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With trading up engagement ring stone

pyramid

Ideal_Rock
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With trading up engagement ring stone, do you ever REALLY feel it is YOURS?

Will you look back someday at age 60 say and think well my engagement ring is only 3 years old and is that different
from looking back (in a long marriage) and recognising that you have had your stone/diamond for 40 years?

Yes the diamond may be bigger or more expensive but is it really yours or just a monetary possession?

Does your circle of friends all do the same and if they don't do you feel your diamond is the new one all the time and not
a part of who you are, meaning just you and not you and your husband, although do you see it as that too?

Also is too much time in your life taken up with getting another diamond rather than enjoying other things more relaxing?
 

Snowdrop13

Brilliant_Rock
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Aug 27, 2011
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1,857
Interesting questions! I wonder how many people, outside of Pricescope actually do upgrade though? I don't know anyone personally who has done so, and I know I never would. It's just something about the meaning of the ring for me, it will always represent the commitment given at the time. I have bought other rings since but wear them on my right hand. Don't get me wrong, I can totally see why some would do an upgrade, it's just not for me!
 

Arcadian

Ideal_Rock
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Sep 17, 2008
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7,025
I never got an engagement ring so I guess I don't count :lol: What counts to me is the person you're with. I have nearly 16 years of stored memories with him, none of it tied to jewelry (some of it tied to our tandem jump from an airplane :shock: )

But I think lots of people never upgrade. The demographic on pricescope its way different from what happens outside of it. Coincidentally, my mother also never had an engagement ring. My parents keep their wedding rings on their key chains. They may not be able to wear them but they refuse to mess with them. They've been married nearly 51 years.
 

PintoBean

Ideal_Rock
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As time goes by my priorities have shifted. 7 years ago it was very important to me to have OUR stone. I still have it and consider it my primary e-ring (the avatar). Now my interest in bling is waning while my interest in retiring young by all means is waxing.

i have a complicated history of e-rings. We started with moms stone in a setting we selected. When we bought the yellow stone, mom took back her stone and set in a pendant. She felt bad for the lonely setting and bought us the biggest stone that would fit in the prongs (slight upgrade from her 5/8 to 0.78 ct). My yellow stone had a setting upgrade. I bought my mom bgd studs she didn't wear and I had a bgd pendant I wasn't wearing so I traded them in for a quadex, which I then upgraded 2x with bg Blues. The only reason trading in happened was bc no one was wearing the jewelry and I had the two other rings. I then bought the brown pink stone, the EC and the pollo MRB. Mom told me not to sell back the bg blue because of the % loss.... I'm a mess :wall: :lol:

My friends in real life are one and done with their rings. They wear them every day and don't clean them.
 

yssie

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Aug 14, 2009
Messages
20,521
Pyramid|1475995743|4084975 said:
With trading up engagement ring stone, do you ever REALLY feel it is YOURS?

Yes the diamond may be bigger or more expensive but is it really yours or just a monetary possession?
Of course it's mine :)) just like all my other material possessions acquired via monetary exchange are mine ::)
 

daintyG

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 23, 2011
Messages
571
My original ER wasn't especially expensive to begin with. I will always keep it and wear it occasionally because of its sentimental value. Also, I love it. I'm not a One Ring to Rule Them All gal. I prefer having several smaller rings I can wear interchangeably that don't take very long to save for. ATM, I have three rings plus a loose diamond. One of them was a trade up, but I didn't trade my ER stone for it.
 

redwood66

Ideal_Rock
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Aug 22, 2012
Messages
7,008
We were poor and my ring was also not expensive. The setting was a terrible idea though for someone working the job I had. Small marquise side stones with only two prongs and a .33ct center. I had them all reset into a band a couple years ago and I wear it happily after it sat for 20 years in the box. My 25th anniversary upgrade is worn on the left hand and I can wear the original stones on my right! Best of both worlds. I would never want to get rid of my original stones because they mean the world to me and are a part of our history together.
 

acaw2015

Brilliant_Rock
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Jun 30, 2015
Messages
763
I dont have any issues with changing/upgrading the engagement and/or wedding ring at all. I think there is a strong symbolism in wearing rings on that specific finger, but I see no symbolism in the rings themselves. The rings are simply materialistic things that can be changed. I have never changed mine though because I like them, but I would have absolutely no hesitation doing so if I wanted to. I would never *not* wear rings on that finger though and would be a little worried if my husband stopped wearing his ring (without good reason). :wink2:
:wavey:
 

novicebuyer

Rough_Rock
Joined
May 28, 2008
Messages
23
I had the diamond in my original engagement ring recut by BGD and placed in a pendant which I wear frequently, much to my husband's delight. We were penniless students who knew nothing about diamonds when the ring was purchased. My upgraded engagement ring acquired 30 years into the marriage makes me happy. My husband wanted to buy me a nice gift,
and I thought a diamond ring I would wear daily was the best choice. I still wear the plain gold wedding band purchased for $15 38 years ago. I would never replace the band.
 

