Sleeping Beauty - I CANNOT believe some Peeps!

[Lilac]

Date: 6/3/2010 2:42:53 PM
Author: Amethyste

Date: 6/3/2010 2:30:44 PM

Author: kenny

I think of tips as being for employees who are underpaid by their employers, and if you expect tips I hope you do not wear Lemony when you work.

I think wearing that beautiful 5+carat diamond would reduce your tips.

oh I see - that''s what the problem is!!! Since I own a nice ring (and SAVED MY WHOLE LIFE FOR IT), I don''t deserve to be tipped based on me performing a good job and service - in an industry that is normally a set standard?!

Having my ring has nothing to do with this. That''s a displaced thing to say!

And no, I don''t wear my ring when I clean and handle chemicals - doing nails is handling chemicals and it''s off.

I''m pretty sure kenny was just saying people might see the ring and make assumptions that you might not need the tips. People sometimes see huge diamonds and assume the people wearing them are well-off. I don''t think kenny ever said you didn''t *deserve* the tips.

You seem overly defensive even when people are just trying to help you.

 

[kenny]

Date: 6/3/2010 2:42:53 PM
Author: Amethyste

Date: 6/3/2010 2:30:44 PM
Author: kenny
I think of tips as being for employees who are underpaid by their employers, and if you expect tips I hope you do not wear Lemony when you work.
I think wearing that beautiful 5+carat diamond would reduce your tips.

oh I see - that's what the problem is!!! Since I own a nice ring (and SAVED MY WHOLE LIFE FOR IT), I don't deserve to be tipped based on me performing a good job and service - in an industry that is normally a set standard?!
Having my ring has nothing to do with this. That's a displaced thing to say!
And no, I don't wear my ring when I clean and handle chemicals - doing nails is handling chemicals and it's off.

I'm not saying that I think you do not deserve a tip because of the ring.
I'm saying that some customers may think that such a ring means you are doing very very well.
They aren't psychic so they have no way to know you worked hard for years to buy it.

The don't know whether your ring costs one month's income or 10 years income.
Their tipping decisions happen in the privacy of their own heads and are based on THEIR perceptions, which may be not accurate.

Once again, people are not the way we think they should be.
They are the way they are.

We can accept this and adjust to it to improve the outcome in our favor, or we can go around angry and resentful.
I try to do the former.
I wear a larger diamond that is an absurdly large percentage of a year's income for me.
I remove it when I work for my customers since I'm in a field where impressions are important and often based on things that should not matter.
What should be and what is are two VERY different things.

 

[Amethyste]

Date: 6/3/2010 2:47:22 PM
Author: Lilac

Date: 6/3/2010 2:42:53 PM
Author: Amethyste

Date: 6/3/2010 2:30:44 PM

Author: kenny

I think of tips as being for employees who are underpaid by their employers, and if you expect tips I hope you do not wear Lemony when you work.

I think wearing that beautiful 5+carat diamond would reduce your tips.

oh I see - that''s what the problem is!!! Since I own a nice ring (and SAVED MY WHOLE LIFE FOR IT), I don''t deserve to be tipped based on me performing a good job and service - in an industry that is normally a set standard?!

Having my ring has nothing to do with this. That''s a displaced thing to say!

And no, I don''t wear my ring when I clean and handle chemicals - doing nails is handling chemicals and it''s off.

I''m pretty sure kenny was just saying people might see the ring and make assumptions that you might not need the tips. People sometimes see huge diamonds and assume the people wearing them are well-off. I don''t think kenny ever said you didn''t *deserve* the tips.

You seem overly defensive even when people are just trying to help you.

The way I read this is I am not an underpaid employee since I own a nice ring - having your own business is not all that profitable - and yes, in some ways, i do rely on my tips to offset my supply costs etc. Even waitressing is not really regarded as an underpaid position - as I know many that make really nice living doing that, and in that industry, people tip them without hesitation. Yes, I got defensive cause that statement didn''t sound right and that is how I read into it.

 

[honey22]

Date: 6/3/2010 7:20:38 AM
Author: Amethyste

Date: 6/3/2010 3:34:54 AM

Author: honey22

I find it hard to believe that you are very proud of your work if you sneakily gave her acrylics instead of gels, boasted about it on the internet and then posted a picture of your client without her permission! Instead of telling her in a few words that she needed to wake up in order for you to complete your service, you instead gave her a dodgy job and then came here to grizzle?!



