Invite Wording Help please

[labbielove]

Ok, so I guess it''s my turn for invite wording help. Apologies if this is covered elsewhere.

Honest critique on this wording please- in terms of background
1) both of my parents are deceased, and fi & i are paying for 90% of the wedding, with smaller contributions from his parents and my sibs. I really want to include our families on the invite

2) our church is within a living museum, so i added that as the second address line.
3)reception at same venue, but not immediately after

Here are my questions:

1) I assume cocktail hour is considered part of the reception, correct(?)- so i put reception following at 4:30pm
The room will be open for folks at 3:30 with water/tea and light snacks but we will note that in the program, not the invite- or should i just do a separate reception card? didn''t think it was necessary, but open to input
2) Should the twenty second of Sept be hypenated? all samples had single digit dates
3) the reception time spelled out looks weird but i don''t think it should differ from main invite

thanks so much, here it is:

(will be centered)
Together with their families
Labbie, middle, last
and
Labbie''s FI, middle, last
request the honour of your presence
at their marriage
on Saturday, the twenty second of September
Two thousand and seven
at two o''clock in the afternoon
Church Name
Museum Name
City, State

(off to the bottom left)
Reception following at four thirty in the afternoon
Meeting House
Museum Name

 

[jas]

Hi Labbie --

Looks pretty good at first glance. If the room is going to be open for cocktails before 4:30 do you maybe want to say "Reception to follow" -- or "cocktails and reception to follow" then people will go site #2 right away?

But, to be honest, I think it is okay either way. As long as people don''t think there is a "down time" and head over when you want them to, it should be ok.

How long a trek is it between sites?

 

[cara]

hmm... so I think that "reception following" is only for receptions immediately following or within reasonable driving time between the ceremony and reception venue. OK I looked it up at Cranes. Use just "Reception" and the second line has the time for a time difference of two hours or more..

-I don''t think you need "in the afternoon" on either time line

-You should use "half after four o''clock" or "half past four o''clock" for the reception time to keep the formal format consistent with the top part

-The program is a fine place to indicate water and snacks will be at the reception hall at 3:30 - definitely not the invite.

 

[labbielove]

Jas, thanks- actually there is a down time, about 1.5 hours until the "official" cocktail hour starts. Folks can either go back to the b&b for a tad, or hopefully they will venture around the village- there are lots of activities/exhibits/old fashioned baseball game going on/shops,etc. The reception site is a short stroll from the church

Cara- agreed, i will take afternoon off, something about it just didn''t look right, and i''ll change to half past four o''clock

I also think I may move the "together with their families" to after our names, can''t decide

 

[Pandora II]

I ditto the removal of "in the afternoon" and changing to "reception to follow..."

I quite like the together with their families coming first as I think it will balance the look on the page a bit better when it is all laid out. Starting with names could make it seem a bit top heavy as they are normally in a larger font. But you probably need to try it out to see...

 

[VRBeauty]

Hyphenate "twenty-second" :

http://www.mygatsby.com/wordwiz_fields_fast.jsp?productBeingCustomized=0&verseId=69&Continue.x=45&Continue.y=5