Marquise_Madness

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Feb 28, 2016
Messages
292
I'm really sentimental, and I'm also newly engaged so of course I consider my ring my forever ring. I may eventually add an eternity ring to the stack or a right hand ring, but I see my engagement ring as my engagement ring. Even if down the road I don't wear it daily.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

LawmaLlama

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Apr 19, 2016
Messages
376
I'm working on an upgrade with GOG out of necessity (sort of).
My original EC was cracked by a cruddy jeweler, and we ended up with an acceptable replacement EC after much haggling. The replacement stone is nice, but I just didn't want to look down at it everyday and think of the time that crappy jeweler cracked the EC my hubby gave me when we were young and so in love. The jeweler didn't play fair in negotiations, and I just didn't want to associate the replacement with my engagement. It just felt like bad ju-ju to me. So, rather than reset it in my original engagement ring setting, I made a new RHR. And my sweet hubby happily gave me the thumbs up to get an upgrade of my choice this go round. :dance: :dance:
 

Marquise_Madness

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Feb 28, 2016
Messages
292
Snowdrop13 said:
Interesting questions! I wonder how many people, outside of Pricescope actually do upgrade though? I don't know anyone personally who has done so, and I know I never would. It's just something about the meaning of the ring for me, it will always represent the commitment given at the time. I have bought other rings since but wear them on my right hand. Don't get me wrong, I can totally see why some would do an upgrade, it's just not for me!
My mom doesn't do PS and she upgraded her ring!



She has this marquise .7 ct before (1989)

And now has an over 1 ct, almost 2 ct princess (upgraded in 2003)



And a right hand ring (5- 1/2 ct cushion cut stones)


I now have the original marquise and have it set into my engagement ring, which my fiancé proposed to me with!
 

marcy

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Feb 27, 2007
Messages
23,757
I have my original .15 ct in a pendant. We got me a .50 carat ering which I then upgraded 3 times. No regrets.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk HD
 

AdaBeta27

Brilliant_Rock
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Sep 7, 2004
Messages
906
Where I live, I think the "upgrade" isn't very common. What does happen is that, if she's lucky ;-) the woman gets a second, larger diamond ring for some milestone anniversary like 25 or more. She keeps the original ring. In many cases, this town being what it is (small and not affluent), the woman might keep on wearing her small diamond e-ring / wedding set daily around town, and save her large diamond for special occasions or country club or family get-together, Shrine or K.O.C functions, etc., where she's not in contact with the general public. In small towns around here, for safety reasons it's best to not make a target of yourself, especially if you are older and / or live alone or it's just the two of you.
 

LawmaLlama

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Apr 19, 2016
Messages
376
@Marquise Madness
I love the east-west reset of your mom's stone! So nice to have that sentimental attachment for your ring.
 

Marquise_Madness

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Feb 28, 2016
Messages
292
LawmaLlama said:
@Marquise Madness
I love the east-west reset of your mom's stone! So nice to have that sentimental attachment for your ring.
Thank you! I'm super sentimental and the marquise was just sitting in the safety deposit box for 13 years because my mom didn't want to sell it, she didn't trade it in, but she didn't want to wear it. It worked out well that it could be an engagement ring for me!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

motownmama

Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Jan 9, 2008
Messages
7,342
Obviously this only matters to the individual wearing said ring....however.... for ME, my engagement ring is my engagement ring - i.e. the ring my DH put on my finger when he asked me to marry him. He chose it, it was a surprise and the event and the ring are very special to me. I have a much larger 3-stone that he gave me on our 20th -the center stone is from my mom's engagement ring - DH actually recreated the engagement when he presented it to me! I call that my Anniversary ring.
Now, on a related note, I lost my wedding band - "with this ring I three wed" has been missing for 15 years! Such is life. The good news is that I now have many, many replacements for it.
 

