If you lost your engagement ring would you.....

[SapphireLover]

A- Replace it with the same ring?
B- Take it as an opportunity to get something different?

Due to some bad luck I am having to make a claim on my insurance policy for my engagement ring. I have suggested to DH that I might look at something different and he is devastated. He feels it is the single biggest purchase we have made (apart from house/ car etc) and that it symbolises something special and that we spent so long working on it. He doesn't like upgrades (he thinks that the original had meaning and you shouldn't trade up) and has said he'd be hurt if I took it as an opportunity for an upgrade.

So what would you guys do? Of course, this all depends on the insurance company paying out!) I also realise that asking for opinions on PS might give slightly biased answers!

 

[QueenB29]

So sorry to hear your bad news I just did a quick search and your e-ring was TDF!!!!! May I ask what you would be interested in changing?

For me, it would probably depend on how much it bothered DH. He was fine with resetting it, but like your DH he is very attached to the stone. I don't know how he would feel about it if it was lost or something though.

 

[basil]

When I lost my engagement ring, I happened to see the identical setting and a similarly sized stone on Pearlman's preowned section, in my ring size no less. I took that as a sign, and we bought that ring.

However, even though I probably wouldn't have ever upgraded my original ring, I think I might upgrade this one in due time. Even though it looks incredibly similar, it's not the real engagement ring.

 

[rosetta]

I would never sell my original engagement ring, but if it was lost/stolen then I would upgrade or buy something different.

After all, youll never get the original ring that has the sentiments attached to it back.

So why not buy what you want now?

I'm very sorry to hear you lost the original though

 

[minmin001]

I'd probably get something different. Your husband should understand that a look alike ring or even if it's the same spec stone and same setting from the same place is NOT the same ring anymore. So he should just let you get what you want and make you happy.

 

[April20]

I like my ring, but I've seen some rings since that have made me go "man, if I'd seen that before, I'd have done that!". I would totally exploit, um, I mean take the opportunity, to change things up.

That being said.......

Your DHs feelings are important. If he strongly feels it should be the same, I don't know if you want to win this battle. You might lose the war. You really don't want there to be bottled up resentment bubbling over every time he looks at your e-ring.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Hi,

Under your circumstances, I wouldn't want to hurt my dh so I'd listen to his wishes and work together to find a ring/diamond that would make you both feel happy about.

For me, I would upgrade, but that is only because my diamond appraises for more $ than what it would cost to replace the stone/setting and I'd have money left over so I'd put it all into the diamond and get a simple setting.

Sorry about your ring!

 

[maplefemme]

I like my ring, but I've seen some rings since that have made me go "man, if I'd seen that before, I'd have done that!". I would totally exploit, um, I mean take the opportunity, to change things up.

That being said.......

Your DHs feelings are important. If he strongly feels it should be the same, I don't know if you want to win this battle. You might lose the war. You really don't want there to be bottled up resentment bubbling over every time he looks at your e-ring.

This +1

If he didn't say he would be hurt I would take it as an opportunity to change things up or upgrade. The original ring is forever gone, this is a replacement, I personally don't see the problem changing it up, BUT, that's me.
Here's the thing, I see a lot comments on PS on how it should be all about making the girl happy, what she wants, her feelings, her happiness, well women aren't the only person in the equation! Some men put a lot of emotion into the entire engagement process, sometimes the ring is a symbol of this, sometimes not, but if it is then their feelings are no less important than the woman's.
I'd sit down and talk about it more, it might be that he's thinking you now feel that the first E-ring was "not enough"...that's a blow to some men.
I'd try to work out a compromise so that you are both happy...

 

[HollyS]

I know I'm in the minority on PS, because the prevailing wind blows upgrades and changes, but. . .


There are other beautiful, spectactular rings out there . . . but they are not MY rings.

