I think my engagement is off :'(

[MrsDrP]

maplefemme, I apologize if I took that the wrong way. It just seemed like you were mocking me. Sorry!

 

[liarudd]

I would have taken that the wrong way too don't apologize

I hope things work out with you and cant wait to see pics of your ring I hope you get it before Christmas
At the end of the day... it doesn't matter what anyone says - so don't even listen to the negative comments!

Wish you all the best and happiness

 

[MrsDrP]

I would have taken that the wrong way too don't apologize

I hope things work out with you and cant wait to see pics of your ring I hope you get it before Christmas
At the end of the day... it doesn't matter what anyone says - so don't even listen to the negative comments!

Wish you all the best and happiness

Thanks doll I can't wait to see yours either. I LOVE Tacori settings!

 

[liarudd]

i know i cant wait to get it either lol

let me know when you have yours too!!!!

 

[maplefemme]

maplefemme, I apologize if I took that the wrong way. It just seemed like you were mocking me. Sorry!

I wasn't mocking you, it just seems like everything has done a 180 and all is back on track like nothing ever happened - hence: wow, what a turnaround from the day before where both engagement and wedding were being put back and the future together was in great question for you both. I definitely had a wow moment reading your updated post...

No apologies, you've had a stressful few days and I could have been more clear, in retrospect I see how it reads, sorry

 

[MrsDrP]

maplefemme, I apologize if I took that the wrong way. It just seemed like you were mocking me. Sorry!

I wasn't mocking you, it just seems like everything has done a 180 and all is back on track like nothing ever happened - hence: wow, what a turnaround from the day before where both engagement and wedding were being put back and the future together was in great question for you both. I definitely had a wow moment reading your updated post...

No apologies, you've had a stressful few days and I could have been more clear, in retrospect I see how it reads, sorry

Stressful is an understatment lol, but yes I have been a little moody and on edge lately. And I agree that it does sound like a complete 180 within a couple of days. But I'm by no means complaining! That's one of my favorite things about our relationship: we don't ever stay mad at each other very long and we can pick back up where we left off without ever missing a beat.

One of you mentioned something about cooking your man's favorite meal to get back on his good side after upsetting him. I tried it tonight and I think it totally worked. I made his favorite cheesy loaded baked potato soup and he was happy as a lark! it's my new secret weapon!

 

[MissStepcut]

I would have taken that the wrong way too don't apologize

I hope things work out with you and cant wait to see pics of your ring I hope you get it before Christmas
At the end of the day... it doesn't matter what anyone says - so don't even listen to the negative comments!

Wish you all the best and happiness

Well, I suppose you're right that if anyone chooses to ignore outside perspectives, they won't "matter." But, we did all take the time to read what OP shared with us and brought our own wisdom and experience and shared that with her. I don't think blocking out "negativity" when it's coming from a place of sincere concern is necessarily in her best interest, or anyone else's. Better to think critically about what is being said, take it to heart, and question your own assumptions about your relationship and situation. Otherwise you're just living in an echo chamber.

 

[liarudd]

its not about ignoring outside advice or someone elses perspective - this whole thread got blown way out of context with a bunch of gossipy people assuming a lot of things they didnt know.....

i guess the big shock is that a lot of people were wrong and it really wasn't that big of a deal what happened.... she came here to vent maybe said somethings she didnt mean but who cares - its not like she knows us......

I agree with constructive criticism but when you are rude and insensitive towards a persons feelings that is when i stop listening......

I guess the soap is over... time to find a new thread ladies!!! They made it

guess thats not the answer a lot were looking for

 

[audball]

its not about ignoring outside advice or someone elses perspective - this whole thread got blown way out of context with a bunch of gossipy people assuming a lot of things they didnt know.....

i guess the big shock is that a lot of people were wrong and it really wasn't that big of a deal what happened.... she came here to vent maybe said somethings she didnt mean but who cares - its not like she knows us......

I agree with constructive criticism but when you are rude and insensitive towards a persons feelings that is when i stop listening......

I guess the soap is over... time to find a new thread ladies!!! They made it

guess thats not the answer a lot were looking for

I had a whole long post typed out and decided not to post it. Ultimately, the only one I see being negative is you. You have taken everything in this thread personally and it's not even your thread.

The women on this forum are no such thing. They are wonderful, loving, supportive, sincere, brutally honest women who are just trying to HELP by offering past experiences, stories, and advice.

Your "don't listen to the negative comments" is completely unhelpful because objective, adult opinions are formulated after hearing the good, the bad, and the ugly and being able to process that information without taking it personally.

