There''s a squirrel peeing on my doormat !
- Thread starter Ellen
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Bruddah, I am sobbing over here!!Date: 9/13/2008 6:15:10 PM
Author: LostSapphire
If she does #5, she''sl gonna get a LOT more of #4 (subection ''poo'').Date: 9/13/2008 4:54:07 PM
Author: Maisie
I think you should arrange a face to face meeting with the squirrel. Arrange to meet in a neutral place. Offer him your terms.
1. He should immediately and without reserve withdraw himself and his bladder from your doorstep.
2. He should rally a group of his fellow squirrels and come over to clean said doorstep.
3. At no time in the future should he look at, approach or indeed attempt to step onto said doorstep. If he does he accepts the consequences outlined in #4.
4. ANY attempt of Mr Squirrel to wee, poo or flatulate on said doorstep will result in immediate and perilous consequences... including (but not restricted to) smacking, slapping, bopping, kicking, chasing and general arm waving and gnashing of teeth.
5. In return for the cooperation of Mr Squirrel, Ms Ellen will agree to provide nuts on a regular basis. She shall offer table scraps, chocolate, magazines, country outings and cigars. He will have full and un-restricted access to the car or any other such vehicle that he should choose. Ms Ellen must act as chauffeur to him and he is allowed to hang out of the windows and wolf whistle to attractive female squirrels.
If he accepts these terms you should both sign an agreement with an attorny present.
There you go, problem solved. I really don''t understand why you didn''t think of this to begin with!
I believe this agreement needs a revision to allow for the aforesaid contingencies....
LS
p.s I''m still looking for a pic of a squirrell peeing
Maisie
Super_Ideal_Rock
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Date: 9/14/2008 7:31:14 AM
Author: Lorelei
Bruddah, I am sobbing over here!!Date: 9/13/2008 6:15:10 PM
Author: LostSapphire
If she does #5, she''sl gonna get a LOT more of #4 (subection ''poo'').Date: 9/13/2008 4:54:07 PM
Author: Maisie
I think you should arrange a face to face meeting with the squirrel. Arrange to meet in a neutral place. Offer him your terms.
1. He should immediately and without reserve withdraw himself and his bladder from your doorstep.
2. He should rally a group of his fellow squirrels and come over to clean said doorstep.
3. At no time in the future should he look at, approach or indeed attempt to step onto said doorstep. If he does he accepts the consequences outlined in #4.
4. ANY attempt of Mr Squirrel to wee, poo or flatulate on said doorstep will result in immediate and perilous consequences... including (but not restricted to) smacking, slapping, bopping, kicking, chasing and general arm waving and gnashing of teeth.
5. In return for the cooperation of Mr Squirrel, Ms Ellen will agree to provide nuts on a regular basis. She shall offer table scraps, chocolate, magazines, country outings and cigars. He will have full and un-restricted access to the car or any other such vehicle that he should choose. Ms Ellen must act as chauffeur to him and he is allowed to hang out of the windows and wolf whistle to attractive female squirrels.
If he accepts these terms you should both sign an agreement with an attorny present.
There you go, problem solved. I really don''t understand why you didn''t think of this to begin with!
I believe this agreement needs a revision to allow for the aforesaid contingencies....
LS
p.s I''m still looking for a pic of a squirrell peeing
Ellen
Super_Ideal_Rock
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Thank you all, you funny people! So much fun to wake up to.
MINIMS, thank you! Glad you're enoying it.
Gypsy, what a lovely compliment. Thank you very much miss!
I've had to call off stalking the squirrel, we're getting rain and wind from Ike, so the picture's been put on hold. But I'm not giving up, it has become a challenge.
Holly, it's the darndest thing, many of my threads turn to booze....
Irishgrrrl, thanks for the pants!!
Maise! You about made me inhale my breakfast.
Hilarious post woman.
And I think that could work, however, I draw the line at cigars.
(love the pic!)
joflier, lol. I was waiting to see if anybody got it.
And I also have to draw the line at marking my own territory!
DD, that pic is hilarious.
Kaleigh, thanks. And nice pun.
aj!
Actually, I've seen that pic before, but it never fails to make me do this ---->
I could break out in song here, but, I'll refrain....
btw, is it too early for a drink?
MINIMS, thank you! Glad you're enoying it.
Gypsy, what a lovely compliment. Thank you very much miss!
I've had to call off stalking the squirrel, we're getting rain and wind from Ike, so the picture's been put on hold. But I'm not giving up, it has become a challenge.
Holly, it's the darndest thing, many of my threads turn to booze....
Irishgrrrl, thanks for the pants!!
Maise! You about made me inhale my breakfast.
joflier, lol. I was waiting to see if anybody got it.
DD, that pic is hilarious.
Kaleigh, thanks. And nice pun.
aj!
btw, is it too early for a drink?
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OH, THE HORROR!!!!!
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Hee hee hee hee hee!!!!!Date: 9/14/2008 3:05:59 PM
Author:
can''t get it to post, can only attach..
AdiS
Brilliant_Rock
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Shame on you guys for making me laugh so hard that one of my colleagues came into my office to ask me what''s wrong. And we was really worried. The best I could manage was something like "Oh these pals at the legal department gotta be joking. This contract sucks!"
Ellen, sorry about your doormat!
Ok, back to work now...
Ellen, sorry about your doormat!
Ok, back to work now...
arjunajane
Ideal_Rock
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Oh my, I'm really digging this thread - Harriet, peeing on our Diamonds??! Oh, the horror !
, thats is the best emotie - you Must add it to the thread with all the other ones ! https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/emoticons-for-us.93667/
El, glad you got a giggle out of the emotie..
perhaps this is your friend - at least we know now why he needs to go all the time
, thats is the best emotie - you Must add it to the thread with all the other ones ! https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/emoticons-for-us.93667/El, glad you got a giggle out of the emotie..
perhaps this is your friend - at least we know now why he needs to go all the time
Lauren8211
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I live in Ann Arbor MI. I go to EMU, and I Am SCARED of the squirrels there. They come way to close for comfort. I have to change my path just to avoid them. I''m scared they''ll steal my stuff!
Lauren8211
Super_Ideal_Rock
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I didn''t think squirrels hibernated at all.
Maybe I''ve just been in Ann Arbor too long to remember.
Off to google hibernating squirrels...
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Hee hee heeeeeee!!! Ellen, I''m LOVING the Scaredy Squirrel!!! I think the threat of a visit from the Supa Grannies scared him off!
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