ruby59
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Feb 5, 2004
- Messages
- 3,553
Re: Women Who Don't Have Kids: Are You OK With It? Any Regre
Thank you for bringing this up, Violet.
My SIL has anti sperm antibodies and was unable to have children.
It devastated her especially around kid family holidays, like Christmas and Easter. She avoided going to malls and certain stores and restaurants because of it.
She has now come to terms with it but will truly never get over the fact that she wanted children very badly but could not have them.
She also suffered from comments like you are too uptight, and if you only relaxed, you would get pregnant.
violet3|1487440628|4130517 said:december-fire|1487436403|4130489 said:It saddens me to think that a person doesn't feel he/she is enough without a child or spouse.
Each person is whole and complete on their own. There isn't 'something wrong' with a person who doesn't have a child or spouse.
There are so many different reasons why a person may or may not have children, and may or may not have a spouse.
In the thread asking those with children if they have regrets, I don't think anyone will post that they are a parent and regret it.
I have children and love them more than I can express.
However, without getting into specifics, its safe to say I know of parents who regret having a child.
I included having or not having a spouse because it seems there can be views, expectations, and opinions about that as well. We don't all have to reproduce or live under the same roof as someone else. External pressure, or what we perceive as external pressure, should not dictate our self-image or sense of worth.
I mean this with the utmost respect, December Fire - I think it's easy to say "You should feel like you're enough without a child or spouse," when you have been able to have children. It's impossible for you to understand how it feels to be childless, so it's unfair to make such a statement. For the record, I'm happy for you (and anyone in my life also) that you have kids and have been able to have that experience.
People often say things like "not everyone is meant to be a mother." And clearly I wasn't meant to be one, or I would have been able. But every time someone says this, it stings and causes me pain. And it's almost always someone who HAS children who says this to me, which hurts a little extra, because they TRULY cannot understand how it feels to be childless and sad about it.
Thank you for bringing this up, Violet.
My SIL has anti sperm antibodies and was unable to have children.
It devastated her especially around kid family holidays, like Christmas and Easter. She avoided going to malls and certain stores and restaurants because of it.
She has now come to terms with it but will truly never get over the fact that she wanted children very badly but could not have them.
She also suffered from comments like you are too uptight, and if you only relaxed, you would get pregnant.