Calling Dreamer & others who've parted with their rings

[LALove]

I'd like some advice please.

I've been saving for an upgrade for about 3-4 years now. I have the money now (if I want a 2-2.5 carat OEC; for a 3 carat, I have to save a bit more).

Well, before I had the money, the idea of spending $$$$ on a ring was totally cool with me. Now that I have all this hard earned money, I'm having second thoughts. There are so many ways I can use this money to benefit my family. Pay down our mortgage (our only debt), put it away for DS's private school tuition.. etc.

I currently have a 5.6 carat eternity which I ADORE! But I cannot justify keeping it AND buying a 2.5ish carat stone. I was thinking I could sell my eternity and put that money towards my upgrade- which would still leave me with a lot of money left. Or I can scrap the idea of an upgrade (for now- until we're older and have more disposable income), keep my band AND get some 2 carat total weight OEC earrings (which I really, really want).

The thing is, I'm afraid I'll miss my band if I sell it.

So, Dreamer, do you miss your solitaire? And if you could pick only one- your gorgeous BGD ring + some OEC studs OR your dream e-ring (assuming cost is the same) -- which would you pick and why?

Thanks in advance!!

 

[Laila619]

Not Dreamer, but I sold my almost 2 carat upgrade diamond last year. Because of the crazy diamond prices, I was able to sell it for more than I paid in 2009. I don't regret it one bit! We're remodeling our house now and we have another baby on the way, and the extra money is super nice to have. It's really pretty freeing.

How often do you wear your band? Do you think you'd be able to sell it for a good price? If you really, really love it, it might be hard to part with. I wasn't too attached to my upgrade so the decision was easy for me. Keep us posted with whatever you decide! Go with what makes you happiest and what makes the most sense.

 

[LALove]

Not Dreamer, but I sold my almost 2 carat upgrade diamond last year. Because of the crazy diamond prices, I was able to sell it for more than I paid in 2009. I don't regret it one bit! We're remodeling our house now and we have another baby on the way, and the extra money is super nice to have. It's really pretty freeing.

How often do you wear your band? Do you think you'd be able to sell it for a good price? If you really, really love it, it might be hard to part with. I wasn't too attached to my upgrade so the decision was easy for me. Keep us posted with whatever you decide! Go with what makes you happiest and what makes the most sense.

Thanks Laila!!

We also plan to remodel and have baby #2 in the next year and I can see how the extra $ would make life a lot easier! I can see it being freeing too! That's exactly why I decided not to keep my eternity AND get an upgrade.

I wear my band every day that I leave the house (work from home so may go days without wearing it). The thing is - it's my only diamond ring. (I sold my original e-ring a few years ago. I didn't love it anymore so have no regrets whatsoever. I used that money to buy my band.) So I'd want to replace it with something if I do sell it. I can get a good price- I've already had a great offer.

I think I'm also reluctant to part with it because finding a great OEC at a GREAT price will take time- maybe months. It'd suck to be with no ring for that long... and if diamond prices keep going up, what if what I want soars out of budget...

 

[FairieMoon79]

I think as women we generally think in terms of others first and have a hard time justifying spending on our money on us when there are so many other things that are for the good of the whole. Its classic mommy syndrome
Alot of it may depend on if you feel this upgrade will be it or if you feel you will upgrade again. If its a long term investment, then the break down of how many years you have it vs what you spent may be completely reasonable.
I havent had any attachments to my rings, everytime I have changed mine ive either broke out even or came out ahead. Do you think whatever you choose will go with your eternity?

At the end of the day, none of us need jewelry. But we all like it. Will there ever truly come a time in life where you wont be able to think of a bunch of other things that would be more justifiable than a ring?

Good luck with whatever you decide!

 

[LALove]

I think as women we generally think in terms of others first and have a hard time justifying spending on our money on us when there are so many other things that are for the good of the whole. Its classic mommy syndrome
Alot of it may depend on if you feel this upgrade will be it or if you feel you will upgrade again. If its a long term investment, then the break down of how many years you have it vs what you spent may be completely reasonable.
I havent had any attachments to my rings, everytime I have changed mine ive either broke out even or came out ahead. Do you think whatever you choose will go with your eternity?

At the end of the day, none of us need jewelry. But we all like it. Will there ever truly come a time in life where you wont be able to think of a bunch of other things that would be more justifiable than a ring?

Good luck with whatever you decide!

I think part of what makes a good family member (not just mom but dad and kiddos too) is always considering the group. That's why I won't spend the money on both an eternity and upgrade. But it's reasonable, given our finances, for me to have one or the other. I just need to make sure I won't regret selling my eternity band- if that's the route I choose.

