Why is job searching a talking game?

[Bleed Burnt Orange]

I am a technical person. I don't really like to talk to clients about more than the issue and the solution. I am methodical not that I'm anti-social, but I get the job done.

As an engineer, I do possess the ability to communicate properly and things like that, but...I'm not a "talker". I can't and I don't like to just talk about little things to people I don't know. I realize that interviews are a test of personalities and things like that, but...it's not like I have a bad personality, I'm just a little shy and for crying out loud...I'm nervous as hell in an interview.

I nearly didn't get the job I have now because my boss thought I would be too shy. The team lead that helped convince him otherwise, can now honestly say that I'm far from shy!

My question for the interview professionals out there...why is getting a job such a talking game? Why must I BS so much to try to get a job? I am frustrated at the whole process. What they don't know is that I'm very smart, which I have been told by and proven to my former and current employers. I can learn the job and make friends. They can't really hear that in a BS interview and my laziness the first two years of college didn't help!

Can anyone provide advice/tips, etc? I am stuck in a job I hate, and I need to advance my career. The one I am capable of.

Thank you.

P.S...It's a bit of a rant, but...I just HATE HATE HATE this job hunting thing!

 

[TravelingGal]

BBB, having been in management, I can tell you that for me, the most annoying thing was managing surly people. Managers look for someone who is personable and will be a team player. There are many candidates out there who can get the job done, but not as many who can do the job AND do it with a good attitude.

Yes, hopefully they'd give you a chance and get to know you on the job, but with the high cost of turnover, employers are going to look at the entire package and pick the best possible candidate from the get go. It's not BS...you're selling yourself. If you don't think you'd be shy on the job, then you need to present that in the interview.

I would highly recommend talking to a friend who is accomplished at interviews. Research the internet and come up with the usual list of interview questions, plus any that would be pertinent to your field. Then PRACTICE. You will feel totally stupid doing this role playing at first, but you would be surprised at how many questions you *think* you can easily answer, but when verbalized, stumble across your tongue. Like anything, good interview skills take practice.

You need to change your attitude about the interview process. It isn't BS. It's a chance to convince someone you are the best candidate for the job. Your attitude seems to convey that you believe you are smart, learn easily and make friends - and are above the "BS" needed to get a job. If are condescending toward the process, it will show in the interview. You may not have chosen to go into sales as a profession, but I can tell you that life is often a lot about selling yourself.

Good luck!

 

[TravelingGal]

P.S. the reason why it's harder managing an attitude problem rather than an incompetent employee is that the latter is much easier to get rid of. The former is just a HR nightmare. It's stressful for management and really ruins your workday!

 

[princesss]

One of the things I've learned in interviews is that confidence and seeming friendly is big. I always make eye contact, smile, and give a firm handshake - those three things seem simple enough, but the impact they have is huge. You are smart, friendly, and a quick learner, so apply those skills to interviewing. Learn how to play the game, do it with a smile, and leave them thinking that you know you're going to do a dang good job. (Also, whether you need to or not, a pause before answering their question makes you appear more thoughtful, so when you rehearse, remember to give yourself time to breathe.)

Yeah, if you're a more direct person, it can be hard. Not everybody loves the song and dance of it. And while an interview may not give you a chance to show what you're like on a day-to-day basis, it sure gives them a good idea of what you're like under stress!

Good luck. Interviewing is never fun, especially when you're desperate to get out of what you're doing now. I have a few friends going through that and I know they're miserable.

 

[zipzapgirl]

I've been hiring some junipr staff lately as well as peer-interviewing for a role at my level. The thing that a lot of people forget is that the people interviewing you are considering three things:

1) If I have to work with this person every day, is that going to be positive or negative? Just one or two bad attitudes can spoil the whole environment, so putting together a group of people who can get along is key.
2) Am I going to be able to depend on this person? Are they competent for the position, can they grow into a more advanced position, and can I count on them not to leave me in the lurch when things get tough?
3) Is this person a threat? If the candidate seems like the type who is going to try to take over your job and walk all over you to get to the management office, that ambition is threatening and would probably result in rejecting even a very good candidate out of self-preservation. This sounds horrible, but its true even for very secure, confident people, and even more true for insecure people!

As a candidate, its not just about selling yourself, but seeing if you would like the position, if you would enjoy the work environment, and gaining subtle clues about the company and team. When you start thinking about the idea that it is important for both parties to evaluate the situation a decide if it is best for them, it changes your perspective and hopefully relieves some nervousness by putting some of the control back in your hands. It's a bit like dating -- Both parties should be equally excited about the prospect of joining up in order for it to work!

