Work vent

[doxielover]

Hi all,
So I don''t post much here, but I lurk daily. I''ve already talked to my husband but I''m still feeling so angry inside I figured this might be theraputic. Here goes:
Background - We have a fairly new manager at work, there''s three of us that report to her. In the beginning she was super nice, friendly, motivating, etc. Over the last couple of weeks she has become more critical, and I just noticed a change in her personality (I''m not the only one who''s noticed). Well today she gets a phone call and shuts her door. It was the end of day so it was only me and another coworker left. She was talking fairly loudly and I could hear her totally talking smack about us - did the person she was talking to just think we were lazy, how we would never survive the office she came from, etc. I know I wasn''t meant to hear all this, but I did and it hurt.
Well thanks for letting me vent, I do feel a little better.

 

[somethingshiny]

That is inappropriate work behavior. Those calls which are *personal* should be taken at HOME.

I would report her to your HR office. That''s a hostile work environment.

Glad you feel better after venting a little.

 

[redfaerythinker]

Oh my... i''m so sorry that you have to deal with that. I agree that what she is doing is totally inappropriate. However, I would only complain to HR if you could be sure of total anonymity. If she ever found out that you ratted her out then life would suck a lot more.

 

[oobiecoo]

Man that sucks... I''d let someone know anonymously.

 

[arjunajane]

I can really sympathize, I''m sorry you''re having to put up with that.

My work recently (about 6-8 weeks ago) got a new mgr. I knew I didn''t really get along with the old one, but I hadn''t really acknowledged how much until now. It is incredible what a difference things are at work with this new mgr.
There were some days I called in sick mainy because I couldn''t face to deal with her. There is another girl that had the same issues (so I''m not just being a PITA, lol )

My old one sounds like yours, kinda passive-aggressive, false nice *gag*..

I agree that you should say something to HR, but only if you''re garaunteed anonimity.

 

[CJ2008]

Wow, that''s pretty tough to deal with...

Would you consider asking her, in a few weeks from now, for a meeting to review how you''re doing, whether you''re meeting the objectives for the job, etc.? It forces her to be straightforward and specific, and if there is anything you need to work on, it will give you a chance to work on it (it''s what she should be doing if she truly felt performance was subpar). If there''s nothing, and she says you''re doing great, I would try to have these regular meetings with her so that you put her on the spot to do her job, and I would try to have those meetings documented somehow, even if it''s just via a short follow-up email from you acknowledging and thanking her for the feedback, that you''re glad you''re meeting objectives, etc.

 

[April20]

I''m really sorry you are going thru this. Her behavior is unprofessional and in my opinion, unacceptable. I''ve seen similar happen before and I''ve got three words for you. Document, document, document. Make sure you build a clear picture of what you have accomplished, feedback from others you work with, etc. Come review time, you want to be prepared. There may be some very specific things that you do need to work on and your manager should be able to provide you with specific examples. In the event that you feel that the review is unfair, just make sure you are prepared to present your documentation.

I would not report her at this point. Even if it''s anonymous, she''ll know where it came from and it may make things worse. Wait a bit- people will generally sink themselves. I would, however, have a conversation if your review ends up being unfair and causes damage. At that point the gloves are off.

 

[purrfectpear]

Date: 12/16/2008 10:46:37 PM
Author: somethingshiny
That is inappropriate work behavior. Those calls which are *personal* should be taken at HOME.

I would report her to your HR office. That''s a hostile work environment.

Glad you feel better after venting a little.

That''s some pretty bad advice IMO.

First of all she''s a manager and she is only required to shut her door to have a private phone call. The fact that she could be heard in spite of that is certainly NOT a reportable offense.

Secondly, who knows that it was a personal call? She could have been talking to another manager.

While it''s unfortunate that the call was overheard, the manager has done nothing wrong. Hostile is when they complain about you in front of you, not when it''s behind a closed door.

I agree with documenting your accomplishments and trying to see if you can get her to open up as to your specific performance and her expectations.

 

[dragonfly411]

Doxie - I''m sorry that happened to you. I''ve had similar things happen and it hurts, and is inappropriate, and it stinks to think that someone you thought you had no issues with would talk about you behind your back. HUGS, I hope you feel better, and settle the whole thing

 

[perry]

Some people can only make themselves look good by making others look bad. When they are your supervisor or manager it creates real problems that you are unlikely to win.

Figure out what you''re good at.... and find another job (or transfer to another department).


Perry

 

[doxielover]

Thanks for all the suggestions. I did have my annual review not long ago and it was good. It seems like it just been within the past couple of weeks her attitude has changed, the two other people on my team have noticed a change in her too. I think I''ll just see how it goes for the next couple of weeks. Thanks again.