Quitting Smoking Support Thread

[Vote4PedroToo]

wow, so wierd to find myself here. I've never been in this forum before. Excuse me if this becomes an emotional posting. I just put my second patch on today. And I've been bawling all morning. I haven't cried much in the last year at all. My story is this. I smoked for a couple of years in my early 20's and quit fairly easily. I am now 36.

3 years ago, my husband died in a very violent car accident. I was out of town with our daughter for a wedding. I got the call basically for dental records. I flew home, put my daughter to bed and lit up a cigarette. I've pretty much been smoking a pack a day since. If anyone has ever lost someone that close you, you probably know that feeling of crawling out of your skin. Grief like this is an awful thing. I don't wish it on anyone....EVER. Even though I knew it was bad for me and even though I knew I was the only parent my daughter had now, I have continued.

Now it's three years later. I still grieve my husband, but the pain has subsided enough for me to move forward in life. I am now engaged to a man who was a very good friend of my first hubby and me. He was actually our best man. I never thought I would find myself in the place where I am. I feel like I have a new lease on life. I know my first husband would be happy about this.

So my fiance and I have both decided to quit. He's taking Chantrix and me the patch. But today, I'm spinning back to the day my husband died. I've got that same "crawling out of my skin" feeling.

How emotional did quitting get for you? I wouldn't say that I am in a deep depression. It feels more like a purging of the nicotine along with more grief. I'm half laughing at myself that I can't stop crying. What I have learned through this grief thing and therapy with my daughter is that it comes in waves. I know I will re-visit the sadness, although a lot less often as the first couple of years.

Did any of you get emotional like this? Did you find yourself addressing things that you hadn't in a while?

Maybe I'm just certifiable.


Anyway, I am glad for this thread. I know it will help me. Thanks for letting me freak out on you.



Also, to Karasu, I am sorry for your struggle with your FI's smoking. I really feel strongly that you just have to love him and accept him and marry him for what he is, or not. I wouldn't blame you in either direction you go. No judgments there. But I concur that he has to do it in his own time for him. I know how hard it is to accept this. But I think in accepting it, it will bring you some peace. Just my 2 cents.

 

[Ninama]

Mmmmm.... ouch. *Hard* topic. I started smoking when I was 11 years old - I''m 50 now. I swear, I barely get through ONE pack a week, but I feel s****ier and s****ier with every infrequent cigarette. I can''t seem to wrap my head around jumping off...

 

[karasue91]

Wow, Pedro, I''m so sorry for your loss. Congrats on your upcoming wedding and your decision to stop smoking, your daughter must be thrilled too.

Pedro, Lorelei, Heidi, thing2 - thanks for your words of advice. I was still pretty mad when I woke up on Saturday morning, but I chose to forget about it and go on with our weekend. I could tell he appreciated it because he was extra nice to me the rest of the weekend and didn''t smoke a single puff either.

I do think he thinks he still has time before the wedding but I also think he''s beginning to realize it''s very close. We bought a couch this weekend for our house we are moving into right before the wedding, so I think that was a little bit of a wake-up call. We''ll see how things go next weekend, and the weekend after when he goes to visit his university buddies for a weekend....

It has been a stressful 5 months for both of us...we were living apart for 3 months (we moved from NYC to Calgary, I moved 3 months before he did so he could wait for his bonus and my job wanted me to start Jan 2), then he had to find a job up here, and we''ve been living with his parents the whole 5 months too (I was living with them alone before he got up here) because the house we own we have rented out until June 30. Trying to quit smoking at the same time is a pretty superhuman feat, and I told him I would be fine if he waited to quit until after he moved up and got settled in, but he wanted to quit before the move so the worst would be over by the time he got up here. I don''t understand his thinking sometimes, but it''s his thing so obviously I didn''t argue much.

I''m very confident that he will definitely not be smoking at all by the time we have children, in about 2 or 3 years, and I fully agree that he won''t be able to do it for me, only for himself. He had stopped for about 3 months two summers ago, and started up again because he was working for a total nightmare of a manager.

I do know that leaving him alone about it is the best thing I can do, and hope that his friends continue to give him hell when he tries to bum off them. It''s just so hard, he refuses to go on the patch for some reason. I know the hand-mouth thing is really hard for him, and he loves the social aspect too.

Ugh I guess we both just have to take it day by day. I love him no matter what, and there has never been a question of whether I will marry him or not. That''s an absolute definite. Smoking is something we will both continue to struggle with, but I know I can''t replace him so I just have to deal with the ups and downs of it!

