HELP! is it ok for one long BM dress among short dresses?

[pannini]

hi everyone!

i have 5 bridesmaids, and i told them to all wear a dress of their choice so long as it is in a shade of gray, cocktail formal, and they feel pretty/comfortable in.

one of them broached the subject of her wanting to wear a long dress. i originally thought, this might make the ensemble of BMs look off by having one wear a long dress, and others wearing a short dress. what are your thoughts? i prematurely said, "wear what you want! go for the long dress, but please coordinate with the others so you don't stick out as the long dress BM."

i do want her to feel comfortable. she's forever had issues with her legs looking too large, and she knows what makes her feel pretty. i respect that and want to honor that. the others want to wear short dresses because they like that look for themselves.

help! will it look off? am i freaking out too much over this detail?

will people really notice?

 

[pannini]

Re: HELP! is it ok for one long BM dress among short dresse

gawd, i hope i didn't piss her off. i did some thinking and followed up to my email to her, and said, "would it be alright if we tried to have everyone wear short to medium length dresses? are you ok with a medium length?"

since then, no response.

this is so hard.

 

[sillyberry]

Re: HELP! is it ok for one long BM dress among short dresse

So, I've tried really hard to be undemanding, yet...I would probably be kind of unhappy with one bridesmaid in a long dress and four in short dresses. It doesn't help that you were originally like "go for it!", but it sounds like you were on the spot.

Ultimately, I don't think it is a big deal and no one is going to be clutching their chest in horror at the different lengths. But I don't think you're being unreasonable, either. When the bride doesn't pick the exact dress itself, it seems the guidelines tend to include color and length.

How long has she been radio silent? Is this minutes or hours or days? Considering when you wrote your first post, and then your second, I would give it a little bit of time before worrying that you're in the doghouse with her.

 

[pannini]

Re: HELP! is it ok for one long BM dress among short dresse

thanks sillyberry.
it's been about a few hours of silence...

just paranoid because she was emailing back and forth with me every 15-30 minutes until i spoke up for myself.

i'll hold on tight!

 

[sonnyjane]

Re: HELP! is it ok for one long BM dress among short dresse

Hmmm, I'm kind of in the opposite camp - I feel that it's not really a big deal if there is one longer dress, considering she has issues with showing her legs. If it was one specific dress and she requested a modification, that would be one thing, but you did say they could pick a dress of their choice so long as it was the right color and appropriate. If you wanted a coordinated look, I would say you should have picked one dress. If you're asking them to buy their dresses and want them to have a choice in styles, I think your friend should be free to choose a longer dress. Would you care equally if everyone had strapless dresses but one needed straps? I just don't see it as a big deal, especially since your guidelines were that it be something "they feel pretty/comfortable in".

 

[amc80]

Re: HELP! is it ok for one long BM dress among short dresse

hi everyone!

i have 5 bridesmaids, and i told them to all wear a dress of their choice so long as it is in a shade of gray, cocktail formal, and they feel pretty/comfortable in.

If a bride told me this, I wouldn't take it as an invitation to get whatever I wanted. I would think those would be general guidelines that would still need the bride's approval. Also, "cocktail formal" makes me think short dress, not long dress.

I think you're okay telling her you'd prefer a shorter dress. If she really puts up a fight, well, then you'll have to decide if the fight is worth it.

 

[Haven]

Re: HELP! is it ok for one long BM dress among short dresse

I don't think anyone will bat an eye at it, so you need to decide if YOU have a problem with it or not.

If it were me, I'd tell her to wear the long dress because I'd care more about her comfort. But then again, I find a group of grown women wearing all the same dresses to be a bit strange, anyway, so I'm not a great measure for these things.

 

[sillyberry]

Re: HELP! is it ok for one long BM dress among short dresse

Haven! Hanging out in BWW!

::faints with happiness::

You must be bored.

 

[RobertaB]

Re: HELP! is it ok for one long BM dress among short dresse

I think it's totally ok for her to wear a long dress. No problem. Just have her stand on the far end for the pictures. That will minimize the sense that her hemline is different from the other girls. IOW, if you and groom are in the middle, then you have your bridesmaids all standing on your side, your maid of honor is next to you and next to her is one bridesmaid, and next to her another, and so on. Long dress bridesmaid should be at the very end of the line.

 

[slg47]

Re: HELP! is it ok for one long BM dress among short dresse

I think it would look fine, especially if the other girls aren't all wearing the same exact dress

 

[mrscushion]

Re: HELP! is it ok for one long BM dress among short dresse

I wouldn't have a problem with the long dress, particularly if none of the dresses are the exact same one.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Re: HELP! is it ok for one long BM dress among short dresse

I'm sure you really don't want a mom's opinion , but just having had a wedding in our family, I will tell you that I would not like the dresses being different lengths. All short or all long is my preference.

 

[Haven]

Re: HELP! is it ok for one long BM dress among short dresse

Haven! Hanging out in BWW!
::faints with happiness::
You must be bored.

Haha! I lurk all the time but I don't want to stick my nose into too many threads. I often want to say "AH! I LOVE THIS!" or "You look amazing" but I hold back because I'm not a bride myself anymore.
I just have a lot of opinions about bridesmaid dresses and I couldn't hold my tongue when I saw a thread asking for input!

 

[sillyberry]

Re: HELP! is it ok for one long BM dress among short dresse

Haven! Hanging out in BWW!
::faints with happiness::
You must be bored.

Haha! I lurk all the time but I don't want to stick my nose into too many threads. I often want to say "AH! I LOVE THIS!" or "You look amazing" but I hold back because I'm not a bride myself anymore.
I just have a lot of opinions about bridesmaid dresses and I couldn't hold my tongue when I saw a thread asking for input!

I speak only for myself, but please stick your nose in as many threads as you want! I'm always sad when brides "graduate" and then never hang out here anymore. We're all flying blind...the post-brides know where it's at!

 

[ts44]

Re: HELP! is it ok for one long BM dress among short dresse

I had not only one bridesmaid out of four wearing a long dress, but her dress was cotton jersey when the others were *gasp* cotton sateen! Nobody cared or commented, and I'm never sure a good enough reason to do something is "because it will look good in pictures." That's how I ended up cased in spanx like a sausage and wearing nude, shiny hose for seven hours at a friend's wedding last year and I think I still have the crease marks seared into my skin. I think you'll be a lot happier if you let this one go.