In my book that''s totally unprofessional. And you are mad that you didn''t get a tip? You didn''t deserve one, sorry.



I accidently fell asleep having a deluxe mani/hand massage right before my wedding. I paid $100 for the service and I was flat out exhausted and stressed and when I got there, I didn''t even realise I was sleepy unti she woke me up to tell me that the french manicure looked terrible as I had fell asleep. You are the professional for crying out loud, why on earth didn''t you wake me up 10 mins ago to tell me that I was stuffing up the polish?!?!

I guess you didn''t read above posts that we do mix and match acrylics and gels depending on what shes does, she never really has all gels or all acrylics... I started with gels but when she started to fall asleep, i did acrylics ( actually it is a powder/resin system by Backscratchers - not the liquid and powder as you usually find in normal salons ) to make sure I could handle the hand navigation without having to misdirect her hands into the machine and scrape products making a mess all over the place and over her fingers


Maybe your tech didnt wake you cause she might have been stunned as well that you fell asleep and tried to accommodate you and did her best on your hand while you were taking a nap.

I read all your posts actually and all the responses on this thread. If it''s so normal and not a problem to mix and match, why did you feel the need to gloat that you gave her a hand of acrylics anyway? If there is nothing out of the ordinary with that why feel the need to mention it?

Maybe she was stunned but who in their right mind would continue giving a second rate service if the client is unaware that she isn''t cooperating or causing problems for the tech? She actually put a hot towel over my eyes, burned calming oils and told me to lie back and relax. Does she really expect that people are going to stay awake in this case? Why not tell people as they are trying to make them so warm and fuzzy that falling asleep in going to cause a problem, then I would certainly have stayed awake.

 

[honey22]

Date: 6/3/2010 8:00:54 AM
Author: Amethyste
I''d expect my nails to look nice - yes... just as much as we hope the clients to be awake to help us to achieve that.


The brides I did nails on never fell asleep, they were so nervous that it kept them up and going for days before they got married.

Well, I was totally 100% sure and confident that I was marrying the right man, so I wasn''t nervous in the slightest

 

[Circe]

I find this to be a really interesting thread in terms of what it reveals about our collective assumptions ....

On the one hand, I''m sort of getting a "customer is always right" vibe off of a lot of the comments. But, come on, people! Members of the service industry aren''t body-slaves. They''re fellow human beings with whom one is interacting. Yes, you''re paying for a service, but that doesn''t mean that you get to be a rude a$$ while receiving it (and, dude, if it''s rude to yawn without covering your mouth in conversation, it is *definitely* rude to doze!). Accidentally falling asleep is one thing ... asking for a pillow and expecting to be maneuvered is another.

That said, if the lady is in her 70s ... I sort of feel like she deserves to be cut some slack. And that posting people''s photos on the internet without permission is never okay.

Ames, I''m sorry you had a bad day at work. But if this is a source of frustration for you, I would join the chorus of voices saying that you need to raise your prices/be proactive about setting your ground-rules just to avoid future frustration ....

 

[Circe]

Date: 6/3/2010 6:09:55 PM
Author: honey22

Date: 6/3/2010 8:00:54 AM

Author: Amethyste

I''d expect my nails to look nice - yes... just as much as we hope the clients to be awake to help us to achieve that.



The brides I did nails on never fell asleep, they were so nervous that it kept them up and going for days before they got married.

Well, I was totally 100% sure and confident that I was marrying the right man, so I wasn''t nervous in the slightest

Well played, sir.

 

[lyra]

Date: 6/3/2010 6:23:54 PM
Author: Circe
I find this to be a really interesting thread in terms of what it reveals about our collective assumptions ....

On the one hand, I''m sort of getting a ''customer is always right'' vibe off of a lot of the comments. But, come on, people! Members of the service industry aren''t body-slaves. They''re fellow human beings with whom one is interacting. Yes, you''re paying for a service, but that doesn''t mean that you get to be a rude a$$ while receiving it (and, dude, if it''s rude to yawn without covering your mouth in conversation, it is *definitely* rude to doze!). Accidentally falling asleep is one thing ... asking for a pillow and expecting to be maneuvered is another.

That said, if the lady is in her 70s ... I sort of feel like she deserves to be cut some slack. And that posting people''s photos on the internet without permission is never okay.