 

[TravelingGal]

I've been hiring some junipr staff lately as well as peer-interviewing for a role at my level. The thing that a lot of people forget is that the people interviewing you are considering three things:

1) If I have to work with this person every day, is that going to be positive or negative? Just one or two bad attitudes can spoil the whole environment, so putting together a group of people who can get along is key.
2) Am I going to be able to depend on this person? Are they competent for the position, can they grow into a more advanced position, and can I count on them not to leave me in the lurch when things get tough?
3) Is this person a threat? If the candidate seems like the type who is going to try to take over your job and walk all over you to get to the management office, that ambition is threatening and would probably result in rejecting even a very good candidate out of self-preservation. This sounds horrible, but its true even for very secure, confident people, and even more true for insecure people!

As a candidate, its not just about selling yourself, but seeing if you would like the position, if you would enjoy the work environment, and gaining subtle clues about the company and team. When you start thinking about the idea that it is important for both parties to evaluate the situation a decide if it is best for them, it changes your perspective and hopefully relieves some nervousness by putting some of the control back in your hands. It's a bit like dating -- Both parties should be equally excited about the prospect of joining up in order for it to work!

Good point, and I always say that...use it as an important to interview them too! That mentality helps me a lot. I go in with the mindset that it's time to also see if they are the right candidate for me! But definitely be positive and come across like you are interested in the position...you're just trying to see if it's a place that you can stay and be committed to.

 

[Bleed Burnt Orange]

BBB, having been in management, I can tell you that for me, the most annoying thing was managing surly people. Managers look for someone who is personable and will be a team player. There are many candidates out there who can get the job done, but not as many who can do the job AND do it with a good attitude.

Yes, hopefully they'd give you a chance and get to know you on the job, but with the high cost of turnover, employers are going to look at the entire package and pick the best possible candidate from the get go. It's not BS...you're selling yourself. If you don't think you'd be shy on the job, then you need to present that in the interview.

I would highly recommend talking to a friend who is accomplished at interviews. Research the internet and come up with the usual list of interview questions, plus any that would be pertinent to your field. Then PRACTICE. You will feel totally stupid doing this role playing at first, but you would be surprised at how many questions you *think* you can easily answer, but when verbalized, stumble across your tongue. Like anything, good interview skills take practice.

You need to change your attitude about the interview process. It isn't BS. It's a chance to convince someone you are the best candidate for the job. Your attitude seems to convey that you believe you are smart, learn easily and make friends - and are above the "BS" needed to get a job. If are condescending toward the process, it will show in the interview. You may not have chosen to go into sales as a profession, but I can tell you that life is often a lot about selling yourself.

Good luck!

Thank you for this advice.

For the record and so that you don't think I'm full of it...I am actually a team player and work well in teams. I called it BS because it is so intimidating! Also...the GPA thing...I find annoying that a GPA counts for so much.

I understand the selling yourself thing...I get that and I know that incompetent people get jobs all the time...I've known some (and no...I'm not being full of myself). I just don't understand why a small interview has to be so fake and uptight. If they're looking for my personality...intimidation sucks. Not that I can't handle a tough environment it's that in a place where I prefer to be proper and professional, I feel like "selling myself" is phony! I understand how to speak about my strengths and weaknesses, I just don't understand going on and on and on and on about myself. I know about having questions for the interviewer...that makes perfect sense! I need to know about them as much as they need to know about me.

Regardless...I'm not full of myself or think I'm above the whole thing. I am smart and learn easily but I am not ABOVE the BS.

 

[Bleed Burnt Orange]

P.S. the reason why it's harder managing an attitude problem rather than an incompetent employee is that the latter is much easier to get rid of. The former is just a HR nightmare. It's stressful for management and really ruins your workday!

I know what having an attitude can do for a team environment. I'm not saying that I have an attitude, and I do realize that's why employers try to hire someone without an attitude. However, if an interview is full of "selling oneself" who is going to sell themselves poorly? Being shy isn't the same as being arrogant. I'm not arrogant! I do have to be agressive to prove I'm capable...to overcome my shyness. What if that comes across as arrogant?

 

[Bleed Burnt Orange]

One of the things I've learned in interviews is that confidence and seeming friendly is big. I always make eye contact, smile, and give a firm handshake - those three things seem simple enough, but the impact they have is huge. You are smart, friendly, and a quick learner, so apply those skills to interviewing. Learn how to play the game, do it with a smile, and leave them thinking that you know you're going to do a dang good job. (Also, whether you need to or not, a pause before answering their question makes you appear more thoughtful, so when you rehearse, remember to give yourself time to breathe.)

