wedding planning when youre a Facebook junkie

[FutureMrsMRS]

I love FB. I spend a lot of time on there. I update constantly and have a lot of interaction with my FB friends. I don''t have a whole mess of them, maybe around 100 people, friends, family, some of FI''s friends & family...

I sent out STD''s and people have been receiving them (Yay!) and I''d love to gush & gush about plans on FB. However, there are a lot of people that will not be invited to the wedding. We''d like to keep our guestlist to around 50~60.

When we announced the engagement, there were already people "inviting" themselves (in the form of: I can''t wait til the wedding!) Type of stuff. I try to cure my ''need'' for this (LOL!) by blogging and PS, and my two good friends.

Ack! So do I gush on?? Would you feel ''left out''?

 

[elrohwen]

Unless your friends are extremely self-centered I''m pretty sure they''ll understand that not everybody is invited. I had some work friends ask if they were invited and I said probably, but then realized we just couldn''t invite everyone I worked with and was friends with. They didn''t care - they were just making conversation.

Though I''m not sure all of your FB friends will actually care about your gushing wedding updates, I don''t think they''ll feel left out either.

 

[choro72]

If my fb friend updated as often as you implied, I block their status. I actually have done this with several people. So no, I wouldn''t feel left out.

 

[princesss]

Date: 4/30/2010 2:07:39 PM
Author: elrohwen
Unless your friends are extremely self-centered I''m pretty sure they''ll understand that not everybody is invited. I had some work friends ask if they were invited and I said probably, but then realized we just couldn''t invite everyone I worked with and was friends with. They didn''t care - they were just making conversation.

Though I''m not sure all of your FB friends will actually care about your gushing wedding updates, I don''t think they''ll feel left out either.

Pretty much sums up what I was thinking.

Honestly, people can put on their big kid pants and realize they''re not invited to every event, even if they''d like to be. That''s just how the cookie crumbles sometimes.

 

[FutureMrsMRS]

Well, I don''t just post & post. LOL! Like I said, there''s a lot of interaction. Not a lot of ignoring. I update, lots of folks respond.

I do think family tends to *assume* they''ll be invited...Anyway, I guess there''s some who will get annoyed and some who won''t care.

Thanks Choro...love the snarky

 

[FutureMrsMRS]

Thanks Princess!

My concern wasn''t that *every* FB friend thinks they should be invited...its that I don''t have "random" FB friends...only family& friends and some of FI''s family & friends...people who DO tend to *assume* they should be invited.

 

[RaiKai]

I have a profile on there....but I think I log on about once a month, quickly remember why I don't go on more often (I detest status updates...I really do...and people who could fit in on STFU, Marrieds or STFU, Parents are blocked pretty quickly - this includes some extended family members!), and log off. So no, I would not feel left out as I probably would not even know. DH deleted his profile a few months ago and has never looked back. I really am not sure why I have not done the same yet other than that is one of the ways my mum likes to communicate with me since she lives in another part of the country and travels a lot.

I am pretty sure most people I am "friends" with on FB have little idea I am even married (never mind that I was engaged) unless they saw pictures I was tagged in that my mum put up or actually ventured into look at my albums where I put some up for some distant family (I did not "post" them to my page). I definitely did not gush about it...at all...on there.

Please, please do not be one of those people who gush and gush about wedding plans on FB! You may just end up on STFU, Marrieds!

 

[doodle]

Honestly, and I don''t mean this to sound mean at all, but if you were constantly updating about your wedding, by the time your wedding got here, I wouldn''t care anymore even if I were your own mother. To be fair, I have an extremely short attention span anyway, haha! I have a friend who has posted two or three times a day every day for the last year about her son--I mean all through the pregnancy and since he''s been born. As exciting as I know it was for her to experience every movement, every kick, every spit bubble, it''s just not as exciting for the rest of the world, ya know? Or maybe I''m just an evil person with a reserved parking spot waiting for me in hell, haha!

 

[legallyspoiled]

I have a FB account also and I update it a few times a day. However, I don''t plan on sharing every wedding detail via my account...even though it will probably kill me not to. First, I don''t want everyone knowing all of the details of my weddings in advance. I would prefer they be surprised. Two, I don''t want to inadvertently solicit the "feedback" of facebook friends on those details. Three, I don''t plan on inviting all 733 of my facebook friends. Although, I know all of them personally, my guestlist is capped at 250. I don''t want to rub the details in the face of friends who I am unable to invite. Finally, while I''m sure a number of my FB friends would enjoy my wedding updates, I''m sure some of them would find it quite annoying. Thus, I probably will share certain details but by no means will there be a play-by-play.

