Would you sell your ER/WR to facilitate an upgrade??

[loveloveloveit]

Firstly, to preface the question, my ER/WR are not the originals as they''ve already been remade due to the first settings wearing away at each other. So, technically, though the design is similar to what DH had made, it''s not the one. Secondly, I already owned the original ER diamond so he also didn''t buy that. Having had the reset done twice I realise it''s not the setting, it''s the diamond, and unfortunately my setting cannot accomodate a larger diamond.

So, just wondering what you would do as I am OBSESSED with beautiful jewellery but for the minute can''t justify the cost of the upgrade my heart desires

 

[yssie]

Not a problem, if the upgrade was something I''d thought long and hard about and FI/DH was on board.

 

[loveloveloveit]

thanks yssie, it''s just one long neverending dilemma ... what to do, what to do, what to do!

 

[susimoo]

I am not really sentimental about my diamond rings. The only one I would never ever change is my plain gold wedding band. Even if I won the lottery and was sporting a 10 carat AVC in a leon setting (L

VE!), it would still be alongside my original wedding band.

Since finding PS I too realize I want a better stone and then a bigger stone, so I intend to go down the upgrade route.

In order to facilitate that, I am currently consigning my solitaire with a view to buying a better and hopefully bigger, upgradeable diamond.

Husband suffers this providing I don''t talk to him (too much! lol) about it and do my stressing on here.

Good luck with whatever you chose. I am two months into this process an even although I know it could take a lot longer I am happy to sit back and see what happens.

 

[Circe]

Given the circumstances you describe ... sure! Do keep in mind, though, selling diamonds means operating at a loss - there''s a key statistic that I won''t try to quote properly, but you''ll probably get less than half of what you paid. That, more then any sentimentality, is what prevents me from selling older pieces to finance new ones. I''d rather save up for the whatever, and save the pieces for future generations, gifts, remakes, what have you ....

 

[Farleysmom]

I did upgrade my ering but I kept the original diamond and put it in a pendant that I wear almost every day. When I upgraded by diamond, I changed my set from yellow gold to white gold but had the ring made over in a style very similar to the one that my husband chose. Although I like the ring, it''s not my first love. I''m currently in the process of changing it again (but keeping my side bands). I will be going from a solitare with side channel set diamonds to a 3-stone ring. Hopefully, this will be my final change.

 

[loveloveloveit]

Hi susimoo, can I inquire who you are consigning through out of interest? I have spoken with Erica Grace but haven''t decided yet whether it''s worth trying.

Farleysmom, I am really interested to see what 3 stone you may choose as I may go down that path also. As much as I love a solitaire, and in fact I love my solitaire setting (it''s the stone I''m not in love with) because I have larger size 8 fingers I think I need the coverage of a 3 stone or something that spreads as I don''t really see myself in a 2 or 3 carat diamond anytime soon ... or ever. I would prefer a centre stone of 1ct with a couple of sides ... ah dreaming.

 

[NeverEndingUpgrade]

Date: 5/9/2010 4:35:03 AM
Author: loveloveloveit
thanks yssie, it''s just one long neverending dilemma ... what to do, what to do, what to do!

I understand perfectly!!!!

 

[Farleysmom]

Date: 5/9/2010 8:52:58 AM
Author: loveloveloveit
Hi susimoo, can I inquire who you are consigning through out of interest? I have spoken with Erica Grace but haven''t decided yet whether it''s worth trying.

Farleysmom, I am really interested to see what 3 stone you may choose as I may go down that path also. As much as I love a solitaire, and in fact I love my solitaire setting (it''s the stone I''m not in love with) because I have larger size 8 fingers I think I need the coverage of a 3 stone or something that spreads as I don''t really see myself in a 2 or 3 carat diamond anytime soon ... or ever. I would prefer a centre stone of 1ct with a couple of sides ... ah dreaming.

loveloveloveit: I currently have a 2.01 ct RB solitaire that I will be putting in the center of the 3-stone ring and am looking at .75-.80 each sidestones. I''m currently having the waxes done for a Lucinda (hope I got that right) trellis style setting. I have asked that the center stone sit up high with the side stones lower. I can''t wait to see what this will look like. I''m going to keep my current setting also and perhaps put a coloured stone in the center to wear when I go on vacation.

 

[vbnet]

ok, I'm going out on a limb sharing here, and don't mean to disrespect any one else's choices because every one has to do what's right for them. Be patient it's a long and rambling story.

I've been married 25 yrs. After my children were born, my husband hired a sitter and took me back to our original jeweler to choose a baby present (Bless his heart). He was thinking upgrade at the time. I had a .87 pear, channel set rounds (very decent sized) sorry, no pics, I just want to get on w/ the story. I was thrilled w/ the idea of the upgrade, but knew for the additional amount we had to spend, didn't think we would be going more than a really nice 1ct, or leeser cut 1.25 ct. The itnernet and Pricescope did not exist back then. When we came into the store, I saw a large 5ct sapphire w/ 2 small rounds and was smitten. To cut to the chase, we bought it. I STILL love this sapphire ring and wear it all the time.

