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Why is this happening? Is it just me?

Discussion in 'Hangout' started by nala, Apr 25, 2019.

  1. nala
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    by nala » Apr 25, 2019
    Today is April 25th. If I wasn’t looking at my calendar, It might as well be February. I have no idea why time seems to be moving so rapidly. I can’t seem to catch up with it. Sometimes I feel like I have no direction, as a consequence. Sometimes I just feel exhausted and adrift. I’ve only started feeling this way recently. Maybe in January. Can anyone relate? I’m 45. Doctor says I’m in perfect health. Love my career as a teacher. Love my hubby. DD is doing great. My only stress stems from my choice to distance myself from my family. Could there be a correlation? Or is this feeling that time is flying normal? Please chime in.
     
    Last edited: Apr 25, 2019
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  2. LittleRed
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    by LittleRed » Apr 25, 2019
    Could it be the “toilet paper” syndrome? The farther along you get with it, the faster it goes. I truly think this is a thing! The months and years fly by now! I too think we just had February.

    I think when I’m old and senile I’m going to think it’s 1998. :whistle:
     
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  3. bludiva
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    by bludiva » Apr 25, 2019
    My dad calls it that too :lol::lol::lol: A lot of my friends talk about this in the last few years now that we are early 40s and I feel it too.
     
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  4. mary poppins
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    by mary poppins » Apr 25, 2019
    Yep, that's the way it is. Just had that experience today with something work related. Needed to review something, thought I had seen it before, double checked to see and I had at the end of January. I thought, "Wow, that long ago already?!"

    A lot is written about it, especially in psychology based material. Here are examples:
    https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-does-time-seem-to-speed-up-with-age/
    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...hip/201004/why-time-goes-faster-you-get-older
     
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  5. nala
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    by nala » Apr 25, 2019
    Thank you all for making me feel soooo relieved!
     
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  6. tigertales
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    by tigertales » Apr 25, 2019
    Sweetie, I'm not a psychologist, but I've experienced something like this when under stress, or duress. We process time, and the passing of time, very differently when we are overstimulated. We get overstimulated when there's a lot to process, more than we are used to, in a short amount of time. It puts so much info into our systems, a condensed, hyper-active version of life, that it distorts time.
    Yes, making a break with family, while perceived as the right, or healthy thing to do, is still heartbreaking on some level. I feel for you, darling. You are literally doing double time as your heart, mind and soul readjust. There's adrenaline in this on some level, and it speeds up your timeline, revs up your life and is preparing you for a future without the safety net that even toxic people( I'm assuming here) can provide. It's almost like a panic attack in slo-mo.
    You will adjust. They say a separation of any kind, from those we were bonded to, takes a full 2.5 years. I've seen this to be true. In the meantime, be patient with yourself as you process everything.
    Life will regain its normal pace.
     
  7. nala
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    by nala » Apr 25, 2019
    I’m gonna take some time to digest this. Thank you.
     
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  8. tigertales
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    by tigertales » Apr 25, 2019
    Much love Nala.
     
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  9. Karl_K
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    by Karl_K » Apr 25, 2019
    I can believe its 2019 already seems it was just 2010
     
  10. LLJsmom
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    by LLJsmom » Apr 26, 2019
    February- April 15, September- October 15. The month of December. Lose these time periods every year. Tax time. In the blink of an eye, it’s panic mode, 5 hours of sleep a night and 14 hour days. Where did my whole life go?

    Nala, you’re in good company.
     
    


    


  11. Calliecake
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    by Calliecake » Apr 26, 2019
    Time seems to fly by faster the older you get.

    Time has seemed to really fly by once I turned 55. But I had emotional things happen in this time.

    The emotional family estrangements have probably added a lot of stress. Even if we feel it is for the best, it’s still hard losing people who have played important roles in our lives. Those bonds are not easily broken. Breaking them can also break us in the process. Anger and past hurts are hard things to carry and let go of. Letting it go is often easier said then done. Hang in there Nala. I hope this gets easier for you. We can love people we may not like very much at times. Family relationships can often be extremely complicated. People are multifaceted and none of us are perfect. I can easily let go of unintentional slights or if I know the persons truly didn’t mean to hurt me.

    From what I’ve read of your posting in the past, its easy to understand how hurt you have been by your families actions. The problem when we get a little older often the hurt comes from past hurts that have hurt deeply other than what you are upset with at the time. It’s easy for past resentments to get in the way of repairing a relationrelationship and moving forward.
     
  12. Wewechew
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    by Wewechew » Apr 26, 2019
    This has been hitting me a lot lately! Maybe because my 20 year high school reunion is coming up :eek2:
     
  13. Karl_K
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    by Karl_K » Apr 26, 2019
    Just wait until the 30th is coming up.
    It is even worse.
    I think it hits everyone when a class reunion is coming up.
     
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  14. Arcadian
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  15. Elliot86
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    by Elliot86 » Apr 26, 2019
    I still think 1999 was 10 years ago so... :lol:
     
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  16. cmd2014
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    by cmd2014 » Apr 26, 2019
    I find that time blurs by at lightning speed when I am over busy. I feel like I’ve blinked and missed it. Maybe that’s part of it for you as well?
     