Thanks again for the encouraging words, and congrats to everyone who has quit/is in the process of quitting!!

 

[Lorelei]

Karasue, if he won't consider a patch, what about the nicotine gum - Nicorette? I used that successfully, as have some others, as I desperately needed a ' crutch' while I was coming off cigarettes, and it worked well for me. Is he against nicotine replacement therapy, or just the patch? I know some can go cold turkey, but there is help out there now which can be effective, so perhaps finding him a sub such as nicotine gum or the inhalator if you can get it there, might make it easier?

Ninama, you can do it! I know it is hard to let go of smoking, but you CAN!!!!

 

[turtledazzle]

Date: 6/2/2008 12:05:17 PM
Author: Lorelei
Karasue, if he won''t consider a patch, what about the nicotine gum - Nicorette? I used that successfully, as have some others, as I desperately needed a '' crutch'' while I was coming off cigarettes, and it worked well for me. Is he against nicotine replacement therapy, or just the patch? I know some can go cold turkey, but there is help out there now which can be effective, so perhaps finding him a sub such as nicotine gum or the inhalator if you can get it there, might make it easier?

Ninama, you can do it! I know it is hard to let go of smoking, but you CAN!!!!

I also just wanted to quickly chime in that my mother, who had smoked about 40 years and at the end could easily smoke 2.5 packs per day, quit smoking in September using Chantix. I am honestly amazed and so proud that she quit -- a 40-year habit was certainly hard to break, but the Chantix definitely helped her.

 

[Lorelei]

Thanks for that TD, is Chantix a new prescription med?

 

[turtledazzle]

Date: 6/2/2008 3:16:10 PM
Author: Lorelei
Thanks for that TD, is Chantix a new prescription med?

Hi, Lorelei,

Yes, Chantix is a relatively new prescription medication (I think it came out in 2006 ... maybe early 2007?). I don''t know about its availability in the UK.

Chantix

For anyone who is reading this, Chantix (as all medications) does have some potential side effects, but with my mother they were relatively minor (some sleep disturbances ...). My brother also tried taking Chantix, but quit because he claimed it made him very moody (to me, it was not clear if the medicine had anything to do with it or if he was just moody from trying to quit smoking ... which would be expected imo). Any way, in the case of my brother I don''t think he really wanted to quit ... and was only ''going through the motions'' of taking the med because his doctor and his wife wanted him to quit. He has not quit smoking yet -- I believe because he does not yet truly want to. So, Chantix is not a magic pill, but it has helped a lot of people quit smoking, my mother included. For what it is worth, my mother''s motivating factors were (1) developing chronic obstructive pulmonary disorder (COPD) due to smoking -- she was having trouble with wheezing and breathing in general, (2) coughing fits from smoking, (3) cost of cigarettes (she is in her 70s on a very limited income), and (4) my nagging

. She smoked in her apartment, and I could not stand to go in there as I would cough and feel ill and then have to come home and shower from the smell. I began refusing to visit her inside her apartment, so we would have to visit down in the lobby. Now that she has quit we can spend quality time in her apartment. Oh, and she now rarely coughs and her breathing is much improved (and she sleeps better). Overall her quality of life is so much better now -- so it is never too late to quit!

 

[iheartscience]

Hi Karasue-I''m glad your fiance had a smoke free weekend! I feel like I sounded super negative in my post, but I just know how I felt when I was smoking and then quitting! I''m glad you weren''t offended.

Anyway, it does sound like he''s making an effort, so I''ll keep my fingers crossed for you and him! Once he quits for good, I bet he''ll find it surprisingly easy to not smoke anymore, provided he avoids his big triggers at first. I do still want cigarettes occasionally, but I just don''t do it, and I bet he won''t either. Best of luck to you both!

 

[karasue91]

Date: 6/3/2008 12:09:30 AM
Author: thing2of2
Hi Karasue-I''m glad your fiance had a smoke free weekend! I feel like I sounded super negative in my post, but I just know how I felt when I was smoking and then quitting! I''m glad you weren''t offended.

Anyway, it does sound like he''s making an effort, so I''ll keep my fingers crossed for you and him! Once he quits for good, I bet he''ll find it surprisingly easy to not smoke anymore, provided he avoids his big triggers at first. I do still want cigarettes occasionally, but I just don''t do it, and I bet he won''t either. Best of luck to you both!

haha thing2 I wasn''t offended at all!! I know he can''t quit for anyone but himself, and I wouldn''t want him to quit just for me either. Thanks for the crossed fingers, I''m typing with 10 crossed fingers and 10 crossed toes right now.

