What do you think of December?

[blacksand]

Finally, I can come out of lurking and post in BWW. So excited to be able to "officially" join you over here.

My fiance and I, for various reasons, will have to have a fairly long engagement. We looked at the timing and determined we'd be ready to get married in December 2012 (no sooner than that). At first we laughed, said we'd never want to get married in December, and thought about the following Spring instead. But I just didn't like the look of 2013! I don't want to wait that long! So I started joking that we should have a Mayan apocalypse wedding on December 22, 2012 (the day after the world ends). It was a joke, at first. Then I started thinking about having a Christmas wedding. Posing outside in a white fur-trimmed cape. Church and reception venue already decked out for Christmas. Out-of-town relatives already home for Christmas anyway. Ornaments as favors. Christmas carols during the cocktail hour. Spiced wine and a hot chocolate bar with different mix-ins and toppings.

And now I totally want that. All of it. My family was more or less on board with the idea. For family, a date close to Christmas may actually work out better, since everyone will already be gathered in one spot, and the 22nd should give people enough time to recuperate before Christmas Eve/Christmas activities kick in. Snow is a concern, but isn't bad weather always a concern?

Here are the cons: 1) My FI has not yet talked to his family, but he doesn't think they'll like it. They hate snow. They're extremely cautious drivers. They've been known to cancel birthday celebrations because it's raining. Not snowing, not a hurricane, just normal rain. They don't like to drive in it. I really can't imagine them skipping out on our wedding because of a little snow, but FI thinks it's a possibility. I really doubt they would, but who knows? 2) Friends, especially friends from out of town, might not be able to make it. Anybody traveling elsewhere for Christmas would have a hard time getting to our wedding and still making their travel plans in time. 3) Ok, snow is a concern. If the weather is bad, we will certainly have some no-shows. My main concern is FI's family, though.

Your thoughts? Is anyone here planning a December wedding, or has anyone had a wedding in late December? Tell me everything. I have no idea how to plann a wedding.

 

[Autumnovember]

I have 0 useful info to give you but just wanted to let you know that I think December weddings can be so wonderfully *magical*....love it.

ETA: Personally, FI and I picked a wedding date that WE loved. We weren't trying to make every person happy and we knew the possibilities of some people being unable to attend before we set it. Neither of our family's were involved in helping us pick the date. Maybe thats just us though? This doesn't have anything to do with us not being close with our families because I'm actually SUPER close to my family and I think it was understood beforehand that this was a decision that him and I *only* would be making (we are paying for the wedding on our own).

Theres always going to be con's for each season. Theres always going to be unsatisfied people and a range of different of opinions. There are always going to be people who can't make it. Do what makes you guys happy.

 

[blacksand]

Thanks Autumn. I am officially sold on the December date. I always wanted pale, frosty blue and white decorations. I think it would be lovely to incorporate some snowflakes and crystals into that.

I expected my family to hate the idea, but they were on board and said whatever works for us; they'll find a way to make it work! FI thinks his family will be more resistant. It's not so much that we are trying to please everyone as that we certainly don't want to have a wedding they can't/won't come to! But if I'm being honest, I think his family would say the same as mine. They love us, they'll work around whatever we want to do. Honestly, I think the biggest hurdle is getting FI 100% on board. I think he likes the idea, but he's not completely sold yet. He would prefer a wedding in the Fall, but that's just not possible unless we wait until 2013, which is a looooooong way away.

 

[amc80]

Any date you pick in any location will be hard for some people; that's just the way life works. Do what makes you guys happy, first and foremost.

 

[Autumnovember]

Thanks Autumn. I am officially sold on the December date. I always wanted pale, frosty blue and white decorations. I think it would be lovely to incorporate some snowflakes and crystals into that.

I expected my family to hate the idea, but they were on board and said whatever works for us; they'll find a way to make it work! FI thinks his family will be more resistant. It's not so much that we are trying to please everyone as that we certainly don't want to have a wedding they can't/won't come to! But if I'm being honest, I think his family would say the same as mine. They love us, they'll work around whatever we want to do. Honestly, I think the biggest hurdle is getting FI 100% on board. I think he likes the idea, but he's not completely sold yet. He would prefer a wedding in the Fall, but that's just not possible unless we wait until 2013, which is a looooooong way away.