Yeah, if you're a more direct person, it can be hard. Not everybody loves the song and dance of it. And while an interview may not give you a chance to show what you're like on a day-to-day basis, it sure gives them a good idea of what you're like under stress!

Good luck. Interviewing is never fun, especially when you're desperate to get out of what you're doing now. I have a few friends going through that and I know they're miserable.

Thank you for your response.

Thankfully interviews are as professional as I'd like them to be and I practice those skills when I meet anyone.

 

[Bleed Burnt Orange]

I've been hiring some junipr staff lately as well as peer-interviewing for a role at my level. The thing that a lot of people forget is that the people interviewing you are considering three things:

1) If I have to work with this person every day, is that going to be positive or negative? Just one or two bad attitudes can spoil the whole environment, so putting together a group of people who can get along is key.
2) Am I going to be able to depend on this person? Are they competent for the position, can they grow into a more advanced position, and can I count on them not to leave me in the lurch when things get tough?
3) Is this person a threat? If the candidate seems like the type who is going to try to take over your job and walk all over you to get to the management office, that ambition is threatening and would probably result in rejecting even a very good candidate out of self-preservation. This sounds horrible, but its true even for very secure, confident people, and even more true for insecure people!

As a candidate, its not just about selling yourself, but seeing if you would like the position, if you would enjoy the work environment, and gaining subtle clues about the company and team. When you start thinking about the idea that it is important for both parties to evaluate the situation a decide if it is best for them, it changes your perspective and hopefully relieves some nervousness by putting some of the control back in your hands. It's a bit like dating -- Both parties should be equally excited about the prospect of joining up in order for it to work!

This is really helpful advice. Thank you for pointing out the three things from an interviewer's perspective!

 

[princesss]

One of the things I've learned in interviews is that confidence and seeming friendly is big. I always make eye contact, smile, and give a firm handshake - those three things seem simple enough, but the impact they have is huge. You are smart, friendly, and a quick learner, so apply those skills to interviewing. Learn how to play the game, do it with a smile, and leave them thinking that you know you're going to do a dang good job. (Also, whether you need to or not, a pause before answering their question makes you appear more thoughtful, so when you rehearse, remember to give yourself time to breathe.)

Yeah, if you're a more direct person, it can be hard. Not everybody loves the song and dance of it. And while an interview may not give you a chance to show what you're like on a day-to-day basis, it sure gives them a good idea of what you're like under stress!

Good luck. Interviewing is never fun, especially when you're desperate to get out of what you're doing now. I have a few friends going through that and I know they're miserable.

Thank you for your response.

Thankfully interviews are as professional as I'd like them to be and I practice those skills when I meet anyone.

Good! You'd be surprised how many people completely ignore that. I've found it usually relaxes the interviewers a little bit, which helps me relax.

 

[kama_s]

BBO, I had the exact same vent when I was job hunting a few months ago. I was coming from an academic background, and going into one of the most superficial of industries (pharma, where everything is about selling and marketing). I despised 'fluff' questions, and personally, I don't think they add any value as most responses are rehearsed anyways. One of my contacts during university was the HR director of one of the top 3 pharmas in the world, and she told me no one would care two hoots about my resume unless I didn't beef it up. I toyed with the idea for weeks, and finally decided to stay true to my core. And I am glad I did. I found like-minded employers and team mates, because obviously my resume attracted those who were similarly inclined.

Anyways, for interviews, I came up with a compromise. When asked to 'sell' myself on a particular aspect, I didn't use fancy words to describe me. Instead, I used real life anecdotes and examples and explained a) the problem b) the solution and c) how I resolved the issue. Your experience would speak for itself and you can also demonstrate how great a team player you are.

To give you an example:

I was asked to rate my literature searching skills (review of published scientific literature), and I could have expressed how strong my skills are blah blah blah. Instead, I gave them an example of my thesis topic and what sort of issues I faced while conducting a thorough search and explained why I selected certain strategies and processes over others. So, I didn't exactly toot my own horn or play with words, but I did firmly demonstrate my competance.

Or,

When asked if you work well with a team, I would give examples of how I might have had a particular issue with a team member and how I effectively dealt with it in a professional manner. So no fluff, just pure honestly.

Anyways, I hope this helps. I fully, 100% understand where you're coming from. Good luck!

