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Delicate situation - how to ...

Amethyste

Ideal_Rock
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Jul 7, 2003
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2,201
I have an arkward situation and was wondering if onw of you would have a solution on how to handle this...

If you want to get familiarized with te original situation, please see post :

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/chainmail-the-bane-of-my-existence.147812/

Basically - this former friend/clients has called me names in a chainmail email, but she has booked apointments far ahead until x-mas. Even if there was an sincere apology coming from her, I don't think i can get pass that. Even in the most heated and passionate arguments, I NEVER call people names. It is to me a huge lack of respect... Nor I want to be "friends" with people like that.

I think I should assume that she will not be coming to her standing apts... But I dont really want to assume that either, and see her showing up at my door next week. I really do not want to talk to her nor see her again.

How can I send her an email breaking off the friendship, and also saying that I decided to go ahead and cancel her apointments?

"Hi, considering the latest events, I decided to cancel your future apointments. I think it would be better off if we don't speak to each other anymore. I wish you well."

???
 

Tuckins1

Ideal_Rock
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Considering the way that she treated you (and all immigrants, for that matter :angryfire: ) I think that severing the relationship isn't a bad idea. What you have written seems to the point without getting too personal or hostile. It makes me feel ashamed to be a natural born American when others represent me and my country that way... :nono: Shame on her and her narrow minded friends. People have a right to their own opinion. If you don't like it, just delete the email.
 

Autumnovember

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 28, 2010
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4,384
What you wrote is perfect. Simple and to the point and she will know exactly what the deal breaker was for you.

Seriously, shame on her...she should be embarrassed.

If I were in your position, there would be no turning back for me either.
 

Amethyste

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Thank you for your kind replies, dear ladies.

Just wanted to make sure what i wrote was ok... THank you again.
 

betty6333

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I am glad you are severing the relationship with this person. I don't know what her problem with immigrants is, but it sounds like she has some serious issues. She also doesn't respect you as a person or an american. My husband is a US citizen who immigrated here, if anyone sent him an email saying his religion was "unamerican" and told him he should leave the country if he didnt like it, I would be very offended. He works his butt off and pays his taxes and loves this country. I am sorry that this person has taken leave of her senses, because when you get down to it we are all immigrants who came here if you go back far enough.
 

Nashville

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837
Your response is perfect. She crossed a line, you've set down your boundaries permanently. It's your life and you get to decide who can be in it. I don't blame you one bit and good for you for not taking this lightly. Maybe this will teach her a valuable lesson. Just because she has a certain view of things doesn't mean it's acceptable to express it in such an ignorant way.
 

VRBeauty

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
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Your draft reply sounds good to me. The only thing I might change is to say... best if we end our friendship and professional relationship.

But the wording isn't what counts here... just do it!
 

Amethyste

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THank you ladies...

I replied saying this:

( Her name ) -

Considering the latest events - I made the decision to cancel your future apointments.
I think it would be better for the both of us if we do no speak to each other anymore.
Thank you for respecting my wish.

Be well -


Amethyste

It felt strange to do this - I am usually pretty easy going - but when she started the name calling - It was just too much for me - I knew I couldn't nurture a friendship with someone that thinks lowly enough of you to call you names.
That is the person who organized my 40th birthday party, just a few months ago ... :( I am just really sad that the friendship ended, mostly - the realization that after all these years - at the flick of a switch, you go from being nice and wonderful to being a jerk and insensitive. All of this just for hitting "reply all" and calling the email a hoax. Such a stupid reason and way to terminate a friendship.
I am just sideswiped...

C'est la vie! :roll:
 

Amethyste

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For anyone interested, here is the reply I got:

Thank you for canceling them,I could not agree more. I did not plan to ever see you again anyway's. You are to much a fake!

Even if my email was neutral - she still found a way to call me something anyway...
 

kama_s

Ideal_Rock
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Jul 12, 2008
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3,617
Wow. This woman is absolutely unbelieveable. It's sad that you had to end your friendship, but at least you now know who your real friends are.

Fwiw, I think your response was polite, but firm.
 

Tuckins1

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Amethyste said:
For anyone interested, here is the reply I got:

Thank you for canceling them,I could not agree more. I did not plan to ever see you again anyway's. You are to much a fake!

Even if my email was neutral - she still found a way to call me something anyway...

I'm sorry to say this, but WHAT A BI*#H!!!!!!
 

