princesss
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2007
- Messages
- 8,035
(To the tune of "Human Again" from the extended version of Beauty and the Beast - found here)
Ah, Single again.
Single again.
Yes...Think what that means...
I'll be looking again
For some good looking men
Possibly even an old Russian czar
Now I'm single again
I am single again
In my little black dress in the bar
I am single again
Yes, I'm single again
With no man to help open this jar
I'll be dating again
I'll be waiting for men
To come pick me up in their nice car
...
For you see, I am single agaaaaaain!
Soooo C and I broke up about a week before Christmas. The Christmas where I was supposed to go meet his family. The trip he'd already booked tickets for (oops).
It turns out that when I'm in a long distance relationship, I have a tendency to Gatsby whoever I'm with. I spend so long away from them that I basically make up a personality for them and who I think they'll be and I fall in love with *that*. Coming over to the UK, I knew we had issues we needed to resolve, but if I'd been paying attention I would have realized they were just deep incompatibilities and always had been. So it sucks and I feel horrible for hurting him, but honestly...I'm surprisingly okay with it. Once I realized what was going on and that I wasn't crazy and these things hadn't just popped up out of nowhere, it was a pretty simple decision. Sad, but simple.
I also have been thinking a lot lately. C helped me get on track - back to what I truly want to do, back to the things that make me happy. And I realized that while I'm not doing those things, I'm not a good person to pick out a boyfriend for myself. When my life is focused on the wrong things, I look for things in a guy that seem right but don't actually connect to the life I want to lead. So now that I'm on the right path, I'm getting things figured out and realizing what's really important to me and what I actually, truly need in a relationship. And I feel like when I match up with somebody on those things, it'll be great. I can compromise on a lot, but not on things like needing a person that values time with loved ones over money, or creativity, or who reads and whose passion I can understand. I need to feel like my person actually wants to be with me, actually enjoys being around me, and doesn't have to be convinced that cuddling isn't a horrible torture devised solely to terrify and weaken them (I exaggerate...slightly). The rest? The stuff I was focusing on before? Money, looks, career ambition? Well, those things are nice. And I want somebody who cares enough about what they do to want to be good at it. But all of that stuff can change. Shared core values and the passion to create? Less likely to change, and probably a more solid foundation for me to build a relationship on.
So, yeah. That's life. Now I need to get back to writing this short story I need to submit for tomorrow.
Ah, Single again.
Single again.
Yes...Think what that means...
I'll be looking again
For some good looking men
Possibly even an old Russian czar
Now I'm single again
I am single again
In my little black dress in the bar
I am single again
Yes, I'm single again
With no man to help open this jar
I'll be dating again
I'll be waiting for men
To come pick me up in their nice car
...
For you see, I am single agaaaaaain!
Soooo C and I broke up about a week before Christmas. The Christmas where I was supposed to go meet his family. The trip he'd already booked tickets for (oops).
It turns out that when I'm in a long distance relationship, I have a tendency to Gatsby whoever I'm with. I spend so long away from them that I basically make up a personality for them and who I think they'll be and I fall in love with *that*. Coming over to the UK, I knew we had issues we needed to resolve, but if I'd been paying attention I would have realized they were just deep incompatibilities and always had been. So it sucks and I feel horrible for hurting him, but honestly...I'm surprisingly okay with it. Once I realized what was going on and that I wasn't crazy and these things hadn't just popped up out of nowhere, it was a pretty simple decision. Sad, but simple.
I also have been thinking a lot lately. C helped me get on track - back to what I truly want to do, back to the things that make me happy. And I realized that while I'm not doing those things, I'm not a good person to pick out a boyfriend for myself. When my life is focused on the wrong things, I look for things in a guy that seem right but don't actually connect to the life I want to lead. So now that I'm on the right path, I'm getting things figured out and realizing what's really important to me and what I actually, truly need in a relationship. And I feel like when I match up with somebody on those things, it'll be great. I can compromise on a lot, but not on things like needing a person that values time with loved ones over money, or creativity, or who reads and whose passion I can understand. I need to feel like my person actually wants to be with me, actually enjoys being around me, and doesn't have to be convinced that cuddling isn't a horrible torture devised solely to terrify and weaken them (I exaggerate...slightly). The rest? The stuff I was focusing on before? Money, looks, career ambition? Well, those things are nice. And I want somebody who cares enough about what they do to want to be good at it. But all of that stuff can change. Shared core values and the passion to create? Less likely to change, and probably a more solid foundation for me to build a relationship on.
So, yeah. That's life. Now I need to get back to writing this short story I need to submit for tomorrow.
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