Women Who Have Kids: Are You OK With It? Any Regrets?

[Dancing Fire]

 

[ruby59]

I have 3 children.

If it were not for my many miscarriages and then health problems, I would have had at least 2 more.

I love being a mother and a grandmother.

 

[Jambalaya]

 

[Queenie60]

I have two - ages 23 and 19. No regrets here. Just hope they grow up soon and mature.

 

[momhappy]

Nope. None. Best thing ever.

 

[chrono]

Difficult journey, sometimes I question my decision and sanity, but never regretted. Very glad to have stopped at 2!

 

[Elizabeth35]

I have two kids----now 28 and 29.
I took on 4 step-kids when I remarried 6 years ago at age 53. They were 13,15,17, and 21 at the time. These kids all lived FT with their dad and me---not every other weekend visits. I did my best to help mentor/support/guide these kids. I am fortunate that all the kids welcomed me and we had absolutely zero issues getting along.

It has been an exciting, and mostly fun, ride. But it has also been extremely challenging and exhausting at times. I could not have done this without having such a great partner.

No regrets---love them all.
We enjoy seeing them frequently and I'm sure when there are grandkids we will enjoy them as well.

That being said---we are LOVING finally having an empty nest as youngest is now in college!

 

[the_mother_thing]

Difficult journey, sometimes I question my decision and sanity, but never regretted.

Ditto! I questioned many times if "motherhood" was right for me while raising mine, as I never felt like I had that mega-maternal instinct, am less 'emotion'-driven/nurturing-type, and more of a hard-ass when it comes to things; however, I have no regrets. My DD and I have such a great, mature relationship now (not that it was ever terrible, just 'trying' mostly during the early teens with the usual mood swings, "I hate you"s, etc.). I am not the 'best' parent, but I always did/do the best I can. And now that she's 18 (and quite mature for her age), I love that we are friends, and our conversations are about more 'adult' topics vs. Teletubbies, Barney, and who wore what to school that day.

That all said, I would NEVER judge someone who decides motherhood is not right for them; in fact, I applaud people who recognize their own strengths & weaknesses and place value on 'quality' vs. 'quantity' when it comes to being a parent. Two of my cousins decided to not have kids for these reasons, and I respect their decisions as much as I do someone who wants to have a dozen kids. Motherhood is like a string bikini ... just because we can wear one doesn't mean we necessarily should.

 

[House Cat]

.

 

[Puppmom]

I have 3 kids (22, 6 and 4). My eldest was born when I was 17 so I've never known adult life without children. I have no regrets. They make the world go round.

I do see how being childless can be appealing. Whatever floats your boat!

 

[redwood66]

We have twin sons who are now 25 and no regrets ever.

JCJ you and I sound very alike. Shocker! I never wanted to hold anyone's baby or babysit anyone's kids. DH and I had our boys and I was still not the gush over babies type. They have been and are the joy of my life. I don't think I could have handled a girl but she probably would have turned out a tom boy anyway.

 

[YadaYadaYada]

This is going to sound horrible but if I am being honest I would have been good with one child. Not that I don't love my second but he is a lot to handle and most of the time more than I can handle without my husband. So my solution is I stay home a lot because he will fight me every time I have to put him in his car seat, throw high pitched screaming fits in stores etc. I just keep hoping that he will get a little easier with age and that if we can just get him into school, that will satisfy he needs to be constantly busy.

I love both my kids but I'm literally just trying to get by with the second. Hopefully that doesn't make me a horrible person.

 

[Queenie60]

This is going to sound horrible but if I am being honest I would have been good with one child. Not that I don't love my second but he is a lot to handle and most of the time more than I can handle without my husband. So my solution is I stay home a lot because he will fight me every time I have to put him in his car seat, throw high pitched screaming fits in stores etc. I just keep hoping that he will get a little easier with age and that if we can just get him into school, that will satisfy he needs to be constantly busy.

I love both my kids but I'm literally just trying to get by with the second. Hopefully that doesn't make me a horrible person.

You're not a horrible person - just human. My eldest (son) was the same and I find him to still be a challenge at age 23. Number two (daughter) is pretty easy.

I wish you well and hope he grows out of his tantrums. You're a good mom and doing your best. Keep your chin up.

 

[partgypsy]

This is going to sound horrible but if I am being honest I would have been good with one child. Not that I don't love my second but he is a lot to handle and most of the time more than I can handle without my husband. So my solution is I stay home a lot because he will fight me every time I have to put him in his car seat, throw high pitched screaming fits in stores etc. I just keep hoping that he will get a little easier with age and that if we can just get him into school, that will satisfy he needs to be constantly busy.

I love both my kids but I'm literally just trying to get by with the second. Hopefully that doesn't make me a horrible person.

My second is also a lot to handle, and also has some learning disabilities which for now = expensive school. My life would have been a lot more smooth sailing if I had stuck to 1, but at the same time I can't imagine life without number 2. So, yes some worries, but no regrets. I know there are those who had a lot of physical struggles or were unable to biologically have kids, so I'm thankful that I was able to have kids naturally.

 

[Rhea]

This is going to sound horrible but if I am being honest I would have been good with one child. Not that I don't love my second but he is a lot to handle and most of the time more than I can handle without my husband. So my solution is I stay home a lot because he will fight me every time I have to put him in his car seat, throw high pitched screaming fits in stores etc. I just keep hoping that he will get a little easier with age and that if we can just get him into school, that will satisfy he needs to be constantly busy.

I love both my kids but I'm literally just trying to get by with the second. Hopefully that doesn't make me a horrible person.

You're not horrible! Raising children is tough. I'm sure you're doing a great job, don't add self-doubt to the list of things you're dealing with. Just keep up the good work, you're a good person for it.

