Random Question...is this tradition just regional?

[Pandora II]

Never heard of it here.

However I have noticed that even in London which has mad traffic people are more courteous with funerals - would only apply to the hearse and the car behind or those that look like funeral cars. With our traffic system I don't think it would be possible to have a whole procession of cars - far too many red lights.

 

[steph72276]

I'm in Southern California and I've never even heard of the other side of traffic pulling over.

I wouldn't call people rude just because they have never even heard of something that is your expectation or a tradition in some other location.
People are not psychic about your expectations.

Expectations are tricky things.

When in Rome, do as the Romans do, or don't do.
Oh and since women (at least in California) are no longer considered inferior or weak I do not open doors for them.
They may see it an a sexist insult.

I DO open doors for, and offer my seat to, anyone who looks like they'd appreciate the help, male or female, young or old.

Kenny, if you read my entire post, I said my first thought was to think it was rude, but then I wondered if perhaps people weren't accustomed to the tradition, hence the question here. Geez, lighten up dude!

ETA: And I was just giving background on where I grew up and how things are done there. Where people hold the door open for each other (men and women) and don't see it as anything more than being polite! That's the good thing about this forum, we can come here and try to get an understanding of other places and how things are done, it's a lot better than asking a random stranger in the supermarket, ya know?

 

[hlmr]

I'm in Southern California and I've never even heard of the other side of traffic pulling over.

I wouldn't call people rude just because they have never even heard of something that is your expectation or a tradition in some other location.

People are not psychic about your expectations. This is rude.

Expectations are tricky things.

When in Rome, do as the Romans do, or don't do.

Oh and since women (at least in California) are no longer considered inferior or weak I do not open doors for them.
They may see it an a sexist insult. This is a sexist comment.

 

[steph72276]

Thanks hlmr.

 

[annadragon]

I, too, grew up in Florida but have never heard of this tradition of pulling over for a funeral procession. Also, Florida (depending on the area) is full of snowbirds and people who did not grow up there which I think has some effect on local traditions.

Where I grew up in Florida around the USF area I never considered it very "southern" and now that I live in what I consider a "southern" state I notice a huge difference in social interactions - such as guys opening doors, etc. I've had people just politely hold the door for me in the past but once I moved to Louisiana I noticed men made a point to open and hold doors for women. The first few times this happened to me, I was suspicious of their intentions I didn't think "aww, how nice" of a perfect stranger to make this obvious effort, I thought "wth is this weirdo doing?!". Now I just go with the flow.

Where I live now death is mourned and the bereaved given time to grieve but they throw a party -there's a second line. And in some way I find it comforting they celebrate their passed loved ones this way.

 

[hlmr]

You're welcome Steph. : ) I hope to make it to Georgia for a visit some day.

 

[packrat]

I hold doors open for everybody b/c it's nice. JD holds doors open too. It's just a courtesy I figure, and if a woman snarled at JD for being nice, I would hope he'd let the door go and slam in her face.

People not from here who don't know the "pull over" rule, will think we're daft and wonder what the heck is going on. That's fine, b/c they don't know. By the same token, we'll think they're rude for not pulling over, b/c *we* don't know they aren't familiar.

When I lived in AZ, my gramma told me "When you're driving, don't wave at people" I thought why the heck not? Iowans drive and lift their fingers off the wheel in a wave when we pass oncoming cars. Not always, but it's really common. People not from here drive by and go "What? Do I *know* her or something?" I had someone ask me down there "You're not from here are you?" I said no, Iowa, and she's like, "Yeah, I thought you were from the Midwest. You guys do that."

 

[hlmr]

I hold doors open for everybody b/c it's nice. JD holds doors open too. It's just a courtesy I figure, and if a woman snarled at JD for being nice, I would hope he'd let the door go and slam in her face.

It is a nice thing to do. It makes me feel good when I wait those extra seconds to hold the door for others. Especially when it is for someone who is surprised by it, like a teenager.

 

[April20]

We pulled over in TN and they pull over in GA. Didn't see it in WA state.

Have to ask though- do you pull over even if you're on the opposite side of the road? I will pull over if I'm in the same lane of traffic, but the opposite side kind of bugs me. There are several very prolific funeral homes surrounding my house and the processions are LONG. I'm talking 50 cars at time. I just cannot pull over on the opposite side from them or I'd never get anywhere. I typically see four or five funerals per weekend. I will say that as much as I think we should pay respect, it does bug the snot out of me that they will blantantly run red lights like they own the road with NO police escort. If there's a police escort to stop traffic, fine; but I have an issue with them ignoring traffic laws because they feel they are entitled.