Clearly, to me, even you took something form this thread and the wise advice of the women posting as just after it started you removed your personal avatar photo of yourself, I guess anonymity on the internet isn't overrated?

As for the OP - I wish you the best of luck. I hope that you can move forward in the ways that are best for you. Try to enjoy this time and experience for all it is worth. If/when you do get married, the marriage portion is way longer than the dating/courting/engagement period so enjoy all the little steps and processes along the way. Do take some time to reflect and since you're planning to do the premarital counseling, take it for all it's worth and really dig into your relationship to decide if it's what you want.If you want to see what these women can do, read my 23 page story - they are brutally honest, but caring, loving, supportive women. They bring years of advice and sincere concern to the table. I hope you realize that they really are just trying to help and aren't trying to undermind you, your relationship, or your situation.

https://www.pricescope.com/communit...o-do-advice-from-all-people-on-ps-pls.156082/

As for liarudd - I don't appreciate you throwing out blanket statements that we are gossipy, those kind of comments won't have you receiving a very warm welcome in this community.

 

[liarudd]

I have pictures of my self all over the internet - im not worried about people knowing who i am

The reason why i removed it is because I found some people on here childish and critical and not a place where i wanted to share that

if i was so worried about people knowing who i am why am i using my name? think about it i could care less of who knows who i am or what i say as i would say the same thing to your face as when i am on a computer!

I hope you have a merry christmas

 

[liarudd]

i dont have a problem with people being burtal honest - when i think it is correct... what i have a problem with is people coming up with their own ideas of what happened in a situation and then thinking they know it all.....

It s not even worth me arguing and you are entitled to your own opinion so im done with this thread

 

[audball]

I have pictures of my self all over the internet - im not worried about people knowing who i am

The reason why i removed it is because I found some people on here childish and critical and not a place where i wanted to share that

if i was so worried about people knowing who i am why am i using my name? think about it i could care less of who knows who i am or what i say as i would say the same thing to your face as when i am on a computer!

I hope you have a merry christmas

You are just proving my point. You are taking everything too personally.

 

[audball]

i dont have a problem with people being burtal honest - when i think it is correct... what i have a problem with is people coming up with their own ideas of what happened in a situation and then thinking they know it all.....

It s not even worth me arguing and you are entitled to your own opinion so im done with this thread

This is NOT being okay with people being brutally honest. Being able to be objective and truly okay with brutal honesty is being able to handle yourself in a mature when even when you don't agree what what they're saying.

Nobody was 'coming up with ideas of what happened', they were going on what they were told and tried to help. You were trying to throw her a pity party.

We are all entitled to our own opinions, which is what's so great about these boards, but people who bow out of threads because what we're saying isn't something you agree with doesn't show much maturity.

And we're the ones being childish and critical?

 

[princesss]

TOTAL threadjack to say - AUD! I'm going to post in the single ladies thread today because, well....I'm no longer single! And I want to tell you guys all about it. (I didn't post before because my mom reads the thread and I didn't want her to get all excited about him if things ended up going kaput. But we're all official and stuff now, so I can finally tell you guys!)

 

[audball]

TOTAL threadjack to say - AUD! I'm going to post in the single ladies thread today because, well....I'm no longer single! And I want to tell you guys all about it. (I didn't post before because my mom reads the thread and I didn't want her to get all excited about him if things ended up going kaput. But we're all official and stuff now, so I can finally tell you guys!)

princesss!! I have missed you! Super excited about your news! I am subscribed to the Single Ladies thread - can't wait to hear all about it!! Congrats hun...you deserve it!

 

[mrs jam]

its not about ignoring outside advice or someone elses perspective - this whole thread got blown way out of context with a bunch of gossipy people assuming a lot of things they didnt know.....

i guess the big shock is that a lot of people were wrong and it really wasn't that big of a deal what happened.... she came here to vent maybe said somethings she didnt mean but who cares - its not like she knows us......

I agree with constructive criticism but when you are rude and insensitive towards a persons feelings that is when i stop listening......

I guess the soap is over... time to find a new thread ladies!!! They made it

guess thats not the answer a lot were looking for

I had a whole long post typed out and decided not to post it. Ultimately, the only one I see being negative is you. You have taken everything in this thread personally and it's not even your thread.

The women on this forum are no such thing. They are wonderful, loving, supportive, sincere, brutally honest women who are just trying to HELP by offering past experiences, stories, and advice.

Your "don't listen to the negative comments" is completely unhelpful because objective, adult opinions are formulated after hearing the good, the bad, and the ugly and being able to process that information without taking it personally.