Ames, I''m sorry you had a bad day at work. But if this is a source of frustration for you, I would join the chorus of voices saying that you need to raise your prices/be proactive about setting your ground-rules just to avoid future frustration ....

I agree with Circe.

I''m kind of stunned at some of the statements that have been made here. Maybe it''s just a matter of not being able to discern a person''s "tone", I don''t know. Of course you deserved a tip. Maybe she''s getting miserly, or forgot or didn''t have change, or who knows. Yes, it was rude of her to fall asleep, although perhaps at her age it''s something she is prone to doing all the time? I would ask her not to do that next time, or take her off your client list perhaps. Your prices are partly based on knowing the amount of time you''re going to need to complete a job, and if she''s taking up a lot more of your time, you''re actually losing money with her.

 

[Lisa Loves Shiny]

Wow. I must admit I am shocked. She is in her 70''s and people over 65 are more physically fragile then those under 65. They fatique easier, sleep less, experience sleep interupted by periods of wakefullness. It is because the body does not produce Melatonin as it did when younger. Also studies show that there is far less REM sleep in people over 65. Add warm towels,inactivity and it is a perfect environment for an elderly person to feel sleepy and fall asleep.

For her to put her trust in you as she has in years, and for you to have a bad day, mock her and post her pics is unkind to say the least. Unprofessional and a huge breech of trust. And the hands with different treatments...... Do other nail techs do that? I am sorry but you have complained in other threads about unlicensed professionals having access to products that you feel should be available only to licensed professionals. Do you think that this is the way a licensed professional acts? Even when having a bad day and needing to vent? This whole thread just shocks me. And for those who think it is okay then hope you don''t mind if someone you trust posts pics of your elderly mother on the internet, makes sport of her, and gets paid by your mom too. I hope you never treat your clients or anyone else like that again. And if you do....please make sure they are awake so that they can at least respond to what you are doing.

 

[Amethyste]

Date: 6/3/2010 6:07:33 PM



I read all your posts actually and all the responses on this thread. If it''s so normal and not a problem to mix and match, why did you feel the need to gloat that you gave her a hand of acrylics anyway? If there is nothing out of the ordinary with that why feel the need to mention it?


Maybe she was stunned but who in their right mind would continue giving a second rate service if the client is unaware that she isn''t cooperating or causing problems for the tech? She actually put a hot towel over my eyes, burned calming oils and told me to lie back and relax. Does she really expect that people are going to stay awake in this case? Why not tell people as they are trying to make them so warm and fuzzy that falling asleep in going to cause a problem, then I would certainly have stayed awake.

I would have LOVED to be able to do most of her fingers with gel ( minus 1 or 2 fingers I usually do the resin on ) but since her hands were totally limp and trying to slide the hand in a small UV light opening, I had to switch to the resin cause I wasn''t able to do the other hand with gel without risking bumping them while trying to aim in sliding them in the machine. I also had a schedule to stick to - as my other client lives 35-40 mins away, i couldn''t even call her to tell her I might be late cause she was already on the road at that time. I mentioned it cause that''s what I did. Why lie about it? Normally, tech do not mix and match processes. In her case, that''s what works best for her nails and need.

 

[Amethyste]

Date: 6/3/2010 6:36:03 PM
Author: lyra
I agree with Circe.

I'm kind of stunned at some of the statements that have been made here. Maybe it's just a matter of not being able to discern a person's 'tone', I don't know. Of course you deserved a tip. Maybe she's getting miserly, or forgot or didn't have change, or who knows. Yes, it was rude of her to fall asleep, although perhaps at her age it's something she is prone to doing all the time? I would ask her not to do that next time, or take her off your client list perhaps. Your prices are partly based on knowing the amount of time you're going to need to complete a job, and if she's taking up a lot more of your time, you're actually losing money with her.

I am a bit surprised myself at how rapidly people here ticketed me with being shady, dishonest, high horse attitude, entitled and cruel for not giving her what she paid for, and if it was them, they wouldn't tip me either. I do get the picture upset, even though the picture was blurry, grainy showing ONE blue hand and the top of a head of hair, no facial features. To me, it wasn't revealing at person at all, but to others - it was terrible. Of course, if I posted that same picture and said " Look how cute my client is sleeping while I am doing her nails", people wouldn't have jumped on the fact that I posted her picture without her knowing it because it would have been in a positive light rather than negative. I was just trying to show that rendering a service while someone is sleeping like that is really hard. I was upset inside and wanted to vent - but then again, some other board members do vent and all goes well while some others do, and it's throat jumping time. I understand that people on PS do speak their mind, but I have to say, some of the posts were very accusing.

