? 4 Moms

[kenny]

I'm old and honestly did not find out what "gay" meant till I was in my 20s.
"Nice" people in the 60s just did NOT discuss that.
Today kids are exposed to the subject early.

Certain discussions with kids are appropriate for certain ages.

I'm curious ... at what age do you say what about this subject?
What would you say to a 4 year old who asks about it?
What would you say to a 14 year old?

Do you feel what you say, or how you say it (with approval, neutrality or disapproval) might affect your kid's sexual orientation?

 

[sonnyjane]

I'm not a mom, but I wanted to say that when I was in high school, there were already 14-15 year old boys that were openly gay, so I'd say they definitely knew what it meant by that age!

I don't think what a parent says can influence the actual sexual orientation of their child, but being supportive would certainly make for a happier life for a child if they felt they could express themselves to their parents freely as opposed to a parent that spoke negatively about homosexuality and might force their child, if homosexual, to suffer in secrecy by not being able to express that.

 

[Jennifer W]

I don't think I see it as an age-related matter. It's just a fact, it just is. My own kid is four, and growing up with friends who have same sex parents. Doesn't seem to be an issue we'd need to sit down and discuss, it's just normal, no?

What I say to a four year old - X and Y live together and love each other / are married to each other (as appropriate) same as mummy and daddy are. What I'd say to a fourteen year old (and borrowing from Stonewall) - some people are gay, get over it.

I will at an appropriate age, tell my child about sex. Not heterosexual or homosexual sex, just sex. Sex between consenting adults. (In my head, that appropriate age is about 36, but in reality, we probably need to have the conversation in early teens at least).

My main issue here is that I have no idea what my child's sexuality is going to be. If I present her with one norm, and her norm is different, that isn't helpful to anyone. So, it's just sex - not gay sex and straight sex. And no, I don't believe what and how I tell her about sex will affect her sexuality. I don't believe you can 'make' someone straight or gay. What you can do is make them miserable about themselves though, and that's what I'd hope to avoid.

 

[Rosebloom]

I don't think I see it as an age-related matter. It's just a fact, it just is. My own kid is four, and growing up with friends who have same sex parents. Doesn't seem to be an issue we'd need to sit down and discuss, it's just normal, no?

What I say to a four year old - X and Y live together and love each other / are married to each other (as appropriate) same as mummy and daddy are. What I'd say to a fourteen year old (and borrowing from Stonewall) - some people are gay, get over it.

I will at an appropriate age, tell my child about sex. Not heterosexual or homosexual sex, just sex. Sex between consenting adults. (In my head, that appropriate age is about 36, but in reality, we probably need to have the conversation in early teens at least).

My main issue here is that I have no idea what my child's sexuality is going to be. If I present her with one norm, and her norm is different, that isn't helpful to anyone. So, it's just sex - not gay sex and straight sex. And no, I don't believe what and how I tell her about sex will affect her sexuality. I don't believe you can 'make' someone straight or gay. What you can do is make them miserable about themselves though, and that's what I'd hope to avoid.

This exactly!

 

[iLander]

It's different world now, Kenny. At my DD's high school there are openly gay boys and girls, with boyfriends and girlfriends. Nobody cares. It's just accepted among the kids today, I never talked about it with either child. If one had asked I would have said "Yes, he's gay, he prefers men," and left it at that. Not really worthy of a sit-down talk, that would make it seem like a big deal. Which it really isn't anymore. The kids today are totally accepting.

BUT THE PARENTS! There was a wonderful instructor, who was gay, and he was "let go" last year when parents complained that he was hugging the kids too much. I didn't even know (or care) that he was gay, just that he was a great guy who was at every game, dance, and event, cheering the kids on, for 10+ years. Bunch of a$$es ruined it for everyone.

And of course you can't affect a kid's orientation by talking, anymore than someone can talk me into being gay. But bigoted parents will cause a kid to stay in the closet a lot longer, and alienate the child.

 

[Haven]

I'm not a mom yet (couple more weeks!) but I don't think this is going to end up being a big "talk" with our kid.
We have several close gay and lesbian friends, my godmother is a lesbian, so baby is going to grow up with a number of gay loved ones. I think it's just going to be a normal thing in our childrens' lives.