 

[luv2sparkle]

I, too, am from California, and I think that would be an awesome sign of respect to the families. I wish that would happen here.
It seems like an easy kindness. It would be great if that was adopted all over, I think.

 

[Sha]

Where I live (in the Caribbean) traffic is usually diverted so the procession can travel smoothly along. It's usually not a big hassle - the roads are just two lanes (wide enough for a third vehicle, though), and traffic can easily be detoured.

 

[that_someone_special]

At my grandmothers funeral an idiot pulled into the line of cars and started weaving it's way in and out of them, honking. I think they turned off when they saw it was funeral. Jerks. Oh, also cracked my windshield that day.. on the way to the funeral... great... stinkin... day.

I WISH people would pull over to avoid stuff like that. How shallow and self absorbed to be weaving in and out of cars like that...

 

[MissMina]

This is so interesting to me
I was raised in Iowa (waving)
Lived in California many years (Not waving)
Now in South Carolina and waving again
I have often told people that
SC is like IA with better weather

 

[steph72276]

This is so interesting to me
I was raised in Iowa (waving)
Lived in California many years (Not waving)
Now in South Carolina and waving again
I have often told people that
SC is like IA with better weather

I think it's interesting too how much things vary from state to state. Like waving to strangers that drive through the neighborhood would be really odd where I am now, but not at all in some places. I never would have known holding the door open for people in California is offensive (according to Kenny) while not doing so would be rude in the places I've lived. And the pulling over for funeral thing...in some places you are holding up traffic, in others you are not showing respect, or in some cases not following the law. Very interesting for sure...

 

[ksinger]

In Oklahoma people always pull over for funerals. And doors are opened for women by men old and young. I see both as nothing more than courtesy.

 

[steph72276]

We pulled over in TN and they pull over in GA. Didn't see it in WA state.

Have to ask though- do you pull over even if you're on the opposite side of the road? I will pull over if I'm in the same lane of traffic, but the opposite side kind of bugs me. There are several very prolific funeral homes surrounding my house and the processions are LONG. I'm talking 50 cars at time. I just cannot pull over on the opposite side from them or I'd never get anywhere. I typically see four or five funerals per weekend. I will say that as much as I think we should pay respect, it does bug the snot out of me that they will blantantly run red lights like they own the road with NO police escort. If there's a police escort to stop traffic, fine; but I have an issue with them ignoring traffic laws because they feel they are entitled.

April, as far as pulling over on the opposite side, I think it varies from town to town. Where I grew up (25 minutes outside of Atlanta) we always did this. However, when I was growing up, my town was much much smaller. As I grew up, our area expanded rapidly and became somewhat of a suburban mecca after the 1996 Olympics and I noticed people doing this less and less. I haven't seen a procession there in a while since I only go to visit every few months or so, but I would think people would probably not do this as much. In the small town where my grandparents are from, I would think that people still pull over on the opposite side...it is a very small, tight-knit community and people do this as a way to show respect for the death of a community member.

 

[Astra]

Well, I only saw twice funerals on road and every time I pulled over, I could say it's an old tradition but not so common to see.... Oh yes, I'm from Croatia, Europe...

 

[Mara]

Umm I live in N.CA and people always hold the doors open for people here, whether old or young, male or female! Then again many people say N.CA and S.CA are very different.

And Steph I feel like a dodo because I didn't realize you'd moved!

 

[steph72276]

Mara, I was being a bit tongue in cheek about Kenny's comments about California. I know most rational people wouldn't get their panties in a wad over having the door opened for them and wouldn't see it as anything more than being polite.

Yep, we moved to Florida a few years ago. The particular area I'm in is very interesting in that is very transient. I have met so many friends here, but no one that was actually born and raised in FL, so it's a learning process to know what traditions are and aren't accepted here.

 

[dragonfly411]

I find that Florida varies with it's residents. Many of the smaller towns consist of people born and raised in FL, whereas West Palm, Miami, Orlando, Jacksonville all have people who aren't originally from here. Not many people aspire to move to Okeefinokee

 

[doodle]

I'm also in Georgia, and I always pull over. While I don't think it's required by law to do so, Georgia law is pretty specific about other laws regarding funeral processions. They always have the right of way, provided they either have a police escort or the lead car has some sort of flag, banner, or insignia from a funeral home. This includes traffic lights, stop signs, etc. The only thing they can't do is bypass an officer directing traffic or an emergency vehicle, but otherwise, basically, the road is theirs. It's also illegal to pass a funeral procession (on a 2 lane) here, and it's illegal to turn your lights on and join in the procession so as to get where you're going faster.