Lorelei, he actually does chew Nicorette at work and it has helped a lot. His method of quitting starts with chewing tobacco and then moves to Nicorette. I hate the chew with a passion but I hate it much less than smoking, as long as it''s only temporary. He''s been off the chew for a few weeks now and I''m so happy he''s done with that. Now he just has the occasional cigarette on the weekends and chews Nicorette at work. I just know (because he''s told me) that when he smokes it makes him want to smoke MORE and that''s gotta be more difficult than just not smoking at all, isn''t it?

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 6/3/2008 4:51:53 PM
Author: karasue91

Date: 6/3/2008 12:09:30 AM
Author: thing2of2
Hi Karasue-I'm glad your fiance had a smoke free weekend! I feel like I sounded super negative in my post, but I just know how I felt when I was smoking and then quitting! I'm glad you weren't offended.

Anyway, it does sound like he's making an effort, so I'll keep my fingers crossed for you and him! Once he quits for good, I bet he'll find it surprisingly easy to not smoke anymore, provided he avoids his big triggers at first. I do still want cigarettes occasionally, but I just don't do it, and I bet he won't either. Best of luck to you both!

haha thing2 I wasn't offended at all!! I know he can't quit for anyone but himself, and I wouldn't want him to quit just for me either. Thanks for the crossed fingers, I'm typing with 10 crossed fingers and 10 crossed toes right now.

Lorelei, he actually does chew Nicorette at work and it has helped a lot. His method of quitting starts with chewing tobacco and then moves to Nicorette. I hate the chew with a passion but I hate it much less than smoking, as long as it's only temporary. He's been off the chew for a few weeks now and I'm so happy he's done with that. Now he just has the occasional cigarette on the weekends and chews Nicorette at work. I just know (because he's told me) that when he smokes it makes him want to smoke MORE and that's gotta be more difficult than just not smoking at all, isn't it?

It sounds as if he isn't quite ready to let go yet, I know it took me some time to let go forever. Yes, smoking a little makes it so much harder than not smoking at all.

One method doesn't work for everyone as you know, it can be so hard to visualise your life with no more cigarettes ever, it is a frightening prospect! I used to smoke as an emotional crutch I think, if I got stressed or anxious ( which happens frequently) I would scuttle off and have a cigarette, and I really used to panic at the thought of being without them. But I think if your BF could actually stop rather than prolonging things which it sounds like he is doing, it would be a lot easier in the long run.

I think once you make the commitment to stop, it gets easier with time. Maybe if your BF can use the full Nicorette program where you chew a good amount of pieces as recommended on the pack, and stick to it, he might find it a lot easier to stop altogether as the desire to smoke could well be less. The gum worked well for me finally even after many failed attempts with it. I think it is so important to use NRT as directed for the best chance of success, so make sure he is having enough of the gum to ease withdrawal symptoms.

The most helpful thing you can do is to be supportive as you are being. It is so difficult to imagine living without cigarettes, it can take a while to take the leap and fully commit to it, but it sounds like your BF is well on the way to doing so!

 

[Shay37]

Thing, good for you. I am so glad that you''re a quitter too.

Ninama, you too can be a quitter.

Ladies, think of the bling you can save for.

Pedro, I am so moved by your situation. I am humbled by your loss. Congrats on moving forward and knowing that you''re moving forward. I do believe that part of your stuff is nicotine withdrawal. Also you used ciggies as a way to deal with loss. Now you must mourn the ciggies. It''s just the way of things. Letting go is hard, but it''s doable. We''re here for you.

karasue, I am impressed that you care enough to ask what you can do. I am sorry to say the answer is nothing. I had tried to quit for my DH a number of times. He would bug the crap out of me. Are you Okay? How did it go today? stuff like that. It did NOT help me. When I quit for me in January of ''07, he never asked me a thing. it made it much easier. Also that time, I quit for ME!!! Your BF has to realize that too. He can''t quit because you want him to. If it''s a dealbreaker then maybe you need to say you''re done. He may not be able to quit for you. It''s not because he doesn''t want to. He probably loves you more than anything in this world, but he has to love himself enough to want better for his lungs. You just have to decide are you going to love him through this and in spite of his failing (because he may) or not. I think that your heart knows the answer. You have to love him, honey. Also remember that the thing that hurts a smoker the most about failing is disappointing the loved one that doesn''t smoke. My DH wouldn''t say a lot, but I could see it in his face. It hurt me a lot to hurt him.

shay

 

[sputat]

My smoking background:

I started smoking in college (16) and was the type who loved it. It was a part of my persona and I never felt bad about it. I was 26 when my boyfriend and I agreed to live together. He wanted me to quit for my health and he was a non-smoker . I was smoking a pack a day then and like I said, I loved being a smoker so it was a hard sell. He dared me that as a bonus, he will buy me a Louis so it will be a win/win for both of us.

