sweetpea&babycorn
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Nov 4, 2009
- Messages
- 966
Tomorrow would be 2 months before my wedding, so I feel like I should let everyone know that I am not getting married. For those who have been so supportive and taking the time out to give me perspective and wisdom, thank you so much, it did not go wasted.
There were many events that led to us splitting up. Our relationship was all we could ever talk about, we couldn't go on normal dates, or enjoy each other's company. It really felt like a battlefield sometimes. We followed through counseling religiously, but it didn't seem to have a good enough impact for us. Towards the end, he said something that still breaks my heart whenever I think about it - he said that if we called off the wedding, he didn't think he ever wanted to get married. At the point I really felt the ultimatum from him and too much pressure to marry him. There was no way I could continue planning a wedding just because I felt it was the only way to be married.
It's been a few months since we split up and we still remain good friends. We share our adorable dog and there was nothing ugly about the split. It almost felt like our time was up, even though it hurt to say goodbye and move out of the house. We both know that there's a possibility of reuniting in the distant future, but there's a lot that we each have to figure out and improve on until then. Right now I'm trying to get used to living on my own, and learning that it's OK to lean on others for support which has really helped me get through this new change in my life. I've also even been able to go on a few dates which have been nice, but I'm in no rush to start a relationship. Some days I miss my ex-fiance like crazy (the bad days), and other days I know I did the right thing (the good days). But I have a huge support system that gets me through each day and I am forever grateful for that.
All this makes me think how funny life can be. I spent the last two years or so having a crystal clear idea of what my life would be like, and where it would go. And over the course of just six months it all changed. That's not to say it's all bad though. I've learned so much from the 6 years I spent with him and have been able to reflect on where I can improve as a person and as a significant other for my future relationships. I've been able to refocus myself on the relationships I do have now with friends and family and really appreciate all the good things around me. My sister got married in March and is expecting a baby boy in September. My brother is starting college at BU in the fall, I survived my first year of medical school, and my mom and I are taking a much needed vacation for both of us to China in June.
I've been lurking for a while, and finally feel ready to let everyone know what has been going on. Everyone has been so supportive here and I wish all you wives-to-be all the best! <3 <3
There were many events that led to us splitting up. Our relationship was all we could ever talk about, we couldn't go on normal dates, or enjoy each other's company. It really felt like a battlefield sometimes. We followed through counseling religiously, but it didn't seem to have a good enough impact for us. Towards the end, he said something that still breaks my heart whenever I think about it - he said that if we called off the wedding, he didn't think he ever wanted to get married. At the point I really felt the ultimatum from him and too much pressure to marry him. There was no way I could continue planning a wedding just because I felt it was the only way to be married.
It's been a few months since we split up and we still remain good friends. We share our adorable dog and there was nothing ugly about the split. It almost felt like our time was up, even though it hurt to say goodbye and move out of the house. We both know that there's a possibility of reuniting in the distant future, but there's a lot that we each have to figure out and improve on until then. Right now I'm trying to get used to living on my own, and learning that it's OK to lean on others for support which has really helped me get through this new change in my life. I've also even been able to go on a few dates which have been nice, but I'm in no rush to start a relationship. Some days I miss my ex-fiance like crazy (the bad days), and other days I know I did the right thing (the good days). But I have a huge support system that gets me through each day and I am forever grateful for that.
All this makes me think how funny life can be. I spent the last two years or so having a crystal clear idea of what my life would be like, and where it would go. And over the course of just six months it all changed. That's not to say it's all bad though. I've learned so much from the 6 years I spent with him and have been able to reflect on where I can improve as a person and as a significant other for my future relationships. I've been able to refocus myself on the relationships I do have now with friends and family and really appreciate all the good things around me. My sister got married in March and is expecting a baby boy in September. My brother is starting college at BU in the fall, I survived my first year of medical school, and my mom and I are taking a much needed vacation for both of us to China in June.
I've been lurking for a while, and finally feel ready to let everyone know what has been going on. Everyone has been so supportive here and I wish all you wives-to-be all the best! <3 <3
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