Clearly, to me, even you took something form this thread and the wise advice of the women posting as just after it started you removed your personal avatar photo of yourself, I guess anonymity on the internet isn't overrated?

As for the OP - I wish you the best of luck. I hope that you can move forward in the ways that are best for you. Try to enjoy this time and experience for all it is worth. If/when you do get married, the marriage portion is way longer than the dating/courting/engagement period so enjoy all the little steps and processes along the way. Do take some time to reflect and since you're planning to do the premarital counseling, take it for all it's worth and really dig into your relationship to decide if it's what you want.If you want to see what these women can do, read my 23 page story - they are brutally honest, but caring, loving, supportive women. They bring years of advice and sincere concern to the table. I hope you realize that they really are just trying to help and aren't trying to undermind you, your relationship, or your situation.

https://www.pricescope.com/communit...o-do-advice-from-all-people-on-ps-pls.156082/

As for liarudd - I don't appreciate you throwing out blanket statements that we are gossipy, those kind of comments won't have you receiving a very warm welcome in this community.

The women on here provide a wonderful support group, especially in situations where you need some objective advice that can sometimes be more helpful than the advice of your own family members and friends, simply because family and friends are sometimes too close to us to provide us with their absolutely unbiased views. Sure, there's the occasional silly disagreement over theoretical issues and stuff that doesn't really matter in our day-to-day lives, but in a crisis or emotional upheaval, these chicks are down for one another!

I had a thread several years ago where I was truly broken from a relationship - I couldn't tell right from wrong, emotional abuse from good intentions; I had no idea which end was up. I was too embarrassed to go to friends and family because at that point, I had told everyone that I had already ended things with the person, and I didn't want anyone in "real life" to know I was still allowing myself to be so foolish as to keep trying to make things work with the man. But I still needed support, and what I really, really, REALLY needed was a good swift kick in the butt with the hard boot of reality. And I got that kick here, delivered matter-of-factly yet lovingly. I am so grateful to all the women here whose words helped me find the strength and common sense I needed in order to move on from that toxic relationship. Their advice helped me pick myself up, dust myself off, and get back on a wonderful path where I loved life again and eventually met my husband, the man of of my dreams!

Is there gossip? Sure. Is there some pettiness and cattiness that pops up on threads from time to time? Of course. Bottom line, though, is when you really need a willing ear, comforting shoulder, wise advice, and sometimes a kick in the pants, the ladies here are the best.

While I feel that everything is going to work out just fine for MrsD, the wonderful thing about Pricescope is that if things for some reason did not work out the way she wanted them to, she could come back and get support, advice, and comfort. No one would be rejoicing that "they were right" or gleefully tell her that they told her so. We'd just simply be here to help.

 

[audball]

its not about ignoring outside advice or someone elses perspective - this whole thread got blown way out of context with a bunch of gossipy people assuming a lot of things they didnt know.....

i guess the big shock is that a lot of people were wrong and it really wasn't that big of a deal what happened.... she came here to vent maybe said somethings she didnt mean but who cares - its not like she knows us......

I agree with constructive criticism but when you are rude and insensitive towards a persons feelings that is when i stop listening......

I guess the soap is over... time to find a new thread ladies!!! They made it

guess thats not the answer a lot were looking for

I had a whole long post typed out and decided not to post it. Ultimately, the only one I see being negative is you. You have taken everything in this thread personally and it's not even your thread.

The women on this forum are no such thing. They are wonderful, loving, supportive, sincere, brutally honest women who are just trying to HELP by offering past experiences, stories, and advice.

Your "don't listen to the negative comments" is completely unhelpful because objective, adult opinions are formulated after hearing the good, the bad, and the ugly and being able to process that information without taking it personally.

Clearly, to me, even you took something form this thread and the wise advice of the women posting as just after it started you removed your personal avatar photo of yourself, I guess anonymity on the internet isn't overrated?

As for the OP - I wish you the best of luck. I hope that you can move forward in the ways that are best for you. Try to enjoy this time and experience for all it is worth. If/when you do get married, the marriage portion is way longer than the dating/courting/engagement period so enjoy all the little steps and processes along the way. Do take some time to reflect and since you're planning to do the premarital counseling, take it for all it's worth and really dig into your relationship to decide if it's what you want.If you want to see what these women can do, read my 23 page story - they are brutally honest, but caring, loving, supportive women. They bring years of advice and sincere concern to the table. I hope you realize that they really are just trying to help and aren't trying to undermind you, your relationship, or your situation.

https://www.pricescope.com/communit...o-do-advice-from-all-people-on-ps-pls.156082/

As for liarudd - I don't appreciate you throwing out blanket statements that we are gossipy, those kind of comments won't have you receiving a very warm welcome in this community.