 

[FutureMrsMRS]

You understand my pain LegallySpoiled

Thanks ladies for the constructive feedback!

 

[legallyspoiled]

You can always share your ideas here with us! Or have you heard of www.weddingbee.com? Great site! Or maybe a blog for a select group of friends who do care and don''t mind listening? That is what I am doing because all of my bridesmaids, sisters, and my mom are on the east coast and I''m in Texas. It will be an easy way for me to share ideas, pictures, and updates and solicit comments and feedback.

 

[nkarma]

Date: 4/30/2010 2:10:48 PM
Author: choro72
If my fb friend updated as often as you implied, I block their status. I actually have done this with several people. So no, I wouldn't feel left out.

Ditto...this is in no offense to the OP, but man those people are annoying. First off, no one is that interesting and I don't really care if you drinking coffee and reading the newspaper. Second, those people always seem a little narcissistic to me because why do they think others care about them drinking coffee and reading the newspaper.

 

[princesss]

Date: 4/30/2010 4:28:59 PM
Author: nkarma

Date: 4/30/2010 2:10:48 PM
Author: choro72
If my fb friend updated as often as you implied, I block their status. I actually have done this with several people. So no, I wouldn''t feel left out.

Ditto...this is in no offense to the OP, but man those people are annoying. First off, no one is that interesting and I don''t really care if you drinking coffee and reading the newspaper. Second, those people always seem a little narcissistic to me because why do they think others care about them drinking coffee and reading the newspaper.

And that, in a nutshell, is why I hate Twitter.

 

[caribqueen]

I definitely made an effort to not post many wedding updates. But I do think once in a while there is no harm. I think it''s your right to be excited and it is what''s happening in your life right now. When I do post, I might ask a question or give a general comment and I''ll find that those who''ve been where I am (like my married FB friends) might chime in. But I keep it to a minimum because there is family on facebook that is not invited to the wedding and other FB friends probably don''t care to hear all the details.

 

[bee*]

Date: 4/30/2010 3:02:56 PM
Author: doodle
Honestly, and I don''t mean this to sound mean at all, but if you were constantly updating about your wedding, by the time your wedding got here, I wouldn''t care anymore even if I were your own mother. To be fair, I have an extremely short attention span anyway, haha! I have a friend who has posted two or three times a day every day for the last year about her son--I mean all through the pregnancy and since he''s been born. As exciting as I know it was for her to experience every movement, every kick, every spit bubble, it''s just not as exciting for the rest of the world, ya know? Or maybe I''m just an evil person with a reserved parking spot waiting for me in hell, haha!

Well I''ll see you there doodle because I feel the same. I have a friend who''s planning her wedding at the moment and she gushes NON STOP about it on FB. I''ve done as choro has and have just blocked her. I got married last year, I understand how exciting the lead up is to it but I don''t need to hear every little detail about planning and how she''s feeling every time I log on. It''s boring to everyone but the bride to be. Gush to your FI if you need to spill details.

 

[Iowa Lizzy]

I''ve posted occasionally about wedding plans on FB. I normally only update my status once or twice a week anyway. So my wedding updates have been pretty few and far between and they''re usually just little comments like: "wedding gown shopping with my sister!" or "cake tasting has been by far the best part of planning a wedding!" I have probably only posted about 5 or 6 wedding related statuses in the 10 months I''ve been engaged. I don''t have an extremely big friend''s list either (~200), and I know most people on there know they won''t be invited.

The first time I went gown shopping, I created a photo album and thought I made it so that only my parents, MOH and sisters could see it. Nope! Turns out, it was open to everyone on my friends list. I had a bunch of people comment on the dresses and I felt like a total douchenozzle. I was only posting it for a few people to see and give me their opinions. I deleted the album as soon as I realized it was open for anyone to see. I definitely didn''t want to be "that girl."

 

[iheartscience]

Yeah I would refrain from interactive wedding status updates, particularly if your friends are now thinking they''re all invited. I actually don''t know that I posted a single status update about the wedding planning and I''m on FB every single day. I''m not a prolific status updater to begin with and I do think it''s a little rude to go on and on about something most of your FB friends aren''t invited to.