The crystal aspect is my FAVORITE part. I'm in loooove with sparkles....we're having tons of crystals Snow is so sparkly

 

[sonnyjane]

Well, I love December weddings since I had one in 2008 Although mine was in Maui, so it didn't really feel like December. We had to do it at that time because my husband's work schedule pretty much ensures that the only time of year he can possibly take vacation is the week of Christmas, so we got married on December 23rd, which also happens to be Festivus a la Seinfeld lol. I also like it because it makes the holiday season extra special since we have multiple things to celebrate.

My only advice would be to not take it too personally if some of your guests can't attend. It is definitely a time of year when people have a lot of other plans, so focus on getting you and the immediate family members that you want there accommodated, and then everything else will be a bonus.

 

[manderz]

I just wanted to say that I LOVE the idea of a December wedding. I was actually thinking that my 10th anniversary would be an awesome wedding day, which is 12-24-12. Also, my brother and his lovely gf have been working on a timeline, and they had a tenative wedding date of 12-21-12, the "end of the world". I was shocked that our dates were so similar, I hadn't even talked to FI about it, let alone anyone else. I think it would be very cool. Funny thing too, her name is also Amanda

 

[blacksand]

Thanks, sonnyjane. It's good advice. I'm starting to put feelers out with family and my closest friends to see if a late December wedding would be possible for them. I really feel like, given enough notice, most of them should be able to make it with no problem. But I know some of them will have to decline. I'll have to get used to the idea of a smaller crowd!

manderz, that is funny! Though I do have to say, your poor family might be exhausted after attending two weddings right before Christmas (if you celebrate Christmas, that is)! But my feeling is that the people who love you will move mountains to be there. I know I've attended many weddings that were inconvenient for me, including one on December 23 in Venezuela. But I'd never complain about it. I had an amazing time at the Venezuelan wedding! Yes, it was hard not being able to go home in time for Christmas with my family, but I wouldn't have traded it for anything. I was glad to be there for my dear friend and salsa dance the night away. Inconvenience be damned. I know there will be some people who just won't be able to make it, and that's okay, too. But I think our closest family and friends will make it happen, and we'll all have a great time.

I am getting really excited about this date now! I hope we'll be able to pull it off!

 

[manderz]

I agree. FI and I are planning on either eloping or having a small destination wedding, so it realistically may not work out. Plus, with me in school and FI working a not fantastic job after losing his last fall, I don't even know if it would, since we would be paying for everything. We may have to wait til our 11th or 12th anniversary. Honestly, I know that there's no way that it could realistically work. But, I have fallen in love with the idea of a December wedding, and I want to make sure my anniversary stays the same. We're in no big rush though.

I know that you want to make sure everyone you care about makes it there. I'm sure that the most important people to you will be happy to skip Christmas celebrations to share in your day. Christmas comes every year. Your wedding? Not so much.

 

[purselover]

Hi Blacksand, congrats on your engagement! If you do a search for my wedding pics you'll see that I had a Christmas wedding (we got married December 26th 2009) and it turned out really well! We had gingerbread houses for centerpieces, a cake shaped like a stack of presents, I had holly berries and pine cones in my bouquet, our favors were candy canes, holiday cookies and holiday wine. We also had Christmas trees, wreaths, eggnog martinis the whole works really. One of the best parts was the string quartet playing music from the Nutcracker during the cocktail hour! I was slightly worried people would complain it being right after Christmas but everyone loved a reason to keep the festive spirit one more day! Let me know if you have any questions about a Christmas wedding, I'd be happy to help!

 

[FrekeChild]

I had an early January wedding.

Regardless of the time of year, the people who want to be there, will be there.

My FIL didn't come...guess he didn't really want to be there. He certainly had the means and he didn't have any scheduling or weather conflicts...

