The Official TTC for 6 Months or More Thread

[lili]

Thank you HMG, Sha, Mrs, onedrop, Bella, Laila, LaurenTP, Missjaxon, charbie, dcgator, Steal, CDN, lovelylulu, and Bliss for the thoughts and prayers. As much as I'd like to believe that I had ovulated later, the logical part of me knows what the next u/s is going to show. If I hadn't gotten a BFP 5 days after the supposed O date, I'd be more incline to hold onto that hope or miracle. I'm doing okay for the most part -- have processed and accepted what is to come. I guess it just wasn't meant to be.

Steal--
*much hugs* I'm sorry to see you go but I completely understand.
I truly believe that you and your DH will be blessed w/ a little one eventually.
Hopefully I'll see you pop back on FHH forum on the preggo thread.

Charbie--
*hugs* for the rough weekend.
Great post to Steal. That pretty much sums up what I was thinking.

onedrop--
A belated welcome ^.^
You couldn't find a greater group of ladies for support and advices here.
I'm sorry to hear about your negative experience w/ your RE.
Hope you find one who isn't quick to suggest ART, but I have to say that given our "advance maternal age", most doctors will push for ART since we really don't have the luxury of time to try the patient "wait and see" approach.
I hope your stay here is short and sweet!

LTP--
Ugh about the oral surgeries.
At least you got those out of the way and don't have to worry about the effect it will have on the baby later.
I'm sorry to hear about your friend's diagnosis-- sending her thoughts and prayers.

DC--
I'm so happy to see that you, RC and the other newly preggos are doing well.
I'd like to cheer you guys on over there, but it was a little too early and too close for me at the moment. I thought I was ok, but I teared up when I peeked over there and saw RC's u/s.
I'll definitely check on your ladies when you sport your little bellies ^.^ in the preggo thread.
To answer your question, there was a 2 wks discrepancy in the u/s.
Like I said above, I would have a little more hope if I didn't get a solid positive 5 days after the one time we BDed after my window.

Bella--
Sorry about your DH's pulled groin and his rough patch w/ school, unemployment, and swimmers.
He didn't have his SA done yet right? Why not get the first SA done first and then do the ice pack if it comes back not optimal?
Most time, dr would order a second SA if the first sample isn't great.
But I know most guys just don't want to have evidences that remotely indicates that their swimmer is less than stellar.

Ugh, hate it when you have to do someone's job.
But that's great you caught it sooner though.
Good luck w/ the homestudy!

ParrotTulip--
Glad to hear that the fibroids and adenomyosis are harmless.
Sounds like you've got everything ready to go for the new year.
Wishing you all the best ^.^
And your sister is a gem!

Gaby--
We love having you around too.
Do keep us posted. In the meantime, enjoy your break from TTC.

Po--
Hope you are doing well.


-----------
Anyway, back to lurking here on out.
Good luck to everyone!
I hope to see some more BFPs before the end of the year or at the beginning of next year.

 

[dcgator]

Lili - I am just so sorry for you loss, but I am glad that it seems you have come to some sort of acceptance with it. I will continue to keep you and your family my prayers. As for keeping up with RC and me, don't even worry about it. You just take your time and come back when you feel ready. I have very much appreciated your words and advice and I look forward to seeing you again soon.

Bella - CONGRATS on completing your home study! If that stupid agency gives you any more problems, just send the paperwork my way and I will get it taken care of ! As for your DH, I am sorry to hear he is in a bad way right now. I have been a couple months in between jobs and I know it can be a frustrating and emotional time, so all I can say, is just try to support him. But, don't be afraid to voice your concerns to him about his downward trend. Sometimes, when you are in that kind of situation, its hard to see where you are going and who you are effecting, so a concerned, yet constructive conversation might be good for him. Regarding the sudden swimmer stress, I think you just need him to get his focus on something else, like getting the house ready for the forthcoming little one(s) but I do agree that talking to a doctor is best. While Dr. google is quite knowledgable, all the info he is getting may not be the best advice for his particular situation. I would try to approach the situation like, yes, if that is what the doc recommend, I'm all for it, but let's make sure that's the best possible solution and not risk taking a step backwards by doing the wrong thing. Either way, good luck with the hubby and adoption stuff and let us know how it goes.

CDN, LTP, Miss Jaxon and Gaby - How are you ladies doing? Long time, no speak. I hope all is well.

