Possibly moving- San Jose, CA or Houston, TX? Advice please!

[february2003bride]

There is a good possibility that we'll be relocation from outside the DC area to either Houston, TX or San Jose, CA! DH is interviewing at a company and while I don't want to jinx it, there's a good chance he'll get an offer. While I'm excited for him, I'm completely freaking out! I've lived here my entire life and have never been to either areas that are in consideration! We have three kids, two elementary and one high school, and our public schools here are fantastic. There is a small chance that if DH gets the offer, and he accepts it, that he could work here and travel, which would be great, but it would also be temporary. After X number of months, they would want us to relocate to one of those areas.

In an attempt to feel like I have SOME control over this, I've been researching both areas for homes, schools, crime, etc. and am just confused. It's hard not having been to either places. DH has been to both, but it was for work, not with the mindset of either places being a home for us. So I would GREATLY appreciate any insight into both areas!!

 

[marymm]

Re: Possibly moving- San Jose, CA or Houston, TX? Advice ple

Well, I grew up in San Jose and though I moved away after graduating high school I still have family & friends that live there... Lots of things to do in San Jose and geographically San Jose is an easy drive away from San Francisco, Santa Cruz/Capitola, Carmel/Monterey [growing up we had relatives in the Santa Cruz area so most weekends we'd head "over the hill" at least one day to spend time at the beach and with our cousins]. Not sure where your husband's company is located but there are lots of great and not-so-great neighborhoods, etc.

You probably already heard that California is ranked as the worst-run state for the 2nd year in a row - in that same survey, Texas has been top-ranked every year (http://articles.latimes.com/2012/may/02/business/la-fi-mo-california-worst-state-20120502), and California ranks 47th in student spending (http://toped.svefoundation.org/2012/01/13/ca-student-spending-near-bottom/) - how those rankings translate to real life I think really depends on the neighborhood/city. California's state university/college system is very well regarded though I believe a number of campuses are impacted (more qualified students than capacity permits).

For me, a California native (now living in SoCal), the Pacific Ocean is a big draw, as is all that California has to offer in terms of climate, geography, and diversity. I can't speak to Texas as I've never spent any time there - but I can say that most people I know from California who have relocated to Texas have done so for economic reasons.

Good luck with your decision.

 

[asscher_girl]

Re: Possibly moving- San Jose, CA or Houston, TX? Advice ple

Hi Feb,
My DH and I moved to San Jose, CA 6 years ago from Atlanta. We love it here, we finally bought a house in 2011 which gave us time to move around the bay area to see what we liked best. San Jose (all of the Bay area really) is pricey. So make sure you factor that in. Not sure if this area is comparable to DC. Also, if you want to live in San Jose and have good schools, check out Los Gatos/Saratoga, then Almaden (which is in SJ) and then Willow Glen. We don't have kids but many of our friends do so I always hear about schools, etc. LG/Saratoga would be the most expensive to live in the South Bay but awesome schools all the way through High School. Almaden and Willow Glen have great elementary schools, I think Almaden has a good high school but I don't think WG does. There are a few really good private schools in the area if you'd rather go that route. Bellarmine and Harker are 2 that I know of and know people that went there. Bellarmine is all boys though.

There are so many small "towns" within San Jose - downtown Willow Glen, Rose Garden, Japantown, downtown SJ, Campbell, and then Los Gatos and Saratoga. Lots of great little shops and restaurants. Also a lot of parks and trails around too.

There's so much to do in the bay area - trips into San Francisco for great restaurants, beach days in Santa Cruz, Wine country not too far away, and the mountains are just a 2-3 hr drive to play in snow

Let me know if you have any particular SJ questions, I'm happy to help.

 

[amc80]

Re: Possibly moving- San Jose, CA or Houston, TX? Advice ple

http://www.protectsanjose.com/content/30-officers-resign-san-jose-police-department-60-days-and-assistant-chief-police-follows

Have you heard about this?

 

[ponder]

Re: Possibly moving- San Jose, CA or Houston, TX? Advice ple

The biggest things Houston is going to have going for it over San Jose is cost of living and a great economy. Your money is going to go MUCH farther as general cost of living and housing prices are going to be much less, much less than you are probably used to now. Also, Houston has not been as greatly effected by the recession as the majority of the country so it will probably be easier for you to find employment if you want, depending on your field. Also, if you have one in high school, instate college tuition is going to be much cheaper in Texas.

