FINALLY! a date and a venue! :D

[sweetpea&babycorn]

this process of wedding planning has confirmed that i have a serious problem with making decisions! BUT after months of searching, going back and forth, and figuring out dates, i think we finally have a date and venue!

our wedding will be june 18, 2011 at the lesner inn at virginia beach! we haven''t put down a deposit yet, but after our venue coordinator answers a few more questions, we will be sending a check to lock it down. i.am.SO.excited! i can''t wait to design our save the dates, invitations, bouquets, pick centerpieces, and finally give my girls the go-ahead for their dresses! i love that i''m getting married!

 

[lulu66]

it''s a good feeling, huh? congrats!

 

[farfrompro]

Congrats!! We actually looked into the Lesner inn when we were "venue shopping"! It''s a great place!

 

[princessplease]

Congrats!!!!!!

 

[sweetpea&babycorn]

thanks ladies! we''ve already looked at save the date magnets

Date: 4/22/2010 8:15:14 AM
Author: farfrompro
Congrats!! We actually looked into the Lesner inn when we were ''venue shopping''! It''s a great place!

thanks for the positive words farfrompro! if you don''t mind me asking, what made you decide to choose a different venue? we chose this venue based off my email and phone correspondence with our venue coordinator (very friendly, patient, and answered questions thoroughly), and their blog with pictures from other couples'' wedding. we live in new england, so we''re looking blindly, so to speak.

 

[Laila619]

Yay! Congrats on setting the date!

 

[caribqueen]

For me, booking a venue and finding the dress were the biggest challenges. So you''re half-way there. Congrats.

 

[sweetpea&babycorn]

Date: 4/22/2010 3:38:13 PM
Author: caribqueen
For me, booking a venue and finding the dress were the biggest challenges. So you''re half-way there. Congrats.

thank you carib! i sort of took a risk, and ordered my dress before booking a date and venue. i am starting medical school this summer and won''t have time to go dress shopping, so i figured while i have time off, i might as well find a dress. i am getting a custom made dress by this independent seamstress/dress maker near my hometown. sadly, i don''t have pictures of it yet but will post as soon as i can!

i also pose another question. and this came off another PSer''s thread about save the dates. our wedding is not local, but it''s not destination either. we chose virginia for many reasons. but i need to share a background story to sort of explain why...

i love my family, but the extended part is very difficult to deal with. many of them are superficial, financially competitive, sneaky, and gossip a lot! a few years ago, my parents went into this business venture with my dad''s uncle and tried to start a business in boston. soon it turned into many of my family memebers investing in this venture. they only agreed ot invest if my dad would be in charge of the finances. my dad''s uncle agreed, but once it got started, he started hiding a lot of things from my dad. since my dad lived far away, he could only dedicate one day a week to getitng the finances figured out etc. soon it spiraled into this huge mess, and although my parents have no proof, they think my uncle and his wife were taking investments and using it for their personal spending. the total investments were over 2million dollars and only 3 months after the business was started, it closed. my uncle filed for bankruptcy for the company, and the bank took over the building. they have not paid any of the money they borrowed outside of investments, and they have never showed up to a family function since.

so years later to the present, my family found out that my dad''s uncle didn''t completley file for bankruptcy... there was a branch company from the original company that was still "operating." there was a bill (about 12K) that wasn''t paid, and my uncle ignored all the court orders and ignored an offer from the company to settle for 3K. my dad was unaware of this becaues notices were being mailed to my uncle. so one day, my sister whose checking account is linked to my dad, finds out that all her accounts have been frozen and locked. three days later, everything that has my dad''s SS# attached to it is frozen. my dad finds out about this unpaid bill, and all the court orders. he finally helps his uncle settle the matter and everything gets unlocked. BUT now my dad''s credit is ruined and the only way for my parents to get a loan is to use my mom''s credit rating, and to exclude my dad from all accounts and assets.

my parents really wanted to do something about it, but my grandfather doesn''t want any legal action to disrupt the balance and harmony of the family (whatever that means). i am chinese and so family dynamics is very important and you don''t heckle the "higher uppers" of the family. my mom is livid because she believes family heirarchy is bullsh*t. so now my parents are kind of "eh" about having our extended family and my wedding, and i sort of agree. they tend to complain a lot and point out all the shortcomings of events. but because of family heirarchy, i sitll have to invite them. SO, sorry that was long but i felt like i had to explain that i love my family, but i don''t think it''s a good idea to have them at my wedding. plus we are on a budget, so it''d be nice to have a downsized reception.

so we picked virginia because it''s good for my fiance''s family both geographically and financially, and it''s far away that i can still invite my extended family

we plan on sending our save the dates about 9 months before the wedding, and then follow up with invitations 3-4 months before the wedding to allow for travel arrangements. since it''s not really destination-y, should we still include hotel accomodation options, airports, and things to do for the STDs, or wait until we send out the invitations? also, our venue does have any rooms for our guests to stay in, so should we contact a nearby hotel and reserve a block of rooms, or let our guests choose where they want to stay?

