Find your diamond
Find your jewelry
shape
carat
color
clarity

Would You Loan out Your Dress... ?Honestly...

Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.
Tybee

Tybee

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jul 26, 2004
Messages
1,602
I got married this summer, and my beautiful dress still hangs in its dress bag on the back of my door.
I haven''t wanted to have it preserved and locked up just yet. I really love it so much more than I thougth I ever could.
Anyhow, that being said, I know I''ll never wear it again.

I have a younger friend who is getting married this summer. She and I have similar builds. She hasn''t been able
to find the dress of her dreams, and I let her try on my dress a few months ago.

She called me yesterday to ask whether or not I''d feel comfortable letting her borrow it for her wedding... or perhaps selling it to her.
I don''t think I''d sell it to her, because I''d hate to not have it anymore, but lending it to her seemed like a nice thing to do.
Probably no one from her guest list was at my wedding except maybe two or three people (if that... we had a small destination wedding.)
Anyhow, I mentioned it to another friend (one of my bridesmaids) who is getting married soon as well... and she said that she would NEVER lend her dress out. Now I''m not sure where my brain is...
What would you do?

Tybee

Here''s my lovely Maggie Sottero (Ophelia.)

dressatthebeach.jpg
 
I honestly probably would if I''d already worn it, but I wouldnt sell it to her b/c I''d want to keep it. I''d figure that at least someone can wear it again since I wont be. As long as she pays to have it cleaned afterwards.
 
I would lend it out, but I don''t plan on keeping my dress after the wedding, so I have a different outlook on the whole thing.
 
I''m not that attached to my dress ... probably because it was the last minute replacement dealie & not very expensive ... so my only concern would be if there were a lot of cross over people who would see pictures of us both in the same dress - not to mention the day of "Hey! That''s XXX''s dress." Or WORSE - comparisons! XXX looked so much better/worse blah blah blah!.
23.gif


If there wasn''t much crossover - I''d be fine .. flattered actually! I already offered to loan my shrug sweater dealie to JCROW & I don''t even "know" her!
3.gif


But I would consider worst case scenarios if you were planning to keep/preserve etc the dress. What if it came back torn or stained etc? Would she pay for cleaning & repair? Are you hoping for future children -- passing along the dress? My sister actually wore a revamped version of my Mom''s dress - that''s why I ask ...

If you''re *totally* okay with it = go for it. If not, you shouldn''t feel guilty. It''s your dress, your memories etc. You can always tell her the style etc & let her order a brand new one. (Or other pre=owned one if she''s lucky!)
 
Good thoughts all.
We''re not planning on having kids... I''m 38, a very old bride indeed!
I think Deco kind of hit it on the head, and I guess I''m ashamed of myself, but I wonder if she''ll look better in it than I did!
Silly, right?
Thank goodness of anonymous forums to post your insecurities!
She''s a lovely girl, and deep in my heart I feel honored, there''s just that little insecure devil in me that doesn''t want her to outshine me.
Ahhhh, it always feels better after confessing.
That being said, I''m pretty sure that I''d lend it to her. She would have it cleaned, etc. after wearing it.
I do feel somewhat honored, actually...
 
Hey Tybee, since you''re into lending your STUNNING dress, could I borrow it too? I''m already married, but I just want to wear that gorgeous sucker for a night!!
2.gif


Seriously, I don''t think you need to worry about anyone looking better in your dress than you did. Yours is still my all-time favorite dress here on PS, and you looked just *perfect* in it. That someone would want to borrow your dress is a huge compliment, and if any friend wanted to borrow mine, I''d let her in a heartbeat -- again, with the condition that I get it back afterwards!
 
Personally I would have no problem doing so.

i think it would be wonderful to be able to assist a friend in that way,

but it could depend on how close you are- i mean, you mention you want to be able to keep the gown, so i would sit down with her and go over all of your expectations up front (she has it cleaned, etc.) that way there is less risk of a misunderstanding (i.e.she thinks you are "giving" her the dress) that could be ugly to straighten out.
 
You seemed like you were comfortable with it - until your friend said she''d never lend hers out.
Listen to your heart and do what you''re comfortable with.