 

[kama_s]

I forgot to mention, I also did a crossover between a resume and an academic CV. So, yet again, it was less 'talking' if you will, and more technical.

I also wanted to say that, while my resume generated a lot of interest, I may have put off bigger 'all about the fluff' corporations. It's just the nature of the beast. But, keep in mind, the place that does hire you will appreciate you for who you are because they would share similar ideals. I never have had to deal with silly company policies or other BS for the same reason.

 

[Bleed Burnt Orange]

I forgot to mention, I also did a crossover between a resume and an academic CV. So, yet again, it was less 'talking' if you will, and more technical.

I also wanted to say that, while my resume generated a lot of interest, I may have put off bigger 'all about the fluff' corporations. It's just the nature of the beast. But, keep in mind, the place that does hire you will appreciate you for who you are because they would share similar ideals. I never have had to deal with silly company policies or other BS for the same reason.

Thank you so much, Kama! These words will keep me strong!

I'm glad you were able to find a place that suits you instead of molding for someone else!

 

[elrohwen]

One of the things I've learned in interviews is that confidence and seeming friendly is big. I always make eye contact, smile, and give a firm handshake - those three things seem simple enough, but the impact they have is huge. You are smart, friendly, and a quick learner, so apply those skills to interviewing. Learn how to play the game, do it with a smile, and leave them thinking that you know you're going to do a dang good job. (Also, whether you need to or not, a pause before answering their question makes you appear more thoughtful, so when you rehearse, remember to give yourself time to breathe.)

Yeah, if you're a more direct person, it can be hard. Not everybody loves the song and dance of it. And while an interview may not give you a chance to show what you're like on a day-to-day basis, it sure gives them a good idea of what you're like under stress!

Good luck. Interviewing is never fun, especially when you're desperate to get out of what you're doing now. I have a few friends going through that and I know they're miserable.

I agree. I think just smiling and being friendly goes a loooong way. I'm in a similar field to you I think (I'm a ChemE in the computer hardware industry) and I really get what you're saying. So many interviewing articles and interviewing coaches out there come on a little strong and the "selling yourself" message is a little phony. The good news is you're interviewing with people just like you for the most part - hopefully you won't have to talk much with HR and you'll spend the whole time talking to actual engineers (and engineering managers) who have similar personalities to yourself. Sure, you have to be careful not to come across as shy (I have that tendency too) but a smile and some friendly conversation can go a long way in that department. That's not selling yourself - that's just being nice and personable, I think (at least thinking of it that way seems a lot less like BS). That's what people really want to see - that you're a nice person they can work with daily. A lot of people in the engineering world lack basic social skills, so anybody with a nice smile and some friendly banter can be a cut above Just think of it that way and it seems less intimidating.

After that, it sounds like you have the competency part down - just make sure you can talk about what you've done and give real world examples, like Kama mentioned, and you're well on your way. Also, I assume the job you have now is your first out of college and that's why your GPA was so important? After your first job, I would just remove your GPA from your resume - nobody cares anymore (or they shouldn't). Unless it's something super impressive like a 4.0, a future employer is going to care far more about what you did at your last job than your GPA.

 

[Bleed Burnt Orange]

One of the things I've learned in interviews is that confidence and seeming friendly is big. I always make eye contact, smile, and give a firm handshake - those three things seem simple enough, but the impact they have is huge. You are smart, friendly, and a quick learner, so apply those skills to interviewing. Learn how to play the game, do it with a smile, and leave them thinking that you know you're going to do a dang good job. (Also, whether you need to or not, a pause before answering their question makes you appear more thoughtful, so when you rehearse, remember to give yourself time to breathe.)

Yeah, if you're a more direct person, it can be hard. Not everybody loves the song and dance of it. And while an interview may not give you a chance to show what you're like on a day-to-day basis, it sure gives them a good idea of what you're like under stress!

Good luck. Interviewing is never fun, especially when you're desperate to get out of what you're doing now. I have a few friends going through that and I know they're miserable.

I agree. I think just smiling and being friendly goes a loooong way. I'm in a similar field to you I think (I'm a ChemE in the computer hardware industry) and I really get what you're saying. So many interviewing articles and interviewing coaches out there come on a little strong and the "selling yourself" message is a little phony. The good news is you're interviewing with people just like you for the most part - hopefully you won't have to talk much with HR and you'll spend the whole time talking to actual engineers (and engineering managers) who have similar personalities to yourself. Sure, you have to be careful not to come across as shy (I have that tendency too) but a smile and some friendly conversation can go a long way in that department. That's not selling yourself - that's just being nice and personable, I think (at least thinking of it that way seems a lot less like BS). That's what people really want to see - that you're a nice person they can work with daily. A lot of people in the engineering world lack basic social skills, so anybody with a nice smile and some friendly banter can be a cut above Just think of it that way and it seems less intimidating.