Houston is big, 4th largest city I think, but more importantly it is geographically big. It is very spread out and if you don't plan your home finding well you can be in for some really long commutes. That being said most people live outside of downtown Houston in large master planned suburban communities. Very manicured areas with great school districts (I would stay away from Houston Independent School District HISD). Lots of parks, libraries, neighborhood pools. Do you know what area of Houston your DH would be working?

Lots of people complain that the weather is horrible, and it is, from May to Sept. Hot,hot,hot and humid like you can only imagine.
If you are not a fan of cold weather and shoveling snow then you may actually like it. We are currently in a drought and had 110F and greater temps during most of the summer of 2011. the rest of the year is very mild and shorts and flip flops are a must, even unfortunately on some Christmas days. This winter has been fairly mild. The kids were out in short sleeves and pants on Christmas day, but it has been cooler lately with highs in the 50s and lows on the mid to upper 30's. It only snows about once every 5 years (inch or so) and only lasts a day or two before it melts.

Hurricanes, we do get them fairly regularly. Lately we have prayed for one or two simply to get some rain. It's really not a big deal, we get a big one (category 3) or higher every 5-10 years. As long as you are not along the coast and take moderate preparations its really just an inconvenience. The last cat 3 we were without power for 2 weeks. Again, inconvenient but not the end of the world.

I have also heard alot of people call Houston an ugly city. If you are looking to live an idyllic big city experience, Houston may not be the town for you. The downtown skyline is not that impressive and because it is so spread out, it is zoned weirdly and has been developed haphazardly.

I have been over most of the US and I will say that hands down (IMHO) that Texas is the friendliest place I've ever been to. People are very open and welcoming and TALKATIVE. Complete strangers start conversations all the time and there is no end to the casual Howdy, thank you and ma'am.

 

[ponder]

Re: Possibly moving- San Jose, CA or Houston, TX? Advice ple

And don't forget that Houston is home to both BGD and Whiteflash.

 

[justginger]

Re: Possibly moving- San Jose, CA or Houston, TX? Advice ple

And don't forget that Houston is home to both BGD and Whiteflash.

She played the trump card!

 

[february2003bride]

Re: Possibly moving- San Jose, CA or Houston, TX? Advice ple

And don't forget that Houston is home to both BGD and Whiteflash.

Oh, don't I know it! Two "sorry I'm making you move gifts" from DH will be a new SUV and a lovely sparkly from WF or BGD.

Thank you so so much everyone for all of the help! I can't express in a post how much I appreciate these posts because they really are helpful.

To show how uncertain we are, for hours today San Jose was our #1 choice until I really dug in to how low rated the schools are in affordable neighborhoods and how high priced the homes are in safe, good school areas. Like, crazy expensive. We would actually rent in CA, at least at first, and even the rent is expensive for what we need. My original home search in TX (and we would buy in TX) was Katy and I've since expanded to Sugarland. Very beautiful, newer homes, similar style to my current home. And the school ratings are encouraging! But in CA; the weather, the weather, the weather. And DH wouldn't have any problem finding future jobs in silicon valley if we wanted this move to be permanent.

So, yeah. We're still divided. And if DH gets a job offer, the company may very well say DH must work in Houston, because the company's headquarters are there. Right now HR is saying we can decide, but that DH's possible boss would prefer TX.

Ponder- I'm sorry I don't know yet what area of Houston the company is located in. And Houston being a lower COL area than DC or SJ is a huge factor for us! I'm so happy to hear that people are nice there!

One question that I hope someone can answer- DH says Houston is very diverse. We're a mixed race couple- DH is Indian and I'm American. How accepting is Houston and surrounding areas of mixed race couples and children? We are friends with a couple that's mixed race who moved to a neighboring state of TX, and their neighbors are quite rude and their kids are bullied at school over being mixed race. Hearing their story just scared me, given I live in such a melting pot area and no one thinks twice about it in DC/VA/MD area. DH really doesn't think it's an issue though.

Thank you again soooo much!!!