Here's an interesting story: I have twin girl cousins, they're currently 7-years-old. As soon as they could express themselves, one of them identified as a boy. She refused to wear girls' clothing, including girls' underwear, and when asked if she's a boy or a girl she used to say, "I don't want to talk about it." She continues to dress and act like a boy to this day. My aunt and uncle support whatever she wants to do. (This may be more about gender identity than sexual identity, I understand that, but we don't know yet.) Nobody had any discussions with her about gender, this is something she just naturally did. Her twin sister is as girly as can be.

I guess my point is that I think sexual orientation (and gender orientation) are natural things and we cannot affect our children's sexuality by talking about what it means to be gay.

Interesting article from the NYTimes Magazine: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/12/m...who-wants-to-wear-a-dress.html?pagewanted=all

More to your original question, here's an awesome children's book, And Tango Makes Three, about the subject. A librarian friend just gave a copy to us as a gift for our baby.
http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/117997.And_Tango_Makes_Three

 

[Kaleigh]

I'm old and honestly did not find out what "gay" meant till I was in my 20s.
"Nice" people in the 60s just did NOT discuss that.
Today kids are exposed to the subject early.

Certain discussions with kids are appropriate for certain ages.

I'm curious ... at what age do you say what about this subject?
What would you say to a 4 year old who asks about it?
What would you say to a 14 year old?

Do you feel what you say, or how you say with approval neutrality or disapproval, might affect your kid's sexual orientation?

I can only talk from my personal experience. My brother was gay, I say was because he lost a battle with AIDS in 1993.
I was proactive about talking to my parents about my brother. Proactive in trying to mend things with my grandparents who would not accept that he was gay. When my brother came out to me, I wasn't shocked. I was just glad he felt comfortable in coming to me.

I think questions should be answered according to their age and what their minds can grasp. As you say people vary not every kid is the same and some can handle more info than others.

The key is telling your kids you will love and accepet them no matter what .T hat they should be there for friends that are having a hard time or are being bullied. And to tell them to let you know if their friends are struggling.

A 4 year old would be something I would turn around and say why do you ask??

14 year old they need to be taken seriously and most know before that in my experience any way...

Poeple are born this way. Nothing I say as a parent would change their orientation. How I handle it makes their life a lot easier.

 

[Deactivated member 42515]

I'm not a mom yet. But I openly accept and support same sex relationships. I will be teaching my children the importance of equality and that love is love no matter what sex.

I have a friend that shocked me the other day tho. I mean like SHOCKED me. I couldn't believe the words coming out of her fiancé's mouth. He told us that she asked him that if they ever have a child, and that child was gay, he had to promise that he will BEAT the gay out of him. And she wouldn't relent until he promised. I was enraged. I don't remember the last time I was so angry. Even writing it right now, I am shaking I am so angry. I never knew she was this way... What's weird is she accepts other gay people but she says when it comes to her children, she is gonna beat them until they accept its wrong.... I wanna slap her... But I know that everyone has their opinions but god.... Is it 30 years ago?

Sorry for the rant... It just really shocked me....

 

[Deactivated member 42515]

Being gay is not a disease. I hate it when people say this.

Disease definition:
A disordered or incorrectly functioning organ, part, structure, or system of the body resulting from the effect of genetic or developmental errors, infection, poisons, nutritional deficiency or imbalance, toxicity, or unfavorable environmental factors.

How can anyone say being gay is a disease after reading this definition?

ETA: I'm sorry. I get so upset about this subject.

 

[lyra]

I'm curious about why you're asking, Kenny. Hopefully there is no issue you're facing with anyone or their children.

My daughter was 9 when her best friend's father came out. He was married, so it was difficult all around. I was so saddened and shocked though, when the girl's mom came to my door (1996) and explained the situation and asked if we would still let our daughter play at their house. She actually wept when I told her it made no difference to us. They moved into a duplex so that their daughter had constant contact with both parents and the new SO of the father. We helped them move, and gave them all housewarming gifts.

In highschool, the same daughter became close friends with the only openly gay boy in that school. He knew he was gay when he was 11. He was tormented throughout his elementary and high school years. It was sad. His parents have always been very accepting and supportive. My daughter goes to the gay pride parade with him every year, and has faced being called a lesbian simply because she supports her friend. I don't get that. She's 25 now though and is very confident with herself and hopes to work with LGBT kids when she's done school.

I don't remember having to discuss this sort of thing with my kids because they knew that I was open to everything. I'm super liberal and my husband is super conservative.

I believe that gay people are born that way, and that it's just a natural thing. I will go out of my way to educate others having any problems with my point of view.