Flash forward to 20 years of marriage, changing careers, lots of challenges. Life is not always a bed a roses, and sometimes not even a level prairie, but you work with the hand you are dealt and do the best you can. One of our few recreational activities is going to nice restaurants and my husband loves to cook - only too well. As a result we liked to eat. Only too well. Somehow I suddenly woke up to be a size 22-24, I won't give away his size, that's his business but it wasn't pretty. Again, flash forward 5 years. After starting out walking, exercising, major diet changes, learning to eat a reasonable amount of food I'm back to size 14, moving towards a 12. Every month I'm cleanining out BOXES OF STUFF I don't want any more, clothes, shoes, etc. As I do this, and here's the point of the story, there's stuff I have no idea why I bought it, or why I didn't wear it, or I only wore it twice, or similar types of stories. My friends and I have discussed this because some of them have similar issues, why do we buy what we buy sometimes? I think when we can't have something we really want (in my case I didn't like the way I was starting to look so I kept trying to buy something to make me look better), we try to compensate, but it doesn't really work.

Earlier this year I saw a designer leather jacket that KNOCKED my socks off. I don't always buy designmer clothes just once in a great while. But, this jacket had me. It was expensive, so I felt I should not buy it, yet everytime I was in that store, I had to walk by it. I would check it out online, etc. But I said no, I didn't need to spend $$ on it. So what happened, I bought something else. Next week, I found I bought something else. After the 3rd iteration, I realized what was happening. Fortunately the store had an across the board 20% off sale, & I had a coupon ... so I bought the jacket and took everything else back!!!! I wore this jacket at least 100x this year. I probably don't have many things in my closet that I can say that about.

I too have pined for an upgrade. Fortunately, my husband said we're dong it this year so we are in process. The wisdom I want to pass to you is save up for what it is yo uREALLY want so you can have something you will treasure! But, don't make yourself and hubby crazy in the process. I personally would save until I could buy what I wanted. Then sell the the ering, gold or whatever you don't want at that time. You might decide to look for a 2nd stone for a matching set of earrings. On the other hand, if the stone was yours before you were engaged, a gift from a family member, or another situation, you should feel free to trade/ sell it as long as your - I'm going to borrow a phrase I've seen in someone's signature line "Your mind is clean" on it. Be gentle with your hubby, many husbands can't take too much of this ring business.

Good luck in whatevery you do! oops so in response to your poll, I'm a blend of #1 & 2. Leaning toward #1, but be soft and considerate of whatever feelings your dh has.

 

[Cehrabehra]

I voted for being patient but I want to say that I would not trade in my wedding band for anything whether I wear it or not. For the e-ring it would depend... I probably wouldn''t want to get rid of my original e-ring but that''s because in my mind if I''d had an original e-ring it would have been small and deeply sentimental and not worth trading in. I got my first diamond after 15 years of marriage and while I don''t want to trade in the stone, I do want to reset it. I''m not sure if I''d trade it in if I could upgrade it directly... but maybe I would.

 

[RaiKai]

I voted for being patient.

My circumstances are a bit different in that I never had an ering. I do have my original sapphire centre and diamond pave wedding ring which I will always keep (and wear on days it fits my slightly larger RH but even if I did not I would keep it).

I did get a new set after we were married for various reasons including comfort and lifestyle (sapphire centre, not diamond) and I would never willingly trade this set or sell it as even though it was not with me when I married it is still very sentimental due to certain touches. I do not intend to upgrade this set or stone but should I do so for some reason I still would keep this set.

 

[Black Jade]

I wouldn''t--but that doesn''t mean that you shouldn''t.
I wear my wedding ring which is a plain gold band on my left ring finger every day and my original engagement ring 99 out of 100 days. sometimes (very rarely, I wear my anniversary ring, which is also a solitaire, on my left hand and put my e-ring on my right, but that''s rare. I have various half eternity bands that I switch around to get different looks, but always wearing my wedding ring, which is important to me and my husband.

However, I am not you. I hope you figure out what you want and think only of pleasing your DH and your self not a lot of voices in your head saying what you ''should'' do.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

I voted yes I would sell it b/c if I got a new ring I would want to wear it and not feel like my original ring was sitting in a drawer somewhere. Personally I don''t think that I would upgrade, but if I did I would sell my ering to finance it

 

[SparklyOEC]

I''m sentimental about my husband, my children and other people around me. That does not apply to my jewelery or other things I own. I don''t want to go into a really, really long story, but if I had the original set I got from my husband (I don''t

), then I would keep it. However, I''ve sold jewelery to buy something else I wanted (including e-rings), and I''ve never regretted it. What I would say though is be gentle with your DH and if he''s on board, go for it!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

oops, I voted for the wrong things. . .I''d never sell my eng. ring to fund another project. Either I''d save up for a second ring or just enjoy the one I have.

