Anyone here NOT having kids?

[MakingTheGrade]

This will probably sound weird, but as a kid, I didn''t think I ever wanted to be married, but I knew I wanted a child, lol.

Have any of you seen the movie Idiocracy? There''s a part of me that wants to procreate with my husband just to prevent that movie from coming true, lol.

 

[Bliss]

You know, I never truly understood how personal it was to ask the kid question until I experienced it myself. I will never ever ask (not that I ever did) when people are going to have kids. You just never know what the couple is going through.

On our end, when we were going through a miscarriage, there was NOTHING more painful than random people asking me when I was going to get pregnant... or how we better hurry up and have kids. It made me want to scream. One coworker would come up to me and say, "Are you pregnant yet? You're pregnant, aren't you? I can tell!" She meant well, but when I was indeed pregnant and in the process of losing my baby... it was almost too much to bear. It boggles my mind how people, no matter how well meaning, can ask such deeply personal questions. But the truth is, most people can't see the world outside of themselves. They just don't know any better, unfortunately.

I mean, I can't imagine how painful it would be if a woman desperately wanted a child but was infertile... how awful it would be for people to continue to ask her. Similarly, it is just as harassing to ask people who have made a personal choice not to have a child. Sigh. I feel for you brave people who have made a personal choice and still get heckled about it! From the kid-wanting side of the equation, I'm sorry on behalf of my clueless peers!

 

[hihowareyou]

I''m really keen to have kids but wanted to chime in with support for all those who have decided to make the decision to go with what is right for them. I still can''t understand why anyone would try to coax another couple into doing something like have kids. I can''t understand the selfish argument at all either. In my mind what would be selfish is parents who don''t really want children having them just so they can fit in with some socially constructed idea of normality. With children I think you need to be willing to put 100% in for them at all times so becoming a parent because you ''should'' not because you ''want to'' to me seems very selfish. Lets face it, the human race isn''t about to die out due to lack of breeding.

I think it is really brave to stand up for what is right in your life despite what others think and I''m sorry that you have to deal with people who don''t respect your choices.

 

[sctsbride09]

Haven- From a very early age, I can remember not wanting children. I have always felt this way, EXCEPT after Dh and I got married. For about 2 months, I had baby fever, but I think its natural (from what I read on here at least) for some women to feel that. It had nothing to do with me wanting to actually parent someone, more my hormones giving me the a-ok, KWIM? The thought of having to raise a human being for 18 years, and longer, holds zero appeal for DH and I. As far as my husband, he has never had an interest in kids. I highly doubt either of us will change our minds.

 

[plantationcatt]

*confession-I do want kids*

But I can''t for the life of me understand why anyone would want people to procreate that didn''t want kids to begin with?

I mean, honestly, the best choice is the one YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE MAKING. How can anyone contest that?

The toughest part of dealing with inquisitive people is trying to remember that they mean well (most of them).

 

[Bella_mezzo]

We definitely want kids, but my BFF and her fiance don''t at all. That''s totally their business IMO. If they don''t want to raise kids why on earth would someone want to pressure them to do so? That sounds like a miserable situation for everyone!

Bliss, My heart goes out to you for all you''ve been through this fall. I hope you and your husband and grieving and healing. I know that you''ll have a baby in your arms when the time is right, but you''ll always have this "Halloween baby" in your heart.

Thanks for the heads up on how personal the seemingly innocuous "when are you having kids" question can be. We just started TTC and the question is starting to seem a lot more personal now.