How I was able to quit:

When I think about it, the only reason why it worked (especially since I didn't exactly quit for me...) was the fact that we moved to a new city and all of my habits connected with smoking were gone. I used to be able to smoke in my old apartment, take several smoke breaks at work (I negotiated with my ex-boss that I won't take a proper lunch break in lieu of having 6 smoke breaks a day LoL), smoke after meals or over drinks, smoke in the can, etc. etc. It was a fresh start, with no smoking buddies and smoking "reasons". By day 3 of just white-knuckling it, I was losing my mind. I decided to be on the patch. I only did 3 weeks of it instead of the prescribed 2 months(?) since I thought they were too expensive @ $30 per week. LoL Well, of course I didn't mind paying almost $4 a day for a pack of smokes but I digress. I surprised myself that I was able to quit... and he did get me my first Louis. It was the beginning though of a short-lived purse habit.

My ups and downs and ups:

I admit that I "cheat" whenever I visit my old apartment (my brother took over the lease after I left) or when I hang out with my old girlfriend... but I do it out of old habit. I don't particularly enjoy it but my mind, my mind's another matter... I'll always be a (non-smoking) smoker. As soon as I leave my old stomping ground, I am back to smoke-free with no lingering withdrawal symptoms. Sometimes, I see somebody smoking, I feel envious. Sometimes, I'm unaffected. I still think about it everyday actually but just not enough to want to light up. My body is over it... but it will always be in the back of my mind. I did gain weight (a lot of it) but now I'll just have to get active. Why can't I be addicted to exercising? I never got back to my smoking weight and that's a bummer. I kinda miss how I wasn't hungry all the time when I was smoking.

My advice for what it's worth:

Like that anti-smoking commercial I've been seeing lately, you have to relearn how to go about your day minus cigarettes. Although I didn't quit for me (and yes, was even bribed in the process), the end justified the means. The last time I visited home, I snuck in 2 puffs and that was that. It tasted awful. I dunno why I had to do it, heh.

Good luck to everybody who's trying to quit! And for those who got over that hump, keep up the fab work!

 

[Sharon101]

I was a smoker who smoked since about 12 yo and tried every known method of giving up known to man!!!!! I couldnt even quite when preg. 3 times. I tried patches, tablets, willpower, hypno, etc etc. I then came to the conclusion at the age of 38 that I was going to die a smoker!!!!! There was no way I could do it, it was too painful to quite as smoking was in my blood, it was my whole existence from the minute I woke to the time I fell asleep.


Well, I want to share the miricle that happened quite by accident. I came across a book from a friend who was a smoking buddy of mine. She had quite effortlessly. I was beyond intregued and could not believe what I was seeing!!!! My closest smoking buddy had quite with no real effort, no pain, nothing but happiness and peace!!! Too good to be true?????

Well, the book was written by Allen Carr. I bought the book and to my utter disbelief and amazement, the book took me back to the day before I had the first ciggie. So I hadnt quite, but was back to the time before I was addicted. I smoked like crazy while reading the book (slowly over weeks) just like the writter suggests. He encourages you to smoke as much as possible so you dont stress out over reading the book.

I swear by the last page......Im done and its a bl**dy miricle that I will never understand!!!!!!

But I reckon that I owe this guy at least 10 years that he has added to my life, and Im happy to share this unlikely solution to a very complicated addiction.

I have been free of the addiction for 2 years now and I sometimes even forget that I ever smoked. The book really works and if nothing else you will have a very funny read from the king of smokers himself. He identifies every trick in the book and is spot on because he did it himself.

Good luck, there is help out there and hope too. Each day gives you another chance to find the way back to normal life without needing a ciggie!!!!!

 

[aprilcait]

Hubby and I are starting the process of quitting. We''re weaning ourselves... each week we take a cigarette off of our normal schedule (we smoke at specific times, i.e.: when we get home from work, after dinner, etc). We''re not heavy smokers (only 5 or so cigarettes per day during the week) and I''ve learned that for me - not as much for hubby, though - it is more of a habit than a nicotine dependency. The main challenge I see: not smoking when drinking. Those two activities just go hand-in-hand for me... as well as for hubby. I dread that step.

