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I don''t even get mad anymore, now I just laugh.

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Nov2109

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Oct 13, 2008
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297
This couldnt be better timing. I just made a post about the BM gifts and how excited I am to give them to my BMs, even though they have not been very good to me over the last year.

To say the least I have had some pretty interesting things go on with my bridesmaids. Drama with the MOH and "co-MOH" has been the biggest problem. The one BM besides FI''s sisters that has not given me a single problem has just blown me away. I can''t even believe I just had this conversation. You will get a kick out of this one.

The BM just called me (I''m at work mind you) to discuss my batchlorette party (that will probably be in May,its still pretty early to even decided on a date) my first issue is this couldnt wait until 5pm when I get out of work? BM is a bartender and while she is still in school that is her only source of income. Now that may sound important, however, she lives at home, her parents pay for her car, her car insurance, college, her medical expenses and her cell phone. Her only expense is Gas for her car and whatever she feels like buying. So its not like she has to worry about paying for anything.

She actually just asked me if we could do a spa day, or something on a Sunday night so she doesnt have to take off of work, one night. She wants me to actually plan my bachlorette party around her work schedule. Not even considering myself or the other BMs might want to do or the fact the 95% of the girls who will be at the party have jobs to go to on monday morning, or the fact that maybe I want to go out when other people are out? The preliminary discussions that took place were about dinner and drinks most likely in NYC.

I''m just floored that she is making a big deal about having to take off 3 nights in one year for her "best friends" wedding. When her boyfriends sister got married, she had no problem with taking time off, from the same bar.

I actually can''t stop laughing. I can barely concentrate on anything at work because I cant even imagine what could be next from these girls. Maybe they will want to marry FI, have the first dance, who knows.
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grace10209

Rough_Rock
Joined
Dec 16, 2009
Messages
83
Sry to hear this.......................but I learned during wedding planning that people basically suck - no matter who they are.
My own sister, announced at my final fitting, where she and my other bridesmaids were all WEARING these gowns ( I was in mine too).
She announced " I F***ing hate weddings" - infront of the seamstress and other customers in the bridal shop.
The next day she decided she did not want to be in the wedding, one week later she decided she did not want to come at all.

We have not spoken since. She is 22 and I am 33.
 

MagsyMay

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 7, 2009
Messages
861
Oye oye oye! A bachelorette party on a SUNDAY night?? So a BM who is a bartender doesn''t have to take a Saturday off?? Wow! Like the other however many BMs won''t likely have to work on Monday morning like you said??? How incredibly selfish! I''m sorry she''s laid this on you, especially this early! Glad you are able to laugh it off for the time being, because surely it won''t be the last ridiculous thing you have to deal with!
 

shertz1981

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Aug 3, 2009
Messages
478
Wow, selfish!

Granted, if SHE plans it, there''s nothing you can do to stop it from being on her sched. But since she wants YOU to plan it ... plan it for Saturday, LOL
 

fleur-de-lis

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Apr 25, 2007
Messages
1,343
Eh, based on what you''ve written it sounds like she might just be putting out feelers. Perhaps she did some mental calculations and realized that, for instance, a $300 evening out + loss of $200 earnings/tips = HUGE, painful expense for someone who depends on bartending for their income.

Just say you understand, but a traditional Saturday night bachelorette is important to you and Sunday wouldn''t work. If it was indeed just a "feeler" the problem goes away and the friendship remains both intact and drama-free. Win-win.
 

Nov2109

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Oct 13, 2008
Messages
297
Well, things got more interesting last night. I called FSIL who is also a BM, whom I am very close with to tell her a day time/Sunday bachlorette party will be suggested at some point. Her response was: WHAT? WHO DOES THAT FOR A BACHLORETTE PARTY? UNLESS OF COURSE THAT''S WHAT THE BRIDE WANTS! She was under the impression that we were going to NYC for dinner and drinks, that''s the last she heard from the MOH...and MOH is just trying to figure out a date. She has honestly been my sanity through this process, I am so thankful for her.

Things with the MOH have been improving. We''ve had some talks, and I told her I am concerned about our friendship falling apart etc and I don''t want that to happen bc of this wedding. She apologized for being so distant and we talked about things... I also let her know about the bachlorette party, and she is now fuming, because she is already in the works of planning the bachlorette party, and had already told the BMs about it. Everyone, including my friends not in the BP want to do dinner and drinks in the city and all seem very excited about it.

