Looking for honest opinions on a potential wedding dress!!!

[atp223]

I'm torn between this type of dress (ball gown) and fit and flare lace...but I am leaning toward this one! What do you ladies think? I didn't cry or anything like the girls on say yes to the dress...but it's just a dress! That being said, I am sick of trying on dresses and quite happy with this one. It was my sister/friends' favorite also. But they "liked" everything. Criticizing is probably easier anonymously . I want honest opinions! Oh and if we do order this one, we are changing the belt and going with one that looks a little nicer (as per my sister's orders).

ETA it looks kind of yellow in this picture, but it's a very very light ivory IRL.

 

[Amys Bling]

I love it personally- its my style I'm not a lace person though. What's your venue like?

 

[atp223]

Re: Looking for honest opinions on a potential wedding dress

We are going down to finalize in a couple of weeks, but most likely it will be at Atlantis (in the Bahamas). At least part of it will be in a ballroom, but cocktail hour and dinner may be outside. And the ceremony will be at the Greek church in Nassau - not on the beach or anything.

 

[mrscushion]

Re: Looking for honest opinions on a potential wedding dress

Looks great on you - I think go with that one!

 

[missy]

Re: Looking for honest opinions on a potential wedding dress

I love it on you. You look beautiful! Very flattering and elegant.

 

[mrswahs]

Re: Looking for honest opinions on a potential wedding dress

I think it's gorgeous!!! I'd love to see the other you're considering too.

I liked the fit and flare style best on me, but this looks great on you

 

[Amys Bling]

If in the Bahamas I would factor is the heaviness of the dress- could be very hot

 

[mrsjacob]

Re: Looking for honest opinions on a potential wedding dress

I will say that lace, tulle, and chiffon are the most flattering fabrics in photos. Satin tends to always look wrinkly, even when it's been steamed.

 

[slg47]

Re: Looking for honest opinions on a potential wedding dress

I think it looks great on you but the most important thing is...how do you /feel/ in the dress?

 

[AprilBaby]

Re: Looking for honest opinions on a potential wedding dress

It looks stunning on you!

 

[atp223]

Re: Looking for honest opinions on a potential wedding dress

Amy - I *thought* I typed out and posted a response to your weather comment during lunch, but apparently I did not successfully post it from my phone. It was actually not that heavy - just the one layer of silk and then the poofy stuff underneath...and the weather in early March in the Bahamas is actually pretty good. It's usually pretty windy during the day and can be downright chilly at night. So I THINK that it will be ok. But my great uncle owns a bridal store in Nassau, and we're going next week (which is the exact weekend we are getting married next year), so maybe I will try on some wedding dresses down there and see if he will let me walk around outside his shop in them to test out how hot it would be...

Mrs jacob - that is good to know about the fabrics! I did not know that. We did learn during the course of trying on the dresses that some looked amazing in person and awful on the camera. So that was depressing to learn...but I actually thought this one "popped" better in the photos than the lace ones. I will post my favorite lace one, though, to see what you/people think!

slg - my problem is that I loved almost all of them...I am usually quite decisive and impulsive, even, but there are a few that I REALLY liked, so that is making it hard to 100% commit to one! I really did love this one though, and feel like a princess in it!

Thank you to everyone for the comments! The weather and wrinkliness were things I had not given too much thought to yet!

 

[atp223]

Re: Looking for honest opinions on a potential wedding dress

I absolutely love this one (it might have been my favorite, actually, of all of them), but there are a few things to note:
(1) It is 4000+ versus the other one being only 2100
(2) I am standing on one of those boxes, so if I were really on the ground I would look a lot "curvier" than I do here. Hips like mine at over 6 feet are a lot more flattering than hips like mine at 5'3"
(3) whenever I eat/drink alcohol my stomach totally expands, and I'm not sure I want to spend the weeks before my wedding starving myself and the whole evening feeling self conscious that I look fat...

But if I DID do a dress like this one (or this one itself), I would do a different type of belt...

