Waiting to TTC...

[Sha]

Anybody else waiting to TTC? I see peonygirl and Pandora are... I''m also HOPING to try within the next three months or so (first anniversary), fingers crossed. Actually, I''m ready now, but still waiting for DH to get on board.

I don''t feel like we have much time, though.... I''ll be 32 this month and DH turned 40 last month. I wish we could just get started now already, especially since we don''t know how long it''ll take.

(sigh...!) I''m lurking on Baby boards all day and reading everyone else''s stories to pass the time. Had a preconception visit already, and am just trying to eat healthier and lose about 5 pounds before TTC. I rejoined the gym today, actually.

That''s about all I''m doing to prepare... and taking my folic acid too, of course.

It''s still hard waiting, though...

Anybody else in this boat? What are you doing to prepare/pass the time?

 

[neatfreak]

There are a few others on the TTC thread itself. I am sure you would be welcomed there!!

 

[dani13]

Sha, I am right with you, sweetie!!!! We are also waiting a bit to TTC (at LEAST till next summer, maybe later). I will be 30 soon, and DH is 33. We have only been married 9 months, so the major reason we are waiting is b/c we just want some time together alone before children. Once you have them, its really never about you two anymore, you know? Also, we want to get more settled financially, as in have a really nice nest egg for while I am on maternity leave, and for the kid in general....I dont think you have to worry about the age thing...You are still young, and men, well, they are pretty much good to go, even at 40-50 yrs old! The thing is, both of you need to be on board to be able to make this very important, life changing decision. MH and I both recognize that there will never be a "perfect" time to have a child, but we just know at this specific time we aren't ready for them.....Between now and then, we are just going to do our best to enjoy eachother, travel, save $$$... just do all the things that may not be so easy to do once we have kids.

Try not to be upset.....I know easier said than done, but your time will come...PROMISE!!!!

 

[Pandora II]

Date: 6/4/2008 10:24:31 PM
Author:Sha
Anybody else waiting to TTC? I see peonygirl and Pandora are... I''m also HOPING to try within the next three months or so (first anniversary), fingers crossed. Actually, I''m ready now, but still waiting for DH to get on board.

I don''t feel like we have much time, though.... I''ll be 32 this month and DH turned 40 last month. I wish we could just get started now already, especially since we don''t know how long it''ll take.

(sigh...!) I''m lurking on Baby boards all day and reading everyone else''s stories to pass the time. Had a preconception visit already, and am just trying to eat healthier and lose about 5 pounds before TTC. I rejoined the gym today, actually.

That''s about all I''m doing to prepare... and taking my folic acid too, of course.

It''s still hard waiting, though...

Anybody else in this boat? What are you doing to prepare/pass the time?

I''m 36 in August if that makes you feel any better!

I''m not too worried though - my mother only hit the menopause this year at 59. Both she and I were ''late developers'' so that should give me a bit more leeway apparently.

One thing I have done, as we are on quite a tight time schedule for financial reasons, is to sign up to Fertility Friend. I''d been tracking anyway for the last 6 months and thought I''d do it a bit more in depth so that I know where we are when we actually start and can maximise the chances of conceiving quickly. All my female blood relatives get pregnant VERY quickly - first or second month of trying max, so I''m bound to be the exception...

I have a slight problem in that we are going to Sri Lanka for our honeymoon in October (a honeymoon baby would be nice

), and I would prefer not to risk being 4 weeks pregnant when we go, so I only really have October/November/December ideally. If it takes longer, it''s not the end of the world, but it would make life more difficult financially when I''m on maternity leave.

I''m seeing my GP and my psychiatrist in the next couple of weeks to talk about the meds I''m on. I can''t come off them at all, and they''re both Category C which means it''s a bit of a risk, but I''ve done a lot of reading up and feel that it''s a risk I can take. I''m very high risk for PND as so we need to discuss all of that too.