The women on here provide a wonderful support group, especially in situations where you need some objective advice that can sometimes be more helpful than the advice of your own family members and friends, simply because family and friends are sometimes too close to us to provide us with their absolutely unbiased views. Sure, there's the occasional silly disagreement over theoretical issues and stuff that doesn't really matter in our day-to-day lives, but in a crisis or emotional upheaval, these chicks are down for one another!

I had a thread several years ago where I was truly broken from a relationship - I couldn't tell right from wrong, emotional abuse from good intentions; I had no idea which end was up. I was too embarrassed to go to friends and family because at that point, I had told everyone that I had already ended things with the person, and I didn't want anyone in "real life" to know I was still allowing myself to be so foolish as to keep trying to make things work with the man. But I still needed support, and what I really, really, REALLY needed was a good swift kick in the butt with the hard boot of reality. And I got that kick here, delivered matter-of-factly yet lovingly. I am so grateful to all the women here whose words helped me find the strength and common sense I needed in order to move on from that toxic relationship. Their advice helped me pick myself up, dust myself off, and get back on a wonderful path where I loved life again and eventually met my husband, the man of of my dreams!

Is there gossip? Sure. Is there some pettiness and cattiness that pops up on threads from time to time? Of course. Bottom line, though, is when you really need a willing ear, comforting shoulder, wise advice, and sometimes a kick in the pants, the ladies here are the best.

While I feel that everything is going to work out just fine for MrsD, the wonderful thing about Pricescope is that if things for some reason did not work out the way she wanted them to, she could come back and get support, advice, and comfort. No one would be rejoicing that "they were right" or gleefully tell her that they told her so. We'd just simply be here to help.

Well said.

 

[omc111]

I've followed this thread from the beginning and I have to say that in my opinion, the advice given by the posters has been excellent. As is said often, they gave their experience, strength, and hope. If an issue is put on an open forum, like Pricescope, the OP has to expect to get a range of opinions. Most of which she handled pretty well, I thought, whether she takes them to heart or not.

What I find very objectionable is the poster who seems to be only interested in criticizing the posts and who at the end, has lowered herself to calling people names. While everyone certainly has the right to their feelings and opinions, it is not constructive to the discussion for one person to become so defensive and cause the thread to deteriorate as this one has.

I've been married for 35 years and if I've learned one thing it's never make an important decision when your're mad and wait until your're not mad to talk about whatever made you mad! And concentrate on the situation, trying to look at it from the other person's point of view. Name calling and impulsive actions never work.

My $.02

 

[MrsDrP]

I've been married for 35 years and if I've learned one thing it's never make an important decision when your're mad and wait until your're not mad to talk about whatever made you mad! And concentrate on the situation, trying to look at it from the other person's point of view. Name calling and impulsive actions never work.

This is so true. If I followed through with all of the thoughts that run through my mind when I am angry, I'd be in a real pickle! I'd have so many things to fix right now. Talking things out after the initial anger has passed makes a world of difference.

 

[FuturePsyD]

I read the entire thread and I have to say that I cringed at the majority of LIARUDD's posts. The accusations you made against other posters was pretty much a projection of how you behaved throughout this whole thread, IMO.

I didn't find your posts helpful in the least, yet you feel as though you contributed SO much more than others. In fact, I feel that you resorted to bullying others into getting the responses that YOU felt were favorable and that YOU were comfortable with. Very strange, indeed.

You hijacked the thread over and over by pointing out what you found were flaws in the advice of others and thought that was helpful?

You took everything personally and what I saw was somebody who was WAY too emotionally involved in the thread of a virtual stranger. So much so, that your advice became more and more tainted as the thread progressed.

Have a lovely Christmas!

 

[monarch64]

I read the entire thread and I have to say that I cringed at the majority of LIARUDD's posts. The accusations you made against other posters was pretty much a projection of how you behaved throughout this whole thread, IMO.

I didn't find your posts helpful in the least, yet you feel as though you contributed SO much more than others. In fact, I feel that you resorted to bullying others into getting the responses that YOU felt were favorable and that YOU were comfortable with. Very strange, indeed.

You hijacked the thread over and over by pointing out what you found were flaws in the advice of others and thought that was helpful?

You took everything personally and what I saw was somebody who was WAY too emotionally involved in the thread of a virtual stranger. So much so, that your advice became more and more tainted as the thread progressed.

