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My FI''s Engagement Band is Here!!!!

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LitigatorChick

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As I posted previously, we ordered a band for my FI to make us feel married - it now looks like it may be a looooong time before I get a divorce from my ex. My FI says we are going to be "organically married" - our marriage hasn''t been "processed" yet through the legal means. :)

Anyway, the band arrived TODAY!!! I am soooo nervous. We are going to exchange our vows this weekend together. I''m so nervous, excited, eeekkkk!!!
 

TooPatient

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Date: 9/22/2009 1:47:52 PM
Author:LitigatorChick
As I posted previously, we ordered a band for my FI to make us feel married - it now looks like it may be a looooong time before I get a divorce from my ex. My FI says we are going to be ''organically married'' - our marriage hasn''t been ''processed'' yet through the legal means. :)

Anyway, the band arrived TODAY!!! I am soooo nervous. We are going to exchange our vows this weekend together. I''m so nervous, excited, eeekkkk!!!
First off -- Congratulations!!! Send pictures.


LitigatorChick are you an attorney?

If so, you probably already know this stuff so just ignore.

As someone who has lived with FF for 4 years now, I have to let you know that just because the two of you are living like you are married and see yourselves as married there are other people out there who won''t. (as I was reminded last night)

Be sure to get stuff for your files just in case you need it. You should have at least a medical power of attorney and a will. Where I live, the will has to be worded just so or the ex-spouse or children can contest it and cause massive problems for the survivor. We had our attorney do a general power of attorney, medical power of attorney, and wills for each of us. (cost about $100 for everything)
 

LitigatorChick

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Hi TooPatient! I love the word "attorney" - so cool. We don't use it in Canada - in the commonwealth, I would be a barrister :)

I am aware of this, but good info. I have a good friend who did my wills/power of attorney/ etc. with my ex, and she is doing our stuff currently!!!
 

TooPatient

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Date: 9/22/2009 2:08:30 PM
Author: LitigatorChick
Hi TooPatient! I love the word ''attorney'' - so cool. We don''t use it in Canada - in the commonwealth, I would be a barrister :)

I am aware of this, but good info. I have a good friend who did my wills/power of attorney/ etc. with my ex, and she is doing our stuff currently!!!
Canada is great. I''ve never been (shocking since I have never lived more than a 4 or 5 hour drive away from the border) but know some people there.

Glad you have a friend who is able to get all of your stuff taken care of.

Congratulations again. Post pictures (if you are comfortable) of your vows and rings. I''d love to see them.
 

LitigatorChick

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I''m struggling so much with the vows. FI is such a huge talker, so I have provided a 2-3 minute time limit. I want to say everything, and don''t want to leave a thing out. Just looking for perfection, that''s all!!!!
 

lilyfoot

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Congrats
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It sucks about your ex, but it seems like you both are taking it in stride, and not letting that "legal" matter come in between your and your plans, which is great! Where are you exchanging vows this weekend? (Not specific location but I mean more like home, church, etc?)
 

ckrickett

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congrats and I really hope you get the ex stuff figured out...
 

sctsbride09

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Congratulations! Ive been kind of following your "story" for a while now (I SWEAR Im not creepy
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), and I just wanted to say that Im really happy for you and your FI. Its wonderful when you find your soulmate, you seem so happy in your postings now! Again congrats to you both. And dont worry about the butthead ex, hes just jealous.
 

Lozza

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Date: 9/22/2009 2:01:41 PM
Author: TooPatient
Date: 9/22/2009 1:47:52 PM

Author:LitigatorChick

As I posted previously, we ordered a band for my FI to make us feel married - it now looks like it may be a looooong time before I get a divorce from my ex. My FI says we are going to be ''organically married'' - our marriage hasn''t been ''processed'' yet through the legal means. :)


Anyway, the band arrived TODAY!!! I am soooo nervous. We are going to exchange our vows this weekend together. I''m so nervous, excited, eeekkkk!!!

First off -- Congratulations!!! Send pictures.



LitigatorChick are you an attorney?


If so, you probably already know this stuff so just ignore.