Even if something happened to my ring, I think we would buy the same setting again (maybe with a slightly bigger diamond ). The day we chose this setting and stone is a cherished memory, (we had the owner of the store in tears because we were so happy) and we would likely go back and repeat the process. The store owner has become a dear friend; we bought our wedding bands from her, and all subsequent bling, and we would just want to do it all again with her. And I want to see THIS style on my hand because it is MY ring. It's the ring that spoke to me - - whispered in my ear - - "I'm yours." After years of searching, I knew this was THE ring.

If something ever happens to my w-band, I will also choose the same style, but change the metal to platinum. If I have undamaged stones, I will reuse the diamonds from the original.

The bottom line is this: my particular rings mean the world to me. Other rings and stones are beautiful (especially Haven's lovely), but they can't replace how I feel about mine.

 

[maplefemme]

I know I'm in the minority on PS, because the prevailing wind blows upgrades and changes, but. . .


There are other beautiful, spectactular rings out there . . . but they are not MY rings.

Even if something happened to my ring, I think we would buy the same setting again (maybe with a slightly bigger diamond ). The day we chose this setting and stone is a cherished memory, (we had the owner of the store in tears because we were so happy) and we would likely go back and repeat the process. The store owner has become a dear friend; we bought our wedding bands from her, and all subsequent bling, and we would just want to do it all again with her. And I want to see THIS style on my hand because it is MY ring. It's the ring that spoke to me - - whispered in my ear - - "I'm yours." After years of searching, I knew this was THE ring.

If something ever happens to my w-band, I will also choose the same style, but change the metal to platinum. If I have undamaged stones, I will reuse the diamonds from the original.

The bottom line is this: my particular rings mean the world to me. Other rings and stones are beautiful (especially Haven's lovely), but they can't replace how I feel about mine.

Love this story and sentiment...

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I'm admittedly overly-sentimental about my ring. To the point where I dropped the insurance because if I lost it, I would never want to replace it.

So if I'm being honest, I would probably just wear my wedding band and that would be that. However, if DH and I decided down the road to get another diamond ring for my left hand, I would probably not get the same type of ring. I love my ring, but I'm afraid if I replaced it with something very similar, it would always be a reminder of what I lost. If I got a craving for something blingy, I'd probably get a chunky eternity band.

ETA: I forgot to say how sorry I am about you losing your ring!

 

[ame]

A- Replace it with the same ring?
B- Take it as an opportunity to get something different?

Due to some bad luck I am having to make a claim on my insurance policy for my engagement ring. I have suggested to DH that I might look at something different and he is devastated. He feels it is the single biggest purchase we have made (apart from house/ car etc) and that it symbolises something special and that we spent so long working on it. He doesn't like upgrades (he thinks that the original had meaning and you shouldn't trade up) and has said he'd be hurt if I took it as an opportunity for an upgrade.

So what would you guys do? Of course, this all depends on the insurance company paying out!) I also realise that asking for opinions on PS might give slightly biased answers!

Well, I have lost mine due to theft two years ago. I got almost the same thing, though the stone was a bit of an upgrade, in part due to supply. My setting is only a little different from before.

But if I lost this one, I don't know what I would do. IF I bothered to replace it, I'd probably get the same cut if possible. If not possibly maybe an Octavia. But setting wise I dunno what I would do. DH didn't have any preference as to what I did, as long as I got something I would love. I did, though not without drama. He is not at all opposed to that whole Upgrade thing, though he would rather buy a new thing outright than trade in. We lost that opportunity on the original which he intended to make a side stone in a monster three stone one day.

 

[tyty333]

I would get something new...I have a pear that I love but I've really been dying over these older cuts lately. I think I would want
an OEC, OMC, AVC etc. However, it doesnt seem like I wear my ering that much any more. Mostly just my 5 stone wedding band
on my left hand so I would have to take that into consideration.

I also have a pear pendant so I think that would fill my pear need (might would have to upgrade that).