Indylady

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Apr 28, 2008
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5,636
:???:

Ame, again, I am so sorry! It is always painful to watch a friendship end. I went through the end of a long-ish friendship recently, and it was difficult and heartbreaking. I hope that you are not too stressed or upset. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts!
 

Indylady

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:???:

Ame, again, I am so sorry! It is always painful to watch a friendship end. I went through the end of a long-ish friendship recently, and it was difficult and heartbreaking. I hope that you are not too stressed or upset. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts!
 

Amethyste

Ideal_Rock
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Thank you all so much for the encouraging words...
I have been having a hard time this morning - on the verge of tears... I am just so stunned still. She really got me fooled.

Someone has said to me to not reply to these types of emails - I could have avoided the whole situation here... But what happened happened, and somehow - I am glad I did. I really saw the type of person she is... I don't want to have friends that fly off the handle this easily.

The sad thing is, I was trying to help her daughter to get an externship as a medical assistant through some other friends i have in the medical field. Well, I will not be helping much anymore - especially after the email she sent me!!! She can find her own externship.

Oh........... How I wish I could post all of the emails that went on - but it is somewhat political and I know that it is not allowed here...
 

movie zombie

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 20, 2005
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11,879
i think your e-mail terminating the relationship was well done. i know you feel betrayed. think of it as a learning lesson.....perhaps its better to keep clients in the "business" category no matter how much you'd like to be friends. might keep it clear and clean.

enough time and energy has gone into this relationship: its time to put it behind you, have a good day and do something nice for yourself and remember that you are in control of whether or not you have a good day or a bad day. celebrate the realization that you now have this person out of your life. celebrate that you know what types of people you want in your life and the ones you don't. celebrate by promising yourself that your daily happiness is not dependent on pleasing others but on pleasing yourself. cutting out this cancerous relationship is cause for joy and celebration.

next question: is there anyone else that is a client and/or friend that is toxic to you? if so, perhaps its time to continue with this new assertive behavior and send another e-mail......

mz

ps and, Ms A, remember how absolutely gorgeous you are with that new haircut and color! scrunch up those curls, woman, look into a mirror with a smile, and see your beauty [both inside and out].
 

betty6333

Shiny_Rock
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Well, she has shown her true feelings, and you can now move on. no need to respond or ever communicate again.

Unfortunately it wont take the hurt away... only time can help with that. I am sorry it happened, but I do think it better to know how she feels now than to find out in 10 years. I hope you are able to have a great day even though she made one last petty attempt to ruin it...

(( hug)) it is gonna be ok!
 

gemgirl

Ideal_Rock
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Feb 8, 2003
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5,564
I'm sorry you had to go through something like that Amey. No one wants to have to walk away from someone they once considered a friend, but, in some cases, it's necessary. I think you did the right thing for yourself.
 

rosetta

Ideal_Rock
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Oh my. You are better off without her by far. Resist the urge to reply to that awful email.

Please don't take it to heart. She's not worth it.
 

radiantquest

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Messages
2,550
The only word that I can come up with is SUCKS. It sucks that she is so close-minded. It sucks that a friendship and professional relationship had to end. It sucks that she called you names. And mostly to me, it sucks that there are people out there in our country that feel this way. Um, 95% of Americans were immigrants.

I think that you did very well in your email and she seems very hostile in her reply. A simple I agree would have been fine, but she is a small person and needed to get the last dig in.

I say good for you, you are better off without.
 

Amethyste

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Jul 7, 2003
Messages
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movie zombie said:
ps and, Ms A, remember how absolutely gorgeous you are with that new haircut and color! scrunch up those curls, woman, look into a mirror with a smile, and see your beauty [both inside and out].

That is a very sweet thing for you to say, Mo-Zo. I am really touched. Thank you - it lifted my spirits!!!!

THank you all for your words of encouragement. I am feeling better... I appreciate you all for sharing my sadness...
 

movie zombie

Super_Ideal_Rock
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oh, i'm liking "Mo-Zo" so much more than "mz"! thank you! i'm going to start using that!

Mo-Zo

ps glad to be of help!
 

Burberrygirl

Brilliant_Rock
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Jul 7, 2009
Messages
1,656
Am, that is insane! Ugh, the things people say and do...?! I think your email was perfect. I agree with what ever one else said too, I love your hair and you are much better without her and her rude family in your life.
 

Arkteia

Ideal_Rock
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I think it was so polite but firm. I deeply respect you for your attitude to this problem.
 
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