 

[royalstarrynight]

Re: Possibly moving- San Jose, CA or Houston, TX? Advice ple

This may not be relevant anymore but...
I grew up in West San Jose and can tell you that some of the hottest public STEM schools in the nation (Science Technology Engineering Math) schools are in the area.

You would have absolutely no issues with diversity especially in those ridiculously expensive areas as well. They're heavily southeast asian- actually asian overall. My own school was over 75%. I saw a lot of classmates with parents who made a decision to downgrade their lifestyle in order for their kids to have the best schooling especially with the immigrants.

If you're worried about the price of housing, you can also do private schooling, which can be pricey.

As listed before, there's also tons of awesome things to do around the bay area. Plus the weather is always temperate here! We're spoiled.

 

[distracts]

Re: Possibly moving- San Jose, CA or Houston, TX? Advice ple

Houston is horrible. Only move there if you like racist oil people and insufferable humidity. But then, I'm from Dallas, so I could be biased... with that said, I know almost no one who likes Houston, and have known many people who have lived there. And the two people I know who do like it are both racist oil people.

Okay having read that you're a mixed race family... I dunno. But I do know that everyone I know who grew up in Houston or has lived there a long time is imo horrifically racist. Including my extended family who live there. The influx of Katrina refugees especially increased racism like a thousandfold. But it may also depend on what neighborhood you live in and what fields you are in - almost everyone I know in Houston is in oil or programming (most often, oil-related computery stuff). If you're not in that sort of group, it could be completely different.

I also know all my friends around my age (mid twenties) who have moved there have had a really hard time making friends and find the social scene difficult.

Also Houston has the worst traffic ever.

eta: I know this is unrelentingly negative, but I just really don't know anyone who likes Houston, basically.

 

[Alexiszoe]

Re: Possibly moving- San Jose, CA or Houston, TX? Advice ple

One question that I hope someone can answer- DH says Houston is very diverse. We're a mixed race couple- DH is Indian and I'm American. How accepting is Houston and surrounding areas of mixed race couples and children? We are friends with a couple that's mixed race who moved to a neighboring state of TX, and their neighbors are quite rude and their kids are bullied at school over being mixed race. Hearing their story just scared me, given I live in such a melting pot area and no one thinks twice about it in DC/VA/MD area. DH really doesn't think it's an issue though.

Thank you again soooo much!!!

I would be somewhat hesitant about the TX move, because of my cousin's experience (they are a mixed race couple as well). Her kids are home schooled because of the bullying their eldest faced in school. San Jose and CA in general is much more racially diverse, so I would imagine this might not be as big of an issue. I hope this helps!

 

[february2003bride]

Re: Possibly moving- San Jose, CA or Houston, TX? Advice ple

Thank you districts and Alexis. That concerns me. Houston wouldn't be our forever home, more like, for 3-4 years. But while we are there, I'd like our stay to be a good one! Some of the relocation forums I've been reading have said that Sugar Land is more diverse, friendly, and open minded than other areas. Would you say that's correct?

 

[star sparkle]

Re: Possibly moving- San Jose, CA or Houston, TX? Advice ple

I live in San Jose and have been in the greater Bay Area my whole life. I love it here, but I'll be relocating to DC in the next few years because of FI's job and I'm not really looking forward to it.

Anyway, everyone is right about the cost of living here. It's exorbitantly high, but I'm a firm believer in the "you get what you pay for" mindset. In all my travels throughout the U.S. and brief stints living elsewhere (Texas and Georgia), I can say that nowhere else are the diversity of activities and opportunities available as abundant as they are here. And of course, the weather.

FI and I are both avid skiers and scuba divers, and guess what? We can participate in BOTH of those activities from our home base in San Jose. Tahoe is a 3 hour drive away, and the ocean is a stone's throw away. You want wine country? Head up the highway to Napa, or go inland a bit for some desert fun.

The entire Bay Area is culturally diverse, you'd have zero problems being a mixed racial couple here. Every weekend there's some sort of concert going on, or a local sports team is playing (hell, we've got at least 7 major league teams split between San Jose, San Francisco, and Oakland), or just a random food & wine or jazz festival.

Not sure what traffic is like in Houston having never been there, but it can get pretty bad in the Bay Area if you've got a long commute. Consider that when choosing where to live.

Hmmm..that's all I can think of for now, let me know if you have other specific questions!

