Deciding to have more children...what goes into your decision?

[ponder]

Date: 2/17/2010 12:18:12 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie
We have a one year old son now. I feel much like EBree. I was an only child in a single parent family with no cousins. Despite my mom''s best efforts and my close relationship with my grandparents, it was a lonely childhood at times. So I want more than one child not just for my kids, but for *me*. I want to be a part of a big bustling family. DH is one of three and has 14 cousins, so the other side of the spectrum from me, and he wants what he had. We will have two for sure (knock wood) and will see how we feel about three when the time comes.

I think about the finances sometimes for sure, it would be easier with one no doubt about it. We can afford two in daycare, but we won''t have lots of luxuries and trips etc when they are young, and little spending money. But then I think... we are talking about a *person* here. A little being who will probably be a lot like our son. Or maybe completely different but no less amazing to me. How can I say that a larger house or a trip to Europe is more important or will bring me more joy that knowing and raising another child? I can''t. And DH and I think of that whenever we worry about finances. Obviously, this is no judgement of others decisions, I am just conveying the thoughts I have when I think about it.

We are trying to time number two around my job and some other things. I would like to be in my new job for at least 1.5 years before I take leave, I''d like to give birth at the start of a new school year, so around september, because it is better for my teaching and for getting the new kid into the same daycare as Hunter, and we want him to be around 30 months when the second is born, which means getting pg a little before his second birthday. So it looks like October will be GO month! Hopefully it won''t take too long!

I don''t kow if I will make it to then, though. I think about getting pregnant a lot these days and I am not on the pill. It would be too easy to just throw caution to the wind!

Beautifully said Dreamer.

 

[packrat]

We had it planned, one of each, and they would be close together like my brother and I. We''re about 18 months apart, and very close. After London came, once she got to be close to 9 months and we were going to start trying for the 2nd, I didn''t want to do it. I didn''t want to share my time with her. Trapper came along 4 months after London''s 3rd birthday. A lot farther apart than we wanted, but she was potty trained by then and she could "help" with things. Trapper''s going to be 3 next month, and I do want another one. JD does too. We''ve talked about it for over a year, and even discussed adoption and fostering. Finances dictate that it isn''t going to happen, and I honestly don''t know if my body could handle another pregnancy. I loved being pregnant-if we could, we''d have 4 or 5 kids. I loved nursing and being with my babies..I just love being a mom.

Neither of us wanted just one child. Not that there aren''t times when I''m listening to the 2 of them fight and carry on like shrieking eels (which they get from JD''s side of the family, not mine) that I don''t pull at my hair and think about hopping in the Way Back Machine and having an only child or how quiet it was when it was just me and JD..but that lasts for all of 1 second! We said we wanted 2 kids before we had any, and once we had one, we *knew* we wanted two.

 

[pennquaker09]

Date: 2/17/2010 11:50:12 AM
Author: TravelingGal
I''m leaning toward one because I don''t think I''m capable of properly taking care of two.

I don''t know you (like, really know you, ya know?) but I think you''re a fantastic person and I''m sure that you could handle another child.

 

[Blenheim]

DD, well said. We also want a big, bustling family, and so we will probably have as many children as we feel that we can handle, provide for, and fit comfortably into whatever house we''re able to afford here (high cost of living, so we''re not talking anything like Duggar proportions - more like 3

).

Sha - your daycare is amazingly cheap. We were paying a little over $1500 a month. We could have found something for more like $1000, but we didn''t feel entirely comfortable with the quality of care he would have received whereas we loved our daycare.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

We''re trying for #1 right now, but DH and I would like a big bustling family (he''s one of 6 and I am one of 3 and we are both close to our sibilings---though growing-up we weren''t always close

). Right now we''re thinking we''d like 4 but we''ll see b/c we live in NYC and that would take some major creativity and financial discipline.

The big factor for us is childcare expenses and/or living off of one income in NYC so one of us could be a stay at home parent. A professional nanny in our neighborhood runs $450-$650+/week and can go higher depending on the person and the # of kids. If we hired an abuela or a mom with a kid, the going rate for that is $300-$450/week.

Childcare centers by where I work are $2000+ per month.

So, we''ll see how it all goes. I work in the non profit sector and am completing an MBA, DH just career changed into science and is working as a project manager at a lab and doing a post-bac, he''s planning to apply to med school right around when I''ll be completing my MBA. So...we''ll see what that means for us in terms of where we live and the financial aspects of having more kids.