As high risk I''ll be a definite consultant led case, and my local hospital has the best maternity unit in London. My uncle and one of my best friends are both gynaes so I have been getting loads of advice - and nagging to get a move on from them. I am so going for all the painrelief I can, sod natural birth, unless the anaesthesia man is standing by with that epidural I''m just going home!

I still find the whole idea truly terrifying and can''t even begin to imagine myself with a baby - neither can anyone else I know!

 

[dreamer_dachsie]

Date: 6/5/2008 9:32:37 AM
Author: Pandora II

Date: 6/4/2008 10:24:31 PM
Author:Sha
Anybody else waiting to TTC? I see peonygirl and Pandora are... I''m also HOPING to try within the next three months or so (first anniversary), fingers crossed. Actually, I''m ready now, but still waiting for DH to get on board.

I don''t feel like we have much time, though.... I''ll be 32 this month and DH turned 40 last month. I wish we could just get started now already, especially since we don''t know how long it''ll take.

(sigh...!) I''m lurking on Baby boards all day and reading everyone else''s stories to pass the time. Had a preconception visit already, and am just trying to eat healthier and lose about 5 pounds before TTC. I rejoined the gym today, actually.

That''s about all I''m doing to prepare... and taking my folic acid too, of course.

It''s still hard waiting, though...

Anybody else in this boat? What are you doing to prepare/pass the time?

I''m 36 in August if that makes you feel any better!

I''m not too worried though - my mother only hit the menopause this year at 59. Both she and I were ''late developers'' so that should give me a bit more leeway apparently.

One thing I have done, as we are on quite a tight time schedule for financial reasons, is to sign up to Fertility Friend. I''d been tracking anyway for the last 6 months and thought I''d do it a bit more in depth so that I know where we are when we actually start and can maximise the chances of conceiving quickly. All my female blood relatives get pregnant VERY quickly - first or second month of trying max, so I''m bound to be the exception...

I have a slight problem in that we are going to Sri Lanka for our honeymoon in October (a honeymoon baby would be nice

), and I would prefer not to risk being 4 weeks pregnant when we go, so I only really have October/November/December ideally. If it takes longer, it''s not the end of the world, but it would make life more difficult financially when I''m on maternity leave.

I''m seeing my GP and my psychiatrist in the next couple of weeks to talk about the meds I''m on. I can''t come off them at all, and they''re both Category C which means it''s a bit of a risk, but I''ve done a lot of reading up and feel that it''s a risk I can take. I''m very high risk for PND as so we need to discuss all of that too.

As high risk I''ll be a definite consultant led case, and my local hospital has the best maternity unit in London. My uncle and one of my best friends are both gynaes so I have been getting loads of advice - and nagging to get a move on from them. I am so going for all the painrelief I can, sod natural birth, unless the anaesthesia man is standing by with that epidural I''m just going home!

I still find the whole idea truly terrifying and can''t even begin to imagine myself with a baby - neither can anyone else I know!

If you are as thoughtful and caring in real life as you seem on the internet, then I''m sure you will be a great mom, Pandora!

Good idea for a thread, Sha. And I second Pandors, start charting well in advance of TTC, and go off hormonal bcp in advance too, since for many people, including myself, it can take a number of months for your fertility to regulate again and return to full capacity!

 

[jcrow]

"I still find the whole idea truly terrifying and can''t even begin to imagine myself with a baby - neither can anyone else I know! "

is totally how i feel. i''ve gotten the "you don''t seem like the mom type" comments before. youch! that stings.

we''re going to try at the end of 09. i''m not sure if i''ll ever feel ready, but it''s something we can''t exactly put off forever you know?
if it takes then i''d be about 30 when i''d deliver.

so, we''re playing the waiting game. and we''ve been waiting. we got married in 06.