 

[star sparkle]

Re: Possibly moving- San Jose, CA or Houston, TX? Advice ple

Oh, and Houston may have BGD and WF, but we've got Joe Escobar and Lang Antiques.

 

[february2003bride]

Re: Possibly moving- San Jose, CA or Houston, TX? Advice ple

Oh, and Houston may have BGD and WF, but we've got Joe Escobar and Lang Antiques.

LOL! So true!

Thank you so much star sparkle! I think I posted above, SJ is choice #1 based on weather and job opportunity. I'm just worried about schools and home prices (although we would rent for a while). Houston though does have the "more bang for your buck" for housing though. I won't know for a few more weeks if DH is getting an offer. Thanks again so much!

 

[danners84]

Re: Possibly moving- San Jose, CA or Houston, TX? Advice ple

Houston is horrible. Only move there if you like racist oil people and insufferable humidity...

But I do know that everyone I know who grew up in Houston or has lived there a long time is imo horrifically racist. Including my extended family who live there.

Distracts, my sympathies on your family.

Feb, I grew up in Sugar Land. Highly ranked schools, and extremely diverse. Based on your first post, I was going to recommend it or Katy for the schools, but Katy is not nearly as diverse. Houston itself is also quite diverse. And my husband and I ARE an interracial couple. We've never experienced ANY racism in Houston, and both grew up with many mixed race friends who were not at all bullied. Other parts of Texas? Sure. Houston? Nope. The Texas Medical Center pulls in professionals from all over the world, as does the oil industry. I suppose it's all in who you socialize with/where you socialize?

The weather does suck in the summer. A lot. Traffic is better than it used to be with some major freeway improvements recently, but it all depends on where you are coming from/going to.

If I had to pick between Houston and San Jose? If you can swing a neighborhood in CA with either good schools or where you could afford to send your kids to private school, that would be my pick, especially if you would stay there long term but not TX. But if for job reasons (pressure from the new boss?) you had to move to Houston? I don't think you need to worry about discrimination, and the suburbs offer great schools and, compared to most of the country, exceptional prices on housing. My reason for preferring CA over Houston is because DH and I are huge outdoor adventurers, and the west coast has us beat x 1000 on that front.

 

[jstarfireb]

Re: Possibly moving- San Jose, CA or Houston, TX? Advice ple

I moved from Pennsylvania to the Bay Area almost 100% for the weather, so I may be a bit biased. And I've never lived in Texas, just visited. But Houston is hot and humid, and San Jose is nice and mild. It never gets cold enough to snow (I hate snow!), and we basically have 2 seasons (warm dry summer and mild wet winter). Of course, I live on the Peninsula and not the South Bay (where SJ is), and the micro-climates in this area vary quite a bit. San Jose is substantially warmer than where I live, but not humid at all.

There's a lot to do around here, and the Bay Area is like one sprawling city - the smaller cities and towns sort of blend right into each other, so it feels like a huge area. Caltrain connects SJ and SF, so it's not very difficult to take a day trip into SF without dealing with SF parking.

Crime is not very high around here at all, unless you're in the inner cities. In the 'burbs, I feel extremely safe.

I don't know much about schools, except that for college the UC system is excellent but difficult to get into even for some state residents.

Clearly the political climate will vary tremendously between the two places you're considering. I don't know what you're political leanings are, but I personally couldn't live in a red state without being driven insane, and I fit in perfectly with the liberal Bay Area population.

And finally, I love being surrounded by so many intelligent people. Silicon Valley is a hotbed of technology and innovation, and it draws some of the greatest minds in from around the country and world. It's a breath of fresh air after some of the other places I've lived in.

The single drawback of the Bay Area is the ridiculous cost of living. I pay $1300/month for a 400 sq ft studio apartment in a relatively blue-collar area, not including utilities. I think you can probably rent a single-family house for $3000ish depending on where you're looking.

ETA: As others have said, the Bay Area is extremely diverse and accepting of all sorts of pairings. I'm white and my husband is Asian, and we're not at all uncommon around here.

 

[Brown.Eyed.Girl]

Re: Possibly moving- San Jose, CA or Houston, TX? Advice ple

I moved out to SJ about 1.5 years ago. It is really expensive! I wasn't shell-shocked as much, but only because prior to moving here, I had also lived in Manhattan and Tokyo for a short time.