 

[pennquaker09]

I''m with somethingshiny, the question is how many will make your family feel complete. I''ve always said that I want four, and Nate is very noncommittal. He says it depends on if I want to go back to school/work. I think his number is three and that he''s hoping that after we have the next one (which I am 99% sure will be an adoption) that I won''t want a fourth. And who knows, I might feel like we have everything we need with a third, but I also might feel like I want one more after a fourth.

We haven''t discussed what our plans are after the next child. I think for that child, I might lean towards another adoption because with surrogacy and IVF, we could go from having three kids to five, six, or more. Multiples are extremely common and that''s a concern. I love being a parent more than anything I''ve done. I was very successful in college, in my first post-college job, and in grad school, but I don''t feel like I had to try very hard to get a great result from all of those. With our kids, I feel like I have more of a purpose and even though a part of me wants to go back for my doctorate and teach, I feel like I wouldn''t regret not doing it because having a family is more important to me. And being there for my kids and family is more important.

I have to say that if we did IVF again and have another set of twins or triplets, we''d probably have to move closer to the South to be closer to our parents. I think we''d need a bit of help.

 

[steph72276]

I''m gonna say, go ahead and have another one b/c if you wait till they start potty training and having temper tantrums you might space them out 5 years like I did

. Just kidding (well a little). I think everyone is different and you just have to go with what what makes your family feel complete, like someone else said. I thought 1 would be it, and I REALLY loved having so many years to spend one on one with just him, but we kind of both got the bug for another one about 4 years later. I''m 3 weeks into having 2 and it''s great, and NOW I feel like our family is complete, but who knows if I''ll feel the same way 3 or 4 years down the line.

 

[mrssalvo]

Date: 2/17/2010 11:50:12 AM
Author: TravelingGal
I''m leaning toward one because I don''t think I''m capable of properly taking care of two.

tgal, I''m quite confident that you could easily handle two. There are reasons why not to have a second kid, but your capability shouldn''t be one of them. you are a fantastic mom from what I can tell!!

 

[Clio]

Our initial plan was to have 3 kids, all spaced roughly 2-2.5 years apart. After our second daughter was born, however, we felt like our family was complete and decided to stop at 2.

Nature had other plans for us, however, and we had a surprise! baby who is 5.5 and 3.5 years younger than his sisters. He was not planned, but he was one of the best things that ever happened to our family, and I can''t even contemplate not having him.

If money were no object, we would have had a 4th baby once our son was 2 or so. At that point, however, finances were very tight (and OMG, daycare/nanny costs are insane here), and we just couldn''t swing it. Now, our kids are 12, 10, and 7, and I just can''t see bringing another baby into the mix.

I know that only children can have perfectly happy, contented lives and siblings can have horrible, toxic relationships, but the joy I get at seeing how close my kids are to each other is immeasurable. They truly have a wonderful relationship. My husband and I are both quite close to our siblings, and I''m so grateful I could give that experience to my children.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 2/18/2010 9:17:36 AM
Author: mrssalvo

Date: 2/17/2010 11:50:12 AM
Author: TravelingGal
I''m leaning toward one because I don''t think I''m capable of properly taking care of two.

tgal, I''m quite confident that you could easily handle two. There are reasons why not to have a second kid, but your capability shouldn''t be one of them. you are a fantastic mom from what I can tell!!

Thanks PQ and MrsS. But I''m not saying that to be modest. I know I could *handle* two but I don''t think I could PROPERLY take care of two...the way I would want to raise them. I''m a lazy person by nature (although I prefer to use the words "laid back"

) and I struggle now with just one in terms of really raising her with energy and life. There is a reason why I am such a sleep nazi and get that kid to bed by 6:45!

It''s kind of that point that others brought up...100% of focus to one kid, instead of half ass*d attempts at raising two.

 

[janinegirly]

Date: 2/18/2010 12:06:10 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 2/18/2010 9:17:36 AM
Author: mrssalvo

Date: 2/17/2010 11:50:12 AM
Author: TravelingGal
I''m leaning toward one because I don''t think I''m capable of properly taking care of two.

tgal, I''m quite confident that you could easily handle two. There are reasons why not to have a second kid, but your capability shouldn''t be one of them. you are a fantastic mom from what I can tell!!

Thanks PQ and MrsS. But I''m not saying that to be modest. I know I could *handle* two but I don''t think I could PROPERLY take care of two...the way I would want to raise them. I''m a lazy person by nature (although I prefer to use the words ''laid back''

) and I struggle now with just one in terms of really raising her with energy and life. There is a reason why I am such a sleep nazi and get that kid to bed by 6:45!

