Private or Public school...that is the question...

[steph72276]

Okay, so I'm sure we've had the debate here about the better choice between the two...I don't want a debate, I'm just trying to figure out what I'm going to do next year when my son starts Kindergarten and thought I could get some feedback on my particular situation...

So, I have a couple of options. First his school he goes to now has a Kindergarten program. I love his school, I have heard the Kindergarten teacher is great, he would have some built-in friends from this year that are going, and the cost is very doable. The bad in this situation is that they have no program after K, so I would have to switch him for first grade.

Another option is our public elementary school. The good about this choice: within walking distance to our house, so lots of moms and dads walk their kids to school in the mornings. Top rated school in the area, so great academically. He would know some kids from our neighborhood. It is free. On the other hand, I would lose the religious aspect, which I really like him getting now...however, he would still get it from church/home, so not losing it totally.

Third option is a private school about 10 mins. away. It is top notch academically. His teacher told me he could basically skip kindergarten and go right to first grade as far as academics go, so I think he would like the faster pace. Lower teacher/child ratio so more one on one time. Religious aspect, as it is Christian-based. Uniforms required, so no worrying about what to wear everyday. Great sports program. Cons, really the only con I see is expense. The tuition is pretty hefty, although we could easily swing it, it would obviously double with the second child 5 years from now, and I think about all that we could save/invest if he went to a free school.

So, I guess what would you do if you were in my situation? I have taught both in private and public and enjoyed both, but I really loved the private school setting and how closely the parents were involved. Any input/experience is welcome...thanks!

 

[elrohwen]

Where I grew up, lots of parents sent kids to private (usually Catholic) schools for elementary, then switched them to public schools for high school (I did the opposite and went to a private high school). I think as long as the academics are great at both schools, I would just pick the place you think your son would be the most comfortable.

Would you be able to afford private school for high school as well? Are the academics at your public school good enough that you would be fine sending him there for high school? Also something to consider - you don't want to spend tons of money on a private elementary education and then have him go to high school at a public school you're not thrilled about. If you are at all worried about the academics of the public school at the high school level, I would save up the money to send him to a private high school.

 

[somethingshiny]

I look forward to the responses too.

JT will start kinder year after next. But, the private school in question also offers preschool for 4 yr olds. If we were to do the private at kinder, I''d assume we''d send him for preschool too.

We love his current preschool. It''s also private but not related to the private school for elementary education.

Our public school is less than a block away. He''d have friends in the neighborhood and it would be convenient. They seem to lose lots of teachers though. I don''t know why. It makes me a bit nervous because we have a daycare next door where more than one 1st grader can''t read.

IL''s REALLY want him to attend the private school as it''s through their church. I love the religious aspect but also don''t want him to feel like it''s pushed down his throat. We know several people who attended the private school and they''re well rounded and well educated. They have a 100% of their students attending college.

Obviously the home life could make up for either option''s shortcomings. It''s just so hard to figure out what''s best.

 

[Puppmom]

Steph, I don''t really have any advice but a friend of mine has her DD in private school and socially it''s difficult for her because it''s not a "neighborhood" school. She hasn''t made friends with a lot of the kids in the neighborhood because most of them go to the local public elementary. So, my friend spends lots of timing driving her daughter to playdates on the other side of town.

There are obviously many benefits and the above certainly doesn''t seem reason enough to not go private but I just thought I would share one "issue" that my friend didn''t expect to encounter.

I''m not religious but, for me, I think private vs. public would depend A LOT on the public school district I lived in.

 

[steph72276]

Thanks girls...El, the academics at both the private and public are both wonderful. The public schools are the top rated in the area, so I would feel comfortable sending him public all the way through as far as academics go.

 

[elrohwen]

Date: 1/12/2010 4:01:25 PM
Author: puppmom
Steph, I don''t really have any advice but a friend of mine has her DD in private school and socially it''s difficult for her because it''s not a ''neighborhood'' school. She hasn''t made friends with a lot of the kids in the neighborhood because most of them go to the local public elementary. So, my friend spends lots of timing driving her daughter to playdates on the other side of town.

I went to a private high school and this was definitely an issue for us as well! At least in high school people learn to drive halfway through and are able to travel the 40min to see each other without bothering their parents.

 

[fieryred33143]

DD is too young so I don''t have the experience (so don''t quote me later

) but I think if both schools are equal in terms of academics, I would go with public and maybe use the money I would have spent and put it towards a 529.

 

[elrohwen]

Date: 1/12/2010 4:03:03 PM
Author: steph72276
Thanks girls...El, the academics at both the private and public are both wonderful. The public schools are the top rated in the area, so I would feel comfortable sending him public all the way through as far as academics go.

