Would you say something if you saw a pregnant woman smoking?

[Samantha Red]

As I drove home from work today I saw a heavily pregnant woman smoking as she walked along the street. I was very shocked and saddened as I can't have children and felt sad someone should have such apparent disregard for the life inside them. I wondered whether I would have commented had I not been in the car. What would you do?

 

[iheartscience]

Re: Would you say something if you saw a pregnant woman smok

Of course I wouldn't say anything. She's a grown woman and can do what she wants. What in the world do you think you would accomplish by saying something? I will never understand why perfect strangers feel they have the right to tell a grown woman what to do with her own body.

And not particularly scientific, but my mom smoked throughout all 4 of her pregnancies, and somehow me and my 4 siblings (1 of the pregnancies was with me and my twin sister) turned out to be intelligent, contributing members of society. Oh and aside from me and my twin sister (we were 5 and 6 pounds each), all her childern were above 8 pounds when born.

 

[Puppmom]

Re: Would you say something if you saw a pregnant woman smok

Nah, would you change your behavior if a random stranger said something to you? It would have been pointless.

 

[stephbolt]

Re: Would you say something if you saw a pregnant woman smok

Nope, it's none of my business what she does. She certainly is aware of the health risks associated with smoking while pregnant (after all, the warnings are on the pack) and if she chooses to disregard that medical advice that's her choice. Either way her choice has no bearing on my health and well-being, so I would keep my mouth shut.

 

[JillyC]

Re: Would you say something if you saw a pregnant woman smok

Of course I wouldn't say anything. She's a grown woman and can do what she wants. What in the world do you think you would accomplish by saying something? I will never understand why perfect strangers feel they have the right to tell a grown woman what to do with her own body.

And not particularly scientific, but my mom smoked throughout all 4 of her pregnancies, and somehow me and my 4 siblings (1 of the pregnancies was with me and my twin sister) turned out to be intelligent, contributing members of society. Oh and aside from me and my twin sister (we were 5 and 6 pounds each), all her childern were above 8 pounds when born.

Some years back, when I was pregnant, my OB's brother joined his practice. On one of my first visits seeing the new doctor we were talking about patients smoking while pregnant. (I had quit with my first child, so smoking wasn't an issue for me then). He told me about a pregnant friend of his who tried to use the doctor's mother as an excuse for her not quitting. She had told him "well your mother smoked with all of you and see, you're a doctor, so it can't be that bad" His response was "Yeah, but if she hadn't smoked I'd have been a brain surgeon"!

It's a cute story, but I agree with Thing. A grown woman can decide for herself what to do with her own body. It's really no else's business.

 

[Loves Vintage]

Re: Would you say something if you saw a pregnant woman smok

I wouldn't have said anything, but I can completely understand why you would want to. I would want to say something too, but I would have to choose not to.

 

[TravelingGal]

Re: Would you say something if you saw a pregnant woman smok

Some years back, when I was pregnant, my OB's brother joined his practice. On one of my first visits seeing the new doctor we were talking about patients smoking while pregnant. (I had quit with my first child, so smoking wasn't an issue for me then). He told me about a pregnant friend of his who tried to use the doctor's mother as an excuse for her not quitting. She had told him "well your mother smoked with all of you and see, you're a doctor, so it can't be that bad" His response was "Yeah, but if she hadn't smoked I'd have been a brain surgeon"!

It's a cute story, but I agree with Thing. A grown woman can decide for herself what to do with her own body. It's really no else's business.

No, I wouldn't. I don't need to tell people what to do just so I can get it off my chest. If it would make a difference, I'd say something, but it won't.

The only time I would say something to someone lighting up, it would have to be around my child and be:
A) in my house or around it.
B) at a place where it's expressly prohibited and obviously for children, like a playground.

Any other time, I'd just move the kid.

 

[geckodani]

Re: Would you say something if you saw a pregnant woman smok

No, I wouldn't. And I see it a lot. Unfortunately it wouldn't help anything. Makes me want to punch something, but ultimately it's their choice.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Re: Would you say something if you saw a pregnant woman smok

Of course I wouldn't say anything. She's a grown woman and can do what she wants. What in the world do you think you would accomplish by saying something? I will never understand why perfect strangers feel they have the right to tell a grown woman what to do with her own body.

And not particularly scientific, but my mom smoked throughout all 4 of her pregnancies, and somehow me and my 4 siblings (1 of the pregnancies was with me and my twin sister) turned out to be intelligent, contributing members of society. Oh and aside from me and my twin sister (we were 5 and 6 pounds each), all her childern were above 8 pounds when born.