After that, it sounds like you have the competency part down - just make sure you can talk about what you've done and give real world examples, like Kama mentioned, and you're well on your way. Also, I assume the job you have now is your first out of college and that's why your GPA was so important? After your first job, I would just remove your GPA from your resume - nobody cares anymore (or they shouldn't). Unless it's something super impressive like a 4.0, a future employer is going to care far more about what you did at your last job than your GPA.

Thank you! I agree that I would speak to engineering managers and that could definitely help. I'm a Pet.E. by the way.

I tend to believe that I'm not part of the "typical" engineering group, but...I know I have the tendencies to be super literal. Hopefully with my general friendly attitude I can get past the interview.

Part of the hurdle is getting interviews...that's for sure!

 

[TravelingGal]

BBB, having been in management, I can tell you that for me, the most annoying thing was managing surly people. Managers look for someone who is personable and will be a team player. There are many candidates out there who can get the job done, but not as many who can do the job AND do it with a good attitude.

Yes, hopefully they'd give you a chance and get to know you on the job, but with the high cost of turnover, employers are going to look at the entire package and pick the best possible candidate from the get go. It's not BS...you're selling yourself. If you don't think you'd be shy on the job, then you need to present that in the interview.

I would highly recommend talking to a friend who is accomplished at interviews. Research the internet and come up with the usual list of interview questions, plus any that would be pertinent to your field. Then PRACTICE. You will feel totally stupid doing this role playing at first, but you would be surprised at how many questions you *think* you can easily answer, but when verbalized, stumble across your tongue. Like anything, good interview skills take practice.

You need to change your attitude about the interview process. It isn't BS. It's a chance to convince someone you are the best candidate for the job. Your attitude seems to convey that you believe you are smart, learn easily and make friends - and are above the "BS" needed to get a job. If are condescending toward the process, it will show in the interview. You may not have chosen to go into sales as a profession, but I can tell you that life is often a lot about selling yourself.

Good luck!

Thank you for this advice.

For the record and so that you don't think I'm full of it...I am actually a team player and work well in teams. I called it BS because it is so intimidating! Also...the GPA thing...I find annoying that a GPA counts for so much.

I understand the selling yourself thing...I get that and I know that incompetent people get jobs all the time...I've known some (and no...I'm not being full of myself). I just don't understand why a small interview has to be so fake and uptight. If they're looking for my personality...intimidation sucks. Not that I can't handle a tough environment it's that in a place where I prefer to be proper and professional, I feel like "selling myself" is phony! I understand how to speak about my strengths and weaknesses, I just don't understand going on and on and on and on about myself. I know about having questions for the interviewer...that makes perfect sense! I need to know about them as much as they need to know about me.

Regardless...I'm not full of myself or think I'm above the whole thing. I am smart and learn easily but I am not ABOVE the BS.

Just keep in mind that many people who interview hate doing it too. Perhaps you can mentality think that it's THEM who needs to be put at ease. I don't know what kinds of interviews you have had, but it IS an interview. If you're lucky and personable (and if they are as well), sometimes you can really hit it off with an interviewer so it doesn't feel so "fake." But many interviews just feel forced. It's a question and answer session and if you can manage to turn it into a pleasant conversation, that's more power to you.

Are these people trying to intimidate you on purpose? Or are you just intimdated yourself? I haven't been to any interviews where I'm made to feel intimidated on purpose...if I were, I wouldn't want to work for that company. If you change your mindset, that might help with the intimidation factor. It's perfectly normal to feel nervous...I always do before an interview because in the end I know I'm being "graded." But I try to just think it's a conversation with two parties trying to find out more about each other. Kind of like a first date (as another poster mentioned.)

You don't have to go on and on and on about yourself. You can answer each question with past experiences and answer them succinctly. Just add a bit of personality, smile and make eye contact. And don't forget if you are in an interview with multiple interviewers to make eye contact with all of them, not just the person asking all the questions. Use positive body language and don't be afraid to pause a bit before answering a question. Almost every person who has a job has been through an interview, so most all will understand it's not a fun process.

 

[elrohwen]

Thank you! I agree that I would speak to engineering managers and that could definitely help. I'm a Pet.E. by the way.