 

[vespergirl]

Well, I only saw twice funerals on road and every time I pulled over, I could say it's an old tradition but not so common to see.... Oh yes, I'm from Croatia, Europe...

Threadjack! Astra, where are you from in Croatia? I was born in NY, but my mother is from Mali Losinj, and my father is from Kukljica on Otok Ugljan (near Zadar). I also have family in Split & Trogir. I LOVE visiting whenever I can.

 

[KimberlyH]

I grew up in Southern California and this used to be normal here, but it is no longer.

 

[onedrop]

Where I live (DC Metro area), it's hit or miss, but I think people are mostly respectful and will at least not interfere with a funeral procession. I was just in a funeral procession a couple of months ago and there were A LOT of cars in the procession. My good friend, whose son was the deceased, is part of a motorcycle club and her fellow club members did traffic control. I thought that was such a wonderful thing!

I do remember being surprised at both of my grandparents' funerals which were held in SC, that everyone pulled over and actually stopped their cars during the procession to the grave site. So perhaps it's a Southern thing.

 

[JewelFreak]

When I was really little, in a suburb of Rochester NY, people did pull over, but not several years later. My mother grew up in Nebraska & said it was always done there. It surprised me when we moved here to North Carolina to find it still practiced. I think as places get more populated, traffic heavier & everybody more rushed, those customs fade out. I'll bet a hundred years ago it was done in most of the North too -- and since most towns were fairly small then, the "procession-ee" was usually someone you knew. It's a lovely custom, as are many of the older ones still surviving in the South. But it can be tough when it's a long one -- recently I had to pull over for some very popular guy; the procession was ENDLESS. Traffic sat there for 10 minutes, I kept track, stewing because they drove at about 5 mph. That's a little overkill -- if it's a long line of cars, for heaven's sake speed it up. The guy in the hearse doesn't care!

Never before encountered strangers waving as they pass until we moved here, having lived in the NE, Calif. & Europe till my husband retired -- I really like that. There is a grace to old Southern life found nowhere else. We went to Charleston a bit ago, one morning walked down the street as a man got out of a Ferrari parked at the curb. He was all elegant & spiffy; we had tourist-walking-in-the-heat clothing on. Still, he nodded & said, "Good morning" as pleasantly as if we'd been next door neighbors. How neat, you'd never find that in the North -- now when we wave & strangers don't wave back, we growl, "Yankees."

--- Laurie

 

[cemrn]

Aww packrat I didn't know you were an Iowa girl
We always pulled over in Iowa. I live in Houston and the police escort these processions and you'd better pull over

 

[packrat]

Hooray for Iowa!

 

[Astra]

Well, I only saw twice funerals on road and every time I pulled over, I could say it's an old tradition but not so common to see.... Oh yes, I'm from Croatia, Europe...

Threadjack! Astra, where are you from in Croatia? I was born in NY, but my mother is from Mali Losinj, and my father is from Kukljica on Otok Ugljan (near Zadar). I also have family in Split & Trogir. I LOVE visiting whenever I can.

Oh my God! I'm from Zagreb but my friend's mother is from Kukljica, Ugljan (I spent some summer vacations there)! Wow, what a small world!I also visited every larger town in Cro, so yes, I've been lots of times on Lošinj, in Split and Trogir.

 

[OUpearlgirl]

I've been to several funerals in Texas and Oklahoma. I've always seen this done, big or small city.

 

[Loves Vintage]

Well, I only saw twice funerals on road and every time I pulled over, I could say it's an old tradition but not so common to see.... Oh yes, I'm from Croatia, Europe...

Threadjack! Astra, where are you from in Croatia? I was born in NY, but my mother is from Mali Losinj, and my father is from Kukljica on Otok Ugljan (near Zadar). I also have family in Split & Trogir. I LOVE visiting whenever I can.

Oh my God! I'm from Zagreb but my friend's mother is from Kukljica, Ugljan (I spent some summer vacations there)! Wow, what a small world!I also visited every larger town in Cro, so yes, I've been lots of times on Lošinj, in Split and Trogir.

Continuing Threadjack:

Just wanted to add, Welcome Astra! We do have another poster here from Croatia, but I am not sure that he has posted in a while. My husband and I got married in Hvar, but also spent time in Zagreb, Plitvice, Opatija,Istria. We stayed at the Regent Esplanade in Zagreb, the nicest hotel I've ever been to!! You are so lucky to live in Zagreb, just beautiful!

Vesper, I hope you get to visit frequently! Such a wonderful country. I want to go back!!