Do you ever feel as though your close friends feel competative about your e-rings?

[kittykat]

If so, how does that make you feel?

 

[researcher]

I have one friend who is really competitive, but I''m not a competitive person so it doesn''t bother me. I mean, I feel sorry for her that she feels she has to show people up, and when she can''t, has to put people down. She''s always talking about how other friends of ours have poor cuts or not the right color of diamond. When I told her my diamond was an "I", she was speechless (friends had told me she thought mine was at least a "G"). It was great! And now she can tell everyone that her stone may be smaller but it''s higher quality (hers is an F in color). Whatever. I feel bad for people who think everything is a competition, or that they have to keep up with the Jones''s.

 

[ash]

Ugh! I have this one friend that talks about everyone''s rings but she doesn''t even have one!!

 

[atroop711]

Poor girls....they have issues

.....Anyone who feels that they have to compete is so insecure. I have learned in my long 37 yrs on this earth that the ones who BRAG also love to Drag others down. Half of the time the BRAGGER is greatly exaggerating the truth....

Misery loves company........What a shame!

 

[sjz]

My friends and I have all been married long enough and had our rings long enough that we aren''t really all that competetive with our jewelry. Mostly we just admire one another''s bling. What we ARE competetive about are our cars, homes, and who''s kid get''s better grades...lol.

Back a few years ago, when we were all getting diamonds for the first time, the competition wasn''t so much about "how big" but "how soon". NOBODY wanted to be the last one to get a ring

.

 

[ame]

All of us have different shapes and all are supremely well cut. My friends all have D or E stones, and some asked for smaller stones because they work with their hands so much that they can''t handle something huge protruding. I don''t think size is our concern, I think the fact that they actually WEAR theirs and I don''t. They wonder what''s so important about mine that I can''t risk damage. But they then remmeber that Im insane.

 

[ursulawrite]

Well, I live in the epicentre of hyper-competitiveness (Manhattan), so even remote colleagues and acquaintances try to play this game.

I''ve noticed that I get lesser service in high-end department stores (Bergdorf''s and Bendel''s) because my ring is somewhat modest by NYC standards (I''ve seen the glances and it''s insane how indiscreet some of them are). As for friends, my close friends are not like that at all but my husband''s friends are uber-competitive about everything, though I do believe it''s because they''re all corporate lawyers/bankers/entrepreneurs -- comes with the territory, I suppose -- and my friends are laid-back, more artsy types.

My ring, in its four-year lifespan, has been called "cute", "sweet" and "um, nice". I honestly don''t care a hoof. I''d rather have my fabulous Soho loft than a three-carat ring and still be living in a hi-rise rental, anyway.

 

[fountainfairfax]

Some of my colleagues and business associates are the worst!!!! Yes, some have simply amazing rings that I love to look at, but for the most part what impresses these people is size (regardless of cut) and cost, as in "I didn''t know he loved me THAT much! For what he spent we could''ve knocked 10 years off our Brownstone''s mortgage" Apparently, they haven''t yet learned that money and love are two very different things....

In one company that I deal with 3 women got engaged within a year of each other. The boss was very vocal that no one had better get a ring bigger than hers and when one of her employees was suprised with a ring picked out by her fiance, the boss was miffed that setting was so similar to hers- she now calls her employee''s ring "emerald cut junior." This same group of people told me that it was very wrong to let my BF "get away" with using my inherited stone...the engagement doesn''t mean anything if he didn''t buy the diamond himself or in their eyes it actually means he loves me less than he should! They actually brought this up with one of the other sales people in my company when I wasn''t around, that she should have a heart-to-heart with me because if he couldn''t buy me a diamond we shouldn''t be getting married. Of course she couldn''t wait to tell me...meow, meow

(and I never said he couldn''t or wouldn''t buy me a diamond, just that I was really happy we now had my Aunt''s stone.)

 

[Odilia]

First I will say to kittykat who started this, with gorgeous rings like yours I can see why your friends would be jealous!

I must admit that I am more into beautiful design etc. than in just raw size, and I love the look of your rings. (There are so many beautiful rings here on PS, but some folks'' rings strike me most, and yours are some of them.)