 

[ponder]

I have a 3.5 year old, and I would imagine that initial conversations concerning being gay would stem from her observations about other kids families that differ from hers. Ex. My DD: "Mommy, (insert kids name from her preschool class) has two mommies/daddies. Me: "oh, that's nice". Or DD: "Mommy, why does (insert kids name from her preschool class) have two mommies/daddies?" Me: "Some kids have one mommy and one daddy, like you do. Some kids have two mommies/daddies. Some kids dont have mommies or daddies; they just live with their grandmas and grandpas. Some kids have brothers and sisters like you do, some kids don't. Families come in all sort of shapes and sizes." At this age sex and sexuality is a non issue, it more about validating their observations and modeling appropriate attitude and behavior toward homosexuality.

I also have a 12 year old niece who lives with us part time. If I recall correctly this subject has come up. My niece "OMG, did you know that (insert celebrity) is gay???" Me: "Yes, so what?" My niece: " I just can't believe I didn't know that!" Me: "Does it make a difference?" My niece: "What do you mean?" Me: "Does it make a difference about how you feel about them now that you know that they are gay?" My niece: "But, he is sooooo hot!"

Kids are exposed to so much generic sexuality, including positive homosexual individuals and relationships these days on tv that the stigma of homosexuality (that you refer to) seems to be really no big deal to them. That being said, I still think there is alot of stigma for being gay as a teen/preteen in everyday life. I am really unsure of how she would have felt if she were referring to a classmate instead of a celebrity. Unfortunately, all the negativity I hear from kids about being gay comes straight from their parents and grandparents.

 

[iheartscience]

I'm not a mom yet. But I openly accept and support same sex relationships. I will be teaching my children the importance of equality and that love is love no matter what sex.

I have a friend that shocked me the other day tho. I mean like SHOCKED me. I couldn't believe the words coming out of her fiancé's mouth. He told us that she asked him that if they ever have a child, and that child was gay, he had to promise that he will BEAT the gay out of him. And she wouldn't relent until he promised. I was enraged. I don't remember the last time I was so angry. Even writing it right now, I am shaking I am so angry. I never knew she was this way... What's weird is she accepts other gay people but she says when it comes to her children, she is gonna beat them until they accept its wrong.... I wanna slap her... But I know that everyone has their opinions but god.... Is it 30 years ago?

Sorry for the rant... It just really shocked me....

Anyone who said this would be my ex-friend immediately. What a psycho.

 

[Deactivated member 42515]

I'm not a mom yet. But I openly accept and support same sex relationships. I will be teaching my children the importance of equality and that love is love no matter what sex.

I have a friend that shocked me the other day tho. I mean like SHOCKED me. I couldn't believe the words coming out of her fiancé's mouth. He told us that she asked him that if they ever have a child, and that child was gay, he had to promise that he will BEAT the gay out of him. And she wouldn't relent until he promised. I was enraged. I don't remember the last time I was so angry. Even writing it right now, I am shaking I am so angry. I never knew she was this way... What's weird is she accepts other gay people but she says when it comes to her children, she is gonna beat them until they accept its wrong.... I wanna slap her... But I know that everyone has their opinions but god.... Is it 30 years ago?

Sorry for the rant... It just really shocked me....

Anyone who said this would be my ex-friend immediately. What a psycho.

I know. The thing is is that her fiancé told us in confidence. She told him in confidence but he felt like he needed to tell us. He doesn't want her to know that we know.... I haven't been able to hang out with her tho and have been avoiding her. I need to figure out what I need to do.

 

[iheartscience]

I'm not a mom yet. But I openly accept and support same sex relationships. I will be teaching my children the importance of equality and that love is love no matter what sex.

I have a friend that shocked me the other day tho. I mean like SHOCKED me. I couldn't believe the words coming out of her fiancé's mouth. He told us that she asked him that if they ever have a child, and that child was gay, he had to promise that he will BEAT the gay out of him. And she wouldn't relent until he promised. I was enraged. I don't remember the last time I was so angry. Even writing it right now, I am shaking I am so angry. I never knew she was this way... What's weird is she accepts other gay people but she says when it comes to her children, she is gonna beat them until they accept its wrong.... I wanna slap her... But I know that everyone has their opinions but god.... Is it 30 years ago?

Sorry for the rant... It just really shocked me....

Anyone who said this would be my ex-friend immediately. What a psycho.

I know. The thing is is that her fiancé told us in confidence. She told him in confidence but he felt like he needed to tell us. He doesn't want her to know that we know.... I haven't been able to hang out with her tho and have been avoiding her. I need to figure out what I need to do.

