Work/Life Balance?

[purelily]

How do you maintain a healthy work/life balance in your relationship?

I graduated from law school last year and just recently passsed my bar. Although I started working in marketing, I would like to get back to what I enjoy doing-- being an advocate. I am hoping to work as an attorney (or paralegal since the job market is so bad right now) helping others.

I recently had an interview for an attorney position (which I did not receive). During the interview, the firm made it (sort of) clear that it would be difficult to maintain a work/life balance. I know as an associate, it may be difficult to maintain this balance as there will be many long hours.

This got me to thinking, not only how would you maintain a healthy work/life balance, but also would you avoid positions that do not offer this option? Or, if you were in my position and just want *any* position, would you just take anything even though it would cut into your time with your SO?

 

[misskitty]

Work/life balance is HUGE for me. Right now, I''m not doing it very well, because school tends to eat up a lot of my time, especially in the evenings, but when I finish, I''m going to make that a priority.

There are certain companies I pretty much won''t even consider working for, because they don''t even try to hide the fact that they work their people to the bone. I have friends who have had to deal with 90+ hour work weeks during a crunch (sometimes for months on end), and the consequences aren''t pretty -- they lost a ton of weight, got sick often, and their relationships suffered. Needless to say, that is Not. For. Me.

That said, for the right job, I wouldn''t mind putting in some extra work...just nothing overboard. Once it starts to cut into my personal life and/or physical health, I draw the line.

 

[purelily]

Hi MissKitty,

Thank you for replying! I was thinking along the same lines too...although, I have a problem with work/life balance. I love working so my line of working/life blurs.

I think you have a really good way of looking at it ETA: (and you're right, chool is quite difficult to maintain a balance). thank you for the input about your friends.

Also, I just wanted to say I LOVE YOUR PUG!!! SOOOO CUTE!!

 

[misskitty]

Thanks for the compliment on the pug

I totally get what you mean about blurring work into your life because you enjoy it so much -- I really hope I end up in a career that I love enough that I''m not counting down the clock to leave every day.

 

[purselover]

Hi Purelily, for me I love that with my job I''m home everyday by 6pm, but SO is in law school, and we know when he graduates he will be at a firm working those crazy 60+ hour weeks. For us that works, even now he works a ton for school, and at his summer position, I think it works because b/c I''m pretty independant I don''t mind having a lot of time to myself, especially because I know how important his career is to him. It tends to make the time we have together more valuable and it makes us more appreciative of that time. While I think it''s hard to maintain a good balance it''s possible especially if you guys are supportive of each other. I think if you really want to be an attorney you should go for it, even if it means you have less time for your bf.

 

[lucyandroger]

If you have the opportunity to be picky in this market, then more power to you! Otherwise, I''d be happy to get any decent paying job as an attorney. If you wait too long after graduating, it will be difficult to get into the legal world. Yes, work/life balance sucks but don''t you have to pay your dues in any profession? My BF and I both work at large firms...it''s tough for sure but we know that in a few years we can leave with loans paid off, a nice house, and a great resume.

ETA - Congrats on passing the bar!

 

[misskitty]

Date: 7/20/2009 9:50:17 AM
Author: lucyandroger
If you have the opportunity to be picky in this market, then more power to you! Otherwise, I''d be happy to get any decent paying job as an attorney. If you wait too long after graduating, it will be difficult to get into the legal world. Yes, work/life balance sucks but don''t you have to pay your dues in any profession? My BF and I both work at large firms...it''s tough for sure but we know that in a few years we can leave with loans paid off, a nice house, and a great resume.


ETA - Congrats on passing the bar!

This is a good point. I''m definitely not speaking about the legal field in my post above -- I know you guys have to pay an entirely different set of dues than I will in my profession. For me, things like crunch time and long hours are trade-offs for working in a more exciting job (versus potentially not having a job).

 

[purelily]

ETA PurseLover Thank you for your input Its true.. i'll have to sacrifice if I want to be an attorney. Oh, and good luck to your SO in law school its rough, but since you're so supportive i'm sure he'll do great! My SO works 60 hours a week more if theres a big project. We were seriously thinking of having a family, but I guess that may not be an option any time soon if both our schedules are crazy... :-/

LucyandRoger I'm not picky at all, actually. Right now, I will work in anything, but I'd prefer to work in a non-profit or legal aid society. I didn't have the grades for BigLaw even though I studied my butt off (long story) so I'm not even applying to those. I do have a pretty solid resume though, I worked at various law firms/government agencies during law school. I could have worked where i came from originally, but decided to give it all up so i could move to where my SO is. He has a great job and I was willing to sacrifice to be with him. I'm hoping my resume will help a bit.