We cut out the morning cig last week (meaning our first cigarette of the day is at 6:00pm when I get home from work). We also made a rule: no smoking in the car. Personally, I don''t like smoking when I drive but hubby does like smoking while driving, which means I usually end up smoking when I''m a passenger. Hubby is having a bit of an issue with the car rule but it''s going pretty well. This week we cut out the after dinner cig. Little by little!

 

[westjenn]

I don''t think its ever easy to quit smoking once you''ve become addicted. After finding out I was pregnant I quit smoking the first time. I thought about smoking during my entire pregnancy. I nursed my son for 8 months, but could never get smoking out of my mind.

After not smoking for almost 2 years I had one. Honestly, it was horrible: NOTHING like I remembered it, but I kept doing it until it tasted the way it used to and I was hooked again for another 5 years.

I used to go outside for cigarettes and while I was standing outside (in the winter I''d be bundled up standing the snow) my husband would bring my son to the window (3 yrs old at the time) and my son would knock on the window and wave to me... Talk about feeling guilty!

There are so many reasons to quit and so many different ways to do it: I''ve tried hypnosis, the nictoine gum, the patch, Wellbutrin. The only thing that worked for me is when I found out I was pregnant for the 2nd time. For some reason I''ve been able to refrain from smoking and its been almost 2 years now. The thing that I realize now is how much time smoking took up in my life. I have so much more time to spend with my children, my husband. Don''t give up! Good luck

 

[aprilcait]

For those of you who have quit smoking and had the same "drinking and smoking go hand-in-hand" thing as me, how did you get over it?

 

[karasue91]

Date: 6/5/2008 7:10:57 AM
Author: Lorelei

Date: 6/3/2008 4:51:53 PM

Author: karasue91

Date: 6/3/2008 12:09:30 AM

Author: thing2of2

Hi Karasue-I''m glad your fiance had a smoke free weekend! I feel like I sounded super negative in my post, but I just know how I felt when I was smoking and then quitting! I''m glad you weren''t offended.


Anyway, it does sound like he''s making an effort, so I''ll keep my fingers crossed for you and him! Once he quits for good, I bet he''ll find it surprisingly easy to not smoke anymore, provided he avoids his big triggers at first. I do still want cigarettes occasionally, but I just don''t do it, and I bet he won''t either. Best of luck to you both!

haha thing2 I wasn''t offended at all!! I know he can''t quit for anyone but himself, and I wouldn''t want him to quit just for me either. Thanks for the crossed fingers, I''m typing with 10 crossed fingers and 10 crossed toes right now.


Lorelei, he actually does chew Nicorette at work and it has helped a lot. His method of quitting starts with chewing tobacco and then moves to Nicorette. I hate the chew with a passion but I hate it much less than smoking, as long as it''s only temporary. He''s been off the chew for a few weeks now and I''m so happy he''s done with that. Now he just has the occasional cigarette on the weekends and chews Nicorette at work. I just know (because he''s told me) that when he smokes it makes him want to smoke MORE and that''s gotta be more difficult than just not smoking at all, isn''t it?

It sounds as if he isn''t quite ready to let go yet, I know it took me some time to let go forever. Yes, smoking a little makes it so much harder than not smoking at all.


One method doesn''t work for everyone as you know, it can be so hard to visualise your life with no more cigarettes ever, it is a frightening prospect! I used to smoke as an emotional crutch I think, if I got stressed or anxious ( which happens frequently) I would scuttle off and have a cigarette, and I really used to panic at the thought of being without them. But I think if your BF could actually stop rather than prolonging things which it sounds like he is doing, it would be a lot easier in the long run.


I think once you make the commitment to stop, it gets easier with time. Maybe if your BF can use the full Nicorette program where you chew a good amount of pieces as recommended on the pack, and stick to it, he might find it a lot easier to stop altogether as the desire to smoke could well be less. The gum worked well for me finally even after many failed attempts with it. I think it is so important to use NRT as directed for the best chance of success, so make sure he is having enough of the gum to ease withdrawal symptoms.


The most helpful thing you can do is to be supportive as you are being. It is so difficult to imagine living without cigarettes, it can take a while to take the leap and fully commit to it, but it sounds like your BF is well on the way to doing so!