 

[blushingbride]

Date: 6/5/2008 11:10:45 AM
Author: jcrow
''I still find the whole idea truly terrifying and can''t even begin to imagine myself with a baby - neither can anyone else I know! ''

is totally how i feel. i''ve gotten the ''you don''t seem like the mom type'' comments before. youch! that stings.

we''re going to try at the end of 09. i''m not sure if i''ll ever feel ready, but it''s something we can''t exactly put off forever you know?
if it takes then i''d be about 30 when i''d deliver.

so, we''re playing the waiting game. and we''ve been waiting. we got married in 06.

LOL...I felt that way too UNTIL I got married last August. It was like my biological clock started ticking loud and fast. But, you have to remember that I''m 30 now and DH is 33 so, that probably has a lot to do w/ it. The way I look at is that there''s always going to be a reason to put it off so, I have to keep reminding myself of that. BTW Jcrow - I think you''d make a wonderful mom!

 

[erica k]

I've been married two years now, and when I mention having children, most friends say 1) "Your babies will be so beautiful (well-dressed)!" and/or 2) "You don't really seem like the parenting type"

Maybe it's because I'm not super friendly with other people's children. Anyway, my husband and I have been sorting through some major growing-up issues, but things are really starting to look up. So I guess I'm starting to feel hopeful again about having children. I already started pre-natals in February and am on my second cycle post Pill. I do a lot of lurking, trying to learn as much as I can about the process. Maybe in a few months, maybe not. We'll see!

 

[lisa1.01fvs1]

Hi Erica,

I don''t consider myself the uber-nurturing type of mommy person.

I am not that interested in other people''s kids to tell the truth.

I mean we play with others just I don''t gush and fawn unless I really think the kid is cute, talented, etc.

Never thought I could tolerate babies, never babysat, never had any interest.

But then Olivia came and I was in LOVE

.

Don''t worry your instincts will totally kick in.

Check out TTC - I''ve been busy knitting a few things

Lisa

 

[happy in love]

We are hopefully going to start trying in July... not too far away, but I can''t wait! I''ve gone off the pill and am taking prenatals and researching like crazy (just how I am I guess). Some days I think we are totally ready, and then sometimes I lay in bed, cuddling with DH and think, Hmmm... am I ready for this to change???

There are so many people who share their opinions with us (un-solicited mind you) and its funny, half expect that kids should come soon for us, the other half thinks we are "rushing" and are "making a mistake" because we should spend time just being married first. We can both understand the benefits of waiting, we were just married in April, but we are both excited and anxious to become parents. And, might I add that my grandmother was knitting us a baby blanket at our rehearsal dinner!!!

Our original plan was to start trying in the fall, but we bumped it up a few months since summers are so hot where we live so I am hoping to get pregnant before September (just hoping, not expecting) so I can avoid being 8-9mo along in triple digit heat!

 

[robbie3982]

We''re planning to start TTC in November. We got married in September, so we''ll have been married for just over a year when we start and almost 2 years when I give birth if we get pregnant right away. I kept pushing DH to tell me when he thought he''d want to start TTC and he kept saying he didn''t know then one day he said November. No reason, just November. Now after all that pestering him about when he thought he''d be ready, I''m starting to get nervous! Are we really ready for this?! So, tentatively November, but I have a feeling November will come faster than we think and it may get pushed back.

 

[erica k]

Lisa

Thanks for the reassurance! My husband can see how others would think that I''m hands-off with children in general, but if my total love for my two cats is any indication, I should be ok.

I don''t mind the idea of stretchmarks, morning sickness, projectile vomiting(the baby, not me!), expenses, etc., but the thought of being sleep-deprived makes me nervous. But it''s probably better if I try and have a baby while my schedule is more flexible, that way I can sneak in cat naps more frequently!

 

[jcrow]

Date: 6/5/2008 11:53:36 AM
Author: lisa1.01fvs1
Hi Erica,


I don''t consider myself the uber-nurturing type of mommy person.


I am not that interested in other people''s kids to tell the truth.