As someone who has lived with FF for 4 years now, I have to let you know that just because the two of you are living like you are married and see yourselves as married there are other people out there who won''t. (as I was reminded last night)


Be sure to get stuff for your files just in case you need it. You should have at least a medical power of attorney and a will. Where I live, the will has to be worded just so or the ex-spouse or children can contest it and cause massive problems for the survivor. We had our attorney do a general power of attorney, medical power of attorney, and wills for each of us. (cost about $100 for everything)


Firstly, congratulations! I think it''s so sweet that you''re exchanging vows straight away. Is it just you 2, or will you have witnesses?

Secondly, in Australia the information above doesn''t apply, and I''m not sure if Canadian law is closer to US or Australian so I thought it would be worth mentioning. Here, you are considered as good as married if you live together as a couple. A court will consider the following factors in deciding whether you are de facto:

* how long the relationship has lasted;
* whether you both live in the same house;
* how the household duties are done;
* how far your finances are intertwined;
* whether you own assets together;
* the care and control of any children of the relationship;
* whether outsiders see you as "de facto";
* whether you intend the relationship to be permanent etc.

That said, it probably doesn''t hurt to have a will. SO and I got one, because we know what his family is like and they would probably argue black and blue that we weren''t serious should anything happen.
 

oddoneout

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Sorry your ex is being such an idiot but I''m glad you''re happy with your soulmate now. I vote for some pics of the ring too.
 

LitigatorChick

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Hey ladies. So I darted home and looked at the band. I didn''t take any pics..... Oops. But here is the link.

It is nice and wide and heavy - very manly. It fits (yahhhh), and they got the engraving right. So just have to write those vows (have the mac book open and ready to go.....) and find a location.

I had hoped to take him to the place that he proposed to me. But 2 problems with that plan - 1) weather might be sucky here this weekend and 2) this has now turned into a vow thing, so I am thinking about somewhere more private.

It will just be the two of us, sharing our vows in private and giving FI his ring. Nothing big, but that''s nice for us.
 

vc10um

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Date: 9/23/2009 12:13:07 PM
Author: lilyfoot
^ I agree
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This vow exchange sounds very special!

Ditto. Very nice ring, and lovely sentiment for the two of you until your ex gets his act together.

Enjoy it, and let us know how it goes. As for the vows, start with your most favorite thing about him and work from there. For my FF, it''s his eyes and how expressive they are. It might be his sense of humor, his humility, his generosity, or how safe you feel in his big strong arms (all presented just for example!)...just start there, and I''m sure you''ll come up with something beautiful!
 

LitigatorChick

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FI is so cute - he asked last night when he gets to wear his ring! I told him in 6 weeks or so...... pay back''s a b*tch!!!! Joking, but funny to see him all LIW!!!!

I''m slugging through my vows - it was hard to start, but once I got going, and revising, and going again, it has been coming out smoothly. The plan is to go to our favorite vegetarian restaurant for brunch (the location of our first official date and the venue for brunch the date he proposed) and then to a lovely park to share our vows under a tree.
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TooPatient

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Sounds so sweet. I love that you two aren''t letting a crazy ex get in the way.

The ring is great. Simple. Classic. Wonderful.
 

LitigatorChick

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My FI is just sooooo excited. We had a friend over for supper last night and he had to show him his ring (still in the box, of course!). He is such a mushy boy sometimes!!!
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Luckyeshe

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That''s awesome, LC! I love the ring!! I''m so happy that you''re not going to let the ex get in the way! Can''t wait to see hand pics for the both of you holding hands and showing off his new ring!
 

LitigatorChick

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Well, I did it!!!!
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On Sunday, we went to our favorite vegetarian place for brunch. It was supposed to be crappy weather, but it turned out to be a lovely fall day. We decided to return to the park where we got engaged, and it was just perfect. We sat in the sun next to the pond on a bench and read our vows to each other. We both were all teared up (me more than him) - it was so moving and perfect. I gave him his ring and he was overjoyed.

We came home and did a bunch of random house stuff. We then invited his parents over for supper and we had a great meal together to celebrate our "engagement" again.

I''m so excited to have that ring on his finger. It makes me so happy to see him expressing to the world his commitment to me. And he wears it so proudly, so lovingly. I am such a lucky girl.
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jcarlylew

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yay!!!

congrats!!
 

Stone Hunter

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Congrats!! Sounds like the two of you had a very lovely day!!
 

vc10um

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Hooray! It sounds like the perfect afternoon!
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Congratulations!!!
 
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