pyramid

Ideal_Rock
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Messages
4,607
AdaBeta27|1476062402|4085186 said:
Where I live, I think the "upgrade" isn't very common. What does happen is that, if she's lucky ;-) the woman gets a second, larger diamond ring for some milestone anniversary like 25 or more. She keeps the original ring. In many cases, this town being what it is (small and not affluent), the woman might keep on wearing her small diamond e-ring / wedding set daily around town, and save her large diamond for special occasions or country club or family get-together, Shrine or K.O.C functions, etc., where she's not in contact with the general public. In small towns around here, for safety reasons it's best to not make a target of yourself, especially if you are older and / or live alone or it's just the two of you.
I think this is very much like the UK and the second ring would never be thought of as an upgrade and maybe 1 in 1000 people would get one on their 25th anniversary. What most would do is stop wearing their engagement ring which is tiny over here 15 to 25 points and maybe coloured stone and the reasons would be don't like the style now or too small or it broke. You never hear of people getting them made larger or repaired. They then may wear just their wedding gold band (this is what most do after children) or an amethyst or garnet maybe half eternity multi row on the middle finger. Hardly ever see someone getting another diamond ring, maybe a small diamond cluster. Most people have about 3 coloured stone rings and a wedding band and that is all. Rings are never really thought about unless at engagement time or maybe a coloured ring one Christmas in 30 Christmases. Jewellery is the same, you will hear someone say 'oh I got this pendant maybe 23 years ago now'. I reckon most people only have about 8 items of jewellery.

It is so different in America, as over here in the UK people spend on houses, cars, fashion and holidays. Jewellery is a once in a lifetime thing but not seen as important just 'my engagement ring if they still wear it and it was from when I got engaged'. There is no second engagement ring or upgrade EVER really. Even if they say, they never really like their engagement ring, or this is all there was to choose from, or all we could afford, that is the end of it, there is no thought to get another as that cannot be lived again in peoples minds - not that they ever think about it. Another ring is never thought of as having to do with their engagement ring.

Maybe not important is the wrong words I used but I mean it is not important in everday thoughts, maybe when a friend gets engaged it is mentioned. I think some of the older generation were more sentimental than people now. The thing is though I have noticed some younger people getting like a half carat or larger diamond now and no one really pays any attention to the ring. They congratulate them on their engagement or speak about a party. Out of maybe 70 facebook messages, 68 of them are just congratulations and the words lovely ring is mentioned 1 time maybe 2 at most. Most engagements announced has no pic of ring also. When people/friends meet the ring is never spoken about maybe shown once and that is it. Now here is one thing unusual there is a girl in my office building who I think has an about third carat pink diamond solitaire, it is set in rose gold so not sure if the diamond is pink or white but looks pink, oh and I can't ask as no one talks about it =)
 

acaw2015

Brilliant_Rock
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Jun 30, 2015
Messages
763
Pyramid: "Hardly ever see someone getting another diamond ring, maybe a small diamond cluster. Most people have about 3 coloured stone rings and a wedding band and that is all. Rings are never really thought about unless at engagement time or maybe a coloured ring one Christmas in 30 Christmases. Jewellery is the same, you will hear someone say 'oh I got this pendant maybe 23 years ago now'. I reckon most people only have about 8 items of jewellery."

Honestly this makes me a little sad for the women you describe, unless you mean that they simply dont *like* jewelry or are too poor to actually afford anything more. If someone who loves jewelry happen to have spare cash and have something in mind that they like I dont see the point in not buying? I know people "in the real world" are different than on PS re wanting jewelry so I will have to assume your ladies fall under the category of not wanting it. Otherwise I hope someone will talk to them and/or their husbands about things like gender equality and "you only live once".

There is another thread going on here about "bad juju" from buying used rings. The opinion there seems to be that no bad juju exists. Still, in this thread it seems the "original" engagement ring has some sort of juju because it is so hard to part from it. This is interesting to me because they are all simply material things. I seem to be of the "wrong" opinion in both threads. :lol:

/aca :wavey:
 

partgypsy

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Nov 7, 2004
Messages
6,348
AdaBeta27|1476062402|4085186 said:
Where I live, I think the "upgrade" isn't very common. What does happen is that, if she's lucky ;-) the woman gets a second, larger diamond ring for some milestone anniversary like 25 or more. She keeps the original ring. In many cases, this town being what it is (small and not affluent), the woman might keep on wearing her small diamond e-ring / wedding set daily around town, and save her large diamond for special occasions or country club or family get-together, Shrine or K.O.C functions, etc., where she's not in contact with the general public. In small towns around here, for safety reasons it's best to not make a target of yourself, especially if you are older and / or live alone or it's just the two of you.

In my town people keep the original engagement ring. For those celebrating and more well off, having a 5 stone anniversary ring on the right hand.

I don't know if I'd call it ju ju, but if people have a positive sentimental association with their original engagement ring, they wouldn't want to sell it. Plus usually they are relatively modest so it makes more sense to hand down than to sell.
 

