I lost my dad. So sad.....
- Thread starter susimoo
- Start date
FrekeChild
Super_Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Dec 14, 2007
- Messages
- 19,456
Take care of you. You can't help take care of anyone else until YOU are ok. Do not stress out about them--they will be ok. Take care of them when YOU are capable. Do NOT rush this.
Do not be afraid to ask people for help. For me it was not wanting to be alone.
Make sure you eat.
You will be ok. Promise.
Do not be afraid to ask people for help. For me it was not wanting to be alone.
Make sure you eat.
You will be ok. Promise.
Allison D.
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Feb 1, 2008
- Messages
- 2,282
Susan, I"m so very sorry for your loss.
Dear Susan,
I thought what Laurie wrote was beautiful and really resonated my own sentiments.
I just wanted to write you, even though I'm
new here and we don't know each other.
I work in a hospice, I'm a nurse there, I have been with many people as they have passed away. I also lost my Mother very suddenly and unexpectedly.
Reading how your Father was his last few days, I want you to know how very normal that can be. I have seen so many times, my patients rally on their last day. Sometimes going from non responsive for days to then sitting up and eating a big meal, smiling and laughing with family, then they take a nap and quietly pass away.
Sometimes patients talk to me about things that let me know perhaps they feel inside their body is failing, they'll talk about things related to dying or tell me right out that they are going today, and many times they do.
Please don't feel guilty for thinking you did not do anything, you did do something, you sat and held your Dads hand and stayed with him, sometimes that's all our loved one's need, don't feel guilty about that, be kind to yourself...
I thought what Laurie wrote was beautiful and really resonated my own sentiments.
I just wanted to write you, even though I'm
new here and we don't know each other.
I work in a hospice, I'm a nurse there, I have been with many people as they have passed away. I also lost my Mother very suddenly and unexpectedly.
Reading how your Father was his last few days, I want you to know how very normal that can be. I have seen so many times, my patients rally on their last day. Sometimes going from non responsive for days to then sitting up and eating a big meal, smiling and laughing with family, then they take a nap and quietly pass away.
Sometimes patients talk to me about things that let me know perhaps they feel inside their body is failing, they'll talk about things related to dying or tell me right out that they are going today, and many times they do.
Please don't feel guilty for thinking you did not do anything, you did do something, you sat and held your Dads hand and stayed with him, sometimes that's all our loved one's need, don't feel guilty about that, be kind to yourself...
- Joined
- Oct 5, 2006
- Messages
- 9,975
Susie,
I read yr post with such sadness, sorrow and I can completely empathise. In 2007, I lost my mom rather unexpectedly (in that she was ill but no-one thought she would go so suddenly). I didn't even get to see her (she/ my family was/ is in the UK and I live in Singapore) until the day after she'd passed.
I keep thinking that there were so many things I could've done for her, so many times I could've told her that I loved her and I seldom did (part of our screwed up Asian culture). That I will have to live with for the rest of my life. Not a day has passed since she was gone that I don't think of her. Yet, somehow, I think deep down inside, she must have known that I loved her and I am soooo proud to have this beautiful, amazing, strong woman for my mother and I think/ hope that she knew this.
Just think about this: Your dad had a happy life. He raised a beautiful family who loved / and still love him. You must think of him in happier times because looking down at you from Heaven, I'm sure he wouldn't want any less. The pain from the loss will never go away but just take comfort in the fact that he knew you loved him, with all your heart.
I read yr post with such sadness, sorrow and I can completely empathise. In 2007, I lost my mom rather unexpectedly (in that she was ill but no-one thought she would go so suddenly). I didn't even get to see her (she/ my family was/ is in the UK and I live in Singapore) until the day after she'd passed.
I keep thinking that there were so many things I could've done for her, so many times I could've told her that I loved her and I seldom did (part of our screwed up Asian culture). That I will have to live with for the rest of my life. Not a day has passed since she was gone that I don't think of her. Yet, somehow, I think deep down inside, she must have known that I loved her and I am soooo proud to have this beautiful, amazing, strong woman for my mother and I think/ hope that she knew this.
Just think about this: Your dad had a happy life. He raised a beautiful family who loved / and still love him. You must think of him in happier times because looking down at you from Heaven, I'm sure he wouldn't want any less. The pain from the loss will never go away but just take comfort in the fact that he knew you loved him, with all your heart.
jewelerman
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Sep 30, 2007
- Messages
- 3,107
so very sorry for what you and your family are going through.
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2006
- Messages
- 4,409
I am so sorry for you loss, I understand your pain, I just lost my Dad in September to a somewhat similar situation....you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. 
susimoo
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Jan 30, 2010
- Messages
- 1,807
I wanted to say a huge thank you to all of you. I cannot tell you how much reading your words, hearing about your experiences and your thoughts for the future, mean to me.
I am a SAHM and with my husband so far away in Australia (he came home for a week to help me and my family with the funeral) I can feel very lonely, in the wee small hours. I have often sought refuge here and this time in my life has been no different. Looking at the sparkles made me happier and I felt content, here, amongst friends.
I want to thank Bee, MrsJam, Dancing Fire, Novel, Lizzyann01, Cehrabehra, Shitzulover, diamondseeker2006, Dee*Jay, PilsnPinkysMom, Beesha77 (my heart goes out to you!! I hope you are ok. I am sending you much love!) Ninna, Frekechild, AllisonD, Missy, mcmfemme (you helped me understand a lot of my dad's last days, thank you!) Phoenix (I never told him I loved him, either. I chickened out. I did it by text. He is/was old school and didn't do public displays of affection!) jewelerman and diamondrnglover.
Thank you. I will never forget your kindness.
And my dearest Jennifer, I will see you soon. xxxx
Pricescope, I am proud to be one of you.
I am a SAHM and with my husband so far away in Australia (he came home for a week to help me and my family with the funeral) I can feel very lonely, in the wee small hours. I have often sought refuge here and this time in my life has been no different. Looking at the sparkles made me happier and I felt content, here, amongst friends.
I want to thank Bee, MrsJam, Dancing Fire, Novel, Lizzyann01, Cehrabehra, Shitzulover, diamondseeker2006, Dee*Jay, PilsnPinkysMom, Beesha77 (my heart goes out to you!! I hope you are ok. I am sending you much love!) Ninna, Frekechild, AllisonD, Missy, mcmfemme (you helped me understand a lot of my dad's last days, thank you!) Phoenix (I never told him I loved him, either. I chickened out. I did it by text. He is/was old school and didn't do public displays of affection!) jewelerman and diamondrnglover.
Thank you. I will never forget your kindness.
And my dearest Jennifer, I will see you soon. xxxx
Pricescope, I am proud to be one of you.
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