I tend to believe that I'm not part of the "typical" engineering group, but...I know I have the tendencies to be super literal. Hopefully with my general friendly attitude I can get past the interview.

Part of the hurdle is getting interviews...that's for sure!

Ahhh, that's right. I knew it was something similar to ChemE.

Have you had any interviews so far? I agree that just getting the interviews is the hard part. I think I'm a fairly good interviewer and I've been offered jobs for most things I've interviewed for, but when I was unemployed for 10 months last year I only had 2 interviews - one I didn't even want (in my old industry and 1.5hrs from home) and the other for my current job. It's not easy! Though the manufacturing world has opened up a lot in the past 6 months, so hopefully that applies to your industry as well.

 

[zoebartlett]

I MUCH prefer interviews that are more of a conversation than being in a situation where people are firing question after question at me. Really though, who wouldn't? Unfortunately, many interviews aren't set up that way. I was very intimidated by the process at first.

If you take the intimidation factor out of the equation, it should become easier over time. One thing that helped me is to rephrase the questions in my head as they're asked. It might sound silly, but I really did that during interviews. I had a mini conversation in my head while I paused before answering each question. "Okay, so they just asked X, which really means..." Certain questions are meant to get at different parts of your personality.

Rephrasing questions made each one less intimidating, once I figured out what the interviewers were really asking. Then I could smile, look around the room at each person, and confidently answer each question. It's not easy, and like TGal said, it does take practice. It DEFINITELY helps to have a mock interview with a family member, a friend, or a roommate.

Good luck BBO!

 

[Bleed Burnt Orange]

I MUCH prefer interviews that are more of a conversation than being in a situation where people are firing question after question at me. Really though, who wouldn't? Unfortunately, many interviews aren't set up that way. I was very intimidated by the process at first.

If you take the intimidation factor out of the equation, it should become easier over time. One thing that helped me is to rephrase the questions in my head as they're asked. It might sound silly, but I really did that during interviews. I had a mini conversation in my head while I paused before answering each question. "Okay, so they just asked X, which really means..." Certain questions are meant to get at different parts of your personality.

Rephrasing questions made each one less intimidating, once I figured out what the interviewers were really asking. Then I could smile, look around the room at each person, and confidently answer each question. It's not easy, and like TGal said, it does take practice. It DEFINITELY helps to have a mock interview with a family member, a friend, or a roommate.

Good luck BBO!

Thanks for sharing some of your experience! I do believe that as I have gotten older I have been able to speak with new people...even people in authority more comfortably. I imagine I need to prepare myself and treat it as a conversation...while still an interview.

I think I have a mental block that I am under evaluation and anything will count against me, while some will help of course.

Fortunately I have gone over some things with my fiance. I'm just waiting for the interviews to come in!

 

[Bleed Burnt Orange]

Thank you! I agree that I would speak to engineering managers and that could definitely help. I'm a Pet.E. by the way.

I tend to believe that I'm not part of the "typical" engineering group, but...I know I have the tendencies to be super literal. Hopefully with my general friendly attitude I can get past the interview.

Part of the hurdle is getting interviews...that's for sure!

Ahhh, that's right. I knew it was something similar to ChemE.

Have you had any interviews so far? I agree that just getting the interviews is the hard part. I think I'm a fairly good interviewer and I've been offered jobs for most things I've interviewed for, but when I was unemployed for 10 months last year I only had 2 interviews - one I didn't even want (in my old industry and 1.5hrs from home) and the other for my current job. It's not easy! Though the manufacturing world has opened up a lot in the past 6 months, so hopefully that applies to your industry as well.

I haven't gotten any interviews yet. I've applied to a few jobs, but...I haven't been as agressive as I should be. Fortunately I am employed. After my first job, I just quit that and it took 3 months to find another one. I only had 1 interview in that time and that's the one I took. I was only supposed to be here 1 year. 3 years later..I'm SOOOO frustrated with it! It's not engineering at all.

I think the Oil & Gas industry is relatively okay. A lot of people are asking for over 5 years though. I had a recruiter tell me that she couldn't help me because the companies she deals with only want 5 years at least!

 

[perry]

I feel like "selling myself" is phony! I understand how to speak about my strengths and weaknesses, I just don't understand going on and on and on and on about myself. I know about having questions for the interviewer...that makes perfect sense! I need to know about them as much as they need to know about me.

Regardless...I'm not full of myself or think I'm above the whole thing. I am smart and learn easily but I am not ABOVE the BS.

BBO: I have read the entire thread and come back to your statement above - with a question: Do you really know who and what you are and your strengths and weaknesses - and who you are interviewing for what.