 

[onedrop]

Bella: SO happy the home visit went well! Of course I don't know you IRL, but from what I read, I couldn't see the visit going any other way!

As for your DH, I feel for him. He's got a lot on his plate now, but hopefully time will heal all of the work/school related stress. DCGator gave some really good advice. Just try your best to assure him that you have his back and support him. Definitely encourage him to express his feelings about not working right now as hard as that may be for him. Perhaps once school starts and he is engrossed in that, some of the stress will be alleviated. As for the SA...I think the not knowing is potentially more stressful than knowing that there is a problem. DH did an SA without much hesitation, but then again request came directly from the Dr., so I think he was more willing to do it right away since it didn't come from me, if that makes any sense. However with everything else you two have going on right now, if I were in your shoes I'd probably encourage DH not to place a lot of emphasis on the swimmers at this point. And to perhaps focus more attention to school and getting ready for the LO waiting for you in Ethiopia as DC Gator suggested. I am sending many positive thoughts your way that your DH's mind gets eased and the can get into school with no problems and that the adoption process goes smoothly from this point on!

lili: so happy to see you check in, and thanks for the welcome!! You are totally right about our "advanced maternal age" and and RE pushing ART. Logically, I understand why they push it, but emotionally....I am not yet ready to accept it. But given my age, I'd better get on the stick very soon! I really, really appreciate your comments. It helps to know that my feelings do not exist in a vacuum. FWIW, I am still hoping for a miracle with your little bean. Hugs to you!!!

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Lili-Thinking of you! Huge hugs to you!

One Drop-thanks so much for the vote of confidence!!!

AFM-We've had a roller coaster past 2 days. A 2-3 year old boy was on the waiting child list for our adoption agency (no current families with the agency were interested in adopting him)...we inquired about him on Tuesday and thought and prayed about it all day yesterday (and most of last night) and decided this morning for sure that we wanted to adopt him.

We called our agency at like 6am their time, and emailed, and then called 10 minutes before they opened so that we could officially talk to someone...and they said another family whose paperwork is all done has also decided they are interested so they get priority since their paperwork is done. They have 48 hours from now to decide, but they are very interested in him so it is likely that they will chose to adopt him.

I am so happy that eitherway he gets a wonderful family, but DH and I both feel like our hearts just got ripped out of our chests and stomped on....this sucks! A lot! I'm sitting at my desk at work trying not to cry. I have so much work to do and I can't focus at all...this feels way, way worse than a BFP or AF. I can't even describe it. We just really felt like he was meant to be our son.

Then, DH just called and said the car died in the middle of the road out of the blue, he almost got hit by a truck (thank goodness he is ok!), and now he's waiting for roadside assistance...this sucks too!

I know that God has the perfect plan for us and for this little boy, but today just really sucks!

 

[Steel]

I had to delurk: ((Hugs Bella))
It was such a wonderful opportunity - I am truly sorry it looks like it is not working out because of stupid paperwork. I'll bet he is a great little boy and of course I KNOW you two would be wonderful parents. Keep hope. And get that car checked out!

 

[E B]

Huge hugs, Bella. You're doing such a wonderful thing and if not this little boy, another lucky child will get to have you as a mom in no time. (But I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this little guy is the one.)

 

[Bella_mezzo]

thanks so much EB and Steal!

Steal, glad to kow that you are lurking

EB-We're holding out hope too but it is a very thin thread...

Right now, we're just praying very very hard.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Oh Bella, your child will come along soon, and it will happen when you lease expect it.

My inspirational story for you is about my very close family members. There were many strange detours on their road to being parents of three -- the whole process to get three kids took them 20 years. Many years of medical help later, they had two sons. And just this week, after 2.5 years of waiting, paperwork, and a few bribes I suspect , they have finally taken custody of a little daughter in mexico! It was a long road for them and they thought it would not happen (they are 50 years old) but boy you should see their faces in the pictures. Their 10 and 14 year old sons are also ecstatic. Exploding with joy. Now they cannot take her out of the country for 3 more months so they are setting up shop down there! Mexico is like their second home, thankfully, as they live there 3 months of the year and so they know the ropes. And they are so happy to be getting to know their daughter.

