Christmas gift dilemma- Am I being unreasonable?

[robbie3982]

Date: 10/31/2007 4:01:40 PM
Author: DivaDiamond007

Date: 10/31/2007 2:26:26 PM
Author: susi
Just my opinion...but, I wouldn''t buy a ton of people Christmas gifts.....why do people do this? My DH and I buy each other gifts and gifts for our daughter. That''s it......

We used to do the immediate families....brothers/sisters/nieces/nephews/MIL/FIL. One year, we decided we were not going to do that anymore. That was 20 years ago and that was it.

No one really cared....I think they were relieved that they didn''t have to buy for us......

I''m with you on this one! My husband has 5 siblings (plus their spouses/kids/SO''s) so we do a gift exchange and put a dollar limit on it. Otherwise, it''s too much money to spend. We buy small things for our parents and my sister. I buy something for my boss and my best girlfriend and that''s about it.

Robbie: I see it''s been settled, but I do not think that you are being unreasonable at all. Saving for a house is sooo important, and I wish I''d done that earlier in life. Good luck on your search!

~Jess~

DH is one of 5 kids, so for his siblings and first cousins there is a grab bag with a limit of $35. We definitely don''t want to stop giving gifts to our nieces and nephews though. We don''t go crazy, usually try to keep it to no more than $20/kid, but there are 9 of them, plus our parents, eachother and my sister (I only have one sister and she''d be really hurt if I didn''t get her anything). Maybe it''s not a lot to some people, but to me, who went from exchanging gifts only with my sister, it''s a HUGE difference!

Winternight, we actually do have individual money set aside for each of us to do whatever we want with. DH, however, doesn''t want to use his play money on his presents. We had a separate amount set aside for presents for the whole year, but the $200 gift would''ve gone outside of this budget since it''s presents for everyone for the year. I wasn''t angry that he wanted to get me a present. I was upset that he wants to ignore the budget when we''re saving for something way more important.

 

[lyra]

I think you''re amazingly well organized with your budget. Good for you!

I don''t think having a small limit on personal gifts to each other is unreasonable at all. We''ve done that. Usually it''s accomplished easily by just "filling a stocking" with small gifts. Lots of fun too. Christmas is always about the kids really, yours if you have them, or nephews/nieces if you don''t.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Robbie, I was glad to see that you are not having to buy individual gifts for all those people! It took me years to convince our siblings that we no longer needed to exchange gifts as adults! It was such a hassle trying to find all these $20 gifts for people that could go buy those items themselves if they really wanted them! So finally, in my husband''s family, we all buy a gift for their parents, and the rest of us do the grab bag thing with one gift per member of the family with a $10 limit. These can be gag gifts or useful, so it is always fun but inexpensive. In my family, we just give a $20 gift to the kids and something for my parents.

I didn''t think you were unreasonable, but I would have suggested a compromise of small gifts rather than no gifts. I am glad the coat idea solved the problem!

 

[winternight]

Date: 11/2/2007 3:58:43 PM

Winternight, we actually do have individual money set aside for each of us to do whatever we want with. DH, however, doesn''t want to use his play money on his presents. We had a separate amount set aside for presents for the whole year, but the $200 gift would''ve gone outside of this budget since it''s presents for everyone for the year. I wasn''t angry that he wanted to get me a present. I was upset that he wants to ignore the budget when we''re saving for something way more important.

Oh that''s something different altogether in my opinion. Then it should be a joint purchase/decision. If he wants to spend more that''s what the extra money is for. Sometimes its tough coming up with a present for someone within a budget, maybe you could help him out with a list of suggestions?

That''s interesting though, I haven''t really worked out how I''d like to set everything up when we''re married, but I think I''d rather have presents to each other come out of our personal spending money.