yet another registry question thread...

[swimmer]

Before I ask my question I need to get the prerequisites out of the way: I understand that there are no obligations for folks to get us gifts, we just want their presence, I am uncomfortable with the registry thing but didn''t want 7 crock pots, and we are both 31 and live together so own forks.

Whew. OK, so on earlier threads folks were really specific that the registry shouldn''t include everything and the kitchen sink and I totally agree. But here I sit, 3 weeks till the wedding, and all of the flatware and china has been purchased, plus some random Judaica I knew great aunts would be into purchasing. Now what should I do? Yeah, its a rough life having all my registry gone

but again, the crock pot situation...my poor mum has had to go to BB&B several times to return totally random stuff (she loves it so is fine) but I''m now wondering if I should register for stuff that we don''t want on the site that we have been using and rolling it over into silver. That is what is incomplete, only have 5 settings so far, but they are pricey so that is not a surprise. I feel weird doing that, and wouldn''t with stuff from dear ones, but its the extended relatives... I hate that I sound like a whiney person here, but I don''t want to be that person who has a ton on the registry... and yet people are complaining that there isn''t anything there anymore. Should I register for picture frames? Leave it as is and just hope that no one gets us anything else or create a new game of guessing what is in the box?
Oh, and I might be dying of jet lag so that is not helping anything. Brain has turned to soup. Thanks for your insight.

 

[neatfreak]

You need to add more things, in cheaper price ranges. Can you do cloth napkins or towels or sheets? Those you can never have enough of...

Picture frames would work too. Even things like kitchen gadgets, use this to upgrade the things you have if necessary.

I agree that I don't love the registry idea either, but everyone else does, so I would just suck it up and add some stuff.

 

[karasue91]

is it too late to go to another store and start another registry? crate and barrel/pottery barn/williams sonoma? Or a department store with some different stuff like luggage or rugs?

 

[brazen_irish_hussy]

If it were me, I would register for more cheap stuff then exchange it for the silver you want. That way they get to pay what they are comfortable with and you get what you actually need and want.

 

[Sabine]

I would add as much cheaper stuff as you could that you actually want, and then add some additional stuff that you could exchange as credit towards your silver *if the silver you registered for is from BBB too*. That way BBB is still getting your business and you get what you want the most without your guests having to pay more than they are comfortable

 

[swimmer]

Great, thank you Sabine, BIH, Karasue, and neatfreak!
I registered at Bloomingdales because that is where my sister registered, and man is their return policy great. The thing is that I have run out of anything I could possibly want there. A $99 electric toothbrush? I mean, dental health is crucial, but I like the free one from the dentist. We keep getting things from BB&B so that might be a sign that we should register there. In the meantime I''ll throw some picture frames and candlesticks on the registry and roll them over into credit for silver.

I think my underlying issue with the registry is that it seems linked to the question people constantly ask "so, where are you buying a house?" Its like now that we have nice plates we have to leave our very excellently located but tiny city apartment and move to the burbs. I feel trapped by the registry; the trappings of marriage are going to force us to move, then people will expect us to reproduce and we sorta want to, pretty soon we will have a minivan, a big deal for a prius/bicycle couple...
I''m overjoyed to be getting married, but this wedding thing is overwhelming.

Ladies just getting started with registries, ignore me, but pick a place where you like lots of stuff.

 

[Independent Gal]

Swimmer, did you know that Bloomingdales has a fine jewelry department? I'm just saying, I'm sure a good PS'er like you could find a use for all those extra credit notes. And BB&B will let you return things for cash, I hear tell.

But yeah, I hear ya. We got everything we could possibly want, including upgrades of pretty much every object in the kitchen and still had $1000 in gift cards to spare. Well, at least they don't go stale.

In a pinch, you could always stock up on socks and underwear for, like, the next 100 years.

 

[sumbride]

Date: 5/4/2008 4:49:57 AM
Author: swimmer

I think my underlying issue with the registry is that it seems linked to the question people constantly ask ''so, where are you buying a house?'' Its like now that we have nice plates we have to leave our very excellently located but tiny city apartment and move to the burbs. I feel trapped by the registry; the trappings of marriage are going to force us to move, then people will expect us to reproduce and we sorta want to, pretty soon we will have a minivan, a big deal for a prius/bicycle couple...

I''m overjoyed to be getting married, but this wedding thing is overwhelming.

I get that... but try to ignore that! We do have a house, but now we have crystal and china and relish trays and so many serving platters! And salad bowls and pitchers and multiple sets of candle sticks!!! And it dawned on me that um... well, since we are planning on it staying just the two of us... how often am I actually going to use serving bowls? and pitchers? usually I serve our plates when I''m done cooking and I put that on the table. Makes sense, right? just the two of us... why bother with the extra dishes! I totally didn''t think about it while I was registering. It has JUST hit me... this is it. We really don''t need more than one big giant salad bowl... and we have 6 or 7. Sure, we''ll have parties and such, but still....

I''ve started to use some of the serving bowls as a way to cut down on portion sizes. As in, if DH thinks we don''t have any more over on the stove, he may eat less, and we''ll have leftovers for lunches. It works, mostly, until he heads into the kitchen to put his plate in the sink and spies that the pot is still full. Must put leftovers away BEFORE dinner. La la la... I''ve gone off on a tangent... I just wanted to say having nice plates does not mean you automatically have to move to the suburbs with a minivan. We still live in the city. We just have nice plates.

 

[Selkie]

Date: 5/4/2008 4:49:57 AM
Author: swimmer
...
I feel trapped by the registry; the trappings of marriage are going to force us to move, then people will expect us to reproduce and we sorta want to, pretty soon we will have a minivan, a big deal for a prius/bicycle couple...

Wait, that wasn't written in MY contract!

Marriage isn't about STUFF, don't let people make you think it is.

Are people actually complaining to you or your mother about your registry? It's not your job to worry about the whiny people who can't figure out what to get you without using the registry. I can think of an easy, 4 letter solution to that problem (hint: it starts with a 'c'). Or gift cards. Do you have gift cards on your registries?

 

[Selkie]

I''m sorry, that post came off a bit bitchy, Swimmer! I didn''t mean it to, but my sarcasmometer doesn''t work very well on Sunday mornings at 9AM. Anyway, I''m just saying I get what you are saying. Yeah. Anyway, your guests will figure it out without you tearing your hair out about whether to include those pewter crab-shaped wine stoppers on your registry. (Yes, really.)

 

[swimmer]

Selkie you make me laugh, I get your sarcasm, no worries.
YES, many people have complained to me, mom, fmil, fsil, and sister that there is "nothing on the registry" like I''m supposed to do something. I''m quasi defensive about it because of several things; a secretary that I don''t care for at school said, "well aren''t you a fancy pants registering for china!" Now my friends at work call me fancy pants. Which is funny since I''m markedly non-fancy. And its funny when people are ignorant, but I feel defensive about some of the comments I''ve gotten about the registry, not from MY friends, but extended relatives from FI''s family who make it clear that what they are really talking about is how my family is not quite... Yeah, they are the ones who keep pestering about a house. OY. yeah, I added some stuff and am just going to be done with it. Some will say there is too much on the registry, some not enough, I''m done with finding a balance. I guess I''ll be judged either way, but not by the people I care most about.

 

[swimmer]

IG, can''t wait for more of your pics!
You know, I had not considered the non registry part of the store. That is an interesting suggestion. Would that we had room for a century of undies

Perhaps nice sunglasses. Are your cards for Bloomies? The website has some nice diamond hoops if those cards are burning a hole.