Like you, they were a couple who wanted as many kids as possible, 6 or 8 even, but nature got in the way of that plan. But in the end, they do not seem to care at all. Somehow they kept faith and patience in the whole matter, and persevered. Because I know about their experience and the roadblocks they faced and yet still came out the other side with a family of five, I totally believe that you and your husband will get all the kiddos you want. It just takes time and some flexibility about *how* you become a family. HUGS to you Bella, stay strong.

 

[somethingshiny]

Bella, I'm so sorry. I imagine it feels a bit like a miscarriage, a child so close and then yanked away. Lots of healing dust for you and your DH. Friends of ours had 3 adoptions pulled from them and I know they were so grieved. Fortunately they did end up adopting two kids. Just know that whomever's mom you're supposed to be will find you!

 

[Bella_mezzo]

thanks DD and SS-you are making me tear up again Our agancy said they'd call us as soon as the other family made a decision, so all day I've been OBSESSIVELY checking email and voicemail. I'm tense and my stomach has been in knots all day. I just keep praying that the other family will decide against adopting him and that we will have peace eitherway and that he will end up with the family God has chosen for him (but I keeping praying that's us!)

I got the essential stuff done at work and am about to have to go write a paper for school, but I am definitely doing half-a**ed work today...

PS I just re-read my earlier post and of course I meant BFN not BFP...see what I mean about half-a**ed

 

[Ryan Claire]

Bella - drive by post to say I am so sorry for what you and your DH have been going through the last few days. You truly must be wonderful people to want to open your hearts to this two year old boy. And the fact you can be happy for him no matter what, because it means he has a family that loves him is really a great testiment to your character. No doubt, I hope that family is you and I will cross every finger and toe that you get the good news soon. And if not, I am sending you tons of hugs and t&ps that a LO will be joining your family soon. Let us know!

 

[charbie]

Oh Bella! What an emotional rollercoaster...ending in what im sure feels like a trainwreck. Ugh. That isn't fair. But, a possible glimmer of hope is that this poor child who had to be given up by parents who could not raise him now has two families who want to love him...how lucky is he???
I admire your strength and courage as you pull through this journey. You will get the baby/toddler who you are meant to be "mommy" to, and God will bless you with the child at that right time. Plus...all those itty bitty baby items you've gathered need an itty bitty babe...

BIG ((((((((HUGS))))))))!

 

[moxie.moo]

Bella, just dropping in to say that I'm thinking of you as you deal with these ups and downs. To think that something you've so yearned for was right within your grasp, and now feeling it's been pulled further away... so heartbreaking. As you so eloquently said, the light within this story is that this little boy is already so loved that two families are willing to make him part of theirs. Whether it's this little man or a different one, whichever child is meant for you and your husband is blessed beyond words. Hugs from here and hoping your little one finds you and your husband soon.

 

[Lanie]

Bella -- I've been following your story for awhile now, and I just wanted to say a comment. I was thinking of you this morning, and hoping you would get good news today from the agency. Now, my comment might potentially make you mad, so I hesitate to do it, but I think it's one of those things you might realize later on. Or hopefully.

I feel that if your family is not chosen for this particular child, you might want to look at it as a blessing in disguise. You are clearly ready to have a child, emotionally and logistically (with your arsenal of baby items and diapers, etc!). You have been praying and trying so hard to have a baby, and it makes me feel very anxious for you myself. But I think you might want to consider whether your family unit is ready for this. You explained that your DH is in a rough patch, and is feeling low and down in the dumps. You also mentioned that he's been out of work for awhile and is feeling discouraged. I'm assuming you guys are okay financially, or you wouldn't continue with the adoption preliminaries, but I think it's safe to say that this might not be the ideal time to bring a child into your home. I think emotionally, your family unit isn't ready until your DH can start feeling normal and better. You guys are in a transition period right now, and bringing a child in at this moment could potentially make the transition even broader. Your DH is going back to school, and can hopefully get into the classes he's wanting. With a child in the mix, things will just get harder. It is a HUGE transition, and right now, I think your DH needs to get better emotionally before opening himself up for another human life to take care of. I don't think it is fair to the little guy. You know your DH very well, and I'm just a third party who knows your half of the story, but I think it might be a blessing in disguise. I'm not accusing you of using the child as a cure-all for your problems, and I'm also not saying that your DH is disfunctional or anything like that. But I personally would take a step back and really examine if this was the best thing for my family which might not be emotionally ready for this.

