Maybe FB is a bad thing...

[cindygenit]

I posted photos of me and my girls at Oktoberfest, and my mum''s friend actually commented on one of the photos. Her words were.." Cin... why did u get fat???"

 

[cindygenit]

This is not something i want to hear, esp since i am trying to get fit and tone up before my wedding...

 

[bobbin]

That is AWFUL Cindy. I don''t think there is ever a reason to make those kind of comments. What good could they possibly do? The only result they could ever have is to make someone feel bad about themselves and that is an awful thing.

And I don''t believe a word of it. You will look absolutely beautiful on your wedding day (and do now too)!

 

[cindygenit]

Thanks bobbin... I used to be able to block these comments when I was still living at home (my mum''s friends used to be too honest about these things), but now i just think its rude and tactless...WTH...

 

[ozsparkle]

Ohhh Cindy thats a completely nasty thing for someone to say. No one deserves that. I''m so sorry she did that to you. FB should be used with good intentions only. You are going to be a beutiful bride, so dont worry a bit about such a nasty comment. ***Hugs***

 

[noelwr]

can you make a comment on one of her photos?

"Mrs. Jones... when did you get so OLD?"

ok, maybe not. just tell her you don''t appreciate those type of comments.

 

[House Cat]

What is wrong with people??!!

This person is obviously feeling so awful about herself that she feels the need to spread her misery around. Please ignore her!


I''m really sorry that she did this to you!

 

[Bliss]

You know, some women are busybodies and they have NO idea that they have verbal diarrhea. The only way to stop it is to tell the person gently that it hurts your feelings.

I have a friend whose mother is just like this! When I was 13, I had just gotten my first rash of ACNE. Very sensitive time for a young lady, right? Well, I was standing with a group of my friends at CHURCH, and the friend's mom came running up to say hello. First words out of her mouth, "OH MY GOSH! So much acne all over your pretty face! Your forehead is riddled with it!" I gulped down some immediate stinging tears and then I blurted right back, "Why do you say such awful things? It REALLY hurts my feelings!!!" And she, being a warm lady with no ill intentions, apologized and hugged me. It's been years and years since then and she doesn't do it to me anymore. Never did it again. However, she still does it to other people...just not to me. LOL. She learned to change her behavior towards me. So you should tell her that it hurts your feelings because otherwise, she'll think you have a thick skin and like to hear her version of the truth. Some people think they're being HELPFUL when they're actually being HURTFUL. So in this case, you might have to tell her that she's hurting you, not helping you.

 

[Amzizzle]

I totally agree with bliss. I have a grandmother who likes to be "helpful" all the time,but she has learned over the years to lay off me,because I''ve either burst out into tears,or ending up telling her she''s being horrible.I think it would have been a lot better if I would of told her in a more calm manner.

 

[cleokizzy]

gaahhh!!! some people just don''t know when to stop!

i think you can delete comments???

 

[sunnyd]

Just delete the comment. What a stupid woman...

 

[elrohwen]

That''s horrible! My own mom has made comments a few times about me getting chubby or something, and I know that things like that can totally stick with you, even if you were previously comfortable with your shape. ((hugs))

 

[jcarlylew]

Date: 10/26/2009 10:59:05 AM
Author: sunnyd
Just delete the comment. What a stupid woman...

+1 !
what a horrid thing to say. seriously. who does that??

 

[MagsyMay]

Wow that has nothing to do with FB and everything to do with that rude woman''s personality! I cannot believe someone would post something like that! Perhaps you should delete the comment AND delete her as a friend. If she asks why, just tell her politely that she wrote very hurtful comments on your photos and you did not want to subject yourself to more of the same in the future!

You''re doing awesome on your weight loss too! Keep it up and don''t let this woman get you down!

 

[tlh]

Date: 10/26/2009 12:12:53 PM
Author: jcarlylew

Date: 10/26/2009 10:59:05 AM
Author: sunnyd
Just delete the comment. What a stupid woman...

+1 !
what a horrid thing to say. seriously. who does that??

Thritto.

That was a tactless comment. I''m sorry. Don''t let things people say affect your self worth. You have a partner who loves you completely, whether there is a little more or a little less of you - and THAT is what is important. ((HUGS!))

Best wishes on your continued weight loss success!

 

[princessplease]

EW what a nasty b***h.

Gah, that infuriates me cin. I am SO sorry that she said something so mean to you.

 

[Steel]

Date: 10/26/2009 12:56:30 PM
Author: princessplease
EW what a nasty b***h.

Gah, that infuriates me cin. I am SO sorry that she said something so mean to you.

+1

I suppose though, in today''s world, by posting pics or revealing details of your life on a public forum you are ''inviting'' the cheap seats to comment. Another reason I do not have a profile on FB or any of those sites. At the core, many people are just plain meanies.

