Planning a wedding in a different state?

[Callisto]

So I don''t post in BWW ever, as I am not even engaged yet, but I thought maybe someone here could help ease my mind about my situation.

SO and I have been together 3.5 years now and are planning to get engaged sometime in 2010... (or at least that''s what he''s led me to believe so let''s hope). We are both from the Chicago area and the majority of both of our families are from the midwest, however we are currently in Texas while SO finishes school. So the plan was to move back to the midwest after about one more year. Well now I''ve gone and applied to grad school here at the school he''s at (and where I work) and we will probably be here for another 2.5 years at minimum. I''m happy with this choice, but I can''t help wondering where in the world we''ll get married. I really don''t want to have a 2 year engagement so it would appear that we would get married while still living in Texas. However, I''d feel weird not getting married in Chicago and making all our friends and family travel across the country on our behalf.

So I guess I will be planning a destination wedding... in Chicago? Anyone here had to do that? Easier than you expected... harder than you expected... any words of wisdom?

 

[MagsyMay]

Hi! I am in a somewhat similar situation planning a wedding in Chicago and currently live in Indianapolis. It is a bit of a pain, I'm not going to lie, but probably mostly because I've been doing things so piecemeal and not really hurrying to get things done all at once. I have a bit of a luxury compared to you in that regard in that I can just simply drive back for the weekend, but in a way it probably makes me less productive!

Plenty of people on here have done it, in varying degrees of course. You'll be fine when the time comes I am sure!

 

[megumic]

Hey Callisto - kinda in the same boat as you! We''re currently planning a quasi-destination wedding about 2 hours away from where we currently live. We decided to do a "destination" location because we couldn''t find anywhere we wanted to get married nearby either side of the family - so we found a spot in the middle of everyone. All will end up traveling about two hours to attend our wedding.

We got engaged in August and found our venue in October. I''m a law student and although I''ll still be in school when we get married on 10.10.10, I decided I didn''t want my professional education to dictate my personal life. So we''re getting married during my 3rd year and I couldn''t be more excited! (Also gives us a good excuse to delay the honeymoon and save for an even better vacay!)

I''ll admit, it has been a bit of a pain because of both the distance planning and being a student, but can be done with enough time. Actually, I think you''re in a better position than we are simply because you have friends and family in Chicago who can be of great assistance -- we haven''t had anyone helping us along until this week when we hired a day-of-coordinator.

If you go this route, make sure you have plenty of time to plan, plan for unexpected trips (and the expense!) back to Chicago to tie up loose ends, don''t expect to make decisions as easily and as quickly as you think and do your research! As with anything, when and where there''s a will there''s a way!!!

Although you don''t want to ruin the engagement, definitely talk to the BF about the wedding location, when you''ll do it since you''re in school and how much planning time you''ll need to pull it all off. Good luck!

 

[honey22]

I planned a DW from another state, but I did have my Mum living there to help with details. I would suggest that you take the vendors recommendations for other vendors KWIM? Like our celebrant suggested MUA, Photogs etc, and if you ask for everyones suggestions, you soon learn who are the top picks in the area. Everyone I spoke to recommended my MUA, so I felt a lot more comfortable with my decision. Good luck!

 

[katamari]

I am in grad school and have seen it all--couples choosing to marry in the bride''s town, the groom''s town, the grad school town, something else entirely, . . . I think you should pick the compromise between what feels right to you and what what works best for your families to ensure that your most important guests can make it. Since you are both from Chicago and plan to return there, I would lean toward having it in Chicago. Judging from my friends who have done long-distance planning, the key tips seem to be doing as much over breaks as you can, doing research online so that you can efficiently make choices and make meetings only with the vendors you would book, and using your friends and family there to do footwork for you as much as possible without exploiting them.

It will be easier to plan the more control you are able to relinquish. I got married on another continent at a place I had never visited. I researched a lot and adopted a whatever we get will be fine mentality and I enjoyed every second of it. Other friends I know worried a lot and spent a lot of time traveling between locations. Wedding planning in any setting takes as much time and effort as you give it.

 

[Callisto]

Thanks for the support guys!

MagsyMay- I feel it will make me more productive about it too. I feel I get the most done when I''m a bit crazed and overloaded so maybe it will be a good thing.

Megumic- we do seem to be in very similar situations. Glad to hear you are doing it though! I''m sure it will turn out wonderfully. BF and I have talked about the wedding location a few times and we both expect it to be in the midwest at least, he''s pretty flexible about the location though.

Honey- good idea, I will definitely be sure to ask vendors for their suggestions.

Katamari- I''m a bit of a control freak so I will do my best to be easy going about it. But in the end I know that getting married to the man of my dreams is far more important than what the cake tastes like or what color the flowers are. Maybe I''ll get that printed on the front of my wedding planning binder so that before I look at any details I have to read that haha. Thanks for the advice!

 

[caribqueen]

I''m on the West side of the U.S. planning a wedding in my home state on the East coast. I have my mom and MOH and other family help there so that has been a huge plus. What I did was figured out how many times I wanted or needed to fly back home over the course of my engagement based on what had to get done. I then went through my checklist and found say a few things due over the course of 2 or 3 months and then packed them into my trips/visits home.

You can do it, but it will mean being maybe a bit more organized. If you were planning something in the same state that you lived, you could virtually do something different every weekend. But you will just need to make a plan and I''m sure it will work out. I also made sure to tell vendors and others we had to deal with that I didn''t live in the current state so that they could possibly be more flexible.