 

[kelpie]

I''ve sold 2 of my engagement rings, but they were bought used in the first place and not picked out by my fiance. I was just working my way up to my forever ring, which I should have soon. I wanted all the upgrading to be done before our marriage. I think I''ll be sentimental once I have exactly what I want and get married with it.

 

[tberube]

I love the idea of upgrading someday, but I voted to wait because if you do, then you''re more likely to get exactly what you want the first (and hopefully last) time, and not drive your hubby crazy if what you get now still isn''t what you ultimately wanted in the end. But as far as trading the original diamond in? I wouldn''t consider myself the type of person who is sentimental about material things, in fact if you ask my parents they''d say I throw out everything! But I received my engagement ring on one of the happiest days of my life...a day I''d been waiting for, for so long. Even more than my wedding band, my engagement ring means that my husband and I belong to each other...it was our moment alone. And that ring reminds me of that moment whenever I look at it. The more I think about it, I honestly can''t imagine how a person CAN''T be attached to their engagement ring!

But of course, every person and every circumstance is different, and I wish you all the best with your decision. But my advice is to wait for "the" right ring....not just something to hold its place for a little while.

 

[yssie]

Yes - I would third (fourth?) the idea of waiting until you''re absolutely sure of what you want - you don''t want to get something you''re not entirely happy with and have it set, etc. and then lose money on the setting if you decide to change/upgrade

 

[motownmama]

Your Q says "Would YOU sell...?" definitely I never ever ever would!!!
But - should YOU sell? I think it sounds OK given your particular circumstances.

 

[arjunajane]

I voted in line with what has happened in my real life - I have been fortunate to receive an upgrade,
and also collect a few other projects along the way..
I am not hugely sentimental about my original ering, and only wear it occasionally, but would *never* sell it.
My Fi is attached and sentimental about it, but doesn''t mind me wearing my upgrade / other rings - as long as I keep the original in the mix

So, that''s my story - but it''s completely different to yours!
If your guy is on board and it won''t cause un-due financial pressure, I say it''s fine.

 

[MrsBettyBoop]

I voted yes. I kept my original diamond but sold the setting.

 

[Phoenix]

I echo what someone else said - *I* wouldn''t sell *mine* (in fact I''ve had it recut and reset into a pendant) but should YOU do it? Based on what you''ve said, I don''t see much wrong in selling yours if I were you.

 

[LGK]

Your e-ring was a diamond you originally owned, and the setting has been changed already? Yeah, in that case it sounds like it isn't a hugely sentimental piece and if that's true, sell it if your husband doesn't care. And go with a vendor who you can upgrade easily with. That way, in time, you will be able to work up to the size you want.

As far as *I* am concerned, I wouldn't sell my original- it was all of $400 and a .20cttw antique wedding set. So it has way more sentimental value than actual monetary value. (Unfortunately it isn't wearable- it was missing for years since I couldn't wear it... it finally finally turned up last week actually, in a random pretty box I had put it in to be "safe"

... it was very safe, for about six or seven years!)

 

[Phoenix]

Date: 5/10/2010 1:04:28 AM
Author: LittleGreyKitten
Your e-ring was a diamond you originally owned, and the setting has been changed already? Yeah, in that case it sounds like it isn''t a hugely sentimental piece and if that''s true, sell it if your husband doesn''t care. And go with a vendor who you can upgrade easily with. That way, in time, you will be able to work up to the size you want.

As far as *I* am concerned, I wouldn''t sell my original- it was all of $400 and a .20cttw antique wedding set. So it has way more sentimental value than actual monetary value. (Unfortunately it isn''t wearable- it was missing for years since I couldn''t wear it... it finally finally turned up last week actually, in a random pretty box I had put it in to be ''safe''

... it was very safe, for about six or seven years!)

Ha ha, this happens to me a lot!

 

[loveloveloveit]

You guys are all truly truly fabulous, especially for sharing your own experience. VBNet, especially thank you for your story as I really really really know how you feel as I do this all the time. I can even say the same of my ER - my DH asked me if I was happy with it, was it "big" enough and in complete truth and honesty I was not, I just said yes as to not hurt his feelings. Had he purchased the diamond in the first place I would have felt differently about it, but at that time when we could have afforded the expense he didn''t. Fast forward to now, it''s all a different story with kids and the mortgage etc, but I really just wnat something I will actually feel really proud of. For now, I don''t have that.

Littlegreykitten - I really did have to laugh with your story as I too put things in "safe" places, and wonder "will I be able to find that when I want it" and then down the track know I had the thought but can''t remember the place!

I WISH I had never changed my wedding band, even though the setting had worn and it always would have done so it DID have sentimental value, I just didn''t realise at the time. It is one of the things I really do miss. I did have the diamonds reset into another band, and though I did originally love it, over time I lapsed into regret.

So, when "next time" comes I will have another made very similar to my first and wear it as though it is the original. Perhaps that''s my compromise, have a new wedder made now and hold out for the ER. Anyway, that''s just thinking out aloud. Thanks so much to all the rest of you for your comments, I really do appreciate them.