 

[vintagelover229]

I've tried to convince my DH to let me sell my RB but alas-he isn't going for it. It's much to big for my lifestyle and while I love it and I think it's beautiful-my size 4 fingers would just work better with a carat or less. And the $ we were offered for it was more than double what we paid so that would have been nice to have as well PLUS I love shopping and could have found something perfect for under 3k I'm sure.

That being said I did see a thread saying that the market over here with diamonds could probably go down. If you're not in any rush and you're not sure you even want to part with your other ring you could just hold out and continue saving. You might be able to find what you want in a year or two for a really good deal (or if prices go down) and not have to part with either

You're eternity ring is stunning and if you're not 100% sure about parting with it I wouldn't use the funds right now. Keep tucking away and take a look at the market again in a year or two (and keep your eye out for a good deal prior to that) and maybe your stone will pop up for less than what you expected

 

[Dandi]

I think keeping your band and getting the studs is a lovely idea. You still have a magnificent ring to wear and enjoy, plus some classy earrings, which equals a beautiful everyday jewellery wardrobe to me! And you're not ruling out a potential upgrade in the future, but I think the earrings would be a great compromise at this stage. Plus I lu-hu-huuuuuuuurve your eternity band

 

[fleur-de-lis]

I wear my band every day that I leave the house (work from home so may go days without wearing it). The thing is - it's my only diamond ring. (I sold my original e-ring a few years ago. I didn't love it anymore so have no regrets whatsoever. I used that money to buy my band.)

--VERSUS--

I currently have a 5.6 carat eternity which I ADORE!

Outsider observation: you've revealed a rather significant distinguishing factor between the two situations; might the answer to your question lie in this fact?

 

[Amys Bling]

I think you would miss your eternity band.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

i would keep the eternity band that you love so much, keep saving, and keep your eye out for a killer ebay or preloved deal on an OEC.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

I'd like some advice please.


I currently have a 5.6 carat eternity which I ADORE! But I cannot justify keeping it AND buying a 2.5ish carat stone. I was thinking I could sell my eternity and put that money towards my upgrade- which would still leave me with a lot of money left. Or I can scrap the idea of an upgrade (for now- until we're older and have more disposable income), keep my band AND get some 2 carat total weight OEC earrings (which I really, really want).

The thing is, I'm afraid I'll miss my band if I sell it.

Never sell off something you adore! The only time that's good to sell jewelry is if you're sure of your decision...if you have any fear, then DON'T risk making a huge mistake.

I say hunt down a great pair of pre-loved OEC earrings.

 

[dreamer_dachsie]

To answer your main question I do not regret selling my solitaire

It has been six months or so since I sold it. I love the pieces I got in its stead, and I have gotten a lot of pleasure and enjoyment out of planning and hunting for the purchases I made since I sold it. We are also debt free now (save mortgage and car, which in my world do not count as "debt" ) which is a nice cherry on the cake. Win win win.

I felt a real panic at the notion of having no bling at all. Bling is very symbolic for me, and it hurt to have none for a month or so. Looking back I wish I had just accepted it as a momentary thing rather than feeling rushed to buy something.

I completely get where you are coming from about the mixed feelings too. I adored my solitaire But adoring something doesn't necessarily mean you will yearn the rest of your life if it is gone, at least not to me. I adore things I own. When they are gone, the adoration fades and I adore new things. I have parted with more diamonds and jewelery than I want to itemize (it is a freakishly long list of things I have owned and then sold). Maybe spend some time looking internally to get a sense of what "type" of jewelery person you are. I personally like change, planning a project, deciding on the details. I am a process person when it comes to jewelery, rather than an ownership person per se. I used to have angst about that but now I don't. And other than ribbing from Deco and other hoarders ( ) I accept that my jewelery collection is ever changing and evolving. Nothing is permanent necessarily. This is one reason I will rarely buy something I cannot sell for close to what I paid anymore The downside is I don't buy lovely settings. I am working on this one since I think mounts are worth it even if they are money down the drain, resale wise.

I also utterly and completely hear you on the whole issue of how much money you feel is right to have "tied up" (as I like to say) in jewelery. I am in that little pickle as this exact moment and struggling a little with myself over it again. While we can afford to buy what I would like, I do not think it is responsible. So sometimes I have to make a choice between two options. I have learned that nothing needs to be permanent. If you miss your eternity ring you can likely buy another So you don't need to fear a lifetime of mourning for the "one that got away". There is one exception to this, and that is items that are very unique and rare. Like old cuts. You indeed may never find another matched suite of three OECs for a really good price ever again in your life! To use a completely random and non-personal example I know a few people with fluctuating collections like I have, and the only regret I have heard uttered was over selling old cuts.