Have a lovely Christmas!

Not helpful, but highly entertaining!

 

[monarch64]

I've followed this thread from the beginning and I have to say that in my opinion, the advice given by the posters has been excellent. As is said often, they gave their experience, strength, and hope. If an issue is put on an open forum, like Pricescope, the OP has to expect to get a range of opinions. Most of which she handled pretty well, I thought, whether she takes them to heart or not.

What I find very objectionable is the poster who seems to be only interested in criticizing the posts and who at the end, has lowered herself to calling people names. While everyone certainly has the right to their feelings and opinions, it is not constructive to the discussion for one person to become so defensive and cause the thread to deteriorate as this one has.

I've been married for 35 years and if I've learned one thing it's never make an important decision when your're mad and wait until your're not mad to talk about whatever made you mad! And concentrate on the situation, trying to look at it from the other person's point of view. Name calling and impulsive actions never work.

My $.02

Agreed. See #4:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=white+knight

Mrs.DP, I hope you find happiness with this man if that's what you want and that things go more smoothly in the future. Best of luck to you.

 

[madelise]

oh lord, i'm so glad people started posting rationally. i was seriously starting to think i didn't want to live on this earth anymore if i was the only person who felt that way.

 

[tyty333]

I've been married for 35 years and if I've learned one thing it's never make an important decision when your're mad and wait until your're not mad to talk about whatever made you mad! And concentrate on the situation, trying to look at it from the other person's point of view. Name calling and impulsive actions never work.

This is so true. If I followed through with all of the thoughts that run through my mind when I am angry, I'd be in a real pickle! I'd have so many things to fix right now. Talking things out after the initial anger has passed makes a world of difference.

You can definitly take what omc11 said to the bank! Dont make any major decisions when you are emotionally charged. Wait
till things calm down and you can view things more rationally. I think your situation proves this point. Its a good lesson
for all.

 

[mjertl]

MrsDrP-

I'm so glad things are going better for you! As someone who just got engaged after 9 1/2 months (yeah, if you can count 1/2 months, the relationship hasn't been suuuper long! ), I don't think you should be criticized for getting engaged "too soon." You're right: when you know, you know. Making sure you've ironed out the wrinkles though is of course important - sounds like you guys already have talked about finances, jobs, kids, future goals, etc, and feel like you're on the same page, which is great! I do hope you were able to rationally talk about what happened with your argument too though. I know some people kind of advised you to hold off re-hashing it, and I understand that, but there is definitely something to be said for being able to say you're sorry when your head is clear. I would say that if/when you do talk about how you reacted to each other during your disagreement, don't focus on your timeline for your engagement/wedding, but rather on your feelings about what happened that night and the subsequent days (does that make sense?)

I did want to give you one thing to kind of think about. Having done it, I can say from absolute experience that residency is a really exciting but incredibly demanding and difficult time in a physician's life - intern year in particular. I know you are probably thinking that he is very smart and has it all together and he'll match into a great program and it will not be that difficult - it WILL be that difficult - much much more demanding than medical school ever aspired to be. His schedule is going to be almost completely out of his hands, and he will not be able to spend as much time with you as he would like. Many, many nights, weekends, and holidays will be spent at the hospital, and that won't be his choice or his fault. It can put a lot of stress on a relationship, feelings can get hurt, and arguments can happen. It's especially difficult for people who are used to being "in control/in charge," because all of a sudden the hospital is in charge. I don't say this in any way, shape, or form to try to deter you from your relationship (I hope it doesn't seem that way!), but just to encourage you to talk with him about how the two of you will handle the stresses of residency as a couple. I think you could turn the argument you just had into good practice for how you will deal with adversity/stress in your relationship in the future, if you guys work through it together . Best of luck, I'm really happy things are going better!

 

[Amys Bling]

I would guess he has bigger doubts than that but is hanging them all on this relatively small thing (and it's a convenient one since you're willing to take all the blame for what happened). A guy came onto Pricescope a few weeks ago talking about the "curse" of buying a diamond and how it made him start to notice the cracks in his relationship and his girlfriend's more offensive flaws. I think that's a pretty real phenomenon as couples get ready to progress in their relationship.

I've also heard a lot about relationships not surviving medical school. Maybe that phenomenon is at work also. Doesn't sound like there's anything you can do to "fix" this. Because his expectations are unrealistic. Proving? How can he "prove" to you he won't ditch you after the next fight? It doesn't sound like either of you are mature enough for marriage honestly. IMHO.

couldn't agree more!