Well we went to a concert last night and he bummed cigarettes off everyone and their brother. Uggghhhh so frusterating. He''s clearly not ready to quit yet, but I''m really grateful that he has cut down so much. I know there are days when he doesn''t have a single cigarette, and the most he has in a day now (I think!) is maybe 3 or 4. Although he''s going to visit his college buddies in Utah this weekend and I think there are lots of smokers in that crowd. One thing I can count on is that the cheapskate in him refuses to pay Canadian prices for cigarettes!! hahaha

Shay, thanks for your advice, and I know you are right. In the beginning I really tried not to ask about it, and it was helpful that we were living 3000 miles away from each other. Like I said before, there is no question we will be getting married in 2 months (eeekk!!!!) and even if we weren''t, I wouldn''t leave him over this in a million years. It''s just SO HARD watching do this to himself, and obviously I can''t possibly understand.

Thanks very much for everyone''s advice, I''ve never known anyone who has quit smoking so hearing it from your points of view is very helpful.

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 6/10/2008 11:07:57 AM
Author: aprilcait
For those of you who have quit smoking and had the same ''drinking and smoking go hand-in-hand'' thing as me, how did you get over it?

I had already quit drinking, as I knew I would need to to quit smoking. That is a very tough battle if you are having a wee drinkie, is to not have a cigarette! I would nix the alcohol while trying to quit personally if you can, or if not, then reduce it to increase your chances of success. I used to get dreadful cravings while drinking, so for me, it was easier to stick to soda.

 

[monarch64]

Date: 6/10/2008 11:07:57 AM
Author: aprilcait
For those of you who have quit smoking and had the same ''drinking and smoking go hand-in-hand'' thing as me, how did you get over it?

I stopped drinking beer for maybe 2 weeks...that was my biggest "I have to have a cig to go along with it" drink. My husband and I stopped going out for drinks also. Nowadays, you can''t smoke in bars or restaurants where we live (chicagoland area/and downtown chicago), so it''s really much easier. Even when we''re having drinks with friends in homes or backyards I don''t have nearly the urgent craving I used to...

I think once you try having a drink and not smoking, it is difficult, but you will see that it is actually do-able. If you ONLY have a cigarette or crave them when you drink, you have to change up the situation and just have a Coke or something that won''t make you crave smoking.

Another thing I did to "extinguish" the craving when I had a drink was to do a search on drinking and smoking before I went out with my DH. All kinds of articles would pop up that related to mouth cancer, etc. Scare tactics, yes, but they also reinforced for me my vow to stop smoking.

 

[iwannaprettyone]

Date: 6/9/2008 11:23:59 AM
Author: aprilcait

Hubby and I are starting the process of quitting. We''re weaning ourselves... each week we take a cigarette off of our normal schedule (we smoke at specific times, i.e.: when we get home from work, after dinner, etc). We''re not heavy smokers (only 5 or so cigarettes per day during the week) and I''ve learned that for me - not as much for hubby, though - it is more of a habit than a nicotine dependency. The main challenge I see: not smoking when drinking. Those two activities just go hand-in-hand for me... as well as for hubby. I dread that step.

We cut out the morning cig last week (meaning our first cigarette of the day is at 6:00pm when I get home from work). We also made a rule: no smoking in the car. Personally, I don''t like smoking when I drive but hubby does like smoking while driving, which means I usually end up smoking when I''m a passenger. Hubby is having a bit of an issue with the car rule but it''s going pretty well. This week we cut out the after dinner cig. Little by little!

Oh, this is tough.

I am purley a social smoker. My bf smokes, I go to her house for a couple of glasses of wine and have a couple of cigarettes. I go to the bar, the same thing. It is so hard, I hate it but not sure how a pack or less cigs every couple of weeks can have such control over me. I used to smoke about half a pack a day so i have definatley cut back, I guess that I have convinced myself that 1 a day can''t be so bad

 

[Shay37]

Date: 6/23/2008 4:09:18 PM
Author: iwannaprettyone

Date: 6/9/2008 11:23:59 AM
Author: aprilcait

Hubby and I are starting the process of quitting. We''re weaning ourselves... each week we take a cigarette off of our normal schedule (we smoke at specific times, i.e.: when we get home from work, after dinner, etc). We''re not heavy smokers (only 5 or so cigarettes per day during the week) and I''ve learned that for me - not as much for hubby, though - it is more of a habit than a nicotine dependency. The main challenge I see: not smoking when drinking. Those two activities just go hand-in-hand for me... as well as for hubby. I dread that step.

We cut out the morning cig last week (meaning our first cigarette of the day is at 6:00pm when I get home from work). We also made a rule: no smoking in the car. Personally, I don''t like smoking when I drive but hubby does like smoking while driving, which means I usually end up smoking when I''m a passenger. Hubby is having a bit of an issue with the car rule but it''s going pretty well. This week we cut out the after dinner cig. Little by little!