So which do you all prefer?? Thanks again for all the help!

ETA don't mind my face - my sister was snapping away with her phone and I never knew when she was taking a pic and when she was just sending it to our mom...

 

[Enerchi]

Re: Looking for honest opinions on a potential wedding dress

THIS ONE!!! ^^^^^^

THis looks amazing on you!! Very flattering and much more appropriate for a Bahama wedding! PERFECTION!! You look stunning in it!!

 

[Amys Bling]

You look stunning in either- I think the second one will look and feel better for your Bahamas wedding. Honestly- go with your gut- you must prefer one

 

[akroller]

Re: Looking for honest opinions on a potential wedding dress

WOW! The lace one gets my vote by far!! I know you are looking for anonymous feedback, and I have to say that I think the first one, with the pick-ups, is not my fav. I also don't see it for a destination wedding. That look to me is a bit fad-ish, and not my personal favorite dress 'fad' overall, and I don't think it is as flattering on most people as other cuts could be, and looks a lot like a bunch of fabric sticthed in awkward places.. (not yours in particular, but the general look.) The Lace is Gorgeous- timeless.. but with a modern twist. You obviously have a fab figure, as lace isn't the easiest look to pull off, and you look stuuuning! I would say to keep on at it, and try not to settle. Timing yourself for just a few hrs a week thinking about/trying on dresses may help. Someone else i think mentioned chiffon and 'flowy'', and that too would look great on you imo (as would most things, hence your prob!!)

Anyway, hope you find your dream dress! I would love to see any more contenders!

Alli esq.

 

[slg47]

Re: Looking for honest opinions on a potential wedding dress

I like the 2nd one better on you. Perhaps you can try on others in that shape? it is very flattering on you Or as another poster suggested I think a flowy chiffon dress would be perfect for a beach wedding...but ultimately it is what you want to wear!

ps you do not have big hips

 

[OUpearlgirl]

Re: Looking for honest opinions on a potential wedding dress

I LOVE the lace one! It looks fantastic on your figure-- you look seriously amazing.

 

[atp223]

Re: Looking for honest opinions on a potential wedding dress

Thanks for the feedback, ladies! Anonymous feedback is way better than friend feedback (though my friends are also brutally honest - just very opinionated ). The entourage of friends (including my sister) all liked the first one better, but I really do love both styles. To whoever said I had a good figure, thank you, but don't forget I am standing on a box that makes me a foot taller . Alli and slg are probably right - I should prob try on more lace ones like that (I tried on a ton of ball gown style ones already, but just two lace ones). I have to figure out the designer of the second and shop around for a lower price or similar style. My mom and future MIL are coming at the end of march for the final trying on session/purchase, and we will know by then where the reception is (choosing between Atlantis and a mansion on a 3 acre beachfront property my uncle's friend offered us for free), so whether the reception is outdoor or indoor may affect the dress too.

I had to google chiffon (I've HEARD of it but I don't really buy formal wear too often and can't exactly picture it in my head)...on Wikipedia it says it frays easily. I tried on another dress that was adorable but was definitely fraying (the sales lady noted it had been destroyed but assured me when ordered new that would not happen from one wearing). I will post a pic of that one tonight and maybe you guys can tell me if that was chiffon...

Anyway thank you all for the comments - keep them coming...especially if you can think of more cons for either dress! Cons are good! I feel like I'm all "ooh pretty dress I choose you" for every dress I try on...need more cons!! thanks again!

 

[Clairitek]

Re: Looking for honest opinions on a potential wedding dress

Your figure looks amazing in both styles but WOW to that fit n flare! I don't normally like gowns with pick-ups in the skirt but that first style is fairly relaxed in the pick-up department and they're perfectly placed. I am a total sucker for a sweetheart neckline on a fitted bodice like that. That is a hard choice but if you were to force a choice out of me today, it would be a fit n flare style.