I hope you aren't mad at me. You don't have to acknowledge my comments. I continue to wish the best for you and your DH and hope and pray that you will be a happy family of 3 or 4 or 5 some day!

 

[dcgator]

Bella - I am so very sorry to hear about this latest development with the adoption process. I think the previous posters have all said it so very well, but I will add that if this child isn't destined to be your's, I'm sure that God has another plan for you, perhaps those siblings that really need a home, and no one else wants to take on. I truely believe that you will get your little one(s) soon, so please keep the faith and your love will have somewhere to go soon!
PS I hope that car issue wasn't too bad and that you are able to fix it up.

 

[onedrop]

Bella: Goodness. My heart goes out to you and your DH. I can only imagine how it feels to have come to a decision to take this LO in, only to find out that he may go to another family. Talk about an emotional roller coaster! I am really sorry that this situation did not work out for you. And unfortunately I can't seem to put together the right words to adequately express my thoughts, but what I can say is that I know things will work out as they are supposed to and in the right time. Be good to yourself today.... {{{{HUGS}}}}

 

[Ryan Claire]

Steal – if you happen to pop back in here, just know I am thinking about you. There were many months that I felt left behind on these forums and it’s a lonely thing… especially when you know things aren’t working in the TTC department. I wish you a lot of strength and comfort as you and your DH figure this out. You are a terrific supporter and I we can all return the favor soon.

Charbie – so sorry about AF and your EDD coming at the same time. It is cruel. I felt a lot of the same things you wrote in your post over the last few months and I am so sorry you are going through this. I know I am on the other side now and don’t get to commiserate but my heart does go out to you and all the TTC+6 ladies. Hugs.

Lili – wish I had something brilliant to say to comfort you. I can understand how lurking on these threads can be painful and am just sorry you are going through this. Please take good care of yourself and know that there are a lot of women here who will miss you and are wishing you all the best.

Onedrop – welcome… sorry we didn’t overlap but I am always happy/sad to see another jaded veteran join the crew : )

 

[onedrop]

Ryanclaire: Thanks for the welcome!! I always love when you post, because I get to see the amazing ring in your avatar! I suppose this is a group that none of us really wants to join...but the support that is given here can't be beat. So happy to see that you graduated, and since I lurk over on the pregnancy thread I will keep up with your progress. I love these IUI/IVF success stories (you, DCGator, etc.), it gives me hope. Best wishes to you!!!!

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Ryan-You and DC are our current "sucess" stories so happy for you, but it is always awesome to see you around these parts!

One drop, Ryan, Lanie, DC, Charbie thanks so much for the support! We still haven't heard anything one way or another, so we're just praying and waiting to see how this all works out.

Lanie-I hear what you are saying and we both have considered that a lot. I come on here to vent sometimes, so I think sometimes things seem worse than they are. DH and I are both in the middle of career changes (I work full-time as a non-profit executive and am half-way through an MBA, which I am not totally sure what I want to do with now that I've realized work-life balance and working for myself or a company I believe in are the two most important aspects of a job for me) and DH is transitioning into a medical career (probably anaesthesiology, but he's also considering being a Physician's Assistant if he decides he wants a shorter time in school).

We decided when we began pursuing these changes that we did not want to wait until things were "all set" in our lives, but that we wanted to start a family right away. I am 32 and DH is 34 and we've been together for 11 years now, so it's not something we're entering into lightly or at an early age.

DH getting laid off definitely threw a wrench in things as he's sort of stuck with nothing to do for a few months before school starts which drives him nuts. He has good days and not so good days, but neither of us are trying or planning to have kids to "fix" anything. in fact, we fully anticipate that with all the joy will come more complications, stresses, and issues

At this point, regardless of how or when this child or another joins our family (with international adoption, the fastest our kiddo would be home is 4-6 months from now), DH will be in school and on the path to this transition (which will probably take about 10 years until it is all said and done if he becomes a Dr...). I have flexibility in finishing my MBA, so if I need to take a year or two off to adjust to having a child I can do that. My current job is rather insane, but I am looking for more flexible options and we are comfortable making a dramatic shift (like me taking a lower paying job and us using some savings to cover the gap for a year or two if necessary) or DH going back to work for a year or two and taking longer to finish his initial classes if that's what it takes for us to start our family now.