Oh, this is tough.

I am purley a social smoker. My bf smokes, I go to her house for a couple of glasses of wine and have a couple of cigarettes. I go to the bar, the same thing. It is so hard, I hate it but not sure how a pack or less cigs every couple of weeks can have such control over me. I used to smoke about half a pack a day so i have definatley cut back, I guess that I have convinced myself that 1 a day can''t be so bad

Please, please, please don''t beat yourself up. This is part of what makes it so hard to quite completely. If it wasn''t hard, it wouldn''t be an addiction. Take every success no matter how small and feel the triumph it deserves. It''s not half a pack a day. It''s one or two on the weekends, or it''s one a day. If you are negative, it will be even harder. Think about it. How many times have you thought to yourself, "frig it. I will never be able to do this." Then immediately you felt the need to have another ciggie. I know. I have been there.

shay

 

[cwj]

I really want to thank you guys for keeping this thread going! I have read it several times in the past month or so. I have been wanting to quit, I just couldn't get quite brave enough to try again. I have quit two times before, both times I was PG, it was hard then but I did it for the baby. The longest time was 3 years then one New Years Eve I thought what will it hurt, just tonight while we are out. That was about 14 years ago. In that 14 years I have tried several times and couldn't do it!! After reading the posts here I decided to give it another try. I will said that I have a little help, about a year ago my doctor put me on Welbutrin Xl, which is a antidepressant. Although it wasn't prescribed for smoking it is known to help smokers quit. So I had already started trying to cut back when I started reading this thread. I ordered the book that was mention here, The Easy Way to Stop Smoking by Allen Carr. That book really makes you want to become a nonsmoker!! At several points in the book, I was ready to tear up what was left of the pack I was smoking!! The book said to keep on smoking until you finished reading the whole book, so I did. I ran out of smokes Sat. morning 7/19/08. I have not smoked since then! 1 week and 2 days! Every now and again I reach for my smokes and have to remind myself that I don't have any!! It is hard sometimes, but the feeling goes away pretty quick.
Anyway I just wanted to thank you for this thread and ask everybody to keep it going, you just never know who might read this and be encouraged to give it another try! Please pray for me to have the strength to do this, I know I will be tested and dont know if I will be strong enough to keep going.

Thanks,
cwj

 

[jcarlylew]

oh i soo wish i could get boyf on this thread. He said eventually he''ll quit smoking. i want him to stop NOW. But i know it will not happen until he is completely ready too.

Anyone have any suggestions on how to help him get motivated and stay motivated on not smoking? I want to stay away from taking away or giving "prizes" (heh). The only ultimatum he has (with me) is that if we have kids, he stops smoking.

 

[Lorelei]

CWJ, I will be praying for you - you can totally do this!!!!! In 3 days, it will be my 2 year anniversary of being smoke free! I never thought I would manage it, but I did - keep going

Keep that book by you, it really helped me out also.

J, I know that is tricky to try to convince someone to quit, but hopefully soon he will be ready. All you can really do is encourage him when he brings it up, then see if you can suggest a date or time period he might be ok with.

 

[cwj]

Thanks Lorelei! I do think the book will come in handy when I start to slip.

J, I don''t think there is anything another person can do to make you want to quit. I wish I knew the magic words to help, but I think,(I know in my case)the person has to want it for themself. I don''t know a smoker that doesn''t wish they had never started. We all(smokers) know how bad they are for you, but still can''t seem to find the willpower to quit. Try ordering that book and have it handy the next time he mentions quitting, tell him a friend was reading it and said how much it was helping. Thats really all you can do, be supportive. Good Luck!
cwj

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 7/28/2008 3:39:52 PM
Author: cwj
Thanks Lorelei! I do think the book will come in handy when I start to slip.

J, I don''t think there is anything another person can do to make you want to quit. I wish I knew the magic words to help, but I think,(I know in my case)the person has to want it for themself. I don''t know a smoker that doesn''t wish they had never started. We all(smokers) know how bad they are for you, but still can''t seem to find the willpower to quit. Try ordering that book and have it handy the next time he mentions quitting, tell him a friend was reading it and said how much it was helping. Thats really all you can do, be supportive. Good Luck!
cwj

From what I remember of the book, he says that really all you have to do is never take another puff - and it is so simple but true. I found those words of great help to me. How is it going for you?