Queenie60

Ideal_Rock
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Sep 15, 2014
Messages
4,270
I am not sentimental with jewelry. My original e ring was stolen during a home robbery and since that time it's not as sentimental as it was before. My replacement was switched by a crooked jeweler and my current ring is a replacement for that one. As I spend more time on PS I am not as thrilled with my current wedding ring and may replace that one sometime in the future. Through all of that my marriage is still going strong and that is what really matters.
 

pyramid

Ideal_Rock
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It is not that they don't *like* jewellery it is more that it is not what is thought of as a good thing to spend money on. Women would rather spend on their family or holidays or clothes or most often a larger house in the country. The DeBeers promotions were banned I believe in the UK in the early days so people here know very little about diamonds most say 'artificially inflated prices and they are not rare'. I read there were enough around to give every man, woman and child in America a cup full. Coloured stones are thought of as rare over here but also a waste of money unless you are very rich like the Royals. Adiamond some say is a deposit on buying a new house. Large weddings are thought of in the same way. Like 'it is only one day'. Re gender equality most women are earning as much as their husbands but don't want to put money in jewellery - a detached house with a huge garden instead.


acaw2015|1476183023|4085547 said:
Pyramid: "Hardly ever see someone getting another diamond ring, maybe a small diamond cluster. Most people have about 3 coloured stone rings and a wedding band and that is all. Rings are never really thought about unless at engagement time or maybe a coloured ring one Christmas in 30 Christmases. Jewellery is the same, you will hear someone say 'oh I got this pendant maybe 23 years ago now'. I reckon most people only have about 8 items of jewellery."

Honestly this makes me a little sad for the women you describe, unless you mean that they simply dont *like* jewelry or are too poor to actually afford anything more. If someone who loves jewelry happen to have spare cash and have something in mind that they like I dont see the point in not buying? I know people "in the real world" are different than on PS re wanting jewelry so I will have to assume your ladies fall under the category of not wanting it. Otherwise I hope someone will talk to them and/or their husbands about things like gender equality and "you only live once".

There is another thread going on here about "bad juju" from buying used rings. The opinion there seems to be that no bad juju exists. Still, in this thread it seems the "original" engagement ring has some sort of juju because it is so hard to part from it. This is interesting to me because they are all simply material things. I seem to be of the "wrong" opinion in both threads. :lol:

/aca :wavey:
 

OoohShiny

Ideal_Rock
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Apr 25, 2014
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7,173
Jeez, Queenie, you've had terrible luck!
 

kb1gra

Brilliant_Rock
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Jul 6, 2012
Messages
621
For me the only sentimental piece I have is my wedding band. The one that was put on my finger on my wedding day.

The engagement ring I could care less about (I have three that I wear as "engagement rings" and am about to have a 4th arrive, hopefully the last for awhile) and I don't do much with other jewelry. I'm fine with wearing CZ earrings or a cz tennis bracelet and funneling the rest of my money into my horse(s).

I'd have no problem trading up an engagement ring for something different, but I'd have a hard time spending a lot of money. I don't own a ring that cost more than $5k and I doubt I'd be willing to trade up and spend $10k on another ring.
 

Bron357

Ideal_Rock
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Jan 22, 2014
Messages
4,111
I got married very late so I started off where I wanted to finish. I have had the ring restyled recently (after 16 years) because I now have puffy fingers and it couldn't be resized enough.
My mum has been through 5 engagement rings (married 60 years now) and each one has been bigger and brighter!
I think it's a personal decision, some people would never change their original rings, others are very happy to upgrade or restyle as finances allow. I love spending my money on jewellery rather than say holidays or new cars. And again, that's a personal choice.
 

acaw2015

Brilliant_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 30, 2015
Messages
763
Pyramid|1476208971|4085708 said:
It is not that they don't *like* jewellery it is more that it is not what is thought of as a good thing to spend money on. Women would rather spend on their family or holidays or clothes or most often a larger house in the country. The DeBeers promotions were banned I believe in the UK in the early days so people here know very little about diamonds most say 'artificially inflated prices and they are not rare'. I read there were enough around to give every man, woman and child in America a cup full. Coloured stones are thought of as rare over here but also a waste of money unless you are very rich like the Royals. Adiamond some say is a deposit on buying a new house. Large weddings are thought of in the same way. Like 'it is only one day'. Re gender equality most women are earning as much as their husbands but don't want to put money in jewellery - a detached house with a huge garden instead.


acaw2015|1476183023|4085547 said:
Pyramid: "Hardly ever see someone getting another diamond ring, maybe a small diamond cluster. Most people have about 3 coloured stone rings and a wedding band and that is all. Rings are never really thought about unless at engagement time or maybe a coloured ring one Christmas in 30 Christmases. Jewellery is the same, you will hear someone say 'oh I got this pendant maybe 23 years ago now'. I reckon most people only have about 8 items of jewellery."