Two of the BMs and myself have been friends since pre-school, the three of us have always been very close, and tend to always back one another up. BM who doesn''t want to take off of work called the other BM and was complaining about having to take time off because of my wedding and was bad mouthing me because I''m making "this whole thing about me" I''m not sure what to make of that statement, but I''m ignoring it. I have always been the easy going friend, and they must be used to me just saying ah whatever. Who knows. Now I have the other BM telling me I am being selfish and I should want to accomodate BM.

grace10209 weddings really do bring out the worst in people. Its going to be very hard for me to not remember what these girls have done throughout the process. I don''t expect anything from these girls other than problems at this point! I am not going to let them ruin our day, and our families day.

MagsyMay yep, a sunday night, when the bride has work on Monday morning and lives 2 hours away from everyone, hah! But remember I am the selfish one
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shertz1981 Luckily, she isnt planning it, nor is she paying for it! She hasnt helped with anything, none of them have actually, other than FSILs and my mom.

fleur-de-lis She was already told by the MOH what the plans were...and is trying to change them for no one but herself. I know her money situation very well, She also has known about the wedding for over a year! I told her nicely that I wanted to go out and I was pretty sure the other BMs and friends did too. Now she is bad mouthing me...


Thanks for letting me vent!
 

Pushin40

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Apr 11, 2008
Messages
617
Date: 1/7/2010 4:31:31 PM
Author: Nov2109
Well, things got more interesting last night. I called FSIL who is also a BM, whom I am very close with to tell her a day time/Sunday bachlorette party will be suggested at some point. Her response was: WHAT? WHO DOES THAT FOR A BACHLORETTE PARTY? UNLESS OF COURSE THAT''S WHAT THE BRIDE WANTS! She was under the impression that we were going to NYC for dinner and drinks, that''s the last she heard from the MOH...and MOH is just trying to figure out a date. She has honestly been my sanity through this process, I am so thankful for her.

Things with the MOH have been improving. We''ve had some talks, and I told her I am concerned about our friendship falling apart etc and I don''t want that to happen bc of this wedding. She apologized for being so distant and we talked about things... I also let her know about the bachlorette party, and she is now fuming, because she is already in the works of planning the bachlorette party, and had already told the BMs about it. Everyone, including my friends not in the BP want to do dinner and drinks in the city and all seem very excited about it.

Two of the BMs and myself have been friends since pre-school, the three of us have always been very close, and tend to always back one another up. BM who doesn''t want to take off of work called the other BM and was complaining about having to take time off because of my wedding and was bad mouthing me because I''m making ''this whole thing about me'' I''m not sure what to make of that statement, but I''m ignoring it. I have always been the easy going friend, and they must be used to me just saying ah whatever. Who knows. Now I have the other BM telling me I am being selfish and I should want to accomodate BM.

grace10209 weddings really do bring out the worst in people. Its going to be very hard for me to not remember what these girls have done throughout the process. I don''t expect anything from these girls other than problems at this point! I am not going to let them ruin our day, and our families day.

MagsyMay yep, a sunday night, when the bride has work on Monday morning and lives 2 hours away from everyone, hah! But remember I am the selfish one
20.gif


shertz1981 Luckily, she isnt planning it, nor is she paying for it! She hasnt helped with anything, none of them have actually, other than FSILs and my mom.

fleur-de-lis She was already told by the MOH what the plans were...and is trying to change them for no one but herself. I know her money situation very well, She also has known about the wedding for over a year! I told her nicely that I wanted to go out and I was pretty sure the other BMs and friends did too. Now she is bad mouthing me...


Thanks for letting me vent!
Um....hey....IT IS ALL ABOUT YOU for crying out loud!!! Jeeze!
And what spa would even be open on a Sunday????
I think it''s really the MOH and Co-MOH''s job to organize the bachelorette party and make decisions, so i guess her vote will jsut be ingmored (as it should be!) Hmph - sorry BM!

Honestly it makes you wonder soemtimes why BMs even agree to be BM''s!

Glad you can laugh about it!!! Vent away!
 
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