just engaged & have no clue!!!!

[jenny]

Hey Everyone!
I just got engaged and we are going over the invite list we have about 200 people to invite but only have a budget for 150 my mother insist that everyone at least deserves an invitation,but my fiancee seems to think that we have to have the list down before we book the place for 150 how in the world do you eliminate people before invites?i''m so confused!!i know that at least 40 people on my side won''t come simply because they can''t afford to fly out but is it possible to just send them out and chance the fact that they might all say yes? please someone help me!!

 

[innerkitten]

why don't you make the reception the part where all the guests show up and not the wedding, or would that not change anything? Could you change things around so that they are less formal, or is that not something your willing to do? A friend of mine had a really nice evening recepption that was lots of small dishes drinks of course and desserts , but no sit down meal. Instead everyone mingled, I thought it was nice and I'm sure it cost less. Then maybe you could have everyone there.

 

[jenny]

hey the reception mingling party sounds great except the place we want the wedding has everything included like the ceremony will take place there as well as the reception so i couldnt really do that i don't think! and all meals and stuff are included in the price!

 

[redjenn]

The statistics show that about %25-30 will not be able to come if you send out 200 invites. You can also reduce your budget elsewhere if you need to. Its like overbooking a plane flight.....

Mail out all of the invites for the "polite" factor and then don't worry. Also get wedding planner software...I have wedding companion..its great.

J

 

[jenny]

thank you so much i needed those statistics so i could show my fiance, he's so paranoid that worst case scenario they are all gonna say yes!!

 

[redjenn]

No worries. Also you can think about things like this:

Do I really know this person?
Are they important to me and my life?

Why do I invite them?

I have already cut out about 10 people by doing this.

Also - if money is a big concern you can do a potluck wedding. It is becoming more common and actually was how things were done for years (and still is in many countries). We are doing this because we went to one this summer and it was amazing. Everyone made incredible things. Then all you have to cater is appetizers and things like chafing dishes, plates, glassware etc.

Jen

 

[jenny]

yeah but alot of it is,"if i invite these cousins then i have to invite those cousins" vice versa! also my problem is just that its all family that lives far but we are still very close w/ each other!

 

[redjenn]

True - but cousins are also not on the A list unless they were a significant part of your life at some point. You don't HAVE to invite anyone. Really - if they are far away most will probably not come due to cost and due to the fact that they don't really know you. Know what I mean? You are also NOT obligated to invite someone because they invited you to their wedding...just so you know.

Is your fiance concerned about etiquitte (sp) or money?

Jen

 

[jenny]

I know but believe it or not i'm close w/most of my cousins! and my fiance is more worried about money! The whole budget thing is really freaking him out!

 

[aljdewey]

----------------
On 1/13/2004 11:13:20 AM jenny wrote:





Hey Everyone!
I just got engaged and we are going over the invite list we have about 200 people to invite but only have a budget for 150 my mother insist that everyone at least deserves an invitation,----------------

Everyone at least deserves invites? Gee, your mom would have a serious issue with me. I don't feel ANYONE is *entitled* to anything.

Jennifer, I'd suggest this: tell your mother that you'd be delighted to send everyone the invitations she thinks they deserve IF she first commits to foot the bill beyond the 150th guest in the event they accept your "courtesy" invitation.