Save the Dates...when to send?

[marlie]

Hi all....
There are so many conflicting opinions on this and I can''t seem to make this decision! How far in advance should I send my save the dates? Some places say 6-9 months. Some places say 4-6 months..ugh! I''m kind of anxious to get them out the door and check it off my to-do list but I don''t want to send too early and the wedding is still 8 months away.

And in case this matters in your response...
-wedding is in the summer (july 31)
-about 30-40% will be traveling to NYC for it

Thanks in advance!

 

[wannaBMrsH]

I would say go ahead and get them out now. Especially with the holidays coming up.

We got word out as soon as we knew the venue and the dates. This is very important if people are traveling. Trust me, people won''t forget.

 

[MagsyMay]

8 months before the wedding seems to be a normal time frame, but the only thing that would make me hold off is the holidays coming up. I''d be worried people would lose it amongst the holiday/Christmas cards and possibly even throw it out, so I would probably wait until right after Christmas so it''s safe! Even if someone got it say, January 1st, that still is a full 7 months ahead of your wedding.

 

[shertz1981]

I'm one week after you (8/7), and I'm sending mine out in Jan. Probably 1/15-ish.

Of course, I'm *buying* them as soon as the venue contract is signed b/c Wedding Paper Divas has a good code

I would say 60-ish percent of our guests will be traveling

 

[laughwithme]

I am getting married June 26, will be sending save-the-dates in early January, and expect about 10% of my guests to travel.

I don''t think there is a hard and fast rule, but I would say either send them asap or immediately after the holidays, but maybe not during holidays, or people will wonder why you didn''t send a holiday card, as well

 

[princessplease]

I''d send them out. I already sent mine out, so I definitely feel like it''s not too early!!!

 

[hisdiamondgirl]

Sorry Marlie, I don''t know the answer, although I would venture a guess that now is probably the right time.
I hope you don''t mind my *threadjack* but does anyone know when they should be sent for a destination wedding? I''m thinking a year, but is that too soon?

 

[meresal]

Ours was July 25th and here is what our thinking was:

People are getting TONS of Holiday cards and Holiday party invites, it could just get thrown away and forgotten about in the mix.

We sent ours out the first week of the new year (I think on the 3rd or 4th of January), and it worked perfectly. Especially since that is when lots of people start to plan their vacation time for the year, it will be fresh on their mind.

ETA: Also, about 75% of our guest list was OOT. None of them made reservations until almost March if they were flying, and most that were driving didn't book their hotels until maybe two months before.

 

[meresal]

Date: 11/17/2009 2:28:36 PM
Author: hisdiamondgirl
Sorry Marlie, I don''t know the answer, although I would venture a guess that now is probably the right time.
I hope you don''t mind my *threadjack* but does anyone know when they should be sent for a destination wedding? I''m thinking a year, but is that too soon?

I would say at least 9 months. My best friend got engaged in July and had a DW at the beginning of Nov, and even though money wasn''t an issue, lack of remaining vacation time was.

If it is at the end of the year, I would let people know at the beginning of that year.

 

[hisdiamondgirl]

Date: 11/17/2009 3:05:53 PM
Author: meresal

Date: 11/17/2009 2:28:36 PM
Author: hisdiamondgirl
Sorry Marlie, I don''t know the answer, although I would venture a guess that now is probably the right time.
I hope you don''t mind my *threadjack* but does anyone know when they should be sent for a destination wedding? I''m thinking a year, but is that too soon?

I would say at least 9 months. My best friend got engaged in July and had a DW at the beginning of Nov, and even though money wasn''t an issue, lack of remaining vacation time was.

If it is at the end of the year, I would let people know at the beginning of that year.

Thanks Meresal. We are planning on a Feb 2011 DW, so I guess April/May of next year should be good then. I had been thinking a whole year ahead but I guess that''s probably not necessary!

 

[meresal]

Hisdiamondgirl- If you already know the details of the location and are sure about who you want to invite then I would send them out at the beginning of next year, if you want to. You can never give people "too much" time to save money.

ETA: If I was having to pay my own way to a DW, I would love as much notice as possible... I was more or less saying that it's not do or die if you don't plan more than a year in advance. Does that make sense?

FYI- We debated a DW, and if we had, then we were going to give our friends almost 2 years notice to save (Engaged in August 08 and married Spring 2010). We wanted to make sure that as many guests could make it as possible.

 

[mayachel]

Hi Marlie, for what it''s worth I am planning to send out my STD in early December for my 8/21 wedding. My cousin who is getting married in mid July sent hers out in December. I would say part of it is that we have a very large family. And will both be having around 160-180 guests. Most are out of town, including friends, as we are not having it where we currently live, but where my parents are.

I''m not in a huge rush as I think most people know that it is coming up, but since my cousin already sent hers, family have been asking where mine are.

 

[marlie]

thanks for all the replies!

I''m torn on this. I feel like either I send them right away or wait until the first week of the new year. Like Magsy and Meresal said, I don''t want them to get lost in a pile of holiday cards.

We are inviting about 315 people (yikes!) and are currently in the process of hounding fmil to cut her list. I don''t want to send unless she''s cut some more and she''s taking her sweet time! I''m leaning towards sending in January...it would be still nearly 7 months in advance. I know our invitations are going out Memorial Day weekend (per our calligrapher''s advice)...so the STD''s would be still 4 months prior. That''s probably good, right?

 

[mayachel]

Oops, I meant to say my cousin sent hers out in September...but none the less, it sounds like you need to get your list straight still. Obviously it doesn''t make sense to send them out till your sure. If you are wanting to accomplish something, why not address the ones that you are 100% on.

 

[meresal]

Marlie- if you are still trying to get her to cut her list, I would NOT Send the STD's out yet. Once they are sent there is no turning back.

As far as your FMIL's invites, he were our final numbers: ( We were originally shooting for 200-250 total)
We sent apprx 220 physical invitations, which included over 400 people... I didn't want to count the actual total. We got very lucky and only 230 RSVP'd, and I think about 250 actually showed up. There is still hope. However, unlike I did, be sure that your IL's realize that the list for STD's is the FINAL list. My MIL and FIL added about 15 more people when the actual invites went out, and then my FIL added 4 more families of between 4-6 of work associates that he "hadn't thought about" about 6 weeks before the wedding. Then 2 weeks before the wedding, we realized that FMIL neglected to put "and family" on her spreadsheet for about 10 people, though she told them verbally that their families were invited.. adding about 20 more people we weren't even sure about.

Please, Please, Please, don't let this happen to you

 

[marlie]

Meresal...yup, I''m thinking the same thing which is why I''m going to wait to send them. If her guest list wasn''t an issue, I''d probably be sending them out this weekend. But, I''d like her to cut-cut-cut! Not that she will but I''d like to hold out a little while longer just in case. I''m treating the STD list as the FINAL invite list. I know she''ll try to add people on but my family is in charge of invitations (ordering and mailing) so it''s going to be REALLY hard for her to get anyone else added. I think she realizes this which is why she''s being so annoying about the list now.

I think our MIL''s are sisters by the way. At FI''s brother''s wedding she added people up to the last week and they went over the maximum that the room could fit. AND, she complained that her friends had to sit outside of the room and suggested that FI''s SIL''s friends be the ones to sit outside of the ballroom. Um, excuse me?? ugh.

In any case, I think I''m sending them out on 12/31 so that they get to everyone right after the new year. I''ll address them over the next month or so and take my time. My mom wants me to send them now but understands why I feel i should hold back.