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I lost my dad. So sad.....

decodelighted

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
11,534
I'm so sorry for you loss, Susimoo. I don't even know what to say. I agree with the above sentiment that its so wonderful that you were with him doing what he wanted to do on the day he ultimately passed. There's a peace about being at home with his wife going about their day.

Also wanted to ditto this re: your Mom:

junebug17|1302192364|2890166 said:
with all the technology available today it will be easy for you to stay in close contact with her.

Something that helps me sometimes when I'm feeling grief is to repeat to myself "it's just love ... it's just love" Reframing my pain as evidence of the true, underlying emotion is one way I cope. Without the love there wouldn't be the pain. The love is what lasts.

Condolences to you & your family.
 

slg47

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 4, 2010
Messages
9,667
I am so sorry to hear this. I don't have the right words to say or advice but I will keep you and your family in my thoughts.
 

movie zombie

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 20, 2005
Messages
11,879
sorry for your loss.

MoZo
 

swingirl

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 6, 2006
Messages
5,667
I am so sorry for your loss.
 

TravelingGal

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 29, 2004
Messages
17,193
I am so sorry...my heart hurts for you.

I do believe that mothers are amazing people, and she will be fine. What would hurt me most as a mother is knowing my daughter was feeling guilty or was unhappy. If my daughter is happy, I am fine, and I do think I always will be. Your mom will be OK...show her you think of her a lot and tell her about happy times. It will be soothing to her soul.
 

iheartscience

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 1, 2007
Messages
12,111
I'm so sorry for your loss and will keep you and your family in my thoughts.
 

CherryBlossom

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jan 20, 2011
Messages
311
I have no words but to tell you that I am so sorry and I hope that somehow, someway you and your family are given the peace that you seek.

I am dealing with a sick family member and it's heartbreaking and it makes us all feel so powerless.

I am very sorry for your loss.
 

TooPatient

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Sep 1, 2009
Messages
10,295
I'm so very sorry for your loss.

My grandmother fought cancer for years and it hurt SO so bad to lose her. It has been 7 years now and it still hurts -- but it hurts less often than it did earlier on. I remember good memories of her every day and am grateful for them.

You have NOTHING to feel guilty about. Your dad got to enjoy his last hours with his family. He was comfortable and knew how much you all love him.



Music has always helped me get through difficult times. This is one of my favorites.

Collin Raye singing Holes in the Floor of Heaven:

Song

One day SHY OF eight years old
Grandma passed away
I was a broken hearted little boy,
blowing out that birthday cake
How I cried when the sky let go
with a cold and lonesome rain
Momma smiled said don't be sad child
Grandma's watchin you today

'Cause there's holes in the floor of Heaven
and her tears are pourin' down
that's how you know she's watchin'
wishin' she could be here now
And sometimes if you're lonely
just remember she can see
there's holes in the floor of Heaven
and she's watchin' over you and me

Seasons come and seasons go
nothin' stays the same
I grew up fell in love
met a girl who took my name
Year by year we made a life
in this sleepy little town
I thought we'd grow old together
Lord I sure do miss her now

But there's holes in the floor of Heaven
and her tears are pourin' down
that's how you know she's watchin'
wishin' she could be here now
and sometimes when I'm lonely
I remember she can see
there's holes in the floor of Heaven
and she's watchin' over you and me

Well my little girl is 23
I walk her down the aisle
it's a shame her mom can't be here now
to see her lovely smile
They throw the rice
I catch her eye
as the rain starts comin' down
she takes my hand says daddy don't be sad 'cause
I know momma's watchin' now

And there's holes in the floor of Heaven
and her tears are pourin down
that's how you know she's watchin'
wishin' she could be here now
and sometimes when I'm lonely
I remember she can see
there's holes in the floor of Heaven
and she's watchin' over you and me


Also:
Carrie Underwood -- Temporary Home
Garth Brooks -- The Dance
Alabama -- Angels Among Us
 

Natylad

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Nov 17, 2009
Messages
2,904
My dearest Susan...

I was very sad to read this story...how you lost your dad in such a way.... :blackeye: :blackeye: :blackeye: I understand how difficult it is for you to accept the fact that he's gone, after having been reassured by his doctors that he was doing great after his operation.
As far as i can remember myself, i've been extremely close to both my parents but especially to my dad and i was always scared that something bad might happen to him...I confided those fears to my mom and she told me that it is never easy to experience the loss of a parent, especially if you are very close to them. But she also said that in her case, what helped her the most at the difficult times when she lost her parents, was the thought that she had her own family, her children and a loving husband, who were there for her and who needed her so much. This thought gave her the strength to stand on her feet again and keep going...
My dear Susan, you are also blessed with a family, your husband and your daughter and i'm sure that you feel how much they love and need you to be there and to be strong for them. That's why you should pull yourself together and go on. And please don't blame yourself about anything. I'm sure that you know it deep inside that what happened was not your fault, it was just meant to happen...
I'm glad that you're moving, because i believe that this will help you a lot to feel better. And i'm sure that your brothers will take excellent care of your mom.
Please take care of yourself and of your daughter..i want you to smile...I always felt that you are a person full of positive energy and you bring joy to others even through your posts...