It''s kind of that point that others brought up...100% of focus to one kid, instead of half ass*d attempts at raising two.

Ha, I love this post! I''m laid back too..age isn''t helping this aspect either!

 

[Jas12]

Tgal, i know your amelia will be raised amazingly well so i don''t think this applies to you, but i def. don''t think 100% of your attention to one kid is always a good thing. I''ve taught some really textbook examples of that. There is a reason that only-children have a certain reputation.

....

I really don''t know what went into our decision to have two. There wasn''t really a great deal of discussion. Just knew that we wanted more than one, so basically when the itch hit we started trying. I don''t know if there will be a third, we''ll just wait and see what happens in a couple of years.
I worry about balancing everything. I know it will be more work, but so many moms have told me that in some ways it''s easier. Kids close in age become instant playmates (but fighters too i guess

) and don''t need mom as entertainer 24/7. i am super close to my sister and other than my son and DH, our relationship is the most important, loving and enduring, so i want that for my children as well.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 2/18/2010 12:23:57 PM
Author: Jas12
Tgal, i know your amelia will be raised amazingly well so i don''t think this applies to you, but i def. don''t think 100% of your attention to one kid is always a good thing. I''ve taught some really textbook examples of that. There is a reason that only-children have a certain reputation.

....

I really don''t know what went into our decision to have two. There wasn''t really a great deal of discussion. Just knew that we wanted more than one, so basically when the itch hit we started trying. I don''t know if there will be a third, we''ll just wait and see what happens in a couple of years.
I worry about balancing everything. I know it will be more work, but so many moms have told me that in some ways it''s easier. Kids close in age become instant playmates (but fighters too i guess

) and don''t need mom as entertainer 24/7. i am super close to my sister and other than my son and DH, our relationship is the most important, loving and enduring, so i want that for my children as well.

True Jas, but I definitely am not the type of person to spoil a kid. I was raised without much and I''m a believer that it builds character. I don''t think we need to raise her the exact same way (after all, my parents worked as hard as they did so we would be a generation that could have more luxuries), but I will pick and choose what is appropriate. I think I would spoil her more on experiences (travel, learning new things) instead of THINGS.

I think I mentioned this before, but what compels me to think of having another is that at the end of the day, no one else in the world knows what you went through growing up as a family than your sibling does. When my dad died, my brother and I were on opposite sides of his deathbed. My brother is VERY loving with his wife and protective of her. But when I broke down, he came to my side of the bed and just held me. I knew then that only he and my mother share that level of grief. That when my parents are both gone, I''ll only be able to share a certain, important side of me with him and have him truly understand, and vice versa.

On a day to day basis though, while I love my brother, I don''t see him often. I love him dearly but he doesn''t actually affect life much.

And god, the thought of being pregnant again. The worry. Then they''re born and you''re watching for signs of colic, or signs that their brains are developing normally. We''ve crossed all the major humps and I''m not wanting to go through all of it again. Amelia is turning 2 soon and we''re both not even TEMPTED to THINK of trying. I think more than anything else, that speaks volumes for us.

 

[steph72276]

TGal, I felt the exact same way that we were done having kids until Andrew turned about 4. But I also think the preschool age is MUCH easier than the newborn/toddler stage, so this might have something to do with it. People asked me all the time if we were ready to have another one and I really couldn''t see it until he turned 4, so you never know if you will change your mind. But even if you just decide to have one, I''m sure A will be a well adjusted non-spoiled child...I think most of it comes down to parenting. I taught several only children that were sweet, successful students.

 

[Mara]

I'm of a similar mindset as TG. I don't know that we'd be the kind of parents that could successfully/happily 'raise' two kids. 'Raise' being a nebulous general term. We just had our first kid after many years of not being sure we even wanted to go that route, and for us age is also playing a big part of it as is finances. It's not so much about whether or not we want to take a trip every year kind of finances but rather....can we assist the one we already have with his college tuition and retire at the time we want to? Rather big decisions in general and we don't feel overly confident about our financial ability with even ONE over the span of 18 years as it is...so two is not even in the picture right now. Plus, I am 35 and he is 41 and we are not the same 'spring chickens' we were 10 years ago re: sleep. Functioning on a few hours was way more doable for us when younger, now my bones creak more and my brain is far more fuzzy at this age on 3-4 hours of sleep vs 25 years of age. Not saying that for everyone, but for us, age def plays in. Of course we are just at the first few weeks of our baby's life...but already I am thinking 'one is enough'.