 

[manderz]

Hi Blacksand, congrats on your engagement! If you do a search for my wedding pics you'll see that I had a Christmas wedding (we got married December 26th 2009) and it turned out really well! We had gingerbread houses for centerpieces, a cake shaped like a stack of presents, I had holly berries and pine cones in my bouquet, our favors were candy canes, holiday cookies and holiday wine. We also had Christmas trees, wreaths, eggnog martinis the whole works really. One of the best parts was the string quartet playing music from the Nutcracker during the cocktail hour! I was slightly worried people would complain it being right after Christmas but everyone loved a reason to keep the festive spirit one more day! Let me know if you have any questions about a Christmas wedding, I'd be happy to help!

This sounds SO fun! I'm off to check out pics

 

[blacksand]

purselover- Gorgeous photos! I love it! Visions of sugarplums! I'm so glad it turned out so well for you, and that your friends and family came and enjoyed it! It sounds and looks amazing. I hope my wedding turns out half as good.

FrekeChild, sorry about your FIL. But I agree. I think the people who want to be there will be there. I know my family would rent their own snow plow if they had to and find a way! FI is really worried about his family. They've cancelled dinners before because of the rain, and they cancelled our Christmas gathering this year because of snow. But in both cases, we rescheduled. It was maybe a little disappointing, but we rescheduled and we all still got together. Our wedding can't be rescheduled. I truly cannot see them missing it, unless there is a disaster on par with the actual Mayan apocalypse. They are lovely, caring people. They will do everything in their power to be there.

So far, everyone we have talked to has been on board. The one who will probably have the most difficult time getting there (a dear friend whom I'd like to have as a bridesmaid), was absolutely adamant that we should have our wedding when we want, and she'll find a way to get there! Even a few of my friends overseas have said they'll be there. I really don't expect them all to miss Christmas with their families to come. But for now, they're saying they will!

So I think we are sticking with it. So exciting! I can't believe we have an actual date!

 

[turboflgrl]

Personally (and I know I'm not in the majority here..lol) I feel that having it so close to the holidays is a no-no. The only exception would be if the date is significant in regards to your relationship. I went to a wedding that was on December 18th - that was fine in my opinion but any closer would've been questionable. But hey, if all your friends/fam are for it then be my guest! Haha. It's great that you have such a supportive family. Congrats on picking a date!

 

[blacksand]

I don't think you are in the minority, turboflgrl, and I appreciate your input! I was afraid I'd hear the same from many of my friends and family, but so far, they've been agreeable.

The date in and of itself is not particularly significant, except that it's basically the earliest date we could possibly get married, due to a few complications that have arisen here. It's already a longer wait than I think either of us wanted. We did the math and realized the end of December 2012 is basically the soonest manageable time. We didn't want to get married in December at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I loved the idea of a Christmastime wedding.

I hope my friends and family will be honest as you have! If enough people express concerns about the date, we would certainly be willing to change it.

It just occurred to me that we moved into our house on the Saturday before Christmas this past year. We told all our friends and family that we didn't expect any help moving or any visitors since it was so close to Christmas and such a busy time. I think we had 20 people show up anyway, and the biggest issue of the day was parking! I'd say we have a pretty awesome and dedicated group.

 

[slg47]

ok I'm not trying to sound harsh...but if your entire FI's family might not make it? That seems like a pretty big concern. Has he talked to them about it?

 

[blacksand]

I'm honestly pretty sure FI is being ridiculous when he says that is a concern! Yes, of course we've talked to them. His parents said "well, there might be snow...but Christmastime would be very nice." His sister and brother-in-law just said "oh! that would be cool!" FI was worried about them not coming, but seriously, it's less than an hour's drive for them and we'll have a hotel nearby so they can come by the night before. None of them would be flying or anything. They are very lovely, supportive people, and I am pretty sure they really would not miss our wedding unless it were the actual Mayan apocalypse, and then we wouldn't be getting married anyway. The only one who has said anything about them not coming is FI. The actual relatives in question were on board when we talked to them. FI is being dramatic.

Personally, I think you'd have to be pretty horrible to not come to your son's wedding, unless it were truly physically impossible for you to get there, but that's just me. I realize not everyone is that close to their families, but we are. FI's family are wonderful people. They'll be there.