In that case, like I said, just go with your gut and pick whatever place you think he'll be most comfortable at. Lots of my friends transferred over to public school in 9th grade and got the best of both worlds (not sure if that's as common where you are).

 

[somethingshiny]

steph~ Is there a way that you could sit in for a bit at either of the schools to get a feel for them? Also, an important part of our decision making is whether there are field trips and other extra learning opportunities.

 

[vespergirl]

I grew up in an area with great public schools, so we went to them from K-12. We also paid a premium when we bought our house a few years ago to live in an area with great public schools, so my son will most likely go to public K-12, even though like you, Steph, we love his private preschool, but you can''t beat a great, free, Kindergarten program, so we''ll move him to public for K.

My mom had the same dilemma as you with my older brother - she loved the Catholic preschool he was going to, and was debating sending him there for Kindergarten. When she talked to the preschool teacher about it, though, the teacher''s advice to her was to save their money for his college education. I agree with that - it seems like there probably isn''t that much difference in programs when it comes to fingerpainting and learning to write your name, but all 3 of us kids were really grateful that our parents had saved for us to go to college wherever we wanted - my older brother and I both chose expensive, out of state private schools, and my parents were able to pay for them because we had gone to good public schools K-12.

But, private schools are great too, it really just depends on what works out best financially for your family. It sounds like you have 3 good choices, which is great. Too many good choices is way better than not having a good education option.

 

[oobiecoo]

I would probably save the money for now and send the kids to private school for middle school and then possibly high school. That is the time that peer pressure/drugs/etc kind of start and so having the kids in a private school during that critical time will do the most good IMO.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Yep, big time re: "neighborhood school." Right after reading you post, Steph, I was going to bring this up. When we had my son on a variance, setting up playdates was impossible. It was a hassle for everyone to coordinate everything and we couldn''t have the friends ride the bus or walk to our house and a lot of the parents don''t want to deal with that. I found that the majority want to know who the parents are and where they live before organizing stuff. When we moved back into the school boundries and next to children in my son''s grade, his social network *vastly* improved because everyone saw us at neighborhood parks and drove past our house. He basically developed his group of buddies after moving.

FWIW, parent involvement at my kids'' school is VERY high. There are *many* kids who are on a varience to be in the school and each class has multiple room parents because everyone wants to take part and help out. Public school doesn''t mean parents aren''t around. It really depends upon the school.

With religion, as you said, between church and home, your son should be okay.

 

[Mrs Mitchell]

I haven''t had to make this decision yet, but my plan is to see which school is the best fit for A. If it''s a fee paying school, then so be it, if it isn''t, then that''s fine too.
The primary school ( age 5 - 11) in our village is one of the best available, so unless she has major problems there, that''s where she''ll go. High school I''m much less sure about, because at the moment (and a lot can change before she''s that age) the local school is miles away and not so great. I think they have had bullying issues in the past and the atmosphere is not friendly.

I''d spend some time getting to know the philosophies and ethos of the schools and pick the one that you think will give him the best opportunity to thrive. If you could afford the fees, then I personally would take that out of the decision making process at least initially.

Jen

 

[janinegirly]

Gosh, I think this is really a personal decision. You''ve got great options. If you had said your public school was a bit iffy, then that would be a different story. What does your gut tell you? If finances aren''t an issue it has to come down to that and continuity (ie where your son is likely to end up long term (private? public?). My only one qualm would be if it''s too early to put him in a private school regimen (uniforms etc.) plus academics don''t really come into play as much obviously. However if you feel he will stay in the private system the whole way through, then it is worth considering seriously.

 

[D&T]

Date: 1/12/2010 4:08:39 PM
Author: oobiecoo
I would probably save the money for now and send the kids to private school for middle school and then possibly high school. That is the time that peer pressure/drugs/etc kind of start and so having the kids in a private school during that critical time will do the most good IMO.

I agree with this, As my boss was battling this as well for his kids, he opted to send both his kids to public school from K-6,however, they are now in Private school for High school and middle school boy. He stated for his girl, it might have been fine because regardless she is studious, however his boy lacks the discipline in perhaps a public school setting so he chose to start him in middle school a little earlier than his daughter.

 

[radiantquest]

I think that if it you can easily afford the private school you should. Some are posting about sending him to private for elementary and then sending him to private for high school. From what I have been told private school teaches at a much faster rate so my concern would be that being public school he would not have covered all the material that he would have in private and then he may be a little behind in high school. Another reason that I would not send to public in elem. because children are are receptive when they are little. Their little minds are ready to absorb whatever you throw at them.