You are right, though, when you wait too long it is hard to find a legal job. But, when I just passed my bar we were at the height of the recession and there were no legal jobs open so I am applying as a paralegal and pro-bono positions. (oh, and although a decent paying law job would be nice, I'm not even picky about that )

Just out of curiosity, how do you maintain your work/life balance in big law? My friends are in it now and tell me its very difficult. Do you have any tips?

 

[LilyKat]

Purelily, I'm a doctor and my best friend is a lawyer. I could NOT work the hours she does. My job is demanding but I still get to have a home life and balance, which I need. She thinks nothing of working 14 hour days - every day - with long commutes too. She earns more than me, but I wouldn't swap places for sure.

Work/life balance would definitely be a priority in choosing a job for me. However, I would do my own research into what each job actually involves - sometimes the "are you prepared to have very little work/life balance" card is played at job interviews to put off those who are looking for an easy time. Talk to people doing the job and working for the company to get a realistic idea.

ETA: My friend in Big Law actually maintains a pretty reasonable balance because she has a lot of energy, so will use her free weekends to see friends and do things that she enjoys. She plans ahead and keeps in touch with her friends by email and quick calls. A lot of it depends on what sort of person you are and how energetic you tend to be. Me = not very.

 

[purelily]

Hi LilyKat,

Thank you for your response I always thought doctors had less balance than lawyers my father definitely has no time usually. (surgeon).

I''m okay with no time for myself, but I just am really interested in how people maintain their relationships with such busy schedules -- especially if both have extremely busy schedules.

 

[lucyandroger]

Hi Purelily,

It has definitely been HARD with us both working in big law. For us, the key is reminding ourselves that it won''t be forever. You have to be a certain type of person to stay in a law firm for the long haul and the BF and I just aren''t that type.

As far as day-to-day, you have to take your time where you can get it. My BF and I commute together so that gives us an extra hour together each day. Some days we meet for lunch if we know that the evening is going to be busy and other days we work through lunch to get home in time for a nice dinner. You definitely have to stay flexible.

The reality is that this lifestyle is not sustainable for us for the long term, especially since we want to have kids in the not-too-distant future.

I think it''s a great idea to look into doing some pro bono work - that can get your foot in the door and make sure that you don''t look like you''ve been out of the legal market. The reality is though that legal aid societies and non-profit jobs can actually be as competitive as big law jobs, especially in this market. If I were you, I would apply anywhere and everywhere and see what opportunities present themselves. Nowadays people switch jobs frequently and it''s always easier to find a job when you already have one.

 

[kittybean]

Purelily, congratulations on passing the bar!

The reality in the legal field is that sometimes, there will be no such thing as work-life balance. With the job market the way it is, I would absolutely not avoid any sort of work. It is much, much better for your resume to be working at any legal position than it is to be waiting for the right one. Especially as a firm associate--but also as a public interest, government, or in-house attorney--there will be times when you work much more than 40 hours a week. There might also be times when you don''t. I work in public interest, and there are times when I am at work until 10 pm or later just trying to get to the million things that need my attention. Other times, I get to take a long lunch and be out the door at 4:30. You have to be prepared for both, especially if you''re planning on being in litigation.

If I were in your position, I would absolutely take any position you can grab right now, despite the time it might take away from your SO. Now is the time to get some experience under your belt, build your resume, and begin your career on the right track. I''m not sure if you have a family yet, but if you don''t, take this time to really throw yourself into your career before children come along. Regardless of what any employer may say about "work-life balance," being a new mom with a career is hard. (If you''re a mom already, feel free to ignore what I''ve said since I''m sure you''d know firsthand!)

Best of luck with your job search--I hope you find something that works well for you!

 

[purelily]

LucyandRoger Thank you for the advice Yes, I think pro bono will probably be the best option for me right now as I haven''t been able to find *any* legal positions. Although, I have an interview for a paralegal position which I am quite excited about Not sure how this will help me in the long run if i ever want to be an attorney. The lunch thing sounds good and I''m happy you and your SO have found a way to meet each other in the middle. I''m afraid it wouldn''t be that way for us though... he works really crazy hours. But, i''ve been thinking, this may be good so I can also work crazy hours too!