I am feeling argumentative today , so I will say that Thing Two, I agree with your opinion and I would not say anything either, but what is the benefit of your anecdotal story about how your family is healthy despite your mom's smoking? Is it intended to show that smoking is ok during pregnancy? C'mon, you know anecdotes are meaningless in disproving a hypothesis. Of course there are exceptions to the rule. Some people smoke crack and their babies are ok too! Certainly that is not evidence that smoking crack is ok during pregnancy?

And just for the sake of argument, pointing out that you and your sibs have turned out well relative to some general norms is not the correct comparison to make to prove that smoking is harmless anyways. You have no idea what you and your sibs could have accomplished in life if your mom had not smoked For all you know, she stopped you from being a Nobel Prize winner or Olympic athlete because she smoked. Sure, you have managed to be successful by all normal standards, but that does not mean that her smoking was totally harmless. I am using hyperbole on purpose to make my point, which is that you do not have the correct comparison group to claim that smoking caused no harm in your family.

I just decided to pick on you because I know you can take it. But I really get irked by these types of statements when people are making arguments about health-related behaviours.

 

[Steel]

Re: Would you say something if you saw a pregnant woman smok

I understand why you felt the way you did, it can seem that some people don't know how lucky they are. But no, you don't have the right to say anything and you don't know her circumstances - not that they make much difference IMHO.

 

[Kismet]

Re: Would you say something if you saw a pregnant woman smok

What could you say really?

you: You know you shouldn't smoke while pregnant.
smoking pregnant lady: Yes.
you: All righty then, just checking.
or
you: *snatch ciggy out of her hand and run off*

 

[Mara]

Re: Would you say something if you saw a pregnant woman smok

nope I wouldn't. But seeing that is sad.

in Paris last year I saw a heavily pregnant woman on her smoke break with coworkers outside our office building.

my friend said... 'no wonder French men are short'. HA!

 

[TravelingGal]

Re: Would you say something if you saw a pregnant woman smok

What could you say really?

you: You know you shouldn't smoke while pregnant.
smoking pregnant lady: Yes.
you: All righty then, just checking.
or
you: *snatch ciggy out of her hand and run off*

If I was going to be so bold to say something that was none of my business (or at the very least, futile), I'd really go all out. Maybe throw stones at her or and shriek "baby killer!" or something.

Seriously though, I guess people weigh the risk and the benefit/pleasure it gives to them. I mean, should I say the same to someone eating a deli sandwich? Listeria is deadly. Or casual drinkers. Or sushi eaters.

But in our minds, it's obviously not the same thing. I'm not condoning smoking while pregnant because obviously smoking every day is not the same as eating a deli sandwich ones in a great while in terms of risk to the baby. But what if someone just had an occasional cig while pregnant? Are we so opposed because many thing cig smoking is nasty (compared to say, eating a turkey sandwich)?

I'm just musing outloud.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Re: Would you say something if you saw a pregnant woman smok

TGal hasn't the lysteria issue been grossly exaggerated? Like the whole soft cheese issue and sushi issues?

 

[TravelingGal]

Re: Would you say something if you saw a pregnant woman smok

TGal hasn't the lysteria issue been grossly exaggerated? Like the whole soft cheese issue and sushi issues?

Don't know...haven't read up on it in 2.5 years.

 

[random_thought]

Re: Would you say something if you saw a pregnant woman smok

I wouldn't have said anything. I had a friend who got pregnant and went from smoking a lot a day to occasionally having one. Her doctor actually told her it was safer to cut down gradually then to go cold turkey because it could shock her system or something like that. Maybe this woman's doctor told her the same thing, you never know someone's personal situation....

 

[Jennifer W]

Re: Would you say something if you saw a pregnant woman smok

Not my place to say anything, I would seriously doubt that I could have told her anything that was actual news, anyway. She already knows what I'm thinking, so what's the point? It's none of my business anyway.

One of my friends had the occasional cigarette while she was pregnant. She's a GP, so I assumed she had weighed up the risks. It made me uncomfortable, but I'm talking about maybe 4 cigarettes throughout her pregnancy. Really, I can't imagine she did any damage to her baby, but there's something about the cigarette that would raise hackles of the casual observer faster than a turkey sandwich or a soft whip icecream. Probably illogical.

Interestingly, she did say that if you smoke even a few cigarettes while pregnant, the placenta tends to be in worse shape by the end of the pregnancy than most. More ragged, and more blue than red. It's an organ, and deteriorates towards the end (if I'm understanding this correctly) but cigarettes hasten its deterioration a little.

I gave up smoking a long time before I was pregnant, and never really minded, but guess what my pregnancy craving was? Menthol cigarettes. I wanted to light a dozen at a time and smoke myself into a coma for the whole nine months (I resisted).