And as I've said, if enough people expressed concern about the date, we'd be willing to change it. Of course this includes [especially!] FI's family. But they haven't thus far.

My thinking is that it's ridiculous to discard an entire season out of the year (and in our case, the possibility of getting married next year altogether) because there might be bad weather. We could just as easily have a hurricane in summer. And I went to one wedding in April where we got three feet of snow! There might be bad weather anytime. I just don't think we can allow that to be a factor. Now, if the date is a problem for people because of the holidays, that's a different story, and in that case, we'd reconsider.

 

[rosetta]

Last year two people's weddings got cancelled due to snow, that I know of.

We are not good at handling snow in the uk yet so I would not chose a winter wedding. It was a complete disaster, I felt so sorry for the families.

But if you don't have these risks, go for it!

 

[slg47]

oh, ok, from your initial post it sounded like they really were opposed to it. if everyone is on board, then great! and you are definitely right, people who want to be there will be there.

 

[blacksand]

rosetta, were those December weddings that were canceled? Yikes. I can honestly say I've never heard of a wedding being canceled due to weather. For my cousin's wedding, when we got three feet of snow (in April!), her now husband pulled out all the stops, hired a private plow, shoveled out the venue and the church, arranged transportation for guests, picked up the caterers, hairstylists, etc. and brought them to the venue himself (and brought them home afterward). It was CRAZY but they pulled it off! A lot of people were late. In fact, I myself missed the ceremony, but I got there in time for the reception with the help of an uncle and his truck! It was insane, but almost all the guests got there, and everyone had an amazing time. Hers is by far the most-talked-about wedding in the family to this day! Of course, no bride wants that for her wedding day, but now everyone laughs about it. It was a good time.

Around here, we usually get much more snow in late January and February than we do in December. My birthday is in February, and every year, I plan a party, and every year, we get a horrible snowstorm on my birthday. And every year, I fret and worry and telll FI that no one is going to come. And every year, they come! Just about all of my family and friends (and his, too!) show up no matter what. This year we had to shovel our butts off and put down 25 lbs. of rock salt, but we got everybody in. But we rarely get weather that bad in December. It's usually just cold and windy then. I really don't think December 22nd should be too bad. But you never know!

 

[TooPatient]

I was searching for something the other day and saw that there is "wedding insurance". You might take a look and see what exactly it is and if it is something that would help keep you from stressing as the day gets closer. I think they've got different options so you aren't stuck with big fees and stuff if there is a medical emergency or BAD weather (not just a drizzle probably).


Anyway, I think your December wedding sounds like it could be absolutely beautiful and memorable (in a good way!). I think as long as the people you really want to be there are okay with it being that close to Christmas then you should go for it!

 

[rosetta]

We had a foot of snow and the roads were so dangerous, no one dared to drive. So they were cancelled, all costs lost as they didn't have wedding insurance)

Snow came earlier that year so yes I'm afraid it was December.

Another winter wedding I went to only about 20% of guests showed up due to bad weather. Lots with kids weren't going to risk it on the black ice on the roads (my car got stuck in a supermarket car park that year!)

Sorry to scare you, but winter weddings are a risk that you don't have in summer (unless you live in hurricane territory)

I would be really careful here.

 

[blacksand]

Thanks rosetta! It's definitely good advice. Just as I said, I've never known anyone to cancel a wedding for weather, nor have my friends or family ever let a little snow get them down. Most people come and stay at hotel the night before anyway, so I figure they have a little leeway as far as transportation goes. I don't know, anything can happen, but I still think discarding a whole season is a little extreme. I've been to a lot of summer weddings with horrific weather, too. Who knows? Maybe I'll eat my words later. But I'm of the opinion that there will be something wrong with whatever date we choose.

Will keep it in mind, though, and talk to FI about it. I'll look into wedding insurance, too. Sounds like it could come in handy.

 

[rosetta]

Yup definitely look into insurance! Make sure you know which weather conditions are covered and not just major adverse weather.

I'm obviously biased because I've been invited to three winter weddings that went belly up! That's really unlucky.