I won't repeat too much of what the others said about the wonderful benefits of living in the Bay Area. TBH, the only reason I wouldn't move out here is if you're planning on staying forever and buying a house. I don't think I'll be settling permanently out here because of that reason.

As a teacher out here though, I do have to say that the school districts I would look at (at least for high school) are Los Gatos/Saratoga, Mountain View/Los Altos, and Palo Alto Unified. Those are very strong south bay/peninsula school districts, are well-funded, good teachers, and have strong high schools. A bit further up the peninsula, San Mateo is also a good school district.

ETA: I wouldn't worry about the diversity issue down here. I'm Asian, my BF is white, and we are walking cliches

 

[ponder]

Re: Possibly moving- San Jose, CA or Houston, TX? Advice ple

I've been thinking about Distracts post all day. At first I was like, Houston? Racist? Never! But the more I thought about it, the more examples of racism I could come up with. Then the more I thought about it I was coming up with just as many racist comments/attitudes I had experienced from friends who are minorities. My BFF at work is black, abhors prejudices at any level, but is guilty of it herself. My college roommate was from India and would constantly blow my mind about her attitude towards Americans and her attitudes towards other Indians of a different caste was insane. I could think of some similar experiences with my Asian friends. And prejudices between hispanic cultures can also be extreme. Apparently Dallas thinks we are all racist rednecks, but to tell the truth, most people from Houston think people from Dallas are all extremely pretentious and live outside of their means. My conclusion, racism/prejudice is everywhere, in many forms. Do I think it is more overt in Houston than any other place in the US, or even world for that matter? I don't know. Are people going to stone you, no. Or even say anything to your face, unlikely.

I messaged a few friends in interracial marriages (white/Inuit indian, white/middle eastern, and white/Thai) and asked about their experiences. Overwhelmingly positive experiences with the occasional odd look or last name confusion. No issues with school, yet, but their kids are younger than yours (early elementary). Bullying, unfortunately is a nationwide epidemic. Never have i seen more desire to fit in and be "popular" than with kids today. And i am amazed how vicious kids can be if you don't fit in. My niece is having bulling problems in middle school and came home all excited because she " made a new friend in PE who is black, which is great because all the black kids are popular." We had a long talk about it being just as bad to want to be friends with a girl because she is popular as it is for someone not to be your friend because you are not. Honestly, depending on your kids appearance, they may just get mistaken for being hispanic since white/hispanic is the most common interracial relationship (two of my friends have remarked on this).

I completely agree with Distracts that Houston is not for the single person in their mid twenties. Also the Southside of town tends to be more diverse, especially if you are looking for an Indian community, Hindu temple, or even a good Indian restaurant.

My mother described moving to Texas as not moving to another state, but moving to another country. We moved to Tx in the early 80s during a recession and one thing my parents always remarked on was that "no one in Houston was from Texas". All of our neighbors were, like us, were from out of state and had recently come to Texas because it was the only place with a stable and growing economy. I think there is a fairly decent influx going on now.

I doubt you are going to have a problem no matter where you live in Houston, because ultimately your DH's work location will likely dictate that. If you decide or boss decides for you, let us know the area DH will be working from and we can help to narrow down communities to look at for schools/homes.

 

[madelise]

Re: Possibly moving- San Jose, CA or Houston, TX? Advice ple

San Jose, all the way.

 

[february2003bride]

Re: Possibly moving- San Jose, CA or Houston, TX? Advice ple

Thank you again so much! DH is still in the interview process with the company and I'm still researching. DH talked to a cousin who is in Cupertino and he's been a great help. He said to except high living costs, possible private school tuition (which we would like to avoid) but that the weather is fantastic and lots of things to do in the area. We have friends that live 2 hours outside San Jose and DH spoke to them as well. Interesting, they said that while they love it, they wouldn't recommend moving out there, simply because it's SO expensive.

DH also spoke with a a contact that has lived in Houston for 20 years and he had nothing but positive things to say. He's Indian and said that he has never felt threatened in any way and neither have his kids. He said that Houston itself is so diverse (as mentioned in other posts) that it shouldn't be a concern. Not that there ISN'T racism, but they are probably in pocket areas. So for me, it's no longer an issue.