 

[Rhea]

I wouldn't choose the same style of ring again. If my ring were lost forever I'm not sure what I'd do, but rather something different. If I looked down and saw a different ring, I think I could deal with it. If I tried to get the exact ring I think I'd just be reminded of how lovely the ring I lost was. I can't replace it and trying and having a reminder everyday would hurt.

I also wouldn't get a Calico cat if mine died, the reminder would be too painful for a bit.

 

[mayerling]

I'm very sentimental, so my first response would be to get the exact same ring. However, I know that every time I would look at it I would KNOW that it's not the original; which means it really wouldn't have any sentimental value anyway.

I guess I don't know what I would do

 

[QueenB29]

I know I'm in the minority on PS, because the prevailing wind blows upgrades and changes, but. . .


There are other beautiful, spectactular rings out there . . . but they are not MY rings.

Even if something happened to my ring, I think we would buy the same setting again (maybe with a slightly bigger diamond ). The day we chose this setting and stone is a cherished memory, (we had the owner of the store in tears because we were so happy) and we would likely go back and repeat the process. The store owner has become a dear friend; we bought our wedding bands from her, and all subsequent bling, and we would just want to do it all again with her. And I want to see THIS style on my hand because it is MY ring. It's the ring that spoke to me - - whispered in my ear - - "I'm yours." After years of searching, I knew this was THE ring.

If something ever happens to my w-band, I will also choose the same style, but change the metal to platinum. If I have undamaged stones, I will reuse the diamonds from the original.

The bottom line is this: my particular rings mean the world to me. Other rings and stones are beautiful (especially Haven's lovely), but they can't replace how I feel about mine.

Beautiful story

 

[rainydaze]

you know, i get where your DH is coming from. it sounds like he feels very strongly so ultimately i think you would be wise to show consideration for that.

that being said, i'm not sure i would want a copy of what i had since that's what it would always be to me.... i would rather find something different (with DH's involvement) that allows it to have it's own meaning instead of being a reminder or placeholder for something lost. it will never *be* the ring you originally had, so to me that would make the new copy ring feel, i don't know, empty? a bandaid? a different ring would say 'ok, hey, we lost something important but we still have what matters, the relationship, and this new ring represents our continuing commitment and where we are at at *this point*'. i would always remember and carry with me the sentiment of the original ring, and a new ring would be in addition to that, not in place of it.

the key is presenting that idea/concept to your DH in a way that he might be receptive to it and understand it. i don't feel like i am explaining what i mean well, but hopefully it's making a little sense at least!

i'm sorry you lost your ring, it was really beautiful and unique. i hope you and your DH find something that feels good for both of you!

 

[NOYFB]

I absolutely LOVE my setting, so if anything happened to it, I'd get the same exact setting...but with a slighted bigger stone
Because my ring was CAD created at BGD I would assume that he would still have the CAD on file to replicate it.

I'm sorry to hear that you lost your ring and hope that you and your DH can come to some sort of compromise.

 

[cookies]

Do I understand correctly that your DH wants you to get exactly the same setting & stone as the one you lost? If you love the original setting and stone, I would say, do what your DH wants, so both of you can stay happy.

Otherwise I would suggest you spend sometime (days or weeks) looking up settings by yourself. Find some settings that you think both of you will love, and show them to your DH and see what he says. Once he sees a better alternative to the original, he might change his mind.

My ring was custom made by James Meyer. I would go back to him to get something similar if I lost mine, unless he had completely retired by then. In that case, I would start from scratch and find a hand-made setting from another jeweler.

 

[Laila619]

Sorry about your situation!

I would get something completely different if, God forbid, I lost my e-ring. I would get a different shape center stone and a different setting.

 

[JuneRose]

As others have said I think you shouldn't get a new ring if it's not what your DH wants. However, since he is sentimental about the story behind the ring and how it was chosen, he might change his mind if you presented it to him as an opportunity to create a new story? Not an "upgrade" but a new "right of passage"?