 

[cwj]

Date: 7/29/2008 9:06:48 AM
Author: Lorelei

Date: 7/28/2008 3:39:52 PM
Author: cwj
Thanks Lorelei! I do think the book will come in handy when I start to slip.

J, I don''t think there is anything another person can do to make you want to quit. I wish I knew the magic words to help, but I think,(I know in my case)the person has to want it for themself. I don''t know a smoker that doesn''t wish they had never started. We all(smokers) know how bad they are for you, but still can''t seem to find the willpower to quit. Try ordering that book and have it handy the next time he mentions quitting, tell him a friend was reading it and said how much it was helping. Thats really all you can do, be supportive. Good Luck!
cwj

From what I remember of the book, he says that really all you have to do is never take another puff - and it is so simple but true. I found those words of great help to me. How is it going for you?

So far pretty good. I haven''t cheated at all, although a time or two I thought about it! I am finding that this week I seem to be irritated much more easily! I try to remember that it the not smoking that gots me on edge and not to take it out on anybody else. Funny thing, my husband and family are the ones that stay on me the most about smoking and nobody has noticed that I am not. Can you believe that? I have only told one person at work that I was quitting, but a few of the other smokers have notice that I haven''t been out in the smoking area lately and have asked if I quit. I didn''t want to let anybody know until I was sure I could make it. Since some of the coworkers have found out, some of them have teased me about wanting one of theirs, just wanting me to give in and cheat. The funny thing about that is when they come back in from smoking they smell so bad I could throw up and that gives me more willpower! haha

12 days in and counting!!!
cwj

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 7/30/2008 10:50:50 AM
Author: cwj

Date: 7/29/2008 9:06:48 AM
Author: Lorelei

Date: 7/28/2008 3:39:52 PM
Author: cwj
Thanks Lorelei! I do think the book will come in handy when I start to slip.

J, I don''t think there is anything another person can do to make you want to quit. I wish I knew the magic words to help, but I think,(I know in my case)the person has to want it for themself. I don''t know a smoker that doesn''t wish they had never started. We all(smokers) know how bad they are for you, but still can''t seem to find the willpower to quit. Try ordering that book and have it handy the next time he mentions quitting, tell him a friend was reading it and said how much it was helping. Thats really all you can do, be supportive. Good Luck!
cwj

From what I remember of the book, he says that really all you have to do is never take another puff - and it is so simple but true. I found those words of great help to me. How is it going for you?

So far pretty good. I haven''t cheated at all, although a time or two I thought about it! I am finding that this week I seem to be irritated much more easily! I try to remember that it the not smoking that gots me on edge and not to take it out on anybody else. Funny thing, my husband and family are the ones that stay on me the most about smoking and nobody has noticed that I am not. Can you believe that? I have only told one person at work that I was quitting, but a few of the other smokers have notice that I haven''t been out in the smoking area lately and have asked if I quit. I didn''t want to let anybody know until I was sure I could make it. Since some of the coworkers have found out, some of them have teased me about wanting one of theirs, just wanting me to give in and cheat. The funny thing about that is when they come back in from smoking they smell so bad I could throw up and that gives me more willpower! haha

12 days in and counting!!!
cwj

KEEP GOING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are doing so well, and the worst should be over now as you have gone 12 days - congratulations!!! I know, it smells so horrible when you smell smoke on someone else, you don''t notice it at all when you do smoke. Also your health will have significantly improved by now, you will be breathing easier and many other great things will be happening as your body heals itself.

I think you deserve a treat for doing so well, I used to treat myself to perfume or lotions that I could smell once I quit the cigarettes! Also kudos to you for not caving in at work with the others!!! I know that is so difficult to avoid the smoke breaks, but I think you have got this thing beat by the sound of it!

 

[cwj]

I think my body is just about over the addition. If I fail now it will be the willpower, do you remember that along the way you tend to forget why you wanted to quit so badly? It''s like a trick your brain plays on you. I just keep telling myself that I am a nonsmoker.

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 7/31/2008 8:31:49 AM
Author: cwj
I think my body is just about over the addition. If I fail now it will be the willpower, do you remember that along the way you tend to forget why you wanted to quit so badly? It's like a trick your brain plays on you. I just keep telling myself that I am a nonsmoker.

Oh sure....After a few days reality set in and it was like yikes!!! This will be my life now without cigarettes and it took some getting used to. That was when I began to give myself little treats to keep myself going with the money I had saved from not smoking and that really helped. It DOES get easier, this is all temporary and those feelings will pass - you just have to ride it out!

2 years for me tomorrow smoke free!!!