Many hugs and kisses to you...
Natalie
 

sphenequeen

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Oct 16, 2009
Messages
640
My heart breaks for you. I just want to acknowledge your pain right now and say that I am truly sorry. I will be thinking of you and your family.
 

tigian

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 25, 2009
Messages
2,731
I'm very sorry about your loss, Susimoo.
 

HeatherL

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Feb 26, 2007
Messages
168
I don't post often but reading your story brought me to tears. Just wanted to say I am so sorry for your loss and I pray that you are able to find peace....Hugs to you and your family

HeatherL
 

sctsbride09

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 3, 2008
Messages
555
I am so sorry for you and your families loss, my thoughts and prayers are with you..
 

Lula

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 5, 2009
Messages
4,624
Thinking of you and sending my condolences to you and your family, Susimoo. In my experience, the sadness over losing a parent never goes away completely, but time does take away some of the pain of losing someone so important to you.

Remembering the good times and sharing stories about his life may help heal the pain, too.
 

kittybean

Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 2, 2008
Messages
4,125
Susimoo, I am so very, very sorry to hear of your loss. Please know I am thinking of and praying for you and your family.
 

rosetta

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 7, 2010
Messages
3,417
I'm very sorry for your sudden loss.

Big big hugs xxxxx
 

susimoo

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jan 30, 2010
Messages
1,807
To each and everyone of you, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I have been lurking on PS since my dad passed on 26.3.11, knowing I wanted to talk to you all, but not knowing what to say.

I am glad I did, as Sara, our daughter says, you all made me cry happy tears. I miss him so much. I haven't really accepted he has gone, because he feels so close. We all talk about him all the time. Remember him in all his glory, good and bad!!!

I have to say thank you to you all individually because each of you have moved me. My dearest Jennifer, words cannot tell you how proud I am to call you my friend. I will see you very soon.

Autumnnovember, Kelpie, Dani, Circe, Jewelfreak/Laurie (thank you for the beautiful words) Packrat, OUpeargirl, Ilander, yennyfire, Kenny, TYTY333, Bean, D&T, Marcy, Luv2sparkle, yssie, illang chi, dragonfly411, NewEnglandLady, Skippy123, vintagelover229, somethingshiny, princesss, blackpaw, junebug17, STCI, decodelighted, slg47, movie zombie, swingirl, travellingGal, thing2of2, CherryBlossom, Toopatient, My dear friend Nat, SpheneQueen, Tigian, HeatherL,sctsbride09, Lula and Kitty bean...............................

Thank you with all my heart. You helped me more than you will ever know.
 

susimoo

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jan 30, 2010
Messages
1,807
rosetta|1302210227|2890475 said:
I'm very sorry for your sudden loss.

Big big hugs xxxxx

Rosetta, thank you. xxx
 

bee*

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 14, 2006
Messages
12,169
I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. Don't feel guilty-you have nothing to be guilty of. You couldn't have saved him. Sending lots of hugs to you and your family.
 

Jennifer W

Brilliant_Rock
Trade
Joined
Jun 18, 2010
Messages
1,958
Whenever you're ready honey, there's a bottle of wine here with your name on it.

Hugs.xxx
 

mrs jam

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 24, 2004
Messages
686
Oh Susan, I am so sorry. I have no good advice, am just sending you big hugs. The only thing I can tell you is that it takes time. When I lost my mom unexpectedly, I spent hours in the bookstore reading about how to cope with grief. It is a process, and you will get through it and life does go on, but you have to give yourself time. Know that EVERYTHING you may feel is completely normal; there is no right or wrong way to grieve. For me, the experience changed my perspective on pretty much everything. I read somewhere that "Grief is a fire that burns you pure." Meaning that all the little things don't seem so important anymore; it very much unclutters your life.

My thoughts are with you and your family.
 

Dancing Fire

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
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Apr 3, 2004
Messages
33,852
susimoo
sorry to hear this news.. :(sad ..praying for you and your family.
 

Novel

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 31, 2009
Messages
1,199
So sorry for your loss...
 

lizzyann

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 23, 2009
Messages
2,435
Very sorry to here this Susi. Please have faith that time will bring healing. One day at a time, one foot in front of the other...
 

Cehrabehra

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 29, 2006
Messages
11,071
I'm so sorry... prayers of strength and peace and love are sent to embrace you and your family.
 

shihtzulover

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 30, 2010
Messages
717
I am so sorry to hear about this. I wish that there was something that I could say to make you feel even just a little bit better, because your story absolutely breaks my heart. *Big Hugs*
 

diamondseeker2006

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jan 11, 2006
Messages
58,547
I am so very sorry, Susan. What a blessing, though, that you were all living near one another and spent so much time together! I will pray for you and your family.
 

Dee*Jay

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Mar 26, 2006
Messages
15,104
Susan, my deepest condolences to you and your family at this time.
 

PilsnPinkysMom

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Oct 11, 2008
Messages
1,878
Sorry for your loss, Susi :(( My thoughts are with you. I wish you and your family peace and healing in this difficult time.
 

beesha77

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Nov 16, 2010
Messages
249
I am so sorry. I so understand. I lost my husband, then my dad (suddenly), then my brother (suddenly) all within a period of under 2 years. There's no easy way....it just plain sucks. I'm so sorry. I miss my dad so much. Hang in there.
 
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