 

[Haven]

I'm not particularly sentimental about things. I would probably be very upset that I lost my OMB, and I wouldn't get another ring until I came across a diamond that I love as much as the OMB. If that never happened, I just wouldn't have an e-ring.

I can't really say what I'd do in your situation because I can't in a million years picture my husband caring about the details of my ring. I would probably be so shocked I'd just follow his lead and get whatever he wanted me to get!

 

[Octavia]

If I lost my e-ring, I think my DH would feel much the same as yours, but I would not want the same exact ring. So I think I'd try to compromise and get a ring in the same spirit as my current one, but with a few differences. I'd go with an AVR center that is a little bigger than my current stone, but would keep the setting similar to what I have now. I think he'd be okay with that because it would still look pretty much the same to him...

 

[Lottie]

I don't feel particuarly sentimental about my rings, I love them but they are replaceable - my husband is not. Having said that my husband didn't want to have any say in the style of my engagement ring because I am the one that wears it. I think if it had been something that he had painstakingly chosen or helped me to design, then I would feel differently but he probably wouldn't because he knows what a fickle creature I am when it comes to jewellery. I did lose my engagement ring a few years ago and I replaced it with something different (although I should have waited because I wish I hadn't chosen what I did) - which was lucky because I did find my original ring some time after.

 

[SapphireLover]

Ok- now it's time for 100% honesty. I was never 100% happy with my ring. I'm not sure if getting the design done from scratch will make a difference.

Yes, the likelihood is that we will get more back on the insurance than we paid for it. I wouldn't use it as an opportunity to go bigger on the stone, rather to go for a better quality stone. I'd get the same shape but I am thinking of a plain setting.

I do get the point about making compromise and also upsetting my husband. Argghh! It's all so stressful.

I should just keep quiet until I've got confirmation from the insurance company that they will pay out.

On the other hand (actually the same hand and same finger) I would never ever want to replace my wedding ring. Even if I lost it i would replace it with exactly the same one.

 

[junebug17]

If my husband was devastated by the thought of changing the ring, I would get the same ring. I wouldn't be able to enjoy a new ring if it really bothered him.

ETA: just saw that you 're not altogether happy with your ring- maybe you could have an honest conversation with him about it. Possibly you could reach a compromise.

 

[yennyfire]

This is exactly the situation that brought me to PS. My ering was lost/stolen and it was insured. My hubby had designed my ring (it wasn't so unusual, but to me, the fact that he had spent the time was what made it special), so in my mind, it couldn't be duplicated. That started an almost 2 year saga for me. I bought a very large stone, realized immediately that it had a visible inclusion (which I hadn't seen in the store lighting), traded it in for a higher clarity stone and then set it in a 3 stone setting, which was VERY blingy. It was so blingy that I wasn't wearing it very often. I had also (thanks to PS), developed a passion for antique stones, so I decided to downgrade my stone to one almost a carat smaller but that sang to my heart. That was in June and I have been very patient in trying to figure out how I wanted to set the stone. I should have my new ring in another couple of weeks.

I never would have upgraded had my rings not been MIA and to be honest, I still wish none of this had happened. My original ring was perfect for me and I loved it. I think that's one of the reasons I stuggled so much to find a replacement. My advice to you is to really take your time and not rush into anything. I don't think we've lost any $$ over the course of this saga, but it certainly has been stressful! I wouldn't want anyone else to have that experience!

 

[Lottie]

If you were to explain to your husband the aspects of your ring that you loved, what didn't work for you and that it was the wedding band that carried all of the sentimental value for you would he really be so against a couple of changes to the new replacement? You are, after all the person wearing it.

Maybe wait until its time to actually start searching for the new one and the loss of the last one isn't so fresh in his mind.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I would get something completely different. Sorry to hear you lost your e-ring.

 

[diamondringlover]

I would get something different....sorry about your ring.