 

[dreamer_dachsie]

And if you could pick only one- your gorgeous BGD ring + some OEC studs OR your dream e-ring (assuming cost is the same) -- which would you pick and why?

This question deserved its own post because I am in this situation right now. I realized last night that if I sell my Aurora, my 1ct OEC, and my 1.35cttw OEC pair, I would have enough to buy my diamond holy grail if I can find a good deal: A 2ct+ OEC. I know I talked in the past about not liking a large diamond, but part of that was the money tied up in the stone, and the fact that in RBs I am not a big fan of tint. I feel quite differently about large OECs because the cut looks good with warmth and because they can be found for such deals if you are crazy and hunt like a deamon. So anyways, I don't know what I would do. If you have an answer let me know!

ETA: Or sell my Aurora and 1ct and get a 1.5ct OEC for a center stone in a monster three stone ring Options options options.

One thing that factors into my decision is that modern RBs are so easy to find and you can always replace a ring made with modern RBs -- this is Kelpie's advice and something to take to heart.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Dreamer...I could buy into the idea of not doing the three stone ring in order to sell the 1 ct. to save toward a larger stone. But I think you'll regret selling the matched .70's, I really do!

LALove...I also consigned my diamond and bought another that was very similar but lower priced because of fluorescence and excellent cut but not H&A. I did have some pangs the other night of wondering if I did the right thing...not that I don't love the new stone because I do, but because the other was a little larger visually and a really perfect stone. But I have gotten over that because my reasons were valid for doing it at the outset.

I have a couple of suggestions for you. I do think it is wonderful to have both an eternity and a wedding set with a solitaire. But if you don't feel it is wise to keep a 5+ ct. band and have a wedding set, then there are some compromises you can make and still have two rings. The best option, I think, is to sell the eternity and buy a 5 stone band with stones the same size that were in your eternity. You'll basically have the same bling factor on the top of your finger which is mostly what we can see anyway (plus it is more practical because you don't have to worry about hurting the diamonds on the underside when you grasp things). I will often wear my 5 stone ring when I am running out and don't want to wear my set for one reason or another. Another option would be to go to a 3 ct. eternity which is a lovely size for a stand-alone eternity, but I think the 5 stone is really a better idea so you wouldn't have DSS!

 

[Amys Bling]

Calling Dreamer & others who've parted with their rings

And if you could pick only one- your gorgeous BGD ring + some OEC studs OR your dream e-ring (assuming cost is the same) -- which would you pick and why?

This question deserved its own post because I am in this situation right now. I realized last night that if I sell my Aurora, my 1ct OEC, and my 1.35cttw OEC pair, I would have enough to buy my diamond holy grail if I can find a good deal: A 2ct+ OEC. I know I talked in the past about not liking a large diamond, but part of that was the money tied up in the stone, and the fact that in RBs I am not a big fan of tint. I feel quite differently about large OECs because the cut looks good with warmth and because they can be found for such deals if you are crazy and hunt like a deamon. So anyways, I don't know what I would do. If you have an answer let me know!

ETA: Or sell my Aurora and 1ct and get a 1.5ct OEC for a center stone in a monster three stone ring Options options options.

One thing that factors into my decision is that modern RBs are so easy to find and you can always replace a ring made with modern RBs -- this is Kelpie's advice and something to take to heart.

Monster 3 stone

 

[partgypsy]

Is there a way you can get a replica of the size and look of the solitare you are considering? If so, get that, and lock up/hide away your eternity band for a good while (weeks-month). See how you feel. I know the replica won't be EXACTLY the same, but it would give you an idea whether you could get used to not wearing your eternity band.

I also like the idea of getting a 5 stone band to replace the eternity band, to have your cake and eat it too!

 

[Amys Bling]

Calling Dreamer & others who've parted with their rings

Is there a way you can get a replica of the size and look of the solitare you are considering? If so, get that, and lock up/hide away your eternity band for a good while (weeks-month). See how you feel. I know the replica won't be EXACTLY the same, but it would give you an idea whether you could get used to not wearing your eternity band.

I also like the idea of getting a 5 stone band to replace the eternity band, to have your cake and eat it too!

great suggestions. This will allow you up see how much you miss your band. "downgrading" to a five stone may allow you to have the best of both worlds!

Decisions decisions

 

[Cehrabehra]

I agree with those who've said you should keep your eternity. But for whatever its worth this is the way I view them... eternity rings are beautiful and they're a delightful piece of jewelry. I have a 3 stone right now that I really love and appreciate as a piece of jewelry. My big diamond I don't appreciate as much as a piece of jewelry so much as a thing of beauty. Like wearing a painting or statue on my finger. As jewelry I think it's a little over the top, but I can't help myself because I am ridiculously in love with the big facets. If you want to be lost in a diamond only a big one is really going to do that. But if you like diamonds and diamond jewelry, you can get a heck of a lot of beautiful sparkle out of a neverending row of diamonds and have a great statement piece as well. But you're not likely to get lost in any one of them in particular.