KittyBean Thank you also for replying. Off topic but you have a Beautiful wedding!!! and you were absolutely gorgeous. Yes, I am looking to take any job right now. You''re right, a family at this time can wait. Its most important to get my career off the ground in any position I can. The job market here doesn''t seem to be looking up, but I''m still praying that the right (or any) job will come along some time soon. I currently have a job which helps me barely squeak by for now, but I"m hoping that things will look up in the legal field very soon.

 

[lucyandroger]

Date: 7/20/2009 10:13:42 PM
Author: purelily
LucyandRoger Thank you for the advice Yes, I think pro bono will probably be the best option for me right now as I haven''t been able to find *any* legal positions. Although, I have an interview for a paralegal position which I am quite excited about Not sure how this will help me in the long run if i ever want to be an attorney. The lunch thing sounds good and I''m happy you and your SO have found a way to meet each other in the middle. I''m afraid it wouldn''t be that way for us though... he works really crazy hours. But, i''ve been thinking, this may be good so I can also work crazy hours too!


KittyBean Thank you also for replying. Off topic but you have a Beautiful wedding!!! and you were absolutely gorgeous. Yes, I am looking to take any job right now. You''re right, a family at this time can wait. Its most important to get my career off the ground in any position I can. The job market here doesn''t seem to be looking up, but I''m still praying that the right (or any) job will come along some time soon. I currently have a job which helps me barely squeak by for now, but I''m hoping that things will look up in the legal field very soon.

Purelily, Good luck with the interview! Sending lots of dust your way! I think that when you''re interviewing for attorney postions, *everyone* will understand that it''s a rough economy and you have to get work where you can find it, so don''t worry about the paralegal thing. Plus, it shows that you want to be involved with the law in any way you can.

 

[purelily]

Hi lucyandroger Thank you for the dust! I really need it! I''m quite excited about this position Also, i can''t thank you enough for all the advice!

 

[kittybean]

Date: 7/20/2009 10:13:42 PM
Author: purelily

KittyBean Thank you also for replying. Off topic but you have a Beautiful wedding!!! and you were absolutely gorgeous. Yes, I am looking to take any job right now. You''re right, a family at this time can wait. Its most important to get my career off the ground in any position I can. The job market here doesn''t seem to be looking up, but I''m still praying that the right (or any) job will come along some time soon. I currently have a job which helps me barely squeak by for now, but I''m hoping that things will look up in the legal field very soon.

Thank you so much for the kind words about my wedding, Purelily!

I hope things look up in the legal field soon, too, and I really hope that a wonderful job is just waiting out there for you. If you haven''t already, I''d try exhausting every connection you can to legal jobs, even the most tenuous. I was surprised how helpful people (even those I didn''t know very well) were to me when I was looking for internships, summer associate positions, and eventually my current job. Exploit any sort of "in" you have, and ask your friends to keep their eyes and ears open for any opportunity they might come across. Just curious--what kind of law are you interested in?

Lots of job dust to you!

 

[purelily]

Kittybean I was so taken with your wedding pictures I dragged my half sleeping SO to check them out I loved the orchids. So, I may have to steal some of your orchid ideas when we are finally planning our wedding. (we''ve already decided on Hawaii where i''m from)

As for the question about law, I am actually quite open to anything. I really want to do something fulfilling though and I find that working in litigation definitely makes my heart beat faster and gets me excited, but I''d be willing to work in any other area for a while. I worked as a law clerk at a prosecutors office and loved it. I really enjoyed being an advocate, but then I worked in criminal defense and loved that too. I''ve also been looking into employment/immigration law since I also clerked for the civil rights compliance office. Then, I have an interest in Medical defense.. If I were back home, I would have less of a problem. but when you move to a new state connections are difficult to make. I thought the best way to start getting out there is to do pro bono work, but even that seems to have a lot of applicants (which i think is really awesome! there should be more attorneys doing pro bono!).

So, I''m looking into whatever is open. I''ve been seriously thinking of going back to school for an LLM to wait out the recession, but Yikes! more student loans! Thank you so much for the dust and taking the time to give me advice. It is very much appreciated!