We are definitely not in a perfect financial place (and now have some pretty big student loans ), but we're fine and have savings and investments that can give us more flexibility in decisions regarding the next few years if necessary.

 

[Lanie]

I hear you Bella. Please don't feel the need to justify anything to me at all. I didn't realize you were my age (I'm 32 as well), which does change things a little, in my opinion. I wanted to get the show on the road myself after I got married. Glad to see you considered the life changes soon to come. Sounds like you guys are both very flexible, which is an incredible asset!

Did they give you guys a time frame to hear anything? It must be so nerve wracking. If this one falls through, do children come up for placement regularly, or could it be awhile before there's another one available? I hope you hear something soon, just so you have an answer and you can stop looking at your cell phone every second.

 

[E B]

Still keeping my fingers crossed for you, Bella! Maybe no news is good news? When does the 48 hours expire?

 

[fisherofmengirly]

Lili,

You know I’ve had you in my thoughts and prayers since I heard your news today. Oh sweetie, even if your hope is dwindling, mine is welling up. You have support through this, please know that. I remember you talking about the elation you and your hubs shared when you found out, and I look forward to you both having that same feeling again. Hugs, hugs, hugs!!!

************
Bella,

Wow, girl! You are zipping through the adoption hoops, aren’t you? Way to go! And while I’ve not been there, I can imagine the pain of thinking your child may be snatched up by someone else. Still, rest in the knowledge that God already knows which child will be your first, and He’s got it all taken care of. (Yeah, easier said than done. I know.)

I’m sorry your hubs is a little down right now. I think it’s hard to be capable of working and unable to work…. It’s a rough spot to be in, but definitely not the worst place in the world. Work will happen, and education will be a good time occupier for the time being. As for financial peace: you seem to be well ahead of the game even with the one income in comparison to a large number of people who are TTC/preparing for adoption.

(Um, I’m not sure packing in ice for months on end at bed time is a good idea without medical professionals advising such. Seems to me--- a non-medical professional--- that it could do some harm. And well, it doesn’t sound like a comfortable thing to attempt at all, either.)

************
DC,

So, any news on those numbers? When will there be an ultrasound to see if there are multiple Dcers hanging out in there? Hope you’re feeling well!

*************
OneDrop,

Welcome aboard. I pop in and out infrequently these days. Seems I’m saying the same stuff all the time, as it is.

I will admit that several of the women on this thread as well as the original TTC thread (past and present) have been such a blessing to have for support during the rough times on this journey. If only it was a positive experience all the time, huh?

I wish you much luck and hope that you’ll hang around until such time as you graduate out of this place!

**************
CDN, Lauren and all: How are you ladies? I hope you’ve had a great Thanksgiving and that Christmas is most wonderful, as well.

*************
Steal,

Oh goodness.... I'm sorry for what you're going through. I hope that each day things become a little clearer and you learn for the steps you can take to reach the goal of parenthood. Please do come back when you feel like you can, or when you need support. I've cried my way through posting many times here.... And it really did help to just get it out. I am praying for you and your hubs right now!

***************
I had a birthday a couple of weeks ago and Paul and I went to Disney World last weekend to celebrate. Part of me was *so* excited to go; I’ve been to Disneyland many times, but never Disney World. It was interesting to see so many things that lit up memories from trips with my parents. And the castle all lit up at night still makes me swoon and feel all princessy. Haha.

And another part of me was so disappointed in the trip. I’d always told Paul (from the time we were dating) that I wanted the first time I went to Disney World to be with my child, my baby. I wanted to experience the “wow” for the first time with my kid, like a bonding experience. Well, after nearly 6 years together, we decided to just go and have a good time. And happily, we did. I look forward to going again with a child in tow, that’s for sure!

The most magical moment of all was when we were on the boat (did you know there’s a BOAT you can take from the parking lot to the Magic Kingdom? Disneyland sure doesn’t have that!!!!) and it first swung around so you could see the castle far in the distance and all these little girls (and me, too) all made this audible gasp at their first glimpse of Cinderella’s castle. Oh, and those gaspers were dressed in princess dresses with jeans under them. Adorable. Ah, to be a mother with a baby girl in a princess dress dancing up and down on the boat, waiting to see the castle and be enchanted….. One day, and that day is going to ROCK!!!!

