Spoiled Brat

[Independent Gal]

I'm feeling like a brat this morning. I was going through pictures of bouquets and wedding flowers and found myself longing for a more decadent wedding with a lavish Oscar de la Renta gown and beautiful party favours all wrapped in ribbon and gorgeous flowers everywhere EVERYWHERE! And wishing that I wasn't trying to do things (except the food) as budget as possible, and wishing that we could just use the ceremony location I love, without worrying about the 2500 price tag.

I know that many women probably have a moment where they dream of having a more plush wedding, but I thought I pretty much had my head screwed on securely enough in terms of respecting FI and my financial priorities and stuff. I'm kind of surprised at myself.

Our wedding will be plenty beautiful. The food will be fab, the music will be good, and the venue for the party is gorgeous. We will be able to show our guests a lovely time. The thing is, I've only been scrimping on stuff that mostly affects me, not our guests, y'know? Only a brat thinks 'I want I want I want and I want EVERYTHING I want!' I have plenty. The important thing is to throw a lovely party for the people we love. And that is what we will do.

So go away, inner-bridezilla! Shoooo! Shoo!

But maybe I should pick one thing for ME that's a bit frivolous and makes me feel bridey. That wouldn't be bad, right?

 

[diamondfan]

Indy, there is a reason the bridal industry is huge. I think we all can get caught up in the whole fantasy extravaganza, even those gals and guys who are typically very practical and reasonable about other things in their lives. That is why this industry is huge and growing. Honestly, I got married over 17 years ago and had a very lavish wedding in Los Angeles at one of the most beautiful hotels in the world, and I had all the things I wanted, but I STILL can look back and think of the things I wished I had done differently. (personally I think that is why people sometimes have vow renewals after a period of time, since they tend to have the money and ideas at that point and can do things how they would like to).

Anyway, I certainly do not think you are a spoiled person at all, from reading your posts I think quite the opposite, so I would not think too much about this temporary aberation! It will all be stunning and gorgeous and wonderful.

 

[lyra]

I shouldn''t be commenting on any of these threads, but they''re here and I read them.

Just think, 20 years down the line, you will remember your wedding only for the best moments, and that''s it. You''ll have pictures of course, and that will help, but some of the many seemingly important details will actually be mostly forgotten. The things you''ll remember are your dress, your invitations, the vows, the moment you are pronounced husband and wife, walking into the reception, dancing, cutting the cake and leaving for the honeymoon. And that''s about it, honestly. They are wonderful moments that will make you smile (big smile!) 20 years later, but you''ll also think--why did all those smaller details matter so much?

Enjoy yourself, and know that it''s not going to be about the small details at all, and it''s going to be great even if the food is lousy and things are not perfect.

 

[Independent Gal]

You ladies are so right. I know it''s the industry that is sucking me in. And we are going to have a gorgeous wedding. In fact, we are going to have two gorgeous weddings. We are going to have the legal marriage on one of the most important historic spots in the history of the world, a place that''s very important to my FI. And my mom''s place, where the dinner after will be held is kind of like a small palace, with 5 acres of sculpted gardens with multiple fountains. She will get flowers at the flower market and one of the staff will decorate. The chef will knock himself out. It will be beautiful. And all of that is pretty much free. So I am actually pretty lucky for WP1!

And WP2 won''t be the most lavish thing ever, but it will be lovely. Lovely enough. And all the people I love will be there and we''ll dance the night away.

I am feeling a little better thinking about it. Partly because FI had to go into work, so I snuck out my dress and shoes and tried on the veil I made last night with the ensemble. OK, so my dress was 80% off at Nicole Miller. But it is a truly gorgeous and looks amazing on me. And the veil works perfectly. So I may scrap the birdcage idea after all!

Deeeep breaths. I am overall a tremendously lucky woman. And I count my blessings and appreciate them.

 

[Independent Gal]

It's funny because at first my dad said 'Think about your dream wedding!' and at that point, I had no idea what my dream wedding would look like! But now that reality and sensibility set in for all of us, I finally know what the 'dream' would look like.

Oh well! We'll have about 80% of the dream. That ain't bad, right?

 

[NewEnglandLady]

IG, if you were to buy the Oscar de le Renta gown, have a $250/plate dinner and spend $10,000 on flowers you''d kick yourself in the butt. You''d probably be so mad at yourself for spending that much money that you''d end up resenting the whole event.

It is easy to get sucked into the crazy, illogical, over-indulgant bridal industry which is why women drive themselves crazy over minute details. You haven''t been watching Platinum Weddings have you? My FI watch that sometimes and we sort of look at each other and say "Man, our wedding is LAME! We don''t even have a martini louge made out of ice with our initials carved in it!"

IG, your event will be lovely and it won''t be because of your dress or the flowers or the favors, it will be because everybody you love will be there to share in this event with you. And they wouldn''t care if you showed up in jeans and served them crackers!

 

[Independent Gal]

Yeah, it's true. When I think about the tiny flower budget I sort of sigh. And that's it. But when I heard yesterday that one of my mom's best friends won't be able to come, it was like WHAAA? NO!!!!!! and I was depressed all evening. I'd definitely trade my last flower to have her there. So I guess my head's still screwed on somewhat the right way.

I'm going to quit looking at any kind of bride **** for a while.

Besides, I know we just have other priorities right now. We'll need a bigger house (800 sq ft for a family of - hopefully - 4? I think not!) and we've already been set back a year saving for that because of the condo assessment. A more lavish wedding would set it back ANOTHER year. That's just silly.

 

[karasue91]

Date: 9/15/2007 7:21:02 PM
Author: Independent Gal
Yeah, it''s true. When I think about the tiny flower budget I sort of sigh. And that''s it. But when I heard yesterday that one of my mom''s best friends won''t be able to come, it was like WHAAA? NO!!!!!! and I was depressed all evening. I''d definitely trade my last flower to have her there. So I guess my head''s still screwed on somewhat the right way.

I''m going to quit looking at any kind of bride **** for a while.

Besides, I know we just have other priorities right now. We''ll need a bigger house (800 sq ft for a family of - hopefully - 4? I think not!) and we''ve already been set back a year saving for that because of the condo assessment. A more lavish wedding would set it back ANOTHER year. That''s just silly.

hahahaha bride ****....so true!!!

 

[little miss sunshine]

I think EVERYONE has those same exact feelings at least once during the whole wedding planning. I would agree that it''s the bridal **** as welll.... you can''t help but covet the designer bouquets and dresses and favor ideas, etc etc. I don''t think you are acting like a brat at all, in fact just the opposite. Sometimes I feel the same way, sort of like you are so sensible and practical and disciplined that you just want to go out and totally splurge irresponsibly on something... But it sounds like you got yourself out of that feeling - yay!!!