I agree with others that also say that what it takes to complete your family will factor in. Since we weren't even sure we wanted kids, we never envisioned a huge family of kids anyway. And in terms of 'in a few years'...well in 3 or 4 years should we decide we might want another one, again I'll be almost 40 and he would be 45. Age simply would prob be deterrent enough at that point. But we'll see who knows. However at this point, I can easily see us being happy with our little boy and feeling lucky enough we were able to have one. Lastly, I know a fair amt of single/only children that are not totally spoiled brats, I also know people who HAD siblings and every one of them is a spoiled brat. It's hugely dependent on parenting. Giving one kid the 'best' of everything doesn't have to mean you are spoiling them with frivolities.

 

[LovelyHearts]

Date: 2/16/2010 6:44:26 PM
Author:Sha
My baby is just about 3 months but I''m already thinking about this. I''d love to have one more (when I was younger I wanted 3 but I''ve settled for 2 now) I had a wonderful pregnancy and love having my little girl so far, tiring as it has been! I would like if she had a sibling to grow up with too. DH may need some convincing, though...he loves his daughter but is happy with just one child. Anyway, if we did have another, I''d like to try in the next 6 months to a year, God willing. I''ll be 34 this year and DH will be 42, so age would definitely play a role the decision to TTC again.

Just curious about how other PS mommies feel. Do you feel as though your family is complete? If not, when would you like to add to your family, and what plays into that decision?

I always thought I wanted to have a big family until I went through the actual pregnancy and labor of my first. Everything about raising a baby was hard for me because it was all trial and error and came from a book. We didn''t get much help from family and when we finally felt like we got the hang of things, I was pregnant again. My daughters are 19 months apart. Hubby and I both agree that our family is complete. I do wonder if he longs for a son, but he reassures me that we''re done.

The reason why we don''t want a 3rd is mainly due to financial reasons. We live in the bay area and everything is expensive here. Just day care fees alone for both kids is alot for us. In 2009, we paid over $12K and Bella didn''t start day care until July. We can''t imagine how we would survive with having to pay for 3 kids in day care and I don''t want to quit my job to stay at home.

I''ve gotten used to their age difference. It was real hard at first, because when Bella was born, Nevaeh was still so little! She was still learning to use a spoon and a fork! She was still in diapers. It''s been a hell of a long journey and I cannot imagine crossing that road again. Thank goodness they do well at bedtime. I have friends that haven''t trained their kids to sleep on their own bed yet. Imagine a queen size bed with 2 adults and 2+ kids on it.

Also, my body wasn''t made to have kids. It took me over a year to heal from the pregnancy/labor with my first and I just recently felt okay from the 2nd (she''s 10 months old).

 

[vespergirl]

For us it wasn''t a difficult decision, since both DH & I always wanted 2 kids. (I wanted 2 boys, he wanted a boy & a girl). I also wanted my kids spaced 3-4 years apart. Now I am pregnant with my second boy, and he will be 3 and a half years younger than his older brother, so I am lucky in that I''m getting exactly the situation that I hoped for.

2 kids was my maximum, so we are definitely done after this one. Also, I am 33, and my doctors all advised that it''s safest to be done having babies by the time you turn 35, so I wouldn''t want to have another child at advanced maternal age and then have to worry about amnio and genetic abnormalities.

I also always wanted to be a SAHM until the youngest was around 4, and then go back for an advanced degree once my kids start full-day school. So, I didn''t want to wait forever to go back to school. We are lucky in that everything has worked out so far the way we had hoped.

 

[Sha]

Thanks for your thoughts/comments. It''s interesting to hear each person''s thoughts on having/adding to their family. I can get where each one of you is coming from, I think.

Finance seems to be a biggie.... daycare seems pretty expensive in the U.S/UK. I wouldn''t be able to afford 2 children in daycare at those rates either. How sad, though, that some couples who may want more children feel they can''t, simply because childcare costs are too high. And being a stay-at-home parent may just not be affordable.... Hmmmm.

To those of you who feel your family is complete, how do you think you would cope if a surprise baby came along? Do you think things would fall into place, or would you resent the extra work//attention/sacrifice/expense involved?

Does 2012 (and whatever might happen then) factor into anyone''s decision to have/not have more?