So, we’re hanging in there, holding on to hope and not letting go. No acupuncture for me (yet). Not sure when we’ll pursue IUI or if we will, but there is a growing peace in knowing it’s available to us at this point, should we want to use it. After months of trying to avoid or deny my intense love for this little person we simply don’t have yet, I’ve decided to continue with the projects I have had in mind since before we were even TTC, and it feels good to be actively working on things for our baby. It reminds me that there *will* be a baby, and it helps me to stop obsessing over temps and shifts and pseudo symptoms and instead to focus on what will be. I don’t know if we’ll have a child through conception or through adoption, but one day all these projects we’re doing will be put to good use. And that makes my heart happy, and that’s forever a good thing.

The book “Making Babies” I’d talked about before is a good book. I would suggest anyone who’s not sure if they want to jump into IUI (or anything along those lines) yet review it. It’s not a guarantee, but it at least provides ways to be proactive. And feeling like there’s something you can do to help encourage your body into being a comfy place for a baby to make a home for 9 plus months is a very calming thing for many TTC ladies. Paul has skimmed it, but didn’t seem too interested. That’s okay; the changes they suggest for him I’ve already been putting into play.

A few friends have suffered miscarriage this week; one friend gave birth to her full-term daughter last night, and one friend who’s been TTC for over 5 years got word this week that she’s officially been matched with a birth mother---she and her hubs will be adopting in January. So many mixtures of emotions…. Sorrow and joy all linked together for me tonight.

Merry Christmas to each of you; I continue to pray for the blessing of parenthood for each of the ladies here.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Fisher, always good to see you round these parts

Thanks so much for everyone's encouragement and well wishes!

It looks like we are going to be stuck in this mess for a while as the "paper ready" family has requested another medical test for something that isn't really a huge deal at all--this will be the third time he's had this test, one was positive and the second more comprehensive test was negative (we want to adopt him regardless of the results of that test and have told our agency that). The agency is placing his adoption on-hold until the test results come back in 3-6 WEEKS! and the paper ready family will still have precedence (even though we will be paper ready or extremely close to paper-ready by then).

We're very upset right now, disappointed that things have unfolded this way, disillusioned by the fact that our agency is making decisions based more on "business" than what is best for the child (they said the paper ready family got priority b/c they could bring him home faster, but clearly that is no longer the case now that he will be waiting for the results of this test. Also, they only want to adopt him if the results of this test come back negative) and we're tired.

So, we are continuing to pray for him, that he will be healthy, that he will be growing well, that he will be comforted and safe and loved in the orphanage, and that he will end up with the family God has for him. We are praying it will be us, but also that we will have peace if it's not us.

My period is due today (awesome timing as usual AF!) so I am more emotional and tired than usual which is not helping. I just curled up n my DH's arms last night and sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. DH is very disappointed too and is holding out hope that things will work out for him to be our son, I am not so optimistic.

I'm taking a break from PS to process all of this but will be back in the New Year! I may lurk some, but right now we're just really sad and DH and I just want to spend some time together and honestly, it is really hard to post about this.

Here's what we have left:
We just have to get two documents certified by NYS this week, receive our formal written homestudy (which should be done by Friday), and get my PA child abuse clearance--the re-submitted one (which should arrive by next week.) After that, all that is left is to get our homestudy approved by NYS and our placement agency which could take 1-3 weeks.

Then our agency will get the US and Ethiopian approvals of our dossier and at the same time we can file the form I-600 with the US government which is currently taking 3-6 weeks for processing (form processing, biometric finger printing, and receipt of the form 171-H which is the US government approval that you can adopt an orphan from another country--that's what you go through this whole crazy paper process for...hopefully we will be paper ready by the end of January.)

I'll be back in 2011, hopefully in a better place, done with all this paperwork, and with better news.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!!!

I hope to see tons of good news, lots of BFPs and TTC breakthroughs!!!!!

XOXO,
Bella

 

[somethingshiny]

Bella~ I will also pray that this little boy will go to the family God wants him to have. I don't know what the medical condition is, but I'm assuming if he has it, he will be your son. So, also praying that whatever his condition is or isn't that he will get the best mom and dad to take care of him. Many blessings to you in the new year!