If you can afford it I think you should do it all the way.

 

[MustangGal]

I''d do the public, but I''m also not a fan of private school if you have a good public option. My son will go to public school, but we are also in a very good school district.

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 1/12/2010 4:08:39 PM
Author: oobiecoo
I would probably save the money for now and send the kids to private school for middle school and then possibly high school. That is the time that peer pressure/drugs/etc kind of start and so having the kids in a private school during that critical time will do the most good IMO.

I see your point but I don''t think this is a good decision factor. The peer pressure can often be even greater in private school and the kids have the same access to drugs as others do (sometimes even more because private school students generally have wealthier families)

 

[steph72276]

Thank you...you all make some very good points and I am keeping everything in mind as I make the decision (Registration for private school is in Feb, so I''ll have to decide soon). I''m leaning toward sending him to the public school for kindergarten to see how we like it. If after K we decide to send him to a private school, he won''t be behind (I also work with him a lot at home since I used to teach this grade). Like Vesper, we did move into this particular neighborhood b/c of the school, so we might as well try it out. And you guys are right, additional funds could go straight into their college savings. I really do like the private school, but when I think long term about having 2 go there, that amount is more than our monthly mortgage payment. We could do it, but it would change our lifestyle pretty dramatically. Thanks again!

 

[steph72276]

Date: 1/12/2010 4:29:34 PM
Author: fiery

Date: 1/12/2010 4:08:39 PM

Author: oobiecoo

I would probably save the money for now and send the kids to private school for middle school and then possibly high school. That is the time that peer pressure/drugs/etc kind of start and so having the kids in a private school during that critical time will do the most good IMO.

I see your point but I don''t think this is a good decision factor. The peer pressure can often be even greater in private school and the kids have the same access to drugs as others do (sometimes even more because private school students generally have wealthier families)

Fiery, I totally agree on this. As a teacher in a very prestigious private school, I saw the peer pressure kick in at a very young age. Birthday parties for 4 year olds included rides in limos. This is one other factor in not going private...I don''t want him to feel like he has to "keep up" with the wealthier families.

 

[oobiecoo]

Oops... I forgot to quote and now won't let me go back and do it. I'm replying to what was said about peer pressure being bad at private schools.

I can definitely see this point as I saw that happen alot with the Catholic schools in my area. For some reason, the non-denominational Christian schools had pretty much none of this... maybe because they were quite conservative.

 

[MonkeyPie]

Date: 1/12/2010 4:08:39 PM
Author: oobiecoo
I would probably save the money for now and send the kids to private school for middle school and then possibly high school. That is the time that peer pressure/drugs/etc kind of start and so having the kids in a private school during that critical time will do the most good IMO.

Ditto this. My DH''s younger brothers went to public school until 9th grade, and then switched to a private school that focused on what they loved to do - one took classes relating to computer tech and that''s what he does for a living now, and the other is taking drafting and architect classes to become an architect when he graduates.

 

[D2B]

Well, the only thingI know for sure is that I wouldnt let my son skip kindergarden to go ahead one year and go straight into year 1. At this level it isnt really about academics, but the development of social skills, learning how to play, share, follow rules, get used to some structure whhilst having time for free play and the imaginative benefits that flow from such mental activities. there is no academic benefit in rushing at this age, but a lot to be lost if they havnt had time to deveop at their pace socially.


If he is truly gifted in an area, to be recommended to skip a year, I would still to the kindergarden program, but look at finding a tutor to stretch him in the area he is truly ahead.

edited to add: I just realised I assumed that kindergarden means the same in terms of learning and development in the US as it does where I am from, so I better qualfy that to add, that skipping a year at this level is still something I wouldnt recomend as he needs the time to develop his social skills, but also if he skips a year, would he be a year younger than the other kids in his class? again, not something I would be keen on for my son.

 

[steph72276]

Date: 1/12/2010 4:59:48 PM
Author: D2B
Well, the only thingI know for sure is that I wouldnt let my son skip kindergarden to go ahead one year and go straight into year 1. At this level it isnt really about academics, but the development of social skills, learning how to play, share, follow rules, get used to some structure whhilst having time for free play and the imaginative benefits that flow from such mental activities. there is no academic benefit in rushing at this age, but a lot to be lost if they havnt had time to deveop at their pace socially.



If he is truly gifted in an area, to be recommended to skip a year, I would still to the kindergarden program, but look at finding a tutor to stretch him in the area he is truly ahead.