 

[Dreamer_D]

TGal I''m gonna get all psychological on yo'' ass

, but it is interesting that you describe yourself and "laid back" or lazy and that is why you don''t want a second (in part anyways)... the reasons you describe for not wanting another are anything but laid back! You want to do things yourself without help in the beginning (you said this somewhere else), want to make sure things are done right, that sleep is on schedule, you worry about the fears of being pregnant and colic and all of those things. Those sound like anxieties and fears and worries to me, not at all being too laid back for another

I''m not saying you should or shouldn''t have another, but I do think it is useful for all of us to examine our feelings and call a spade a spade. FWIW, I don''t think fear should ever motivate our choices in life. Unless it causes us to avoid a pack of rabid dogs. That is valid.

Next week on the Dr. dreamer show... My toddler weighs 100lbs

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 2/18/2010 9:56:43 PM
Author: Sha

Does 2012 (and whatever might happen then) factor into anyone''s decision to have/not have more?

What is happening in 2012? The summer olympics?

 

[Mara]

I seriously hope the world is not ending in 2012 cuz we JUST had our baby boy. I''d like more than 2 years with him.

On a similar note, we just watched I Am Legend and I was like ''really if this happens I will be so pissed!!!''.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 2/18/2010 10:49:31 PM
Author: Mara
I seriously hope the world is not ending in 2012 cuz we JUST had our baby boy. I''d like more than 2 years with him.

On a similar note, we just watched I Am Legend and I was like ''really if this happens I will be so pissed!!!''.

The don''t read "The Road" by Cormac McCarthy (sp?).

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 2/18/2010 10:10:40 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie
TGal I''m gonna get all psychological on yo'' ass

, but it is interesting that you describe yourself and ''laid back'' or lazy and that is why you don''t want a second (in part anyways)... the reasons you describe for not wanting another are anything but laid back! You want to do things yourself without help in the beginning (you said this somewhere else), want to make sure things are done right, that sleep is on schedule, you worry about the fears of being pregnant and colic and all of those things. Those sound like anxieties and fears and worries to me, not at all being too laid back for another

I''m not saying you should or shouldn''t have another, but I do think it is useful for all of us to examine our feelings and call a spade a spade. FWIW, I don''t think fear should ever motivate our choices in life. Unless it causes us to avoid a pack of rabid dogs. That is valid.

Next week on the Dr. dreamer show... My toddler weighs 100lbs

LOL Dreamer, what it DOES mean is that I''m lazy. I''ll always do what is necessary in my book, but it takes a lot out of me.

I did it myself for the first 4.5 months (until my mat leave was over) because I really felt it wasn''t fair to rely on my mom. She''s older and my dad was sick (on his deathbed) at the time. Amelia was born in April, my dad died June 25th. Even if I wanted her to help, I could not ask (and honestly, I didn''t want to anyway. I''m also a loner which means it''s a lot better on my sanity to deal with things myself). She mourned for 100 days, but was able to help me when I came off maternity leave. So there were more reasons than one why I managed on my own.

Sleep needs to be on schedule and done early because I refuse to be one of those moms who was struggling with sleep issues a year to two years down the road. Sorry, not for me. I''m smart enough to know what works for me, and if it meant some stress early on to reap the rewards later, that''s why I did it. Toil now, harvest later. My BFF had her kids on 12 hours at 3 and 4 months. It''s what I wanted because I kew in the scheme of things, 3-4 months was a blip in time, even though it felt like an eternity.

I know I''m lazy. I''m calling a spade a spade on that one. If I could, I''d sit my kid in front of the TV all day and surf the web. But I know that''s not right. So it takes a lot of effort for me to raise her the way I think is right. But that doesn''t mean it comes naturally.

 

[Mrs Mitchell]

I can relate to the lazy parent!
I have to work at it too, I''m a natural sloth and I like sloth, at that.
DH on the other hand is a high energy, high octane natural parent. The contrast between us is stark.

A constant, living reminder of my laziness. Kid seems OK, though - I like to think we offer balance

If you want to chill out and play with your toys or look at a book, find mummy. If you want to tear around the garden on a scooter, daddy is a better bet. Mummy makes nicer dinners, though. Yeah, balance!

 

[Pandora II]

Date: 2/19/2010 6:19:41 AM
Author: Mrs Mitchell
I can relate to the lazy parent!
I have to work at it too, I''m a natural sloth and I like sloth, at that.
DH on the other hand is a high energy, high octane natural parent. The contrast between us is stark.

A constant, living reminder of my laziness. Kid seems OK, though - I like to think we offer balance

If you want to chill out and play with your toys or look at a book, find mummy. If you want to tear around the garden on a scooter, daddy is a better bet. Mummy makes nicer dinners, though. Yeah, balance!