 

[charbie]

All the best to you and yours, Bella! Catch ya on the flip side

FOMG: gosh, do I love your optimism! Your post was like a breath of fresh air, and im glad you're feeling at peace. I am NOT suggesting to just "relax" (shudder) and you'll suddenly become pregnant, but sometimes it really is best when you aren't consumed by it. I doubt my husband would really read any sort of book discussing his diet/body as it relates to my fertility, so I get where you're coming from on that point. Your discription of Disney World and your experience brought tears to my eyes. DH and I wont go to DW until we've got little ones, tho its been suggested by me a few times. I went at age 8...with two other sisters, I can only imgaine the trip was just as excited for my
Mom as it was for us little girls. But as you said, life must go on, even while you're waiting for your little bundle to do all these things with as a family.

Anyone else left around here? I feel like its eeriely quiet!

Im bummed this holiday season. One tradition we have is getting our picture taken with santa for my mom each year. She said once we have kids we wont have to do it, we will just have to give her a pic of her grandbaby with santa. Standing in line was rough...so many cute little kids, I just wanted my own. We aren't decorating since we are in our temporary home, so im just depressed and not getting into the holidays this year. Plus ill be 2ww over Christmas, so I can't even drown my sorrows in Christmas ale and eggnog. I found out a coworker of mine is trying. She had trouble conceiving her daughter 2 yrs ago, but I hope we can get pregnant at the same time.
I love the show "how I met your mother" but according to previews, even Lily (a main character) finally gets knocked up...babies are everywhere I freaking turn! It'll just piss me off to watch it!

 

[Bliss]

Oh Bella! Thinking of you, my dear friend. I can only imagine how you are feeling in this moment - not knowing whether this baby boy will be your son and praying so earnestly with your DH to guide the way... You are such a strong and beautiful woman and I am proud to know you IRL. What you write here and pour out of your heart is just a small portion of the greater picture of your life and possibilities. I know that you will be a mother and an AMAZING mother one way or another, with this child or with another precious miracle God sends your way. Sometimes I wonder why our roads to becoming moms can be so trying. The road is fraught with emotions and fears that can test the fabric of our faith. But at least you are spiritually deep and these are but ripples compared to the endless depths in your ocean of faith. So many people are sending you and your DH lots of dust and thoughts. May you walk in peace and may the love in your heart light the way. (((HUGS)))

To all the ladies TTC... sending you love, dust and prayers! Thank you so much for being there for me when I went through the fire. The support here was like balm upon a wound. (((HUGS))) May we all help each other along the way to motherhood with the strength and grace I have witnessed here over the years.

 

[lili]

((HUGS)) Bella.
I'm so mad at the agency for you and your husband.
Thinking of you both.
Things have a way of working themselves out...and I believe that you guys will be parents very soon.
Hoping to see you back on here shortly in the new year w/ great news!

 

[onedrop]

fisher: so happy to read a post from you! I can totally identify with your feelings about Disney. Thanks for posting your very honest feelings about it all. Hope your day in Disney with you and your kids happens in the very near future. I agree with you on the Making Babies book, there is a lot of good info in there about holistically preparing your body for TTC and pregnancy. However and wherever your TTC takes you, I am pulling for you! And thanks so much for the welcome!

bella: Hopefully you are lurking and will read this...I am so sorry for what you and your DH have been going through lately. While I can understand they other potential parents wanting to get the test results before making a decision, it seems to me that potential parents that are willing to take a child regardless of the results should be given some sort of priority!?!? Wanting to welcoming this LO unconditionally....it just seems like you two would be the perfect family. Much strength to you during this process. I know that everything will work out for the best!!! You will be missed in this thread during your hiatus, but I totally understand the need to lay low for a while. I look forward to reading good news from you in the New Year.

charbie: I agree with you...."where is everyone?" Being new to this thread, I haven't been able to form the connections that you and other posters have. Hopefully those lurking will come and join and the vets will begin to post again. I really am pulling for you as well! I really admire the way you own your feelings about this TTC thing and the disappointments that can happen. I wish I were able to own my disappointments as you do. I think it's very healthy how you are handling things. As slow as it is around here, please stick around, because I can really learn from you. Sorry about the no-egg nog situation! I feel your pain...

AFM...nothing at all going here in the TTC area. Just more people telling me to "relax, it will happen" or asking me what we are *waiting* for? Luckily I am in the holiday spirit so I am cordial and "nice" when I am told that, but if it were any other time....