I mean we play with others just I don''t gush and fawn unless I really think the kid is cute, talented, etc.


Never thought I could tolerate babies, never babysat, never had any interest.


But then Olivia came and I was in LOVE

.


Don''t worry your instincts will totally kick in.


Check out TTC - I''ve been busy knitting a few things

Lisa

Gives me hope.

 

[blushingbride]

Date: 6/5/2008 1:34:15 PM
Author: jcrow

Date: 6/5/2008 11:53:36 AM
Author: lisa1.01fvs1
Hi Erica,


I don''t consider myself the uber-nurturing type of mommy person.


I am not that interested in other people''s kids to tell the truth.


I mean we play with others just I don''t gush and fawn unless I really think the kid is cute, talented, etc.


Never thought I could tolerate babies, never babysat, never had any interest.


But then Olivia came and I was in LOVE

.


Don''t worry your instincts will totally kick in.


Check out TTC - I''ve been busy knitting a few things

Lisa

Gives me hope.

LOL Lisa!

 

[Rosebud8506]

I am kinda in the same boat as you gals.


We were married in August 06, so we are approaching our 2 year marker anni, and while babies have been on my mind a lot lately since about 4 of my friends have gotten prego in the last 2 years, I am still trying to picture how much my life would change. It is a BIG step to have children, so taking some time to think about it I think is the way to go and there is nothing wrong with it.

DH doesn''t mind the idea of starting a family, but he seems to still think the idea is "VERY far away". He turns 30 tomorrow and I am 29 - so we would def. be in our 30''s by that time. It is nice to know there are other ladies out there that feel the same! Thanks for starting this thread up! I lurk around the other prego related threads, but all the stuff is so foreign to me. Man, I really need to sign up for a course on all things related to baby! It is way overwhelming

 

[Rosebud8506]

Date: 6/5/2008 1:34:15 PM
Author: jcrow

Date: 6/5/2008 11:53:36 AM
Author: lisa1.01fvs1
Hi Erica,


I don''t consider myself the uber-nurturing type of mommy person.


I am not that interested in other people''s kids to tell the truth.


I mean we play with others just I don''t gush and fawn unless I really think the kid is cute, talented, etc.


Never thought I could tolerate babies, never babysat, never had any interest.


But then Olivia came and I was in LOVE

.


Don''t worry your instincts will totally kick in.


Check out TTC - I''ve been busy knitting a few things

Lisa

Gives me hope.

I don''t really fawn over people''s kids either. I am always a bit scared the little one will start crying once they are in my arms! I am sure it is different when it is your own though

 

[Sha]

It''s good to know others are at the same stage! Thanks for the reassurance about not being ''too old'', Dani and Pandora, although I really do feel old sometimes. Especially since most women start having children in their early 20''s, where I live. It''s like you''re some kind of leper if you''re 30+ with no kids.

Anyway, that doesn''t bother so much, except it was always my ''plan'' too, to have at least one child before hitting 30. But that didn''t work out, since I only met DH when I was 29, and got married at 31.

happyinlove, it''s funny... every couple with children so far has told us to ''wait a while'' before having children, because everything changes once you do. I do agree that having that alone time together as a couple is important, and I really enjoy our ''couple time'' now. At the same time, though, I feel like we can''t ''afford'' to wait much longer because of our respective ages. Kind of makes me wiish I was still in my 20''s....

The thought of having a baby does freak me out a bit sometimes, as well....but mostly it''s excitement. It is a big life change. I do wonder how my body will change too, since my mother gained a lot of weight when she was pregnant with us.

Forgot to mention that I also came off BCP two months ago..... not to TTC, but because of the side effects I was experiencing (weight gain, low sex drive). So far I feel much better off it, and am learning how my body works at the same time. I''m also on Fertility Friend and started temping today, so by the time our TTC date comes around I should hopefully know what I''m doing.

So how many children do you guys want? Are your DH"s all on board with the TTC plans?

