep remindig myself of all the things to be happy and grateful for.

Again, thank you for your thoughts and prayers.
 

icekid

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 17, 2004
Messages
7,475
Rhapsody- I''m so sorry to hear! It must have been really stressful for your bf to have these things happening and not tell anyone. poor guy!

Sometimes it''s tough to know what to say, but I''m sure just knowing that you''re there is really comforting to your bf!

But I''ll still be hoping that there is some other fixable explanation. My thoughts go out to you and your bf!
 

IrishEyes

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jan 4, 2005
Messages
1,246
Oh gosh
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I''m so, so sorry for you! I REALLY hope there is another explanation for it all, but even if it''s true - we are all here for you! You are right to say that you shouldn''t take people for granted and cherish everyday with them. Keep us updated on everything and know that our thoughts are with you.
 

crafftygrrl

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Feb 14, 2005
Messages
463
My prayers are with you too.

Hopefully this is not what you think... But you need to check this out with a doctor.
My Mom died from complications to Alzheimers. Whenever I forget something, I get terrified.
 

picky

Rough_Rock
Joined
Nov 24, 2005
Messages
74
So now that he''s found out he has a debilitating illness, he suddenly wants to get married so someone can take of him. NICE.

Wonder if he''s still going to set up that website for the naked pics of his ex girlfriend....
 

widget

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 12, 2004
Messages
4,255
Oh, Rhapsody...I''m so sorry!

I hope you and your boyfriend find a doctor AS SOON AS POSSIBLE to find out what is going on. Not knowing and imagining the worst is so crazy-making!

Many years ago I had what I thought were "MS symptoms"...(my dad had MS, too) and I drove myself into a frenzy over it. It turned out I was fine...I really think my worry almost caused what I had thought were ''symptoms''.

I hope so much that something similar is going on with your BF, or that if something is wrong, it''s easily fixable. Keep the faith!

My thoughts are with you..
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jenwill

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 7, 2004
Messages
735
Not very nice Prisms.

I would like to think that this could be a supportive thread, and any snarky comments could be held in check.

This is a place for mature adults to express themselves, if grade-school sarcasm is the best someone can do perhaps they should stay away.
 

bookworm21

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 17, 2005
Messages
1,007
Oh Rhapsody, my sympathies. I''m so sorry to hear about this, and I hope that all turns out well for you. Good luck.
 

princessv

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Oct 6, 2005
Messages
1,232
Oh Rhapsody *big hugs to you* I''ll be praying for you and your BF please let us know how things work out!
 

Blue824

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Dec 15, 2004
Messages
1,614
Rhapsody - I''m sorry to hear about your bf and everything the two of you are going though. I hope that the doctors appointment goes well, and I wish you two the best.
 

HOUMedGal

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jan 13, 2005
Messages
1,832
Prisms, that was inappropriate and terribly insensitive. That''s just not how we do things around here.
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Rhapsody, I''m so sorry to hear about your difficult times. I sincerely hope that whatever happens, you and your boyfriend are able to work through it and get on with your life together. And of course, anytime you need to vent, we''ve all got open ears here!
 

Rhapsody

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Sep 23, 2005
Messages
391
Sorry I''ve been MIA but the last few weeks have been crazy. We''re having a hard time with insurance issues because his company was recently aquired and they changed insurance providers and we cant seem to figure out the hoops they want us to go through before we''re allowed to go to a specialist. Bah. We''re having a hard time finding a neurologist in the first place. He really doesnt want to ask his father because he doesnt want to make him worry or feel bad until we know for sure.

I took the biology gre on saturday which i think could have gone a whole lot better and was pretty bummed out so my boyfriend took me out for cheesecake. While we''re eatting we get a call from the jeweler saying my ring had come in. And I think our luck might be turning around. We go out there to check it out, he wants me to make sure it''s fine since we had changed the head on the setting (a tacori) and of course, the whole bloody thing is jacked up. And the lady we were talking to at first tried to convince us that the ring was just what we ordered, when we didnt buy that she tried to tell us it was better as it was made and when we still wanted it re-ordered tried to tell me what i wanted wasnt possible (double prongs on a princess cut). Not once did they even apologize for ordering the ring wrong. We were furious and almost cancelled the order right then. We left before I said something really bad and when we came back the next day with a photoshopped version of what I wanted the manager was very nice and made me feel better about giving them a second try. I''m still so disappointed and my boyfriend is just bending over backwards trying to make me feel better since he had promised it would be done by the end of the year and now from no fault of our own it wont be.