DH and I will be taking an extended holiday to visit with his family overseas in early January. Really looking forward to it as a time to relax and have a little fun. We are also going to explore some holistic approaches that are taken in his country when couples have trouble TTC. So I guess if nothing else it will be educational. Perhaps after we return we will be in a better space to really go forward with ART. New year, new approaches I guess.

 

[dcgator]

Hey ladies,

Sorry this thread has been a little slower, but I will try to add my 2 cents...

Bella - Well that just plain old sucks. This agency really sounds like they are playing the money/politics game rather than considering the best interest of the child. I mean, if there goal is to place children, then they really need to re-examine those policies. I'm sorry that you have been put into this holding pattern with this little boy, but I truely do believe that your will have your little one(s) soon. Your attitude and faith through all of this is admirable and hopefully it will carry you over till you get the final decision. As for AF coming, well, she is a total insensitive B! Hoepfully she will have some class and not linger too long. I understand you wanting to take a break, but should you need someone to talk to, we are here for you. Super big (((HUG)))!

Fisher - How nice to see you again dear. Thanks for asking about me. I did have my ultrasound yesterday and there was just one little bean. If you want to see the little ninja turtle's pics, pop into the just barely preggo thread As for your trip to Disney World, it sounds just lovely. I grew up in Florida, but I still love going to Disney. There is truely something so magical about it. I'm sorry that you didn't have your little one to bring with you this trip, but God willing, hopefully you will be able to make the trip again soon, with a little princess of your own in tow. As for the IUI thing, I'm glad to hear you are feeling more comfortable with the whole idea. If you decide to go the IUI route, I think that is a pretty good step, and minimally invasive. In the meantime, get your projects done and enjoy the satisfaction that comes with completing each one. That's quite an emotional roller coaster with your friends. I hope the ones with m/c find comfort and congrats to the one who just had hers and the one who just got matched. I can't imgine the excitement of being told in just one month, you will have a baby, crazy! Either way, I wish you a VERY Merry Christmas, and hope that it is filled with joy and love.

Charbie - I'm sorry you have the holiday blues. Even if it's just a temporay house, can you at least go out and buy a small tree (with lights already on it) and some cheap decorations to throw up? Hopefully you can swing something, and maybe it will perk up your holiday happiness. As for the 2WW, I know it can be stressful, but think of it as a possible Christmas present to you. I am really hoping that this one will indeed be it for you. And I totally hear you on the tv/movie thing. I swear, after months of trying, I just wanted to punch the television sometimes. It was also so easy for someone to get KU and if I heard about it one more time, I was going to loose it! Just hang in there dear and it will be your turn soon enough. Big hug!

One Drop - OMG, that, "just relax" was a TOTAL trigger word for me. If people said that to me, I automatically wanted to kick them! I know it hurts to hear it, but you sounds like a far better person that me in saying something nice. Once I heard that one, I usually got very b*tchy. As for your upcoming trip, that sounds really nice. I hope that you enjoy the time with family, and maybe find some viable new baby making methods. Either way, enjoy the time away and have a very happy holiday!

To the rest of the ladies of TTC 2.0, I wish you loads of luck and hope that you will have some holiday miracles!

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

Im bummed this holiday season. One tradition we have is getting our picture taken with santa for my mom each year. She said once we have kids we wont have to do it, we will just have to give her a pic of her grandbaby with santa. Standing in line was rough...so many cute little kids, I just wanted my own. We aren't decorating since we are in our temporary home, so im just depressed and not getting into the holidays this year. Plus ill be 2ww over Christmas, so I can't even drown my sorrows in Christmas ale and eggnog. I found out a coworker of mine is trying. She had trouble conceiving her daughter 2 yrs ago, but I hope we can get pregnant at the same time.
I love the show "how I met your mother" but according to previews, even Lily (a main character) finally gets knocked up...babies are everywhere I freaking turn! It'll just piss me off to watch it!

Delurking to say that I feel similarly though not for entirely the same reasons as we aren't TTC right now. However, I have found myself in a bit of a rut thinking about how things would have been about this time now if I was still pregnant. I wonder still if there would be more magic in the air if I was a mere 8 weeks away from welcoming our first child into the world. Literally everything makes me cry these days and I found it especially difficult to shop for all the children in my life. Oh, and How I Met Your Mother used to be my favorite show - seems like every few episodes I find myself fighting back tears and I tend to avoid watching it with DH as a result.