FMIL requests....

[larussel03]

So, my FMIL is the sweetest person, allbeit a bit different. I felt bad b/c she really wanted us to get married and have the ceremony in the basement of, the arabic church. We aren''t doing this b/c a) niether FI nor I want to have a reception in the basement of this church and b) it''s really far out of the way from any of the reception ballrooms we were looking into, and we are afraid people would get lost b/c they''d have to navigate out of Boston, which can be really though for those who don''t know it well. FI and I do not have a church preference, so we''re looking for one that is closer to our reception site.

So, I feel bad that those aren''t happening...she isn''t making a stink or anything so it''s not that bad.

But,

Now she''s requesting that we have the DJ play a couple Static X songs at the reception. This is like heavy duty metal, folks, and is going to sound odd, awkward and out of place.

What do I do? Ask the DJ to somehow work it in??? We are planning on going with only modern hip hop music and 50ish ish oldies but goodies.

 

[galeteia]

Date: 7/13/2006 11:33:19 AM
Author:*~Sweetpea~*
So, my FMIL is the sweetest person, allbeit a bit different. I felt bad b/c she really wanted us to get married and have the ceremony in the basement of, the arabic church. We aren''t doing this b/c a) niether FI nor I want to have a reception in the basement of this church and b) it''s really far out of the way from any of the reception ballrooms we were looking into, and we are afraid people would get lost b/c they''d have to navigate out of Boston, which can be really though for those who don''t know it well. FI and I do not have a church preference, so we''re looking for one that is closer to our reception site.


So, I feel bad that those aren''t happening...she isn''t making a stink or anything so it''s not that bad.


But,


Now she''s requesting that we have the DJ play a couple Static X songs at the reception. This is like heavy duty metal, folks, and is going to sound odd, awkward and out of place.


What do I do? Ask the DJ to somehow work it in??? We are planning on going with only modern hip hop music and 50ish ish oldies but goodies.

Wow! Your FMIL sounds like quite an interesting woman! Even if she occasionally makes odd requests (and I find heavy metal played at a wedding reception a little odd, although I''d love to see a bunch of formally dressed older folk headbanging! That woild be a sight!

) you are lucky to have a sweet FMIL, which you seem to be well aware of already. I''m not sure what to suggest, except maybe playing it at the end of the night if you want to clear people out of there?

Or you could ask the DJ to play one song, and make sure he MC''s it beforehand so people know it''s at the request of the MIL. I think you could have fun with this.

 

[appletini]

Is it possible that she has an odd sense of humor and is joking with you. I can understand the church request, but heavy metal? Maybe that band has some love songs on the side that you''ve never heard? Only logical explanation. Perhaps you can later get her to help in other ways like stuffing invitation envelopes, or something so that she feels included.

 

[larussel03]

Date: 7/13/2006 11:58:23 AM
Author: appletini
Is it possible that she has an odd sense of humor and is joking with you. I can understand the church request, but heavy metal? Maybe that band has some love songs on the side that you''ve never heard? Only logical explanation. Perhaps you can later get her to help in other ways like stuffing invitation envelopes, or something so that she feels included.

Unfortunately not, I wish she were kidding...she played it at her daughter''s baby''s christening party (as well as put out fake ants on the table), and at her son''s graduation party. haha, and i know the band''s songs pretty well and there are def no slower love songs...you can actually barely understand them and they scream...I guess I''ll figure something out, I can''t say "no" to everything, even though some of the suggestions are ones that are either odd or not really feasible... : (

I''ll try to find soemthing else to include her in on also so she feels included.

 

[bee*]

I would try and get the DJ to work it in someway-she seems to have a really kooky sense of humour and it would be nice to do something for her

 

[BrightSpot]

Date: 7/13/2006 12:18:20 PM
Author: *~Sweetpea~*

Date: 7/13/2006 11:58:23 AM
Author: appletini
Is it possible that she has an odd sense of humor and is joking with you. I can understand the church request, but heavy metal? Maybe that band has some love songs on the side that you''ve never heard? Only logical explanation. Perhaps you can later get her to help in other ways like stuffing invitation envelopes, or something so that she feels included.