Aside posting the non-revealing picture, I think I did more than a normal tech would ever do for a client. I have given a lot of care and attention to this woman over the years and to have her falling asleep on me annoyed me. I took it personnal, while other might have not. Sorry I vented out a very frustrating day, but from most of the replies here, I don't think most people could understand how I felt at that very time. I was schocked, couldn't really find a second exit, I had to do her nails. I did the best I could in the situation I was thrown in. Instead of being upset while doing her nails, I tried to focus my energy and attention on what I was doing so I could give the best I could, for what she paid for, the fact she couldn't reschedule and I had to be on time and her husband was coming to pick her up as well. I was really stressed out by the whole episode that I wrote this post to vent and get my frustration out.

I am not perfect, I never claimed I was. But in this case, in my eyes ( the service renderer ) it was not the best scenario for her to fall asleep while trying to do a service when she fully knows that it would cause hardship for me to get the job done right. I did write her and we are figuring out a new schedule - and she did appologize for falling asleep and is sorry for putting me in this situation.

 

[lilyfoot]

Amethyste, I read this thread earlier today, but decided not to post my initial reactions (which were, what is the big deal, etc). What I really wanted to say though, is that I think this is one of those industry-specific issues that nobody can understand unless they work in your same industry, KWIM?

The things you are venting about don''t seem to be a big deal to me at all, but if I was venting to you about my job as a legal assistant, I bet you''d be thinking the same thing (what''s the big deal).

So, regardless of the fact that I can''t fully understand what you''re upset about, I wanted to say that I''m sorry you had a bad visit with a client. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you

 

[Hera]

"I am not going to bust my butt in 1/2 to do all I can so she can rest while I am working!"



I have enclosed a snip from your first posting so that you can see what you wrote. There's not that many ways to take that and It's not a far stretch to see why some people find it's flavor entitled.

When you took the older (obviously very sleepy) woman's sleeping picture without her permission and posted it on a online forum can be seen as cruel.

When you gave the woman nails different from what she asked and didn't ask her ahead of time (and who know if she knows today if one hand is acrylic). That can be seen as dishonest.

Also dishonest is skewing the idea that you give her the nails that she needs. I just can't buy that you did one set of nails in gel and the other in acrylic because she needed it. Actually, she didn't need that, what she needed was for you to wake her up and tell her that you cannot continue with her asleep.

It's that failure to acknowledge your part in this and your continuous blaming of the client that rubs me the right way. This isn't about the customer is always right, this is about informing the customer of what their part is in the process.

Anyways, I'm sorry if you take this posting harshly. I understand that everyone has a bad day. Hopefully, you can put this to rest and understand that many aren't going to take your side on this issue. We can't win them all.

 

[Amethyste]

Date: 6/3/2010 10:37:46 PM
Author: heraanderson
''I am not going to bust my butt in 1/2 to do all I can so she can rest while I am working!''





I have enclosed a snip from your first posting so that you can see what you wrote. There''s not that many ways to take that and It''s not a far stretch to see why some people find it''s flavor entitled.

I was frustrated and wrote this while upset. I know it didn''t sound quite nice.


When you took the older (obviously very sleepy) woman''s sleeping picture without her permission and posted it on a online forum can be seen as cruel.

I didn''t think it was going to be a big deal - no facial features were showing - a blue hand in a blurry and grainy picture. Could be anyone really. sorry if I upset people, but I bet that if I posted this same very picture with a positive color to the thread, no one would have probably thought it was cruel to do so.


When you gave the woman nails different from what she asked and didn''t ask her ahead of time (and who know if she knows today if one hand is acrylic). That can be seen as dishonest.

I understand it can be seen as dishonest and that I am shady. She never asks for anything in particular, I do what needs to be done, i go gels when she wants a french or a light color and I do acrylics when she wants them longer or has been hard on her nails in the last 2 weeks and it shows more wear than usual - all she really wants is that her nails look nice. She is less concerned of the "how I get there".


