Asking attendants?

[Erinleigh]

Hi all!

I''m wondering when during the planning process you''re supposed to ask your bridesmaids/groomsmen to actually be bridesmaids/groomsmen? FI and I are planning a two year engagement (tentative date: Sept 24, 2011) and want to ask people at the right time. I guess we worry that a lot can change in two years, and perhaps the close friends that we''re considering now (that are long distance) might not be as close two years from now? I guess my question is: Is asking now too early or is waiting a year weird?

 

[cindygenit]

I would wait.

The people in my bridal party are close friends who have known me for 6 years + (since high school), one of them isn''t even in the same country but i know that she will be standing next to me on my wedding day.

It seems like you aren''t sure yet.

 

[Erinleigh]

Cindy- thanks for your comments! It''s not so much that there are people that I won''t want in the party in two years (which is maybe how my post came across) but moreso, would the girls find it weird being asked so far out? I guess I was just saying that alot changes in two years and I wouldn''t want it to seem odd or be overbearing on my behalf asking people so far in advance? Hopefully that better explains my concerns...

 

[cindygenit]

Oh right... no i don't think you'll come across as overbearing at all! I think it is kinda sweet that you already know so far in advance that these girls are who you want in your bridal party.

I sincerely think your close friends will NOT think it is weird for you to ask so far in advance. Some people are just organised, right? Haha

 

[jaylex]

Date: 10/12/2009 10:43:37 PM
Author:Erinleigh
Hi all!

I''m wondering when during the planning process you''re supposed to ask your bridesmaids/groomsmen to actually be bridesmaids/groomsmen? FI and I are planning a two year engagement (tentative date: Sept 24, 2011) and want to ask people at the right time. I guess we worry that a lot can change in two years, and perhaps the close friends that we''re considering now (that are long distance) might not be as close two years from now? I guess my question is: Is asking now too early or is waiting a year weird?

We are having a long engagement too.. we''re thinking about May 21st, 2011 as our wedding date.

At this point, my best friend whom i''ve known since we were like, 10 know''s that she''s going to be my MOH. Cute thing is already "googleing" her duties! She''s so excited!

And FI know''s that he is def going to have my bro in his party as a groomsman and his lil bro as the ringbearer.
But other than that, we are waiting until about a year before the wedding for the same reason you are considering waiting.

For us, it''s the best option... like insurance or something lol.

 

[gls]

My FI and I are thinking either the start or end of 2011 either way its a while away. Ive already asked my attendants, I blurted it out when I told them I was engaged, without even really consulting with FI

So I think whenever you are ready, but make sure its the right choice cause I was asked to be an attendant and it was then taken back after her mil to be said that only family can be in the bridal party

.
Either way be excited and good luck with the planning!

 

[Morgie44]

I would definitely wait, I have heard and witnessed so so many stories of people asking their attendants too soon and then wishing they hadn''t. I would say ask between 1 yr and 9 months out.

 

[vc10um]

I would wait until you''re about a year out...and have a date set in stone. One of my friends got engaged back in March of 2008. When she and her FI set a date in November of that year, we were still about a year and a half out from the wedding: May of 2010. In May of 2009, I received the most adorable hand-written card from her in the mail asking me to be a bridesmaid. It was fabulous, because I was able to say right away that I was honored and accept...not give her a tentative acceptance for six months to make sure we were still friends when the planning process really got under way!!!

A lot happens in a year--ESPECIALLY if you''re at a transition point in your lives (right after college, etc)

 

[tropiqalkiwi]

I waited until we had a definite date and location until we asked our respective parties. I just don't think it would be fair to make them decide before they know what will be involved (travel? hotel costs? etc.) and when it will take place (will they have to give up something they have already planned?).

While our list didn't change from the time we got engaged til when we asked I just felt better giving them an exact idea of what we were asking them to do.

 

[Erinleigh]

Thanks for all of your replies ladies! As of today, we have confirmed a venue and date (yay!)... but I''m still not sure whether I should be asking people or not. I''ve asked my sister to be my maid of honour (which would always be the case no matter what). Maybe that''s all I''ll do for now!

 

[princesss]

Date: 10/13/2009 1:13:51 AM
Author: jaylex

We are having a long engagement too.. we''re thinking about May 21st, 2011 as our wedding date.

Mini-threadjack:

Jaylex, that''s a great date. (It might happen to be my 25th birthday....) Two thumbs up to that choice.

 

[vc10um]

Congrats on booking! Sounds like a great idea holding off on asking others, but asking your sister. She''ll be really helpful in the early stages of planning, and then as you get closer to your date and need to start taking care of more details, you can ask the other girls and they can lend helping hands as well!

 

[jaylex]

Date: 10/13/2009 2:51:24 PM
Author: princesss

Date: 10/13/2009 1:13:51 AM
Author: jaylex



We are having a long engagement too.. we're thinking about May 21st, 2011 as our wedding date.

Mini-threadjack:

Jaylex, that's a great date. (It might happen to be my 25th birthday....) Two thumbs up to that choice.

ha ha! yay! a great date, indeed!

Well I had my heart set on getting married on a "12".. we started dating 12-12-05 and I would have loved to have gotten married on 05-12-12 but we just can't wait that long! And the only "12th" Saturdays in 2011 are in Nov and march... very cold in Ohio... so we ex'd that..
21 is 12 backwards so I still win! lol.

And I'm a may baby too! May 28th (a week after the wedding lol)!