I had a silk organza fit n flare gown with an Alencon lace overlay and I freaking LOVED the way it photographed. Really soft and romantic with tons of personality and movement. Looks really dynamic in photos. It's the Marisa 737 if you want to give it a go.

 

[Porridge]

Re: Looking for honest opinions on a potential wedding dress

The second one and WOW am I jealous of your gorgeous figure!

 

[dragonfly411]

Re: Looking for honest opinions on a potential wedding dress

The Lace dress is TO DIE FOR on you! It captures your shape so well and looks so elegant on you!

 

[monarch64]

Re: Looking for honest opinions on a potential wedding dress

You seem more comfortable in the first. I love the way both look on you, but I totally understand the issue of wearing something very form fitting and worrying about bloating due to eating/drinking. So...are you a comfort girl or are you a "I want to look AMAZING at any cost" girl? My advice would be to not let the dress control your day. If #1 feels better and you know you'll be more comfortable and happy in that style, then by all means, go for that. If you wear something form fitting I think there's a tendency to worry more about your eating and your appearance rather than focusing on what is actually happening that day.

 

[geisha_gyrl]

Re: Looking for honest opinions on a potential wedding dress

I vote for the second dress. I think it hugs you in all the right places. You have a nice figure.

I like the lacey vintage look and I think it fits your venue.

 

[mrscushion]

Re: Looking for honest opinions on a potential wedding dress

You seem more comfortable in the first. I love the way both look on you, but I totally understand the issue of wearing something very form fitting and worrying about bloating due to eating/drinking. So...are you a comfort girl or are you a "I want to look AMAZING at any cost" girl? My advice would be to not let the dress control your day. If #1 feels better and you know you'll be more comfortable and happy in that style, then by all means, go for that. If you wear something form fitting I think there's a tendency to worry more about your eating and your appearance rather than focusing on what is actually happening that day.

Ditto to all of this.

 

[atp223]

Re: Looking for honest opinions on a potential wedding dress

You ladies all raise good points...thanks to all who said the lace dress looked good on me (I found out it is Alvina Valenta).  You all are very sweet . And I DO think I would be more comfortable in the ball gown one (by Martina Liana - since posting I have made efforts to figure out who makes these dresses), and I also think that is important...BUT...

I think that I posted the Martina Liana ball gown to make myself like it.  That is why I didn't originally post both pics asking for opinions on both.  I wanted people to say if they liked (or hated) the Martina Liana ball gown dress without seeing the Alvina Valenta lace one.  I think I am trying to talk myself into the ball gown since all of my friends loved it, and it is "only" 2,000 (I can't believe I am saying that about a dress - I have bought and returned several Herve Leger dresses that were under 1,000 because I couldn't stomach a dress being that much).  I loved coming in under budget, with room for a second little white dress and fancy shoes.  And I DO really like it...but I can't stop thinking about the lace Alvina Valenta!

I keep looking at pictures of myself in it (the lace Alvina Valenta) - I can't stop!  It sounds so narcissistic, which I promise I am not, but I just can't stop thinking about it.  I AM concerned about the 4,000 price tag, and about worrying about looking bloated in the pictures post-dinner...those are definite concerns.  (And I really would do a different belt, thinner and hitting a little lower, closer to my natural waist line, and not with flowers.)

But then I read some girl's story on the wedding bee boards that I found by accident when googling a Romona Keveza dress similar to the Alvina Valenta dress I am obsessed with (I am trying to find cheaper lace options but it's not working).  Her story sounds almost exactly like mine - she found a dress she liked and her friends/fam LOVED, and bought it, early on in the searching process.  It was even a poofier ball gown style!  And then she started to regret it, and wanted a more form fitting lace one, and ended up being a "two dress bride" - which I didn't realize was a thing. 