Also dishonest is skewing the idea that you give her the nails that she needs. I just can''t buy that you did one set of nails in gel and the other in acrylic because she needed it. Actually, she didn''t need that, what she needed was for you to wake her up and tell her that you cannot continue with her asleep.

I understand that - but in the situation I was in, and she needed to have nice nails for her recital, the only way I could finish the job was to do the other hands with the Resin. I started on the left hand with gels, but as I went along, I quickly saw that it would have been disastrous if I kept going... so when I was finished with the left hand, I did the other process on the other hand to make sure it would look nice in the end.


It''s that failure to acknowledge your part in this and your continuous blaming of the client that rubs me the right way. This isn''t about the customer is always right, this is about informing the customer of what their part is in the process.

I should have voiced what I had on my mind - That is true. I need to learn how to make sense right away instead of letting the feelings and thoughts process inside. I was caught off guard, and really, I didn''t know how to go about it. I shall try to do better next time expressing how I feel while making sense and to do it kindly.


Anyways, I''m sorry if you take this posting harshly. I understand that everyone has a bad day. Hopefully, you can put this to rest and understand that many aren''t going to take your side on this issue. We can''t win them all.

I never wanted to win it all, i just wanted to vent my frustration out, like many others do on here. I will certainly be re-thinking that for sure... Thanks for replying

 

[Irishgrrrl]

Ammy, I''m sorry you had to deal with this. I''ve read the entire thread, and I think some responses were unnecessarily harsh. I think your client was very disrespectful, and I think you had every right to be upset. I didn''t see the picture because it had been removed by the time I found this thread, so I can''t really comment on that.

Hindsight is always 20/20, so it''s very easy for people to "Monday morning quarterback" after hearing this story. None of us were there at the time, so I don''t think it''s fair to be so judgmental toward you. I know you always try to give your clients the best possible service, and your prices are MORE than reasonable. I don''t think you were being unethical by using acrylics for one hand instead of gels, especially since you had used BOTH on your client in the past and she had always been satisfied with this before. It''s not like you were doing something new and different. With your client sleeping, you were limited as to what you could do and you were just trying to accommodate her as best you could under the circumstances.

I''m glad to hear that you and your client have communicated about this problem, and that you''ve come up with a solution. And I''m glad she apologized to you! ((((HUGS))))

 

[niccia]

Wow... I can understand having a bad day. I''ve worked in ther service industry and know how some people can be, but while it was poor judgement to not give her the service she had specifically asked for, what really shocked me was the fact that you took her picture and posted about it on here! Sorry, I just can''t believe any professional would even think about doing something like that and I hope you now realize how inappropriate that was too.

 

[Laila619]

Date: 6/3/2010 3:34:54 AM
Author: honey22
I find it hard to believe that you are very proud of your work if you sneakily gave her acrylics instead of gels, boasted about it on the internet and then posted a picture of your client without her permission! Instead of telling her in a few words that she needed to wake up in order for you to complete your service, you instead gave her a dodgy job and then came here to grizzle?!

In my book that''s totally unprofessional. And you are mad that you didn''t get a tip? You didn''t deserve one, sorry.

I accidently fell asleep having a deluxe mani/hand massage right before my wedding. I paid $100 for the service and I was flat out exhausted and stressed and when I got there, I didn''t even realise I was sleepy unti she woke me up to tell me that the french manicure looked terrible as I had fell asleep. You are the professional for crying out loud, why on earth didn''t you wake me up 10 mins ago to tell me that I was stuffing up the polish?!?!

The manicurist is NOT a client babysitter. It''s not her job to do this.

 

[Miss Sparkly]

After reading through the entire thread I have to agree with Kenny. If I saw a nail tech with Lemony in my area I would only assume that this person was very well off and was only doing nails for fun. However, if I visit my aunt in Cali. and saw Lemony, I would think nothing of it. Depending on your demographics Lemony could give a false impression of wealth and subconsciously cause the client not to tip as well. Kenny wasn''t trying to attack Lemony, he was just noting a pure fact of human behaviour. My first thought as to your client is that she could be battling some type of cancer - at her age it is very likely. Hopefully switching time slots will help her out.

 

[AGBF]

Date: 6/2/2010 11:07:46 PM
Author: IndyLady


When I go to the doctor''s office, he''s offering me a service and I''m paying him with my money, and I treat him with respect as well.

