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How do you stay positive?

Person24

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Apr 9, 2008
Messages
209
Hi Everyone,

Thanks for the advice. I am feeling better. Like I said before I really didn't have anything awful going on in my life. I just started a new job and was feeling overwhelmed (yeah I should be thrilled about actually HAVING a job not stressing). I am trying to just let it all roll off my shoulders, realize it is what it is, and I will eventually get the hang of things! :D
 

Dreamer_D

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 16, 2007
Messages
25,250
Person24|1317866025|3034261 said:
Hi Everyone,

Thanks for the advice. I am feeling better. Like I said before I really didn't have anything awful going on in my life. I just started a new job and was feeling overwhelmed (yeah I should be thrilled about actually HAVING a job not stressing). I am trying to just let it all roll off my shoulders, realize it is what it is, and I will eventually get the hang of things! :D

I find that this type of self-talk can really contribute to feeling negative or down or feeling shame -- there is no should about emotions, they are all valid and you don't always need a reason to feel a certain way!

I am in the circe/kenny camp when it comes to emotions. Feel them, experience them, own them, don't apologize for them or feel ashamed of them, let them wash over you. "This too shall pass" is a good turn of phrase for when you feel down.

Something to think about if you are so inclines is how emotions were handled in your home and how they were expressed. Were you allowed to express anger, sadness, frustration, worry and other negative emotions? Were you punished in some way if you expressed them -- perhaps being told to buck up, or having a parent get hurt themselves if you got mad, for example. Conversely, were you allowed to express joy and happiness and elation? Or were you punished if you did -- told to get off your high horse, or having a parent get jealous of your successes and your pleasure. Expressing emotions, or not, is a key lesson we learn from our families, and it can have long term effects on our relationships and our lives when adults.
 

Dreamer_D

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 16, 2007
Messages
25,250
Haven You sound like my husband and my younger son 8) I have known my husband for seven years and have never seen him in bad mood. If he gets mad at me, he cools down and apologizes within a half hour. Truly the definition of low negative affectivity and also high positive. Such a pleasure to be married to him. Your husband is a lucky man if you are the same type of personality ::) I am pretty laid back but not as positive as my husband. I think I got the better deal in this marriage.

My older son was an easy baby in most ways, but compared to my second son he was a wild man! As H has gotten older his stubborness and persistence and independence -- traits he gets from me -- are more obvious and looking back they were evident when he was a baby too. I only recognize them looking back because with your first kid you don't have a comparison, you just sort of accept everythng about them as the norm. Now that R is here and I know what it truly means to be laid back I can see that H was a little more stubborn and quicker to complain when he was not happy with what was going on. R is like his daddy. I will put him down for a nap, and then an hour later go into our room for something and he will be there just chilling and looking around. No complaints! How long was he there just chilling? No idea. Such a pleasure to parent him right now. We just hang out all day long and he loves tagging along with me.
 

Skippy123

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 24, 2006
Messages
24,300
kenny|1317858298|3034188 said:
Circe|1317826574|3033837 said:
kenny|1317791964|3033617 said:
I don't.
I don't think it is healthy to put such an unrealistic expectation on your existence 24 hours a day, no matter what.
That would be fake and exhausting to keep up.

I'm not talking about clinical depression; that's serious and should be treated.

Positive and negative are passing mental states which both can be appropriate for what's going on in your life at the time.

I attempt to stay neutral, authentic, and present in the moment, and not with my head in the clouds in LaLa HappyLand.
What is true and real is okay.

Life is a rich and wonderful combination of varied experiences and tough times help us appreciate the good times.

This. You might also be interested in this: http://www.barbaraehrenreich.com/brightsided.htm.

That woman read my mind.

I want to read this, if I get a chance :))

Person, new jobs can be a bit stressful, just meeting new people, learning about the company and how things are done. I have a job I absolutely loved and the people but I do remember the first few weeks were the hardest! Congrats on the new job!!!
 

pixgirl

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Mar 30, 2010
Messages
245
Exercising every day helps keep me feeling up. Also making jewelry, working on my photography and my new passion, art welding make me happy. :wavey:
 

PositivelyPeanut

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Aug 31, 2011
Messages
132
Yeah, I think pretty much just giving yourself permission to feel whatever it is you're feeling is important, with the idea that you'll feel it and then get on with it. No one is "positive" 100% of the time and we have all of our emotions for a reason... Sometimes it's nice to just "feel"...because we can.
 

rosetta

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 7, 2010
Messages
3,417
I married a happy person. :bigsmile:

No, seriously. It rubs off on me and I'm rolling in clover most of the time. I'm naturally pessimistic.
 
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