It seems that you're like a fish out of water - and I can relate.

15 years (or so) ago I was making the exact same kind of statements and arguments as you have made in this thread. I also could not interview well and didn't understand the process. I am also an Engineer - and highly technical and logical (and I have been accused by some on this forum of never cracking joke - which just means they did not get the humor of the ones I did). I thought I was a good team player too... (and if you want to know the truth looking back - I wasn't). I've been where you are.

Personally, I think you do not really know who and what you are, what you are looking for, and what kinds of jobs (and companies) to apply to. The result is that you are baffled by the interview process for the interviews you do get - and you would be lucky to find a good match for you and the company.

I did eventually figure it all out - and the book I used was "What Color is Your Parachute." As of a couple years ago I still saw it was available. The book is full of lots of good information - but the biggest help was a section in back where you get to figure out what you are good at, what you like to do, where you like to do it, etc (I think they called it a petal diagram). In the center is the core "you" and it defines what types of jobs you should be looking for where.

Now in my case the last thing I wanted to admit was that I didn't know who I was and what I wanted to do. It was very hard for me - and took months (3-6 if I recall) for me to fully work through that section and come to terms with what my natural and technical abilities really were - and where they are best utilized. Once I did that I had a job within several months - and the interview process was magically much better (of course - I adopted a lot of other interview advice). A key item is that I have never looked for the kind of job that I used to look for prior to that - and have turned down opportunities to go in that direction knowing that they are really not my cup of tea.... (I don't perform my best).

Since I'd rather see you as a Radiant Vibrant Orange person instead of bleeding and burnt - I suggest that you do some real sole searching. I know how much it can change your life - I've been through it.

I wish you the best,

Perry

Edited to add: This does not mean that I do not have "issues" with work - we all do (a job is afterall a job). However, I really enjoy the work I do - and the general environment I work in. I can relate well to what the company wants. Because of how well I do my job my wages doubled in the last 10 years while doing the exact same job... (and I could earn more if I wanted to). Figuring who you really are, what your really good at, what environment you work best in - really makes a difference in your life.

 

[yssie]

BBO - have you heard of the STAR interviewing technique?

http://www.quintcareers.com/STAR_interviewing.html


I found it (and looking at the sample questions on that site, some of which will - take you aback, to say the least!) very helpful in my job search several months ago.

I definitely wouldn't advise writing out answers and memorizing them or anything like that, but having some idea of which topics/what events you would discuss when faced with those particular questions can help avoid the 'deer in the headlights' effect.

 

[zoebartlett]

It IS frustrating when you need experience but no one will give it to you, huh? I'm crossing my fingers for you, BBO!

 

[Bleed Burnt Orange]

I feel like "selling myself" is phony! I understand how to speak about my strengths and weaknesses, I just don't understand going on and on and on and on about myself. I know about having questions for the interviewer...that makes perfect sense! I need to know about them as much as they need to know about me.

Regardless...I'm not full of myself or think I'm above the whole thing. I am smart and learn easily but I am not ABOVE the BS.

BBO: I have read the entire thread and come back to your statement above - with a question: Do you really know who and what you are and your strengths and weaknesses - and who you are interviewing for what.

It seems that you're like a fish out of water - and I can relate.

15 years (or so) ago I was making the exact same kind of statements and arguments as you have made in this thread. I also could not interview well and didn't understand the process. I am also an Engineer - and highly technical and logical (and I have been accused by some on this forum of never cracking joke - which just means they did not get the humor of the ones I did). I thought I was a good team player too... (and if you want to know the truth looking back - I wasn't). I've been where you are.

Personally, I think you do not really know who and what you are, what you are looking for, and what kinds of jobs (and companies) to apply to. The result is that you are baffled by the interview process for the interviews you do get - and you would be lucky to find a good match for you and the company.

I did eventually figure it all out - and the book I used was "What Color is Your Parachute." As of a couple years ago I still saw it was available. The book is full of lots of good information - but the biggest help was a section in back where you get to figure out what you are good at, what you like to do, where you like to do it, etc (I think they called it a petal diagram). In the center is the core "you" and it defines what types of jobs you should be looking for where.

Now in my case the last thing I wanted to admit was that I didn't know who I was and what I wanted to do. It was very hard for me - and took months (3-6 if I recall) for me to fully work through that section and come to terms with what my natural and technical abilities really were - and where they are best utilized. Once I did that I had a job within several months - and the interview process was magically much better (of course - I adopted a lot of other interview advice). A key item is that I have never looked for the kind of job that I used to look for prior to that - and have turned down opportunities to go in that direction knowing that they are really not my cup of tea.... (I don't perform my best).