Ah yes, sloths... what I will ACTUALLY be in my next life rather than just the living embodiment of one in this...

Did I mention that I can''t wait for DD to start doing jigsaws?

 

[vespergirl]

Date: 2/19/2010 12:19:38 AM
Author: TravelingGal

LOL Dreamer, what it DOES mean is that I''m lazy. I''ll always do what is necessary in my book, but it takes a lot out of me.

I did it myself for the first 4.5 months (until my mat leave was over) because I really felt it wasn''t fair to rely on my mom. She''s older and my dad was sick (on his deathbed) at the time. Amelia was born in April, my dad died June 25th. Even if I wanted her to help, I could not ask (and honestly, I didn''t want to anyway. I''m also a loner which means it''s a lot better on my sanity to deal with things myself). She mourned for 100 days, but was able to help me when I came off maternity leave. So there were more reasons than one why I managed on my own.

Sleep needs to be on schedule and done early because I refuse to be one of those moms who was struggling with sleep issues a year to two years down the road. Sorry, not for me. I''m smart enough to know what works for me, and if it meant some stress early on to reap the rewards later, that''s why I did it. Toil now, harvest later. My BFF had her kids on 12 hours at 3 and 4 months. It''s what I wanted because I kew in the scheme of things, 3-4 months was a blip in time, even though it felt like an eternity.

I know I''m lazy. I''m calling a spade a spade on that one. If I could, I''d sit my kid in front of the TV all day and surf the web. But I know that''s not right. So it takes a lot of effort for me to raise her the way I think is right. But that doesn''t mean it comes naturally.

Wait, is that bad? (As I sit here on PS while my 3 year old is watching PBS Kids)

 

[janinegirly]

I totally get what TGAL is saying too. Some people are just naturally high energy and want to be on the go all the time and others would rather veg on the couch with a good book or some trash TV. I'm naturally low energy/lazy whatever you want to call it too, so yes, it takes alot more effort to try to keep things at a certain level, especially as one gets older. Even just the high pitch voice isn't something I can do without effort, but I know I want to make her world as entertaining, fulfilling and high energy as I can so I do it! Still there are moments when I really need couch time and I do plop her in front of the TV or a blinking toy for a bit--I'm not quite as tough as TGAL .

I think it's really hard for most people to comprehend not wanting 2 (I'm not necessarily speaking for me--but do see how those with one have to constantly justify the reasoning to exhaustive lengths at times). Yet everyone gets why 3 or 4 or more is a bit challenging. I think we all understand the sibling issue and that is by far the biggest influencing factor--but when it comes to also taking into account one's lifestyle, goals, limitations based on finances, age, energy level,etc.--then is the reasoning really that different from 1-2 to 3-4 or more?

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 2/19/2010 10:25:05 AM
Author: janinegirly
I totally get what TGAL is saying too. Some people are just naturally high energy and want to be on the go all the time and others would rather veg on the couch with a good book or some trash TV. I''m naturally low energy/lazy whatever you want to call it too, so yes, it takes alot more effort to try to keep things at a certain level, especially as one gets older. Even just the high pitch voice isn''t something I can do without effort, but I know I want to make her world as entertaining, fulfilling and high energy as I can so I do it! Still there are moments when I really need couch time and I do plop her in front of the TV or a blinking toy for a bit--I''m not quite as tough as TGAL .

I think it''s really hard for most people to comprehend not wanting 2 (I''m not necessarily speaking for me--but do see how those with one have to constantly justify the reasoning to exhaustive lengths at times). Yet everyone gets why 3 or 4 or more is a bit challenging. I think we all understand the sibling issue and that is by far the biggest influencing factor--but when it comes to also taking into account one''s lifestyle, goals, limitations based on finances, age, energy level,etc.--then is the reasoning really that different from 1-2 to 3-4 or more?

Um, no...I definitely do this. What I said I was sometimes I wish I could do it ALL day. But even the most lax parent in that regard will usually say that 12 hours of TV a day is a bad idea.

 

[Mara]

Date: 2/19/2010 10:48:48 AM
Author: TravelingGal
Um, no...I definitely do this. What I said I was sometimes I wish I could do it ALL day. But even the most lax parent in that regard will usually say that 12 hours of TV a day is a bad idea.

That depends. Are they watching Food Network and slowly becoming a Master Chef? Because that could be a GOOD idea.

 

[Sha]

LOL!!!

Y''all are cracking me up...