Honestly this makes me a little sad for the women you describe, unless you mean that they simply dont *like* jewelry or are too poor to actually afford anything more. If someone who loves jewelry happen to have spare cash and have something in mind that they like I dont see the point in not buying? I know people "in the real world" are different than on PS re wanting jewelry so I will have to assume your ladies fall under the category of not wanting it. Otherwise I hope someone will talk to them and/or their husbands about things like gender equality and "you only live once".

There is another thread going on here about "bad juju" from buying used rings. The opinion there seems to be that no bad juju exists. Still, in this thread it seems the "original" engagement ring has some sort of juju because it is so hard to part from it. This is interesting to me because they are all simply material things. I seem to be of the "wrong" opinion in both threads. :lol:

/aca :wavey:
Ok I see. Re gender equality, I read a study several years ago where young married couples who thought they had a modern "equal" relationship were asked several questions over time to see how equal they really were. Apparently the study reached the conclusion that females often accepted not buying (unnecessary) things they liked and instead focused on buying things for the home while men tended to buy things anyway, like a more expensive car than necessary, more expensive sports equipment or computer/tv. I was thinking of your ladies. But it was simply a reflection on my part, making me feel a little uneasy. But I may be completely off.
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Jun 8, 2008
Messages
33,880
Yes I consider my ER mine as I do with all my material possessions. It is just a material/monetary possession. It is the relationship b/w my dh and me that matters and not the ring. I like my ring. It is pretty. I wear it on my left hand and it signifies I am married. But it is just a symbol. It can be changed, it can be altered and it matters not at all to our marriage. Our marriage and our love for each other is what matters and that is not altered in any way by changing the ring.

On a related note I think this is an interesting article FYI.

http://www.wsj.com/articles/americas-fling-with-bling-is-getting-old-1476178637

By STEPHEN WILMOT
Oct. 11, 2016 5:37 a.m. ET

The boom in luxury goods sales over the past decade is usually credited to China. But the U.S. has also been a significant engine of growth for the industry—until now.

Soggy sales lately in the U.S., which accounts for roughly one in every five dollars spent on luxury goods globally, were unexpected. For several years after the financial crisis the industry enjoyed double-digit growth in the country. Then, last fall, business turned down, despite ongoing robust growth in consumer spending and high stock prices.

One common explanation is the strong dollar. U.S. sales had been buoyed by tourists, particularly from Mexico, Brazil and China. But the greenback’s surge against emerging-market currencies from mid-2014 started to choke off such spending, while also encouraging affluent Americans to buy luxury goods on vacation rather than at home.

But tourists only account for 10% to 15% of U.S. luxury demand, according to Citigroup—a much lower share than in Europe. And this year growth has also been weak in Europe. Currency effects can’t be the full story.

Another popular explanation is greater economic and political uncertainty. U.S. stocks may be close to record highs, but they have also been volatile since the summer of 2015. Meanwhile, the tumultuous presidential race has ground on, though the impact on consumers has been unclear.

Blaming politics—as Cartier-owner Richemont has, for example—is comforting for executives, because it implies a 2017 recovery. But this sits uneasily with otherwise solid consumer spending and the early weakness of luxury sales in 2015, before the candidates’ mudslinging match started in earnest.

A more compelling explanation for the slowdown is the weakness of department stores, traditionally the key channel for U.S. luxury spending. Retailers bought excess inventory they could only clear with aggressive discounting. U.S. consumers now see reduced prices as normal, undermining sales within brands’ own boutiques.

The exception that proves the rule is Louis Vuitton, a rare brand that retains full control of its U.S. pricing. Parent company LVMH, which reported better-than-expected third-quarter numbers for its leather-goods division on Monday, has said U.S. sales for its flagship brand remain strong.

Even if the current weakness stems mainly from struggling department stores, there could be a deeper issue for the industry. The younger consumers who are gradually taking over from baby boomers as the engine of the U.S. economy may be less interested in acquiring the prestige brands of their parents’ generation. The dress code of Silicon Valley, the latest hub of U.S. wealth creation, is starkly different to that of Manhattan finance.

This year, luxury executives at Burberry and Gucci have publicly admitted growth rates in the future will be more mundane. Well documented changes in the Chinese economy play their part in that shift. Yet so too do evolving consumption patterns in the industry’s traditional U.S. stronghold. With these dual headwinds, a quick rebound may be wishful thinking.
 
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