If I were you, I would tell the fiance to dump her immediately, seeing as how she's forcing him to promise to abuse their future children. Then I'd tell her she's a bigot and never talk to her again.

 

[minousbijoux]

Kenny, what a great topic!

When I grew up - about your age, Kenny - I remember learning the word "sodomy" from the musical "Hair" that my mother took us to see (I loved it, btw). I think I was about 9 and I asked my brother (two years older) and he told me. My mom had friends who were openly gay, and why would we care that instead of a man and a woman living together, it was two guys? After all, we all knew that grownups stopped having sex after they had kids, and/or were "old" like 30-plus.

Where I live now this is a nonstarter. I come from a fairly big family with lots of aunts and uncles for the kids. The uncles they've grown up knowing the best are their "uncles" that live next door (one of the strongest love match/partnerships that I know). My boys also have grown up with a lot of same sex parents of their friends, so I don't think they care at all. They were both livid when Prop 8 passed in California and were outraged that two people couldn't marry like many others could. When we talked about why, they were dumbstruck to know that there is a contingent of people in this world that for whatever reasons, think same sex couples and marriage are wrong.

Now as teenagers, I think they wouldn't really care if a friend of theirs turned out to be gay - in fact, I think they have friends who've never hidden their sexuality.

 

[JaneSmith]

I'm old and honestly did not find out what "gay" meant till I was in my 20s.
"Nice" people in the 60s just did NOT discuss that.
Today kids are exposed to the subject early.

Certain discussions with kids are appropriate for certain ages.

I'm curious ... at what age do you say what about this subject?
What would you say to a 4 year old who asks about it?
What would you say to a 14 year old?

Do you feel what you say, or how you say it (with approval, neutrality or disapproval) might affect your kid's sexual orientation?

My daughter was two when she announced she wanted to marry me because she loved me. I told her that only grown ups get married, and that if she found a nice woman or man she loved and who loved her too, she could marry them. She has also told me a couple of times that she wants to be a boy, so I say 'OK, you're a boy', and treat her no differently.

There is no way anything I can do or say would effect her sexual orientation, but it will certainly effect how she feels about it and if she talks to me about it.
Even if there was such a thing as choosing to be gay, there is nothing wrong with two people loving each other.

Kenny, if you didn't know what gay meant until your 20's, what did you think was going on with you? I hope you didn't have a rough time.
YayTacori, I second thing2's suggestion. That person is a dangerous hateful bigot. I'm utterly appalled, shocked, and disgusted.
Kaleigh, I'm so sorry you lost your brother.

 

[Enerchi]

I'm not a mom yet. But I openly accept and support same sex relationships. I will be teaching my children the importance of equality and that love is love no matter what sex.

I have a friend that shocked me the other day tho. I mean like SHOCKED me. I couldn't believe the words coming out of her fiancé's mouth. He told us that she asked him that if they ever have a child, and that child was gay, he had to promise that he will BEAT the gay out of him. And she wouldn't relent until he promised. I was enraged. I don't remember the last time I was so angry. Even writing it right now, I am shaking I am so angry. I never knew she was this way... What's weird is she accepts other gay people but she says when it comes to her children, she is gonna beat them until they accept its wrong.... I wanna slap her... But I know that everyone has their opinions but god.... Is it 30 years ago?

Sorry for the rant... It just really shocked me....

I can't believe her thought process! Did she just ride into town on a dinosaur??? Wow... And to have her fiance PROMISE to "beat the gay out of them"???? OMG. If that was not a very sick joke, and she truly believed this... that would just have to be a deal breaker for me. That is so far from how I feel and what I believe and have shared with my own kids, that I just don't think I could support someone who truly felt that way. I guess you could 'agree to disagree' and not talk about it, but for me, that would be one helluva giant white elephant in the room.

I'm stunned. Good luck YT on this relationship. That's a pretty intense situation to discover that about someone you thought you knew. I hope you find the best way to cope, that feels right for you.

 

[kenny]

Kenny, if you didn't know what gay meant until your 20's, what did you think was going on with you? I hope you didn't have a rough time.

Thanks.
But yes, it was rough.
No prom.
No dating.
No nothing till age 23.
It was like a huge part of healthy normal kid-to-adult development simply did not take place, and when it finally did I was 23 with no peer group to share it with, support me and relate to.
Image if you locked your adolescent in a freezer for a decade.