Oh, no...I was never going to have him skip kindergarten. His teacher just said academically he would be okay going straight to first. I just stated that point to say that he would be okay in the faster-paced private school. I was a Kindergarten teacher for many years, so I get the importance of social and developmental skills learned during this time

 

[PinkTower]

I would send him to public school and save the money for his college fund.
My children attend private school because our public schools are not good.
It made my decision easy.
Still, I think you need to do lots of investigating and visiting, and make sure you know they are good for your child firsthand.

 

[Porridge]

Steph, I went to private school for secondary school, as neither I nor my parents wanted me to be in a religious based school, and it was the only non-catholic one around. I have to say, I loved my school but it wasn''t any better or worse academically or otherwise than most of the public schools. I wouldn''t base your decision on public vs private, but rather what you feel is the best school for your son. My personal opinion based on your posts is that the public school sounds good!

 

[Rachel9]

Definitely a personal thing, I'll share my personal opinion hoping not to offend anyone:
If I were in your shoes I would take third option...lower ratio, academics and religion, sold. My parents had all 5 of us in private school back in the day when 1 salary was enough to do so. My little ones attended Montessori for a few years [great btw] then we moved, we had a very hard time adjusting to public schools, 36 kids in the classroom wasn't going to do it for me.
Starting kindergarden in your neighborhood sounds like a great way to know your neighbors

Keep in mind that first grade in option 3 will be filled with little ones who attended kindergarden there first, siblings next and newbies last.
Uniforms, they can be expensive but most privates have summer uniform sales where parents donate unwanted ones to school and sell them for a buck or two, I was like ewwwwww but then I decided to meet some parents and went lol Got two jackets for my twins with tags still on, kids don't really need much, 1 logo sweater and two pants, the tops can be found @ target vs $19@ the uniform store.
Tuition:
Non religious/participating [10%] pay higher rate
Registered Parishioner/participating lower rate
Siblings even lower [4th + child free]

Some say is tacky but Parents who participate in Scrip get a lower rate the following year, accumulate miles and help out the school [4-17% cashback]
This won't be advertised but 25% of families in private schooling receive some kind of aid, it doesn't come from the church, that $$ comes from 3% tuition from ALL, generous parishioners and sponsors who give more than most. My sister is jewish and same thing happens over in Chabad. Forms must be entered by April for the following September, I would ask for one, it's confidential. Best of luck iwith your decision.

 

[soocool]

When DD was little we were faced with the same indecisiveness.

DD attended a Quaker preschool here in PA and it was incredible. We thought about sending her to a Quaker elementary school that had small class sizes and would challenge her immensely. Sending her to the locall catholic school was a definite no. They had incredibly large class sizes (at least 30 - 35 kids in one classroom). Well, we finally decided on our public school (one of the top in the nation) for a number of reasons. Her class size in elementary school was about 21 kids per class.

If your child needs additional help no matter what, you will get it in public school. In 1st grade, DD did not enunciate certain letters very well. She was evaluated by a school speech pathologist who said that she would outgrow it and didn''t need any speech help. Others who did need the service got it and overcame their speech problems before completing elementary school. In high school, a friend of DD''s is having severe emotionall problems and was placed in "emotionall support" classes to help through this difficult time in her life.

In public school, DD was also evaluated as gifted and was pulled out of classes a couple days a week for gifted classes. Later she was pulled out during social studies and was also in the math enrichment program (she was tested for this). Now in high school she is in the Humaities (Gifted social studies), Honors and AP classes that match her scholastic ability. I do not know if you would have a gifted program in a catholic school and I would think that a private school woud have a tougher curriculum that would challenge your child

Now a few of DD''s friends decided to attend catholic high school after public school s and 2 attend the George School (very well known Quaker high school). A lot of kids who attended catholic grammar school made the transition to public school. I guess by high school you and your child truly know what you are seeking in their education.

Now, I know that all public schools are not alike. You have to select the school that will best match your needs and more importantly the needs of your children.

 

[mrssalvo]

steph, hubby and I were in a very similar situation a few years ago and we opted to send out kids to public. We are also big Dave Ramsey fans and he sent his kids to public even though he could more than afford to send them to private Christian schools and I agree with many of his reasons. I also found that I met an befriended a whole bunch of people in my neighborhood making it so much easier to have playdates, meet up at a local park, etc. So far my kids have done great in their schools are very good. If something would change then we would revisit the possibility of private school but for now I''m very happy with our decision.

 

[steph72276]

Thanks again ladies for all the suggestions. I am going to go try to visit the public school and check it out this week. My husband is also of the opinion that since it is rated so high, we might as well save the $ and send him there, so that is looking like the winner for now.

Mrs.S, I have seen Dave talk about this too. Don''t you just love him?