But everything she said just reminded me of this situation!  I definitely LIKE the poofy one, and think I could be happy in it.  And I love that it is more princessy.  But on the other hand, I always WANTED to have to be mildly anorexic before my wedding (I have to add that after we bought the ring, thanks to the ladies in waiting weight loss thread, I found out about this app called Lose It and I've lost almost 10 lbs since the fall!  And I am looking forward to continuing to lose more in a healthy, slow fashion).  And as my cousin said (she is a fan of the lace one), I can just double layer spanx, too, because "breathing on your wedding day is overrated."

And I was thinking of having a second dress to really dance in, anyway, because Greek dancing gets a little...cardiovascular...so I wanted to have one on hand to switch into for the late-night hours, anyway.  I was thinking if I went the lace route I could have the short one close by to switch into if I started to feel bloated - I could have my sister or some of the bridesmaids on "food baby" lookout. This would enable me to wear the lace one during the ceremony and for all the pictures, when I will most likely feel perfectly thin, and then change after dinner/dessert. Does that sound like an acceptable solution for the form fitted/comfort aspects?

Thank you all so much for helping me get to this point...at least I am not lying to myself!  That being said...most of you seem to prefer the lace dress (as long as I am comfortable in it)...but for those of you who have already gotten married - is it worth spending DOUBLE to be happy with your dress??  If I really do prefer the lace one, and can't find one I like as much, is it worth the extra 2,000 (in addition to alterations, a little white dress, and the fancy shoes, which I want either way) to be happy??

Thanks again for all of your help, advice, and opinions!

Alexa

 

[sillyberry]

Re: Looking for honest opinions on a potential wedding dress

I hadn't responded (stupid work), but having read your last post, I really do want to jump in:

Please please please be comfortable on your wedding day. Be happy in the days leading up to your wedding day. Please do not make yourself miserable trying to look like an image in your head of perfection. Your cousin is DEAD WRONG - breathing on your wedding day is IN NO WAY overrated. You'll probably be taking more than a few very deep breaths to try and deal with the emotion of the day. You'll discover that if you're physically uncomfortable, or unhappily starving, it will show in pictures. Please don't put yourself in that position.

That said -- I agree that the first ballgown isn't my favorite. I don't think "Bahamas wedding" when I see it. I do love lace, though, and think the second dress is beautiful on you (might want to see it not on the box, though, says a fellow shorty).

Honestly, I don't think you've found the dress you want. Keep trying on dresses. Try lace in different styles. Pick one that hits both style and a reasonable level of comfort. Don't let your friends tell you what dress to buy (they're not looking at your pictures for the rest of your life!).

Watters has a list of lace dresses (not saying to buy from them, but it'll give you an idea of what is out there): Lace And Embellishments

 

[slg47]

Re: Looking for honest opinions on a potential wedding dress

I agree-you want to be comfortable. (this is why I picked 2 1/2 inch heels!)

I just clicked on sillyberry's link and i love this dress...
http://watters.com/Product/WattersBrides/Features:LaceAndEmbellishments/1062B/

I would definitely try more on...perhaps you can find something a bit lighter and more fitted than the first one but something that you still feel comfortable in?

 

[atp223]

Re: Looking for honest opinions on a potential wedding dress

Sillyberry and slg - thanks for posting!! (1) I love that dress from Watters and will def try on, and (2) I appreciate all insight! None of my good friends are married yet, so I can't really get practical advice from them about comfort etc. I mean, I can't promise I won't still end up with that lace one, but I will certainly keep shopping around. I don't want to have any regrets with respect to look or to comfort. Also I don't want my mom to murder me for spending too much on a dress. All valid and important considerations...

Thanks again!

 

[OUpearlgirl]

Re: Looking for honest opinions on a potential wedding dress

Hi! I hope I don't come off all "know-it-all" but I'm a manager at a bridal salon and have been doing it for 3 1/2 years. What I think you need is a dress that hugs your hips, but doesn't come down AS far as the Alvina Valenta. A dropped waist absolutely flatters your figure, but since you are petite, I think a full-on mermaid might make you look shorter.