 

[nkarma]

One of the many reasons I am having a DW is extended family as well and hoping they don''t come even though I have to invite them so I understand..very horrible circumstance with the family business though.

As far as accomodations and all that, who do you want to come to the wedding? Where are they coming from? If you have close friends coming from your hometowm or somewhere out of virginia beach, it would be nice for them to have all that info.

 

[caribqueen]

Date: 4/23/2010 1:33:01 PM
Author: sweetpea&babycorn

Date: 4/22/2010 3:38:13 PM
Author: caribqueen
For me, booking a venue and finding the dress were the biggest challenges. So you''re half-way there. Congrats.

we plan on sending our save the dates about 9 months before the wedding, and then follow up with invitations 3-4 months before the wedding to allow for travel arrangements. since it''s not really destination-y, should we still include hotel accomodation options, airports, and things to do for the STDs, or wait until we send out the invitations? also, our venue does have any rooms for our guests to stay in, so should we contact a nearby hotel and reserve a block of rooms, or let our guests choose where they want to stay?

My family is also not American, so I understand the importance placed on extended family and understand your issues.

We sent our STDs about 9 months out because we have lots of family coming from other countries - Europe and the Caribbean. On it, we included the link to our wedding website, which included hotel accomodations, prices, numbers etc. to give people a heads up about hotel prices. As far as things to do in the area, you can always either include that in invitations or on your website (if you choose to have one) closer to your wedding.

Even now, with just one week to go before our discounted rates go away, we''re still having to remind people to reserve their room or pay the going rate. Yet they''ve known for months that May 1st is the cutoff. But we can only do so much. The rest is up to them.

Our venue also does not have a hotel, but we did ask them to refer us to one in their area and they already have one that they work cooperatively with (it''s just across the street). We then went ahead and found two others in the area to give guests a choice, one that cost a little less and another that cost a little more, for a total of three hotels to choose from.

Hope this helps!

 

[sweetpea&babycorn]

thanks nkarma and caribqueen (again!) for the feedback!

i''m glad there are people who are under the same kind of thinking, and most importantly understand, because it''s very easy on the surface for it to seem that i''m being cheap with our budget and somehow want to cut out my family first out of all our guests. it couldn''t be less true. i just want my wedding to be a happy day and for everyone to have a good, especially my parents. i know if i had all my extended family there, they will spend the entire time being polite and not be able to live up the day.

we were going to use magnets as our STDs but it looks like we''ll have to change it up. maybe a postcard style STD. back to martha stewart for inspiration!

 

[farfrompro]

We originally looked at the Lesner because it has great views and outdoor/indoor space. The only reason we didnt go with them is because they have a wedding package that inludes ALL wedding related aspects such as photographer, cake, flowers etc. and the person we spoke to said that they preferred you use those companies. We had specific people/companies in mind for certain wedding aspects so we didnt want to go that route. However, this is probably a perfect situation for you since you are out of town and it includes all vendors! Sorry it took so long to respond, I have to keep up with my discussion boards a little more!!

Feel free to ask me about any other VB related wedding things...I''ll answer as best i can!

 

[farfrompro]

also....i read your posting a little further and you were asking about booking hotels for family and friends. Just to let you know.....VB is a BIG tourist town and summer can get pretty busy so i would def. block out some rooms ahead of time. you dont want any guests getting here and not having a place to stay! Also, look into sandbridge because you can rent out houses by the week or long weekend (3-4 days) that can sleep anywhere from 5-25. That may be an option as well.

 

[sweetpea&babycorn]

thank you ffp! we haven''t heard anything about limited vendors from our rep, so i will be sure to ask her about that before booking our photographer, band, etc. we will also ask about which hotels are near the inn and book rooms there. sandbridge looked cool! we were looking at this area earlier in our search, and the only concern i have is that we would have to book the houses for a week, and our wedding is only a weekend. i wouldn''t feel secure reserving a house if we can''t get the guests to book it. we will certainly offer it on our wedding website for travel accomodations and our guests can decide whether they want to get a whole group together, contact the real estate company, and rent a house for a week, or go with the hotel option.

we are right now considering two photographers and i would love to get people''s thoughts. but first, am i allowed to post links to photographers? or is that considered a form of advertising? i''ve spoken to both photographers and we''re having a hard time deciding which one to book.