We are definitely leaning heavily towards one area but we don't want to jinx anything and say it out loud until we know DH is getting an offer. Funny how I went from being the girl that would NEVER leave her hometown area to now being really excited about moving to another state.

That being said, can anyone tell me about Sugar Land and Katy? Especially the high schools in general?


Also for CA, Fremont/Mission/Willow Glen? Any areas to avoid for public schools in Northern CA? We're also heavily looking at Saratoga, specifically because the high school is is highly rated.

 

[JulieN]

Re: Possibly moving- San Jose, CA or Houston, TX? Advice ple

There is really no contest unless COL is a major factor...

Fremont area is heavily Indian.

 

[mogster]

Re: Possibly moving- San Jose, CA or Houston, TX? Advice ple

Also for CA, Fremont/Mission/Willow Glen? Any areas to avoid for public schools in Northern CA? We're also heavily looking at Saratoga, specifically because the high school is is highly rated.

I would avoid east San Jose for schools and, personally, San Jose in general as I prefer the small(er) town feel of its neighboring cities. Palo Alto, Los Gatos, Saratoga, Cupertino, and Fremont all have stellar high schools, but it is reflected in the real estate and cost of living. Campbell and Mountain View are good options as well.

 

[february2003bride]

Re: Possibly moving- San Jose, CA or Houston, TX? Advice ple

There is really no contest unless COL is a major factor...

Fremont area is heavily Indian.

COl is a factor but the COL in Houston specifically is the big draw. Beautiful homes, great schools, lots to do in Houston (all new to us!) pull us there. That being said, San Jose has the weather, the jobs, tons of attractions, diversity, and their general politics of the area coincide with mine and DH's. The downside are the taxes, the home prices, and the quality of schools. I am perfectly fine living in a small home in a great school district. I love cozy homes and if we can eventually buy one to remodel and the kids got a great public school education as well, I'd be thrilled.

We're not looking for an Indian majority area- we want a diverse area.

 

[february2003bride]

Re: Possibly moving- San Jose, CA or Houston, TX? Advice ple

Also for CA, Fremont/Mission/Willow Glen? Any areas to avoid for public schools in Northern CA? We're also heavily looking at Saratoga, specifically because the high school is is highly rated.

I would avoid east San Jose for schools and, personally, San Jose in general as I prefer the small(er) town feel of its neighboring cities. Palo Alto, Los Gatos, Saratoga, Cupertino, and Fremont all have stellar high schools, but it is reflected in the real estate and cost of living. Campbell and Mountain View are good options as well.

Great!! Thank you!

 

[Alexiszoe]

Re: Possibly moving- San Jose, CA or Houston, TX? Advice ple

Palo Alto, Los Gatos, Saratoga, Cupertino, and Fremont all have stellar high schools, but it is reflected in the real estate and cost of living. Campbell and Mountain View are good options as well.

ditto. I have friends living in Palo Alto and loved the area (quality of life), however, the cost of living is very high. When they were looking for houses a few years back, their budget of 1 million was considered modest in the area. That being said, if you can swing it I think those places are definitely worthwhile.

 

[madelise]

Re: Possibly moving- San Jose, CA or Houston, TX? Advice ple

Palo Alto, Los Gatos, Saratoga, Cupertino, and Fremont all have stellar high schools, but it is reflected in the real estate and cost of living. Campbell and Mountain View are good options as well.

ditto. I have friends living in Palo Alto and loved the area (quality of life), however, the cost of living is very high. When they were looking for houses a few years back, their budget of 1 million was considered modest in the area. That being said, if you can swing it I think those places are definitely worthwhile.

But the perks of that is no private school tuition! And the cost of the housing will maintain it's value, so you can always sell the house later on for (most likely) more than you purchased for.

Palo Alto is the city SO's BFF lives in. It's beautiful, I love how spaced out the suburbs are. I live in a very cramped Los Angeles, and would loveeee to move there!

 

[asscher_girl]

Re: Possibly moving- San Jose, CA or Houston, TX? Advice ple

I would definitely recommend Los Gatos or Saratoga then. They both have excellent schools and great small town/safe environment. Cupertino and Palo Alto schools are great too. Depends on how much your husband wants to commute though, need to consider that.

Willow Glen's elementary schools are good but high school would need to be private.