(snippage)

It sounds like Amethyste''s job was made harder than it needed to be because this client wanted to sleep.

Too bad Amethyste isn''t a psychoanalyst. He doesn''t care if the patient (analysand) falls asleep and he doesn''t find it disrespectful. (Well...he may, secretly, have a little counter-transference about it.) He gets to interpret it as resistance and use it in the next session (thereby putting the sleeping episode to use) and he gets paid for the sleeping session while having been able to read his novel! (I know! I know! Amethyste couldn''t read a novel. That''s why I said it was too bad she wasn''t a psychoanalyst!)

Deb/AGBF

 

[lyra]

Hey now, everyone just step away from Lemony, slowly... Seriously. I sometimes wonder if the negative comments Amethyste gets in some of her threads aren''t based on jealousy over Lemony. Maybe I''m wrong, but there are weird perceptions going on about it here at least. Lemony is not part of this equation, and Amethyste has said she doesn''t even wear it to do nails because of the chemicals. I also think it''s silly to think that someone does not deserve a tip because they have expensive jewellery. I see the salon owner when I get my hair done. He charges more than everyone else, therefore I tip him even *more* than I would tip one of the other stylists. It''s a matter of respect. I go to him knowing my expectations will always be met. He has more money than I do, a nicer house in a nicer area, a nicer car and his wife has expensive jewellery. It''s just simple etiquette IMO. As for the gel on one hand acrylic on the other, she had no choice. She couldn''t do gel on a lifeless hand, end of story. Wackiness ensued, it was a bad day, she vented.

 

[kenny]

Date: 6/4/2010 11:16:36 AM
Author: lyra
I sometimes wonder if the negative comments Amethyste gets in some of her threads aren't based on jealousy over Lemony.

Good point Lyra.
That may be a factor, and may even be unconscious.

Everyone is human and that green monster gets around.

There have been a few threads I have started (not that I have a 5+ ct beauty) that became pile ons very quickly.
Some criticism of me was warranted but it was the magnitude of the pile on that surprised me.
But also I know some here dislike my bluntness so that could have also been behind the pile on.

 

[movie zombie]

i haven''t read this thread through but i think it was unprofessional to take a client''s picture w/o permission and to post it on the internet was unforgiveable.

mz

 

[Lula]

Date: 6/4/2010 11:16:36 AM
Author: lyra
Hey now, everyone just step away from Lemony, slowly... Seriously. I sometimes wonder if the negative comments Amethyste gets in some of her threads aren''t based on jealousy over Lemony. Maybe I''m wrong, but there are weird perceptions going on about it here at least.

Good point. I have wondered about this, too.

 

[Amethyste]

Date: 6/4/2010 11:16:36 AM
Author: lyra
Hey now, everyone just step away from Lemony, slowly... Seriously. I sometimes wonder if the negative comments Amethyste gets in some of her threads aren''t based on jealousy over Lemony. Maybe I''m wrong, but there are weird perceptions going on about it here at least. Lemony is not part of this equation, and Amethyste has said she doesn''t even wear it to do nails because of the chemicals. I also think it''s silly to think that someone does not deserve a tip because they have expensive jewellery. I see the salon owner when I get my hair done. He charges more than everyone else, therefore I tip him even *more* than I would tip one of the other stylists. It''s a matter of respect. I go to him knowing my expectations will always be met. He has more money than I do, a nicer house in a nicer area, a nicer car and his wife has expensive jewellery. It''s just simple etiquette IMO. As for the gel on one hand acrylic on the other, she had no choice. She couldn''t do gel on a lifeless hand, end of story. Wackiness ensued, it was a bad day, she vented.

Lyra -

I have been thinking that for a long while, but never wanted to mention this my own self. Glad to know that I am not the only one that felt like that... Thanks for the courage to post this!

 

[Amethyste]

Date: 6/4/2010 11:49:32 AM
Author: movie zombie
i haven't read this thread through but i think it was unprofessional to take a client's picture w/o permission and to post it on the internet was unforgiveable.

mz

the picture didn't show ANY facial features - was totally blurry and grainy - showed nothing revealing of that person in question. top of a head and a blue hand in the uv machine. IIIIIIIII didn't think it violated her identity at all. could be anyone laying there that has brown hair.