Since I'd rather see you as a Radiant Vibrant Orange person instead of bleeding and burnt - I suggest that you do some real sole searching. I know how much it can change your life - I've been through it.

I wish you the best,

Perry

Edited to add: This does not mean that I do not have "issues" with work - we all do (a job is afterall a job). However, I really enjoy the work I do - and the general environment I work in. I can relate well to what the company wants. Because of how well I do my job my wages doubled in the last 10 years while doing the exact same job... (and I could earn more if I wanted to). Figuring who you really are, what your really good at, what environment you work best in - really makes a difference in your life.

It is a dream to find a job that I truly love. I do need to realize what it is that I like first. I have only been out of school since 2006 and I know that of the two jobs I have had since then, I know what I don't like. I want to be able to try different parts of Pet. E. before making up my mind. I wish to find a position that allows me the opportunity. Does it exist...yes, but...can I get it? I don't know.

I know a few things about myself professionally, but I don't think I know everything about it.

Thank you for the advice and I have been thinking about it since I read it.

 

[Bleed Burnt Orange]

BBO - have you heard of the STAR interviewing technique?

http://www.quintcareers.com/STAR_interviewing.html


I found it (and looking at the sample questions on that site, some of which will - take you aback, to say the least!) very helpful in my job search several months ago.

I definitely wouldn't advise writing out answers and memorizing them or anything like that, but having some idea of which topics/what events you would discuss when faced with those particular questions can help avoid the 'deer in the headlights' effect.

Thank you for this information. The more preparation I can do to relax a little during an interview...the better!

 

[Bleed Burnt Orange]

It IS frustrating when you need experience but no one will give it to you, huh? I'm crossing my fingers for you, BBO!

Thank you, Zoe! I appreciate it! I have hopes for a positive outcome.

 

[Sha]

I sympathize with you on the 'talking' thing. I feel like the world is made for talkers and extrovert types. It's so unfair... I'm not a talker, either - more or a listener and writer. I do love people a lot in general - but talking too much strains my vocal chords and depletes my emotional and physical energy very quickly. But thinking - I love thinking and simply reflecting on things. I love being alone. I hate being in the spotlight. What's wrong with that that? It's just who I am... I feel that people look at that negatively, whereas they admire people who are the 'life of the party', so to speak. It feels like those who are 'out there' get ahead quicker than those of us who are more 'inward'... for obvious reasons, I guess. But it still seems unfair...

I hate interviews too. A necessary evil.

 

[Bleed Burnt Orange]

I sympathize with you on the 'talking' thing. I feel like the world is made for talkers and extrovert types. It's so unfair... I'm not a talker, either - more or a listener and writer. I do love people a lot in general - but talking too much strains my vocal chords and depletes my emotional and physical energy very quickly. But thinking - I love thinking and simply reflecting on things. I love being alone. I hate being in the spotlight. What's wrong with that that? It's just who I am... I feel that people look at that negatively, whereas they admire people who are the 'life of the party', so to speak. It feels like those who are 'out there' get ahead quicker than those of us who are more 'inward'... for obvious reasons, I guess. But it still seems unfair...

I hate interviews too. A necessary evil.

For sure!! It's sad...but true! Thanks for sharing my thoughts on this!

 

[waterlilly]

My take:

It is obvious you are smart and qualified for the position - that's how you got your foot in the door for the interview. As a manager and interviewer for our company, I can tell you - personality is HUGE. People don't just get called in for interviews to prove how smart they are - that is what a resume is for. Unless you have some highly specialized skill that very few people have, your personality is a very important factor. I want to know that you are "normal" and not going to be a PITA to manage or cause issues with other employees because you have no social skills, I can't gauge that any other way than having a conversation with you.

The questions/answers, etc. really shouldn't be baffling or to embarrass you. If you really do want to work for the company, and really "know" your field, those things should come somewhat naturally. You should naturally have questions about the company/position and be able to answer any questions - there is NOTHING wrong with saying, "sorry, I don't understand the question" or "hmmmm, I'm not sure" and then just talk it out like you would if a friend were asking you the question. Interviewers are people too - they don't expect a robot to be sitting across from them, you know?

The way I look at it, at the least - if you can't be warm and friendly and smile when you greet me, what are you doing here? Am I inconveniencing you in some way by giving you an interview?

We've been doing a lot of interviews recently, can you tell?