 

[dani13]

I am TOTALLY into kids- always have been and always will be...I love them, and cant wait to be a mom one day. Alot of people tell me that they think I will be an awesome mother when my time comes, which is really nice!!!!

But that time is not coming anytime soon...LOL!!!

I am pretty sure I would like to have 3 children...seems like the perfect number, but we'll see!!! I always joke with MH that we are going to have 3 girls, which I know would be his worst nightmare b/c he is such a man's man, all into his sports and everything....But, its all in good fun....Honestly, we would be happy with whatever we got.....we just want our kids to be healthy and happy! That's the most important thing!!!!

 

[Sha]

Ha! I hope you get at least one boy, for your husband''s sake!

Men seem to prefer boys, for obvious reasons, I guess. Me, I''m partial to girls....and I really hope I have at least one. Two girls would be fine, or one girl and one boy, but just give me at least one girl!

I think 3 is a good number as welll. I always wanted to have 3...but DH and I compromised (he preferred 1 and I preferred 3

), so it looks like it''s going to be 2.

 

[happy in love]

Sha~ I''m sure we will miss our alone time together, especially since we are so much more relaxed and easy going these days since the wedding planning is behind us. It''s crazy to think that we are about to turn our lives upside down once again. But, there are so many reasons for us not to wait, so I guess we will just have to work it out

DH wants 3, I am on the fence about that... 2 seems like my limit, but I am coming around slowly. We don''t want them too close together, so when you start adding things up time seems to be working against us and our plans.
The other thing that is crazy to me is how I worked so hard to be in great shape for the wedding and here we are 2 months later talking about stretching it all out... sheesh!

 

[robbie3982]

Date: 6/5/2008 5:22:26 PM
Author: happy in love
Sha~ I''m sure we will miss our alone time together, especially since we are so much more relaxed and easy going these days since the wedding planning is behind us. It''s crazy to think that we are about to turn our lives upside down once again. But, there are so many reasons for us not to wait, so I guess we will just have to work it out

DH wants 3, I am on the fence about that... 2 seems like my limit, but I am coming around slowly. We don''t want them too close together, so when you start adding things up time seems to be working against us and our plans.
The other thing that is crazy to me is how I worked so hard to be in great shape for the wedding and here we are 2 months later talking about stretching it all out... sheesh!

They actually say that the better shape you''re in when you get pregnant, the easier it will be to get back in shape after. I''m in the process of trying to get in the best shape possible right now and if our plans don''t change, we''ll be TTC in 5 months. I plan to keep working out as long as can after getting pregnant too. Obviously, not as much as I do now, but I don''t want to get completely out of shape if I don''t have to.

 

[Sha]

Date: 6/5/2008 5:28:59 PM
Author: robbie3982

Date: 6/5/2008 5:22:26 PM
Author: happy in love
Sha~ I''m sure we will miss our alone time together, especially since we are so much more relaxed and easy going these days since the wedding planning is behind us. It''s crazy to think that we are about to turn our lives upside down once again. But, there are so many reasons for us not to wait, so I guess we will just have to work it out

DH wants 3, I am on the fence about that... 2 seems like my limit, but I am coming around slowly. We don''t want them too close together, so when you start adding things up time seems to be working against us and our plans.
The other thing that is crazy to me is how I worked so hard to be in great shape for the wedding and here we are 2 months later talking about stretching it all out... sheesh!

They actually say that the better shape you''re in when you get pregnant, the easier it will be to get back in shape after. I''m in the process of trying to get in the best shape possible right now and if our plans don''t change, we''ll be TTC in 5 months. I plan to keep working out as long as can after getting pregnant too. Obviously, not as much as I do now, but I don''t want to get completely out of shape if I don''t have to.

Same here!

 

[lisa1.01fvs1]

Erica, Jcrow, Rosebud - glad to be able to share honestly. U guys will be great - the fact that u are worried is the best sign.