For me, I am not the competitive type, and I''d like to think most of my friends aren''t either. So I don''t think many or most of them are jealous. Plus my current set does not have as much "bling" as many here on PS, although my diamond is somewhat larger than most in my family or circle of friends. My first E-ring setting did have a lot more bling, and back then I got a lot of comments like, "that''s a rock!!!!" or "you can tell [my fiance] has lots of money." The latter I think was said somewhat as a joke, but at the time it was all new to me and it did feel weird. But mostly there was one friend who I think was definitely jealous. Having read fountainfairfax''s comments about the NYC area, I was thinking, my friend that was jealous is from around that area. I think part of it was also the fact that I was engaged to an absolutely fabulous man, and she was still single and no marriage in sight, but partly I think in her circle of friends etc. there was more competition on material things like this. It bothered me at first, but having gotten to know this aspect of her better, I don''t worry about it. I just have to keep that in mind. Not being competitive in that way myself, I am sometimes slow to pick up on it when others are.

 

[kittykat]

Date: 10/5/2005 12:39:32 PM
Author: Odilia
First I will say to kittykat who started this, with gorgeous rings like yours I can see why your friends would be jealous!

I must admit that I am more into beautiful design etc. than in just raw size, and I love the look of your rings. (There are so many beautiful rings here on PS, but some folks'' rings strike me most, and yours are some of them.)


For me, I am not the competitive type, and I''d like to think most of my friends aren''t either. So I don''t think many or most of them are jealous. Plus my current set does not have as much ''bling'' as many here on PS, although my diamond is somewhat larger than most in my family or circle of friends. My first E-ring setting did have a lot more bling, and back then I got a lot of comments like, ''that''s a rock!!!!'' or ''you can tell [my fiance] has lots of money.'' The latter I think was said somewhat as a joke, but at the time it was all new to me and it did feel weird. But mostly there was one friend who I think was definitely jealous. Having read fountainfairfax''s comments about the NYC area, I was thinking, my friend that was jealous is from around that area. I think part of it was also the fact that I was engaged to an absolutely fabulous man, and she was still single and no marriage in sight, but partly I think in her circle of friends etc. there was more competition on material things like this. It bothered me at first, but having gotten to know this aspect of her better, I don''t worry about it. I just have to keep that in mind. Not being competitive in that way myself, I am sometimes slow to pick up on it when others are.

Odillia,
You''re so kind. Thanks for your sweet words.
Now that I''ve gotten some stories, I''ll share mine. I have a friend and she is sooo sweet. We got engaged at the same time and I just know that she''s disturbed that my fi got me a bigger center stone than hers because he''s a student and her fi makes pretty good money. I can''t understand, her ring is just beauatiful. Like for instance when my boss jokeingly asked what size our stones were, she blurted out "well I have 3ct total" after I told him what the size of my center stone is, in this wierd way that''s totally unlike her. Then my boss was joking again the other day about the size of our stones-he asked again and everyone at the table didn''t allow for this strange uncomfortable question to be answered because these things really make me uncomfortable and I ignored the question. She then felt the need to blurt out, "Well my ring only has one flaw!" Again, it was really wierd and threw me off a little. I just looked at her like whoa where did that come from? She has repeatedly scrutinized my stone at every opportunity as if she were looking for flaws-it really makes me feel wierd. My cousin bought his wife a 4ct princess cut stone that everyone talks about and she asked "Well do you think it''s big and just has a tone of flaws"? I just said, "I don''t know, I mean it''s a really pretty stone and sparkles. I''d never thought about that". Maybe I''m just sensitive, but it really makes me uncomfortable. I always see her looking at my ring. She has no reason to feel insecure about hers it''s really really beautiful and quite big, blingy and sparkly! Ugh I don''t get it.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

There's never been issues with my eng. ring because mine is very small and most of my friends have diamonds of around the same size. Where there is a problem is in my other diamonds. The wedding set is fine, but when you add in the other rings, earrings, necklaces, the cattiness starts, so I rarely wear my other pieces when out with a friend or family member!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

This is sort of off topic but sometimes I feel self-concious about my ring. It is bigger than all my friends and both of our moms. Sometimes I think people think I demanded a certain size (I did not) or think I must be spoiled. Sometimes I even try to hide it just so I don''t get strange looks. People have even asked me if it is real. Compared to the rings on here it is baby bling but where I live it is concidered very large. Maybe it is because I look 16

I am the opposite of competitve and it makes me feel bad to even talk about my ring with another engaged/married woman. I think as women we get really attached to our e-rings and the symbol behind it and I would hate it if anyone thought I was showing off mine or make them feel bad about theirs.