Scintillating...
 
I''m not very sentimental about my dress, so I probably would. It''s a nice thing you can do for a friend and she will save a lot of money. However, I would make sure that you are comfortable with it perhaps coming back with a stain on it or something, because that kind of stuff happens...

Also, I would set some ground rules of what both of you expect as far as cleaning, alterations, return conditions, etc.
 
Thank all!
Don''t know why I let my head get in the way of all that.
Looks like I''ll take all of your advice,lend her the dress, ask her to have it cleaned, etc.! So thanks!

And thanks Ellaila, you made me feel really great, I think I needed that boost today
17.gif

You could borrow my dress any day!

Tybee
 
i agree, i would definately lend it out. How cool that your wedding dress is your good friends ''something borrowed''. I think the only time it would be awkward is if there was tension between say you and a fsil and she wanted to wear it. But a friend.... I take that as a huge compliment!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
i''m not really superstitious but hey...you never know. there''s a saying that goes...good luck to lendee but bad luck to the lender of wedding dress. take it as you may
 
I would, but I''m probably not going to keep it.
 
ah I''m on the fence about this one...I plan on keeping my wedding dress and I think it will have a big sentimental value to me etc so I honestly don''t know what I''d say to a friend who would ask.

It is a HUGE compliment that she would ask to borrow it though!
 
Hmmm... I would have no problem with the sentimental side of things, but "she better not look better in it than I did" might cross my mind!
31.gif
I think it really depends on the friend for me... if it were somebody who wouldn't have much guest-overlap, wasn't weird and competitive about things, and had a $$ need for it... I'd probably do it. If it were someone from my hometown of a certain copycat personality type (meaning just wanted that particular dress because I'D worn it), probably not.

I don't know what I'll do with my dress after I wear it... I actually thought about getting it cut down into something tea-length and dyed, so that I could rewear it every year out to dinner on our anniversary.
30.gif
FI thought that was horrible though and that it would be sacriligious to "destroy" the dress.... I think he's more sentimental than I am.
2.gif
 
Date: 11/12/2006 12:32:10 PM
Author: Tybee
She''s a lovely girl, and deep in my heart I feel honored, there''s just that little insecure devil in me that doesn''t want her to outshine me. Ahhhh, it always feels better after confessing.
Click to expand...
Eeek! I didn''t mean to "out" you! Honestly! I was just pondering how *I* might feel. But SERIOUSLY ... there''s no way to "outshine" you -- no matter how lovely she is. YOU WERE FIERCE-GOREGOUS! And BEAMING!

*Really thinking about it* ... I''d bet she''d look totally different in the dress than you did. Ya know, how when you see diffrent brides in the same (or similar) dresses on the Knot -- everyone has their own spin -- skintone, veil, accessories, flowers, hair etc.

Also -- if it''s not at the beach, it''ll be a whole different more formal feel.

Anyhoo - super flattering! Either way!
 
I'm not sure... I would want to, but then again, I paid thousands of dollars for the dress and it's WHITE. If it were some other colored fancy gown, I'd say SURE!
But being white satin, it'll probably be ruined after two weddings. Stains, train being dragged around... God knows what else! And I would want to preserve it for my future daughter (though she will probably laugh and think it's outdated by then!).

I don't know. It's too new to me to lend it out right now, but maybe 3-5 years down the road, I would say yes!

Here's a flip side question:
Say during the ceremony, they realize they FORGOT their wedding rings! Would you let them use yours for the ceremony?
 
Tybee, your dress is so lovely and you looked fantastic in it...it is very sweet you are considering loaning it out.

I myself don''t care about dresses and would certainly loan out the $50 rag I wore. HOWEVER...

If I were like some here who really adored the whole dress process and placed importance on the dress, I may think differently. Ask yourself how you would feel if the dress came back in less than pristine condition due to some unforeseen accident. Would that impact how you felt about your friend? Would you just think, oh well, sh*t happens, or would you feel a bit of bitterness and regret?

If it''s the later, I may not chance it. YOU managed to work and find a dress that you love, I sort of think that she should too.
 