Oh well. It is what it is and I survived, but sure it was rough.
I'm sure I'm more F-ed up than I would have been if I was born in 2012.

Lucky for today's kids, the bigots are losing.

 

[Kaleigh]

Kenny, if you didn't know what gay meant until your 20's, what did you think was going on with you? I hope you didn't have a rough time.

Thanks.
But yes, it was rough.
No prom.
No dating.
No nothing till age 23.
It was like a huge part of healthy normal kid-to-adult development simply did not take place, and when it finally did I was 23 with no peer group to share it with, support me and relate to.
Image if you locked your adolescent in a freezer for a decade.

Oh well. It is what it is and I survived, but sure it was rough.
I'm sure I'm more F-ed up than I would have been if I was born in 2012.

Lucky for today's kids, the bigots are losing.

Really sorry Kenny. I am glad kids today have it a tad easier that you did. And hoping each kid going foward has it better than the next. I am a strong believer of paying it forward. I have done so with a local group.
I am not saying you should but think you have a lot to offer.

Great topic. I want to add my god son is gay, had a very hard time. I was glad I could talk to him , not that I helped in any big way. But he knew I knew what he was going through.

I think the biggest thing is understanding. Today there are many lifestyles and the like. This IS the new normal.

 

[kenny]

Yes, thank you.
Things are improving.

 

[KaeKae]

Very interesting topic.

In our house, gay marriage became a daily topic during the lead up to election day, the year Prop 8 was on the ballot. Weeks before that day, there were people demonstrating at a very busy intersection we passed through on the way to school, both for and against the proposition. The subject came naturally out of that situation, and I was able to convey my belief that all people should have the opportunity to marry. At the same time, there were rather deceiving tv and radio commercials on the issue, (made claims that schools would have to teach about homosexuality and churches would be required to perform the ceremonies, both false) which provided more times to talk about it.

More recently, my 12th grader is taking a Government class, and the topic has been debated there. DD1 is very firm in her support for gay marriage, and willing to share her feelings. Interestingly, another child in the class is adamantly against it, and actually told DD1 that her opinion is invalid! (this other girl is a pill, apparently she is this way about everything) The teacher shut that down, quickly, but I think the experience only reaffirmed my daughter's feelings on the subject. She KNOWS she is right (as most teenagers do, but I have to agree with her here) and is willing to stand up to the opposition on the subject.

Kenny, I am so sorry you've had such a difficult time. Funny that you should mention prom, my junior prom date is gay. Not that it was ever discussed during our Catholic high school years. We've reconnected, thanks to Facebook. I haven't had the chance to talk to him in person about anything, let alone this, but it sure wasn't discussed back then. We weren't dating, we went with a group of friends, and had a great night. But, I know if he'd wanted to go to the prom with another boy, that would never have been allowed. It just wasn't a possibility in most schools then, let alone ours. I know in my daughter's public high school, students are able to attend with a same-sex date, but they have to sign an agreement that there will be no PDAs. Can you believe that? It's 2012, not 1983.

 

[sonnyjane]

I know in my daughter's public high school, you are able to attend with a same-sex date, but they have to sign an agreement that there will be no PDAs. Can you believe that? It's 2012, not 1983.

Well, kudos to them for allowing same-sex couples to attend prom, because many schools don't allow that, but how lame of them to make you sign a waiver that there will be no PDA! They should make the girl/boy couples sign the same waiver! I don't want to see ANYBODY getting hot and heavy at a dance, regardless of their sexual orientation!

 

[KaeKae]

Exactly, sonnyjane! You said it before I could go back and add it.

 

[SB621]

There is a great quote out there that I will completely mangle...."Homosexuality is found in over 450 species. Homophobia is found in only 1."

I have 2 kids, both toddlers. First and formost I just want them to be happy in this world that already has enough problems. If one of them comes out then of course I will be sad, but only because I have seen how awful acceptance can be. As other posters have already mentioned though homosexuality is changing for this generation and it is much more openly accepted then it was in the 80's or 90's.

I'm not sure if I will have have a sit down with my kids and explain the difference between heterosexual and homosexual. In general I try to teach my children to not judge others and be open/ tolerant/ respectful of others in regards to their personal life.

 

[AGBF]

I'm old and honestly did not find out what "gay" meant till I was in my 20s.
"Nice" people in the 60s just did NOT discuss that.
Today kids are exposed to the subject early.