Dresses I might suggest are

Pronovias "Balear"
Enozani "Fifi"
Enzoani "Diana"
Watters "Pasadena"

Plenty more, but I think that this fit might work better if you're concerned about height. I think you look gorgeous regardless!

 

[monarch64]

Re: Looking for honest opinions on a potential wedding dress

You ladies all raise good points...thanks to all who said the lace dress looked good on me (I found out it is Alvina Valenta).  You all are very sweet . And I DO think I would be more comfortable in the ball gown one (by Martina Liana - since posting I have made efforts to figure out who makes these dresses), and I also think that is important...BUT...

I think that I posted the Martina Liana ball gown to make myself like it.  That is why I didn't originally post both pics asking for opinions on both.  I wanted people to say if they liked (or hated) the Martina Liana ball gown dress without seeing the Alvina Valenta lace one.  I think I am trying to talk myself into the ball gown since all of my friends loved it, and it is "only" 2,000 (I can't believe I am saying that about a dress - I have bought and returned several Herve Leger dresses that were under 1,000 because I couldn't stomach a dress being that much).  I loved coming in under budget, with room for a second little white dress and fancy shoes.  And I DO really like it...but I can't stop thinking about the lace Alvina Valenta!

I keep looking at pictures of myself in it (the lace Alvina Valenta) - I can't stop!  It sounds so narcissistic, which I promise I am not, but I just can't stop thinking about it.  I AM concerned about the 4,000 price tag, and about worrying about looking bloated in the pictures post-dinner...those are definite concerns.  (And I really would do a different belt, thinner and hitting a little lower, closer to my natural waist line, and not with flowers.)

But then I read some girl's story on the wedding bee boards that I found by accident when googling a Romona Keveza dress similar to the Alvina Valenta dress I am obsessed with (I am trying to find cheaper lace options but it's not working).  Her story sounds almost exactly like mine - she found a dress she liked and her friends/fam LOVED, and bought it, early on in the searching process.  It was even a poofier ball gown style!  And then she started to regret it, and wanted a more form fitting lace one, and ended up being a "two dress bride" - which I didn't realize was a thing. 

But everything she said just reminded me of this situation!  I definitely LIKE the poofy one, and think I could be happy in it.  And I love that it is more princessy.  But on the other hand, I always WANTED to have to be mildly anorexic before my wedding (I have to add that after we bought the ring, thanks to the ladies in waiting weight loss thread, I found out about this app called Lose It and I've lost almost 10 lbs since the fall!  And I am looking forward to continuing to lose more in a healthy, slow fashion).  And as my cousin said (she is a fan of the lace one), I can just double layer spanx, too, because "breathing on your wedding day is overrated."

And I was thinking of having a second dress to really dance in, anyway, because Greek dancing gets a little...cardiovascular...so I wanted to have one on hand to switch into for the late-night hours, anyway.  I was thinking if I went the lace route I could have the short one close by to switch into if I started to feel bloated - I could have my sister or some of the bridesmaids on "food baby" lookout. This would enable me to wear the lace one during the ceremony and for all the pictures, when I will most likely feel perfectly thin, and then change after dinner/dessert. Does that sound like an acceptable solution for the form fitted/comfort aspects?

Thank you all so much for helping me get to this point...at least I am not lying to myself!  That being said...most of you seem to prefer the lace dress (as long as I am comfortable in it)...but for those of you who have already gotten married - is it worth spending DOUBLE to be happy with your dress??  If I really do prefer the lace one, and can't find one I like as much, is it worth the extra 2,000 (in addition to alterations, a little white dress, and the fancy shoes, which I want either way) to be happy??

Thanks again for all of your help, advice, and opinions!

Alexa

Um, honestly you sound like you already have an eating disorder. And if you are joking, I'm sorry but ED's are nothing to make light of. You already look quite thin, so I'm not sure why you are planning to lose more weight and still worried about the bloat factor unless you actually have a problem. You might want to focus on that before you get married rather than this dress issue.