Unfortunately not, I wish she were kidding...she played it at her daughter''s baby''s christening party (as well as put out fake ants on the table), and at her son''s graduation party. haha, and i know the band''s songs pretty well and there are def no slower love songs...you can actually barely understand them and they scream...I guess I''ll figure something out, I can''t say ''no'' to everything, even though some of the suggestions are ones that are either odd or not really feasible... : (

I''ll try to find soemthing else to include her in on also so she feels included.

Maybe there''s a way to incoroporate the fake ants...

 

[larussel03]

<--me

<--FMIL

 

[saturn]

That does seem like a strange request. Maybe try to find out if there is another song she would be willing to request instead. But if she insists on Static X, then I think you should try to accomodate it. It sounds like she''s been very understanding throughout the wedding planning, so I think it would be worth a few strange reactions from the guests in order to show FMIL that she is appreciated. I agree that it might work better to play towards the end of the reception, though

 

[codex57]

One song couldn't hurt. As long as the DJ MC's before and lets the audience know it's for the MIL, I think it could be a funny thing and loosen guests up. Just gotta set the stage for it properly.

Honestly, sticking exactly to the script, you'll have plenty of guests saying "Oh, that was a lovely wedding." However, those same people along with the rest are also likely going to be thinking, "Great googly moogly was that wedding BORING!!!"

 

[laine]

Could you use it for the mother/son dance? I mean, since she wants it, that is the one song that she sorta gets to pick.

 

[larussel03]

Date: 7/13/2006 4:34:32 PM
Author: SanDiegoLady
Sorry, but hello.. weird! Head banging music does NOT belong at a wedding, or at a christening, NOR DO FAKE ANTS..

Of course I would never tell you what to do.. and.. it is YOUR wedding.. I just think that's just yicky, but that's my opinion..

haha, yeah I think headbanger stuff at a wedding is inappropriate, but we'll see

I'm just hoping that she'll not really want it when the time comes. I'll have FI talk to her...she has to pick a song for them to dance to anyways if she wants to do a mother son type dance. I dont want too many more than those 3 though b/c it takes up too much time (our dance, father-daughter and mother-son, which I did not know existed)

 

[chickflick]

Wow, and we laughed at my mom for requesting that we play "We are Family"!!

I would play one song for her, and ask the DJ to make it clear that the song is a special request from the mom of the groom. Make a big deal of how special it is, etc., and then don''t play anymore heavy metal songs

Unless you want to handbang your veil right off, that is!!

 

[larussel03]

Actually I am freaking slightly over this....I mean I looked up the lyrics thinking it can''t be that bad... and the song names are like "I''m with stupid" and "bled for days". There''s swearing and violence in the lyrics....how do I explain to her that I just cannot have those kind of words at the wedding without sounding awful, condescending or anything bad???

I dont want to be a bridezilla but the things that she requests are so out there...

 

[laine]

Maybe ask her which song she wants you to put on the list, like you''re being accomodating, and then mention that you don''t want any foul language or inappropriate themes like sex or violence (maybe say its because there are going to be kids, grandparents, whatever at the wedding), so could she please take that into account when picking the song. If one doesn''t exist without all that, oh well, you tried.

 

[codex57]

Yeah, definitely try and get her to pick one where the lyrics aren''t too bad. I''d go with "I''m with stupid" more than "bled for days". The more cynical guests might think it''s a joke that older couples like to say about each other and laugh a bit more. Just gotta have the DJ make it clear that it was a special request. You can always do it towards the end when people have hopefully drunk enough alcohol to have loosened up some.

I dunno. I keep picturing how it''s gonna go. I think if I were a guest, I''d be like "WTF?!?! Bahahahahahaha" while my wife looks at me like I''m crazy. I imagine more male guests would find it amusing than the female ones, but ya never know. I don''t think it''ll ruin the wedding and it seems a better choice than that basement reception idea she had.