First off, I think that is so sweet of you to consider lending your dress to a friend. And it''s a great compliment that she would like to wear it at her wedding. As for me, I would let a friend wear my dress because I personally think it''s lovely and would like to see someone I love enjoying the dress as much as I did!

*M*
 
Hi Tybee! You look beautiful in that dress! I was just thinking that if you don''t want to lend it out for fear of it getting ruined, you could help your friend look for a secondhand Ophelia. It would save her at least half the price of the original. If you just type in "preowned wedding gown" into a google search, you''ll find links to many reputable forums.

I personally don''t place much significance or sentimental value on a wedding gown, but I can understand why you wouldn''t want to lend it out. I certainly don''t think you should feel uncomfortable saying "no" to your friend. You''re allowed to have your reasons (whatever they may be) and you don''t have to justify yourself. Different things are valued differently by each person.
 
I would lend it to her...she must really like it if she has tried on a bunch of others and cooked up the nerve to ask to borrow it (not something every bride "dreams of" doing)...I think lending it would be a nice compliment to you and add a little more history to the dress...

It doesn''t make any less special to you...
 
I can see both sides...but since you wore it and are not likely to have the same people and it has been awhile, it might be great. Loan, not sell, and have her clean it at the cleaner of your choice who specializes in wedding gowns and high end things. I think it is a lovely thing for you to consider....
 
if your initial thought was to let her borrow the dress, don''t let someone else who wouldn''t do it sway what your impulse was. it''s your dress, who cares what anyone else would do?

if she is your good friend and you would trust her with the dress, then i say yes. just get it cleaned and preserved after her wedding. i would probably not let anyone else borrow my dress because it''s already been cleaned and preserved and is in the closet for good basically, but i would imagine if a very good friend of mine wanted to borrow the dress before i had done all that, i probably would have said sure. and actually who knows, if a very good friend of mine really wanted to wear mine now, i might break it out for her and then just have her preserve it for me after again or something.

the one thing i would say is keep in mind that something COULD happen to the dress if you lend it out to her. aka a red wine spill or a train tear or something might happen during her wearing of the dress, even if she is very careful etc. so if you are fine with that...and potentially having to have to deal with something like that, then cool.

i personally LOVE your dress tybee so i can see why someone would want to borrow it. it is SO up my alley with it''s classic simplicity and it''s one of my top 5 dresses on here.
 
Your post made me think of my mom''s engagement dress borrowed from her cousins'' family. It''s a pale pink number, empire waist. Her three sisters also wore this dress to their engagement parties, her two female cousins wore it, her 3 male cousins'' brides wore it too.
Now that''s good mileage!
 
LOL. I asked my mom and she asked, "How good a friend is she?"

I didn''t think of that... I was thinking just a friend as in slightly more than an acquaintance. Then I''d be torn.
But if she were a very close friend, I would say yes. Close gfs are like sisters.
 
Thanks all for your thoughts and comments.
I will proudly lend her my dress (if she still wants it after trying it on again.)
Once again... your help has been amazing!
Thanks Pricescope!
 
I would if it was someone I felt close to, I wouldn''t if it was just an acquaintance.
 
I think lending a dress is personal preference. I would have no problem lending mine to a friend and I think it would be neat and special to share that.
 
I would totally lend my dress to a friend -- and tybee -- though your friend is going to look lovely in your dress (who couldn''t) she certainly will NOT outshine you! you were gorgeous! just gorgeous!!

on the flip side, however, i don''t think i would ever ask to borrow a dress. i would be too nervous that i''d rip, stain, ruin, etc and wouldn''t want that hanging over me on my wedding day...
 
Sorry i''m chiming in late. I see that you''re moving forward with loaning your friend your dress.

I would do the same! Honestly, I''d be honored that someone would think so highly of my dress and would want to wear it. Please let us know how it turns out.

BTW- I LOVE your dress! It''s one of my PS-favorites.
36.gif
 
Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.
GET 3 FREE HCA RESULTS JOIN THE FORUM. ASK FOR HELP
Jewelry Blog
PriceScope-Concierge-Ad
Find prime cuts.
Top