What *IF* I posted that same picture with a thread titled "Look how cute my client is!"? No one would have probably said it was unprofessional to do that ( without her consent or knowledge ) cause the thread would have been a fun and happy one!

 

[tigian]

Yikes! This thread has some pretty harsh things said to Ame. I just took your post as a vent and wasn''t particularly offended by anything you said. Even posting the lady sleeping didn''t seem too offensive since it was just the top of her head though I do understand how it may seem way inappropriate. I think it is a shame that you feel that you have to monitor everything you say...I always appreciate hearing other opinions and perspectives when I am worked up about something, but I would also be hesitant if people spoke this way to me. I think your explanation to some of the criticism just shows that you were having a bad evening and needed to vent. I hope this thread doesn''t scare you away, Amethyste.

 

[VRBeauty]

I''m glad you and your client have "chatted" and worked things out. I hope it leads to better communications in the future.

 

[Bunny007]

Date: 6/4/2010 12:03:45 PM
Author: Amethyste

Date: 6/4/2010 11:49:32 AM
Author: movie zombie
i haven''t read this thread through but i think it was unprofessional to take a client''s picture w/o permission and to post it on the internet was unforgiveable.

mz

the picture didn''t show ANY facial features - was totally blurry and grainy - showed nothing revealing of that person in question. top of a head and a blue hand in the uv machine. IIIIIIIII didn''t think it violated her identity at all. could be anyone laying there that has brown hair.

What *IF* I posted that same picture with a thread titled ''Look how cute my client is!''? No one would have probably said it was unprofessional to do that cause the thread would have been a fun and happy one!

Probably not! But the reality is that you didn''t say," Look how cute my client is!." You said, "Look this is my client [insert negative comments]." The context makes all the difference in the world. I personally wouldn''t mind if people posted wonderful positive comments about me on the internet (please, feel free

). I don''t think most people would mind.

I get that you had a bad day, that you were frustrated and venting. I don''t think you cheated her in any way and I''m surprised that she didn''t tip, since she usually does. But on the other hand, she''s an older client, who was clearly tired, maybe didn''t feel well, was probably groggy when she left, and normally tips you. For those reasons, I''d give her the benefit of the doubt and be really straightforward with her in the future.

 

[Amethyste]

Date: 6/4/2010 12:13:10 PM
Author: tigian
Yikes! This thread has some pretty harsh things said to Ame. I just took your post as a vent and wasn''t particularly offended by anything you said. Even posting the lady sleeping didn''t seem too offensive since it was just the top of her head though I do understand how it may seem way inappropriate. I think it is a shame that you feel that you have to monitor everything you say...I always appreciate hearing other opinions and perspectives when I am worked up about something, but I would also be hesitant if people spoke this way to me. I think your explanation to some of the criticism just shows that you were having a bad evening and needed to vent. I hope this thread doesn''t scare you away, Amethyste.

Thank you Tigian -
I don''t really want to post much actually anymore on this forum, especially after this thread. I just wanted to vent and then turned out to be even more stressful, and actually quite hurtful, to read that most of you think of me because of what I went through on that one evening. But oh well, I shouldn''t have posted in the first place. It would have avoided a lot of this negativity. Perhaps, a lot of people might have not been this harsh toward me if they wouldn''t know I have a nice ring? It''s just a lot of mixed feeling ... But it was my fault to post this thread from the get go. I will know better in the future.

THank you for caring, Tigian.

 

[kenny]

Ame, sorry you felt hurt by this thread.

I've been on various Internet fora for 12 years now.
I've gotten some feedback which, though hurtful to hear at the time, has been beneficial in the long run.

Any time you put yourself out there you are going to get feedback, welcome and unwelcome.
Our rough spots get worn down by coming in contact with others.

I'm not saying you are wrong and others are right.
Even if you disagree with the opinions offered at least you do get to find out what others think.
Sometimes it is surprising that what is obvious to me is not obvious to many others, or what makes sense to me does not make sense to others.
I do not conform to majority opinion, but it is useful to know when my perspective is not shared by all.
It just all goes into the meat grinder and the mix gets better every day, AFAIC.

Kudos to you for speaking your mind.
Also kudos to others who gave you their heartfelt feedback.
We all learned something.

People disagree on stuff; no biggie.

Hope you stick around in Hangout.
I for one would hate to lose your input.