BB - I couldn''t help knitting myself into a frenzy!!!!

Sha - I''m 39 if that gives u any perspective

and DH is 40.

Regarding sleeping: it depends on the kind of kid u get.

Of course we got the firecracker, fiery, alert baby who never slept until 1 yr old about 2 months ago!!!!!!

I am just now becoming able to shave on a reg. basis but what''s a few days of hairiness anyway?

I just wear pants.

 

[peonygirl]

Hey there! I saw my name and came running. DH and I are waiting 3 more months to start trying so that we can have the baby right after he graduates from med school and I can finish some classes I need to take next year. Our 1-year anniversary is in less than a week.

I've been taking prenatal vitamins and omegas-3 for about 6 months, and this month I went off the pill and started tracking my cycles. We are both soooo excited about this since we have wanted kids forever. DH asks me what my temp is every morning and he gets excited when it's where he thinks it should be. I've been on birth control for 7 yrs, so this will (hopefully) be my first time ovulating in a long time. We're 25 and 28, but we feel very ready so we're going to go for it. Good luck to everyone else!

 

[Pandora II]

Date: 6/5/2008 4:44:01 PM
Author: Sha

So how many children do you guys want? Are your DH''s all on board with the TTC plans?

We''re going to start with one and then see (this is when I land up with triplets...).

I definitely want a 5 year age gap if we do have two. The idea of two infants screaming at me is hell. My sister has this and I would seriously go mad.

I''d like a girl, so I''d be more likely to have two if the first is a boy. FI would like a boy though, so one of us will be super-thrilled whatever it is!

I''m not maternally minded in the least. I have yet to pick up either my 4 year old niece, 2 year old nephew and have only held FI''s 14 month old niece once - at which point she burst into tears...

However, I totally adore my pythons (eat once a month, poop once a month) and my hedgehogs (eat once a day, poop lots of times a day - see, I''m learning

) so I''m hoping that natural instinct will kick in.

I was talking to my mother about it last week and she said she found it very hard to bond with me (she is a VERY maternal type and wanted 10 kids - ended up with 4). I think it was probably due to my having Aspergers and hating being touched in any way - I used to go completely rigid and scream the place down. I was not a cuddly or affectionate child, just wanted jigsaws, colouring and books.

FI has very good emotional intelligence so I think he will be a great father and he is aware of my fears and says he''ll help if I get worried about things. He''s very good at calming me down and less stressed.

 

[Sha]

Pandora and peony, it''s great that you have such emotionally supportive DH''s. It sounds like they''re excited about TTC too - that''s wonderful! HOPEFULLY, we''ll be all be TTCing together in the next couple months.

 

[sunkist]

Date: 6/5/2008 1:24:55 PM
Author: robbie3982
We''re planning to start TTC in November. We got married in September, so we''ll have been married for just over a year when we start and almost 2 years when I give birth if we get pregnant right away. I kept pushing DH to tell me when he thought he''d want to start TTC and he kept saying he didn''t know then one day he said November. No reason, just November. Now after all that pestering him about when he thought he''d be ready, I''m starting to get nervous! Are we really ready for this?! So, tentatively November, but I have a feeling November will come faster than we think and it may get pushed back.

We''re waiting right now too. Robbie I''m basically in the same situation that you just described above. The date hubby gave me was this summer, June/July. I thought I''d be off BC now, but June came and it was too soon for hubby, and admittedly it was probably too soon for me too

Now I have no idea when we/hubby will be ready but I''m doing my best to wait patiently. I think I''m doing a better job at being patient now that I did while a LIW

Things I do to pass the time - baby names! I search baby name websites and keep lists of names I like. So far I don''t think I''ve found a name that both my hubby and I like. This name stuff is hard. I also like to look at nursery furniture/and baby gear or think about how we''ll cram all that kind of stuff into our small apartment. Will we have to give up our TV room? Where will the TV and couch go? haha- things like that.