Certain discussions with kids are appropriate for certain ages.
I'm curious ... at what age do you say what about this subject?

My parents were avant garde. They used the correct anatomical words for body parts and functions while talking to me from the earliest days. I remember embarrassing my mother at age 2 or 3 by asking if a man at a lunch counter had a penis. (I think because I was so verbal early, I have memories from a very early age.)

I was very young indeed when my mother told me that people could have partners of the same sex and that good friends of her and my father had loved each other and been together for many years. Although we were in a tiny Connecticut town with dirt roads, we were only 40 miles from New York City and they had both gone to graduate school there. I think that their left-wing, sophisticated, rebellious, anti-authoritarian, questioning attitude was atypical of that day. (I grew up in the 1950's, after all!)

Deb/AGBF

 

[isaku5]

Thinking back to my early years as a teacher, several students seemed 'different', but in my naive mind, that was all it was - different people, different personalities - maybe more 'girlish' than other guys, or two guys hanging out together while in school. They were friends, that's was it. No big deal, it seemed, for anyone.

Fast forward to the early 80's when our daughter went out with a great guy. If anyone knew that he was homosexual, no one told us. In 1985, they married. It was a lovely garden wedding and everything went smoothly. On their first wedding anniversary, I got a call from our daughter and she was hysterical. I finally got her calmed down enough to get some details. SIL had told DD that he was gay and wanted a divorce! To say I was shocked would be an understatement. His parents were beyond words too.

I didn't think that either set of parents had lived in a bubble all our years. What an expensive wakeup call for us. My mother insisted that I should know how to 'fix' him because after all, I had gone to university

As has been said, a four year old neither wants nor needs details. Someone in his/her playgroup mentioned the subject and the child wants to know what it means - two guys or girls liking each other more than they liked people of their opposite gender.

At 14, I'd be wary and perhaps have a heart to heart discussion about sex and how it's affecting them. Totally non-judgmental; just wondering...

Every aspect of our lifestyles has changed so much for the better - kids are much more worldly now. Just consider the difficulty of defining 'family'.

Sorry for the lengthy post.

 

[dreamer_dachsie]

If my kids asked about it at a very young age -- too young to understand sex -- I would tell him that some men love women and some men love men. I believe its a normal and just fine thing either way. Its the same way I answer his questions about why his best friend at pre-school has two homes (one for mommy and one for daddy): some mommies and daddies are better friends than married partners. It's just one of those differences in life, and one way of being is not better or worse than another.

I actually try to be somewhat gender neutral in my comments about my son's future spouses too, not automatically assuming that they will marry women. You never know! And I want my kids to know I accept them no matter their choices in life. But more generally, I think its important to use neutral language anyways, because language conveys so much about norms and values and I believe in egalitarian values.

I do not think my attitude about sexuality will affect my boys' sexual preferences. Sexuality is a much more complex thing than that. But I do believe my attitudes and language will affect *their* attitudes and language. If I am open and positive, then they will be open and positive too, I hope. I want my boys to grow up knowing, in no uncertain terms, that its ok to be gay. Believing that will help them if they are gay, and it will also make them more accepting and openminded if they are straight.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

It is amazing how easily influenced kids are at a young age. My boys are 10 & 12 and, as a voter in WA State, gay marriage was on the ballot. I did vote in favor of it and part of the reason I did was because I love my kids and will always love them no matter what their orientation is by them knowing this, they will always feel comfortable telling me their feelings and not hide anything from me. Also, I don't want them to judge others for who they chose to spend their lives with. It seems everything has worked out fine. Both boys do feel that people should be able to marry whom they wish and told me if they could vote, they would vote in favor of gay marriage.

 

[monarch64]

We have a six month old. We certainly don't plan to influence our child to be one orientation or another, and will definitely support whatever choice our offspring makes when the time comes.

I fully expect that when our baby is prepubescent and realizes that there are differences in humans, we will have plenty of discussions about those differences. We have no problem with that and welcome any and all dialogue on the subject. Love and acceptance are integral parts of our home environment and this child will be given all the tools possible to forge a successful life in this world.

Edited for clarity!

 

[justginger]

This exact subject was addressed in an article I read online yesterday.

http://www.mamamia.com.au/parenting/the-gay-talk/

To many kids, including my own, having gay parents is as unremarkable as being adopted or being an only child. Gay people are embedded into their world to the point where The Gay Talk is kind of redundant (I am slightly sad about this to be honest because I adore a Learning Opportunity).