Jen

 

[charbie]

Re: Would you say something if you saw a pregnant woman smok

What could you say really?

you: You know you shouldn't smoke while pregnant.
smoking pregnant lady: Yes.
you: All righty then, just checking.
or
you: *snatch ciggy out of her hand and run off*

If I was going to be so bold to say something that was none of my business (or at the very least, futile), I'd really go all out. Maybe throw stones at her or and shriek "baby killer!" or something.

Seriously though, I guess people weigh the risk and the benefit/pleasure it gives to them. I mean, should I say the same to someone eating a deli sandwich? Listeria is deadly. Or casual drinkers. Or sushi eaters.

But in our minds, it's obviously not the same thing. I'm not condoning smoking while pregnant because obviously smoking every day is not the same as eating a deli sandwich ones in a great while in terms of risk to the baby. But what if someone just had an occasional cig while pregnant? Are we so opposed because many thing cig smoking is nasty (compared to say, eating a turkey sandwich)?

I'm just musing outloud.

I posted something similar that apparently was eateen by the internet. We are so quick to jump down someones throat for a cigarette, but yet a rare drink can be encouraged. Who is to say a cigarette is worse than sushi, hair dye, or pop with caffeine. I'm not condoing this at all...just saying that since we know cigarettes are bad for our overall health that we flog someone for smoking while pregnant yet can turn the blind eye to a glass of wine??
Interesting topic. And like t2, my mom smoked through 3 pregnancies and we were normal sized as well. Maybe I could have been smarter, faster, stronger...but I'm pretty happy with how I've turned out.

 

[Samantha Red]

Re: Would you say something if you saw a pregnant woman smok

It certainly is a strange one. I am sure my mum probably smoked when she was pregnant with me 44 years ago and it was probably no big deal then. I felt total revulsion seeing this woman but would never have said anything for the reasons described. I am overweight but wouldn't expect someone to tell me not to eat, even though I often feel uncomfortable eating in public

 

[Laila619]

Re: Would you say something if you saw a pregnant woman smok

As I drove home from work today I saw a heavily pregnant woman smoking as she walked along the street. I was very shocked and saddened as I can't have children and felt sad someone should have such apparent disregard for the life inside them. I wondered whether I would have commented had I not been in the car. What would you do?

I would be shocked and saddened too.

Saying something to these people is a waste of time though unfortunately.

 

[zoebartlett]

Re: Would you say something if you saw a pregnant woman smok

Well, unless she lives under a rock, she already KNOWS how bad smoking is. There wouldn't be any point in telling her that.

 

[lyra]

Re: Would you say something if you saw a pregnant woman smok

No, I wouldn't have said anything. Yes, my mom smoked while pregnant with me. The worst possible outcome was she got breast cancer at 40 and died of a second bout of lung cancer at 65. Her smoking deprived me of having her in my life.

 

[Pandora II]

Re: Would you say something if you saw a pregnant woman smok

I gave up smoking when I got pregnant with Daisy - it was pretty easy as the smell of cigarettes made me feel so sick that I didn't even miss them for more than the first few weeks. I had stopped once I started TTC - it wasn't like I went from 40 a day to zero the day I got the BFP!

I will confess to having the odd cigarette now though. I didn't touch them till after D was over a year, but then I was super stressed one day, can't have a drink because of my meds and was with a friend who smokes and geez was that cigarette nice. I never smoke in the house, only in totally open spaces - I have had a couple when I was out with Daisy in the pram and I went and hid so no-one could see me as I think it looks so awful and I felt so guilty.

I don't think saying anything is a good idea - she knows fine and her midwife and GP will be nagging her anyway.

 

[iheartscience]

Re: Would you say something if you saw a pregnant woman smok

Of course I wouldn't say anything. She's a grown woman and can do what she wants. What in the world do you think you would accomplish by saying something? I will never understand why perfect strangers feel they have the right to tell a grown woman what to do with her own body.

And not particularly scientific, but my mom smoked throughout all 4 of her pregnancies, and somehow me and my 4 siblings (1 of the pregnancies was with me and my twin sister) turned out to be intelligent, contributing members of society. Oh and aside from me and my twin sister (we were 5 and 6 pounds each), all her childern were above 8 pounds when born.

I am feeling argumentative today , so I will say that Thing Two, I agree with your opinion and I would not say anything either, but what is the benefit of your anecdotal story about how your family is healthy despite your mom's smoking? Is it intended to show that smoking is ok during pregnancy? C'mon, you know anecdotes are meaningless in disproving a hypothesis. Of course there are exceptions to the rule. Some people smoke crack and their babies are ok too! Certainly that is not evidence that smoking crack is ok during pregnancy?