 

[LALove]

Thank you everyone for your responses!

DS came down with a sinus infection + earache and the antibiotics he's on have a side effect of insomnia so it's been quite a fun time over at our house! I'll come back to respond to everyone as soon as things settle down.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Awww, sorry to hear that and hope he is better soon!

 

[LALove]

Sorry it’s taken me so long to reply – as soon as DS recovered from being sick, he immediately caught yet another bug (gotta love the first few months of starting preschool!).

Laila619 , FairieMoon79 , vintagelover229 , DandiAndi , fleur-de-lis , Amys Bling , Bella_mezzo , MC , Dreamer_D , diamondseeker2006 , part gypsy and Cehrabehra – thank you all so much for your opinions and thoughts! I’ve taken everything into consideration and finally made a decision.

What really helped me decide is the house hunt we’ve been on for the past 10 months. DH and I must have looked at hundreds of houses in this time and the only ones that we truly loved and wanted to live in for 15+ years were all built between 1860-1920 with loads of charm (original wood floors, built ins, moldings etc). We passed up so many "nice" newer houses because they just didn't feel like home. Our Realtor does not get how we can pass up huge new homes with granite kitchens, huge bedrooms etc and instead offer on quirky smaller historic homes with lots of issues that need fixing. The historic homes literally fill me with happiness when I see them - this doesn't happen to me when I look at modern houses. To me, the RB eternity is like the nice new homes - nice to look at but it doesn't take my breath away.

And here's why I don't think I'll really miss my eternity: #1 I can get another smaller one right away (I really love the ones I've been seeing on PS with 15-20 point stones) and #2 When we didn't get the 2 newer houses we did feel OK with making an offer on, I was not sad AT ALL. But when we had to pass on a 1920s brick Tudor and a 1890s farmhouse (both had major structural issues among other big problems) I cried and cried and cried. Big new house = big RB eternity; quirky historic home = antique diamond. Soooo..... I'm selling and will keep an eye out for a good deal on an antique stone!

On another note, I think we may have FINALLY found THE house!!! Inspection is in 2 weeks so we don't know for sure yet but it looks like this could be it! It's a Greek/Italian Revival built in 1862 and it's 5 minutes from work and my parents! It's SO adorable and, once we put on the additions we're planning on, it will be perfect for us!

 

[Amys Bling]

Sorry it’s taken me so long to reply – as soon as DS recovered from being sick, he immediately caught yet another bug (gotta love the first few months of starting preschool!).

Laila619 , FairieMoon79 , vintagelover229 , DandiAndi , fleur-de-lis , Amys Bling , Bella_mezzo , MC , Dreamer_D , diamondseeker2006 , part gypsy and Cehrabehra – thank you all so much for your opinions and thoughts! I’ve taken everything into consideration and finally made a decision.

What really helped me decide is the house hunt we’ve been on for the past 10 months. DH and I must have looked at hundreds of houses in this time and the only ones that we truly loved and wanted to live in for 15+ years were all built between 1860-1920 with loads of charm (original wood floors, built ins, moldings etc). We passed up so many "nice" newer houses because they just didn't feel like home. Our Realtor does not get how we can pass up huge new homes with granite kitchens, huge bedrooms etc and instead offer on quirky smaller historic homes with lots of issues that need fixing. The historic homes literally fill me with happiness when I see them - this doesn't happen to me when I look at modern houses. To me, the RB eternity is like the nice new homes - nice to look at but it doesn't take my breath away.

And here's why I don't think I'll really miss my eternity: #1 I can get another smaller one right away (I really love the ones I've been seeing on PS with 15-20 point stones) and #2 When we didn't get the 2 newer houses we did feel OK with making an offer on, I was not sad AT ALL. But when we had to pass on a 1920s brick Tudor and a 1890s farmhouse (both had major structural issues among other big problems) I cried and cried and cried. Big new house = big RB eternity; quirky historic home = antique diamond. Soooo..... I'm selling and will keep an eye out for a good deal on an antique stone!

On another note, I think we may have FINALLY found THE house!!! Inspection is in 2 weeks so we don't know for sure yet but it looks like this could be it! It's a Greek/Italian Revival built in 1862 and it's 5 minutes from work and my parents! It's SO adorable and, once we put on the additions we're planning on, it will be perfect for us!

so great to hear how things are working our for you! I think that downsizing the eternity band for smaller and then looking for a killer steal on the PS preloved forum or ebay is a great way to have your cake and eat it too!