Does anyone else''s minds fill with these sorts of questions?

 

[sunkist]

I wish I could get off BC and start temping with the rest of you! My hubby doesn''t want to take any chances until we''re both ready. So I''m staying on BC until we''re officially TTC. But I''m so interested in learning to temp and to see if my body will still produce eggs!

But I think it''s pointless to do it while I''m still on BC, too bad.

 

[Sha]

Date: 6/6/2008 9:40:47 PM
Author: sunkist

Date: 6/5/2008 1:24:55 PM
Author: robbie3982
We''re planning to start TTC in November. We got married in September, so we''ll have been married for just over a year when we start and almost 2 years when I give birth if we get pregnant right away. I kept pushing DH to tell me when he thought he''d want to start TTC and he kept saying he didn''t know then one day he said November. No reason, just November. Now after all that pestering him about when he thought he''d be ready, I''m starting to get nervous! Are we really ready for this?! So, tentatively November, but I have a feeling November will come faster than we think and it may get pushed back.

We''re waiting right now too. Robbie I''m basically in the same situation that you just described above. The date hubby gave me was this summer, June/July. I thought I''d be off BC now, but June came and it was too soon for hubby, and admittedly it was probably too soon for me too

Now I have no idea when we/hubby will be ready but I''m doing my best to wait patiently. I think I''m doing a better job at being patient now that I did while a LIW

Things I do to pass the time - baby names! I search baby name websites and keep lists of names I like. So far I don''t think I''ve found a name that both my hubby and I like. This name stuff is hard. I also like to look at nursery furniture/and baby gear or think about how we''ll cram all that kind of stuff into our small apartment. Will we have to give up our TV room? Where will the TV and couch go? haha- things like that.

Does anyone else''s minds fill with these sorts of questions?

Hi sunkist,
How long have you been married?

Care to share any of the baby names you won''t be using? I haven''t thought about that stuff yet. DH and I both like African names, though, because of our Afro-Caribbean heritage and because African names are usually rich with meaning. Aside from that, though, I like ''Jahnika'' for a girl (pronounced JAH-nika).. Saw it somewhere and always liked it. What kind of names do you like?

Anyone else thought of names yet?

 

[Pandora II]

FI and I were discussing names today.

We''d gone to feed the squirrels in St James''s Park - so cute, we''d taken nuts and they come and sit on your knee or shoulder to get them. One was convinced I''d hidden one down the back of my jumper and was all set to go burrowing.

FI said we really needed some children so we could take them to do that.

We stopped off for dinner at the restaurant in the park, and we were sitting there admiring the view of the lake and I said it was rather frightening the thought of changing our lives as we have such a nice time as we are. No, he says, I want to move one, we need a baby.

So then we got onto names:

Boys: Robert (shortened to Bertie), Edward, Bertrand.

Girls: Daisy, Pandora, Melissa, Layla. I also like Matilda, but FI doesn''t and my cousin just called her child that - oh, and my father had a goat called Matilda when I was little!

I like Melissa a lot, especially the meaning - honey bee. But I hate Mel, which it could get shortened to.

I like quite traditional but slightly unusual names. I''m not keen at all on first names that sound like surnames - but they''re not common in the UK, you tend to find them used by people from very low socio-economic backgrounds (They all seem to call their children Taylor, Jordan, Tiffany, Chelsea. Our flat is in an estate that is 70% welfare housing and there are 5 Chelsea''s out of 8 kids!)

Higher socio-economic backgrounds go for names like Emily, Olivia, Chloe, Sophie, Tilly, Charlotte etc for girls and James, William, Oliver, Joshua, Benjamin, Edward etc for boys

I find it really interesting looking at all the data for the USA and the UK over the years as you seem to have the exact opposite!

My FSIL who''s from the USA hates the traditional names her husband likes, and the names she suggests he just looks horrified! I can''t wait to see what their kids end up with.