 

[LLJsmom]

Nope. Thought I didn't want kids. Had them and decided I wanted more. My DH vetoed so I'm glad I have two. The toughest but THE most rewarding thing I've done with my life.

 

[LLJsmom]

This is going to sound horrible but if I am being honest I would have been good with one child. Not that I don't love my second but he is a lot to handle and most of the time more than I can handle without my husband. So my solution is I stay home a lot because he will fight me every time I have to put him in his car seat, throw high pitched screaming fits in stores etc. I just keep hoping that he will get a little easier with age and that if we can just get him into school, that will satisfy he needs to be constantly busy.

I love both my kids but I'm literally just trying to get by with the second. Hopefully that doesn't make me a horrible person.

Nope, not horrible at all. Kudos to you for doing what you have to to get through each day. You are dealing with real life and doing everything you can.

 

[the_mother_thing]

We have twin sons who are now 25 and no regrets ever.

JCJ you and I sound very alike. Shocker! I never wanted to hold anyone's baby or babysit anyone's kids. DH and I had our boys and I was still not the gush over babies type. They have been and are the joy of my life. I don't think I could have handled a girl but she probably would have turned out a tom boy anyway.

My sister from another mister. (hugs) My daughter definitely went through the tom boy stage, along with about a dozen other 'stages'. It was kind of cool though because it was like having a boy at times. While she had her moments, I feel like I really lucked out with a good kid overall. When my mother tried talking me into having another, I said 'nope; we nailed it on the first try'.

StephanieLynn - do NOT feel horrible for feeling the way you do. As rewarding as parenting is, it's not for the faint of heart and can really test your limits at times. It's perfectly normal to feel a range of emotions so do not beat yourself up in the least.

 

[redwood66]

This is going to sound horrible but if I am being honest I would have been good with one child. Not that I don't love my second but he is a lot to handle and most of the time more than I can handle without my husband. So my solution is I stay home a lot because he will fight me every time I have to put him in his car seat, throw high pitched screaming fits in stores etc. I just keep hoping that he will get a little easier with age and that if we can just get him into school, that will satisfy he needs to be constantly busy.

I love both my kids but I'm literally just trying to get by with the second. Hopefully that doesn't make me a horrible person.

You are not horrible. There are trying times for sure but you can do it. The screams of two baby boys have long faded into my memory buckets.

 

[tsavvy]

No regrets! While raising children can stretch your limits and feel overwhelming at times (as mentioned previously in the thread), there is also a lot of joy to be had. I have a 20-year old step-son who I've had since he was seven and a two-year old. My step-son had some learning issues in the early years and some issues later that required a lot of focus and attention - DH and I thought we did not have the capacity to raise more kids because of the emotional energy DS required. Fast-forward to our little girl and I wish that we had another child earlier. She is extremely sweet and I think DS would have had an easier time growing up if he had a sibling closer in age and if there had been less of a laser-like focus on raising him. If I was younger, we'd have more kids. We may end up having another anyway

 

[Laila619]

I have four kids under 7, soon to be five. It's hard and a LOT of work/chaos, but no regrets. Those little munchkins are my world.

 

[Puppmom]

Stephanie, you don't sound horrible at all! I think your feelings are completely normal. When DS2 was born and DH left the hospital to go care for our then 2 year old I panicked. I looked at DS2's squishy little newborn face and literally said aloud, "What the eff was I thinking?"

None of my children are/were very high energy but my two year old grandson NEVER STOPS MOVING. Spending time with him can send my stress level through the roof.

Laila, congratulations on number 5!

 

[ruby59]

I have four kids under 7, soon to be five. It's hard and a LOT of work/chaos, but no regrets. Those little munchkins are my world.

Your children are so lucky to have you as a mother.

I had 3 under the age of 7, and a husband who traveled often for work.

It was a lot of hard work but I would not trade a minute of it.

 

[baby monster]

I thought in the beginning that my second was a "lemon."

Complained to the hospital, they said "no returns."

Complained to DH, he said "only 50% my fault so complain to the better half"

 

[Logan Sapphire]

I have 2, who will be 7 and 9 this spring.

I'm the least maternal woman out there and don't like other people's kids, but I love mine, even though they put me over the edge daily.

Having said that, there are a lot of aspects of parenting/being a parent that I strongly dislike. I would never be the person who says they love everything about parenthood.

 

[Loves Vintage]

Laila - Congratulations!! What wonderful news!

To answer the original question, I love being a mom!! I was never a kid person. Never. People would bring their kids into the office, and I would roll my eyes and shut my door so that I wouldn't have to listen to all of the nonsense. Then, I had kids. Now, I could be brought to tears just seeing a picture of someone's newborn. I just LOVE kids and being a mom, and I never thought I would be this way, but very unapologetically, I am.

Greatest joy in my life is seeing my 21 month old run up to his big sister and give her a big hug when she gets home from school.

 

[Dancing Fire]

I have four kids under 7, soon to be five. It's hard and a LOT of work/chaos, but no regrets. Those little munchkins are my world.

You and your DH have been very busy!..

 

[Laila619]

Thanks guys! The 5th baby was a completely unplanned surprise, but we are excited nonetheless.

I suspect most parents, once they have kids, couldn't ever imagine their life without them. They have a way of stealing your heart.

 

[YadaYadaYada]

Just wanted to say thank you for the encouraging words ladies. I'm convinced my second son is karma for the handful I was with my own mother lol! I gave her a serious run for her money.

 

[monarch64]

I have no regrets. I would've had more than one but my stbx veto'd. In the first few months after having my daughter, I wanted 10 more! Those hormones are insane--I was fortunate to have a post-partum high rather than ppd, because I cannot even imagine what the opposite of my reaction would have felt like. It gave me a new understanding of what some women go through.