And just for the sake of argument, pointing out that you and your sibs have turned out well relative to some general norms is not the correct comparison to make to prove that smoking is harmless anyways. You have no idea what you and your sibs could have accomplished in life if your mom had not smoked For all you know, she stopped you from being a Nobel Prize winner or Olympic athlete because she smoked. Sure, you have managed to be successful by all normal standards, but that does not mean that her smoking was totally harmless. I am using hyperbole on purpose to make my point, which is that you do not have the correct comparison group to claim that smoking caused no harm in your family.

I just decided to pick on you because I know you can take it. But I really get irked by these types of statements when people are making arguments about health-related behaviours.

And *that's* why I pointed out that it wasn't particularly scientific. And to prove your hyperbolic example wrong, I probably could have been an Olympic athlete if I wanted to-I was in the Olympic Development program for field hockey but decided to stop playing when I got to college because I wanted to have a normal college experience.

Oh and I was also in the gifted and talented program throughout school, scored in the 99th percentile on all standardized tests, and all all 4 of my siblings did also. So I guess all I have to say is...stick that in your pipe (or cigarette, as the case may be) and smoke it!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Re: Would you say something if you saw a pregnant woman smok

No, I wouldn't say anything unless I was a friend and had a relationship of trust with the person. I will say that years ago I knew a girl who had an unwanted pregnancy and apparently did not want to have an abortion but she gradually poisoned her baby by the things she ingested including smoking heavily. The baby eventually died before it reached full term. I've also seen children have bad asthma who had mothers who smoked during and after pregnancy. I don't understand this since I have never smoked, but I have been told that smoking is a very hard addiction for some people to overcome. Doesn't excuse it, though, in my book. Mothers should put the well-being of the child first.

 

[DivaDiamond007]

Re: Would you say something if you saw a pregnant woman smok

No, I wouldn't say anything unless I was a friend and had a relationship of trust with the person. I will say that years ago I knew a girl who had an unwanted pregnancy and apparently did not want to have an abortion but she gradually poisoned her baby by the things she ingested including smoking heavily. The baby eventually died before it reached full term. I've also seen children have bad asthma who had mothers who smoked during and after pregnancy. I don't understand this since I have never smoked, but I have been told that smoking is a very hard addiction for some people to overcome. Doesn't excuse it, though, in my book. Mothers should put the well-being of the child first.

Wow. I don't even know what to say about that woman. What a monster.

I would not have said anything to woman but I would give her the stink eye. That said, I have a 2 year old son, am currently pregnant and DH and I do not smoke. We do not allow people to smoke on our property or around our son.

 

[monarch64]

Re: Would you say something if you saw a pregnant woman smok

I would absolutely NOT say anything.

My personal opinions have absolutely no bearing on others.

Also, "heavily pregnant" means different things to different people. God forbid a woman was actually carrying some actual weight that didn't involve a child up front, so to speak , and someone assumed she was pregnant.

I am ALL FOR becoming healthy, maintaining health, and staying healthy before/during/after pregnancy. But it is NO ONE ELSE'S right to speak to a pregnant woman about her current state, whether it is "real" or assumed.

 

[Hera]

Re: Would you say something if you saw a pregnant woman smok

I would, because I like to think that if a person heard it from enough people maybe they would stop. I can only peak for the baby because noone else can.

I also think it would make me feel better knowing that I said something.

 

[VRBeauty]

Re: Would you say something if you saw a pregnant woman smok

As I drove home from work today I saw a heavily pregnant woman smoking as she walked along the street. I was very shocked and saddened as I can't have children and felt sad someone should have such apparent disregard for the life inside them. I wondered whether I would have commented had I not been in the car. What would you do?

Nothing.

I don't know what your story is so won't say I've been in your position. I can tell you that I went through a long period of grieving after I found out - unexpectedly and much too soon - that I would not be able to have children. For a long time it was hard not to look at a pregnant woman and think "why her, and not me?" But as we both know, it isn't as if there's a limited number of pregnancies to go around and the fact that she gets to have hers is somehow related to the fact that you do not get to have that experience. So cursing the choices she's making won't help your situation, and unless you're willing to march over to her and pull that cigarette out of her mouth, it probably won't help hers either.

I'm sorry for your loss and pain.

 

[monarch64]

Re: Would you say something if you saw a pregnant woman smok

I would, because I like to think that if a person heard it from enough people maybe they would stop. I can only peak for the baby because noone else can.

I also think it would make me feel better knowing that I said something.

The last line of your sentiment is what I am responding to. What could possibly make you feel better about troubling or messing with (for lack of being able to use other terms) another woman and her RIGHT to decide what's right for her body??? I implore you to provide answers to this question.

I am so sorry that any woman has to put up with this sort of nonsense. It really isn't fair that we still have to deal with this issue in the U.S., as well as the continent of Africa. Women in Africa are battered and then raped, and then forced to give birth, and in some cases made to live with maggots in their vaginas and give birth to children who aren't whole. Look it up.