 

[D&T]

what in the world... Cindy

, I'm so sorry about that comment. Can you delete it though? just a side note, is the friend an Asian older female? I know all too well that some older women asian (well in my family) - tend to be overly brutally honest

and don't know how to use tact. I had an aunt (passed away a few years ago) but she made a comment when I was 14 that has and will always stay with me, not that I wasn't already self conscious at the time, but really hurt my self esteem even now, even if she was honest, she shouldn't have made a direct comment like that to a discovering teen with issues already. I am so sorry she doesn't know the saying "if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say it all rule ehh?"

 

[vc10um]

*Musters up her best Stephanie Tanner...*

How RUDE!

Sorry Cin... (((HUGS!!!)))

 

[joelly]

Cin,

Its soooo typical Indo ladies and its horrible. I''m sorry about it {hugs}. My mom often throw this comments to me. Her comments on how big my behind is and then when I get skinnier, she is not happy as well. Bottom line is you can''t make everyone happy but you can only make yourself happy. I learnt that the hard way.

I know it is tough to get over such cruel unthoughtful comments. IMO, she is just a foolish old lady who got nothing better to do. Maybe her children already marry and she got nothing to do and she has a very loose lips. Her comments just show how stupid she is.

I saw your picture in your wedding gown. You''re not fat at all. You look so radiant and you''re not even wearing a full make up yet. She just envious because you sent her a picture that shows you''re happy and having a blast in your life.

Try not to get so caught up in her foolishness. Stay focus on your goal. You''ll get where you want to be, I promise!!!! Besides, we''ll here to cheer for you!!!

 

[oddoneout]

I just looked up pics of you in your wedding dress. I think you have a great shape. I don''t understand why she would say something like that. I''m of the idea that if you can''t say something nice don''t say anything at all.

 

[lulu66]

Date: 10/26/2009 5:14:31 PM
Author: oddoneout
I just looked up pics of you in your wedding dress. I think you have a great shape. I don''t understand why she would say something like that. I''m of the idea that if you can''t say something nice don''t say anything at all.

exactly what i was thinking! cindy, try not to let it get to you. i just cannot believe the nerve! (((((HUGS)))))

 

[katamari]

That comment was completely out of line; you are no where near "fat".

I understand why people are telling you to just delete the comment, but for me that wouldn''t be enough. She went too far by posting the comment on a public forum. Perhaps deleting the comment is a start, but I would unfriend her in the least and would very likely confront her. Does your mother know? How does she feel about this?

 

[cindygenit]

Thank you lovely ladies for agreeing with me...and being angry for me!

My mum is exactly the same way, she is very critical of my looks and i try to see it " she has a good heart, she just wants what''s best for you". She actually tells me to stop eating sometimes...

This woman is actually quite young, in her late twenties, with a beautiful family, I just think that she''s so used to how women treat each other re:weight that she thinks its completely okay to say that.

Ugh, i have to rise above and just ignore the b*tch. Oops, did I say that? LOL

 

[Luckyeshe]

Another thing beyond deleting her post is to see if you could set your privacy in private. Unless they''re your friend they shouldn''t be able to post any comments on your pictures. If they are your friends, then just delete away. I feel your pain though about the comments. We''re asian too and I get it all the time. I just leave the room and don''t visit for a while. That helps a lot. They lay off the comments if they want to see me sooner than later.

 

[cindygenit]

Date: 10/26/2009 12:05:01 PM
Author: elrohwen
That''s horrible! My own mom has made comments a few times about me getting chubby or something, and I know that things like that can totally stick with you, even if you were previously comfortable with your shape. ((hugs))

El, I was completely comfortable with my shape. And you are right, her comment has stuck and it really hurts me that she said that.

I don''t like my mum''s friends at all. They''re all like that.

Anyway, I''m going to leave the comment there for others to see. I hope she gets the hint since I won''t be replying to the comment or talking to her again.

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 10/26/2009 9:18:08 PM
Author: cindygenit
Thank you lovely ladies for agreeing with me...and being angry for me!

My mum is exactly the same way, she is very critical of my looks and i try to see it ' she has a good heart, she just wants what's best for you'. She actually tells me to stop eating sometimes...

This woman is actually quite young, in her late twenties, with a beautiful family, I just think that she's so used to how women treat each other re:weight that she thinks its completely okay to say that.

Ugh, i have to rise above and just ignore the b*tch. Oops, did I say that? LOL

Good heart AND DISCRETION go a long way and, IMO hand in hand.

Just have your mom ask her friend why she felt it was okay to comment on anything like that publically, or better yet do it yourself. AND to do what I do: Not add of my family (other than my contemporaries like my first cousins who can be counted on to behave) or anyone who can't be reasonable and discrete on my FB account. It's a privelege not a right. It's about boundaries, if your mom's friend doesn't get it you need to reinforce it.

 

[cindygenit]

Thanks for your advice Gypsy.

Welcome back, hon!

 

[Gypsy]

Thank you Cindy, I''m sorely out of practicre posting. Publically was spelled wrong (and in an unintentionally funny way) and I keep having to edit my posts!

 

[cindygenit]

Oh wow, my mum just posted a comment saying I''m more beautiful now than ever

Oh i love and miss her so much!! It has definitely cheered me up a bit.