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  17. tigertales
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    by tigertales » Apr 26, 2019
    That's hysterical! I just got my "invitation" blazing with the old school colors. Rah rah, sis boom bah.
    UGH.
     
  18. stracci2000
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    by stracci2000 » Apr 26, 2019
    This is my experience, too. The 80's seem like yesterday to me!
    I still have a pair of shoes I bought in 1988. And I still wear them occasionally:eek2:
     
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  19. gregchang35
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    by gregchang35 » Apr 26, 2019
    totally relate...

    i saw a professional colleague that i see from time to time, at a function and asked how is arm was.. 'cos i heard he fell off his bike and he was off work for some time. he looked at me puzzled... then i told him yeah i heard you fell off your bike and that was like 18mo ago ....

    he looked at me and said, er.. that was like 10yrs ago!
     
  20. tkyasx78
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    by tkyasx78 » Apr 26, 2019
    When asked to imagine my life 30 years ago, my mind drifts to the late 1970’s

    Reality is though next year , 30 years ago will be 1990! :eek2:

    Time really does fly.
     
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  21. Gussie
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    by Gussie » Apr 26, 2019
    My theory is that it's all relative. When you're 5 years old, a year is 20% of your life, a large percent and feels like a long time. When you're 40, a year is only 2.5% of your life and it seems to go by faster. I'm at the blink and miss it all stage , lol!
     
  22. missy
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    by missy » Apr 26, 2019
    Yes time is flying by. Chronologically I am going to be 54 in a few months. Somehow 54 got here so fast. In my head though I still feel 24. :wink2:

    https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-does-time-seem-to-speed-up-with-age/

     
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  23. Alex T
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    by Alex T » Apr 26, 2019
    I am definitely only 24...................... o_O
     
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  24. Diamond_Hawk
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    by Diamond_Hawk » Apr 27, 2019
    I have always explained it this way. While the man-made concept of time is, in the broad sense, objective and constant - we, as individuals, are not.

    When you are 10 years old, a year is 1/10th of your total life experience. When you are 20 years old, it is half that - 1/20th of your life experience.

    So, in relative terms, a year is 3 times “faster” at 45 than it was at 15.

    As people hit their 30s, then 40s, etc... Like a roll of toilet paper (love this!) perception of the total trip around is relatively shortened. Ask a 9 year old how far away a year (or even a month) seems and you’ll get a far different answer than from someone who is 59.

    Unless your upcoming beach vacation is a month away, then everyone thinks it is in some too far distant future.
     
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  25. SandyinAnaheim
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    by SandyinAnaheim » Apr 28, 2019
    @nala, I'm with you on this one. I went to see a chiropractor today for the second time in my life and he asked me about my work schedule. I've been working 6 days a week for a bit. He asked me how long is a bit, and when I thought about it, it's been since last July!! That's almost a year, but I hadn't really realized how long it's been until he asked! I think sometimes when you have one has their nose to the grindstone for too long, just trying to live up to one's commitments, the days fly by in a monotony of JUST KEEPING UP with it all. Add to that the major changes in your life (I've been through the EXACT same things you have btw), which just adds a fresh layer of stress to everything that's already going on, and there's no doubt it's all blurring together, because that one more stressor creates an overload, and many days, it's all a little too much and you're just glad it's done and you didn't falter.

    I also find that the more things I have going on in my head, the less conscious I am of how much time has gone by. I think our brains can only focus on so many things at once, and the less important stuff, like the passage of time, falls by the wayside. If you are able, try to find a few minutes a day that you can dedicate to yourself and not meeting the needs of others, even if it's just to relax, read or meditate a bit. Trust me, in time you will heal from the scars of your family issues and come to terms with the situation as it is, and not be as disappointed that it's not as it should be. But in the meantime, rest assured that time IS flying by....for all of us. :cry:
     
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  26. foxinsox
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  27. violet3
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    by violet3 » May 6, 2019
    I agree with this - I think you're grieving honestly, and grief is a STRANGE emotion. I lost 4 of my closest family members in 2016, and the emotions that followed....just whoa. The year flew by in a blink, but every day was like walking through water....so slow and weird. From what you're describing, it sounds about the same. When the year anniversary of all of the deaths came around, I was SHOCKED - as in "how could a year have possibly come and gone? I don't remember any of it." That's just my own personal experience with grief, but it sounds similar to what you are describing. Big hugs.
     
  28. Rubymal
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    by Rubymal » May 7, 2019
    I was just about to say this too! I've heard this discussion a few times too.
     
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  29. monarch64
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    by monarch64 » May 7, 2019
    My life didn’t seem to go by quickly until I had my daughter and everything began to be measured in months and milestones. Every couple of months I buy new shoes and clothes and lament the tiniest socks that are gone forever that have made way for ever larger ones. I watched a movie last night that made me realize how quickly she’s growing up and that her childhood will be over before I’ve had time to blink. Motherhood is a very strange thing. I often feel empowered and helpless at the same time.
     
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