And although I''m sure no one cares for an explaination I think i dumped a "too much information" bit about his ex, and as far as his ex goes her best friend died in a car accident a year ago and she went way over the edge and decided that she was going to try every experience under the sun. One of those was trying to join a website of punk chicks posing naked and it became an obsession for her. Shes on another coast so I dont worry about it too much. Her life is her own, who am I to judge.


Since prisms is gone (thank GOD) we can pretend she never existed. Thank you everyone for your thoughts and support. You are all life-savers because most of my friends are good friends with the boyfriend too and I''m not sure he wants people to know. He doesnt want people to worry about him so I''m not sure he''d want me talking to our friends about it, but if I dont talk at all I''ll explode. Thank you all for listening and offering what you can. I really appreciate it.

Widget, I know what you mean about worrying without confirmation. I am the worst at that, when theres a possiblity that something is wrong I just jump right into worry mode. I''m trying not to, because it doesnt help anything and like you said it just makes you crazy. I hope we have some answers soon. Stupid insurace.

I''ll let everyone know what happens when we finally can get to a doctor. Thanks again.
 

BrownEyes

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Dec 4, 2005
Messages
294
Rhapsody:

I''m in tears as I read this thread - I feel so much for you and your BF ... he must be so scared, and you must be scared and lonely too, since you can''t really share your feelings locally. Glad you found this board which seems to be a wonderful resource for friendship and support ...

It infuriates me that insurance companies dely or deny coverage on technical issues. With MS - - and many other debilitating illnesses - - there are good drugs out there that can control or suppress symptoms and definitely delay the progress of the disease. I''m not a physician or medical professional but in my profession I deal with a lot of people who face debilitating illnesses, and I believe there''s a lot of promise in drug treatment therapy for MS. But the key is an early diagnosis so keep trying to find a top-notch neurologist, and worry about the insurance later. In fact, I good neurologist might be able to provide some helpful tips for conquering the insurance issue, which they probably have to deal with on an regular basis.

My thoughts and prayers are with you . I hope you will continue to post re: your BF''s progress. Good luck with your e-ring, too. Focus on what''s important and stay strong for each other.
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bookworm21

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 17, 2005
Messages
1,007
Rhapsody, I''m glad you dropped by to give us an update, and I''m sorry to hear about the crap that the insurance companies are putting you guys through. They''re a major pain in the a**, as most people know, but I hope everything turns out well.

I''m sorry to hear about the ring, but I''m glad that the manager was trying to make up for their mistake, which is as it should be. Perhaps you can negotiate a better price if you''re also purchasing wedding rings from them as a way for them to atone for their mistake and their attempt to deny it.

Definitely keep us posted, we''re here to listen and to offer what support we can.
 

blodthecat

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Oct 17, 2005
Messages
805
Hi Rhapsody,

Take a deep breath, and just deal with one day at a time. There''s no point in worrying about the future, because none of us know what the future is yet?

Even if your partner does have MS, it certainly isn''t the end of the world. There are different forms of MS, so don''t hit the panic button just yet.

I think the best thing you can do for your partner is to be POSITIVE.

I was ill last year, but my husband gave me no sympathy at all. He said, "Darling i can sit and cry with you, but it ain''t going to get us any where! Alternatively, we can accept what has happened and move on with our lives the best we can"

It was good advice, and these days i try to be more of a positive person because life can be very challenging, as we all know.

All my love and best wishes to both of you....Dyanne (england,uk)
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anchor31

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 18, 2005
Messages
7,074
I hope thinks better for the both of you, Rhapsody... My thoughts are with you and your boyfriend.
 
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