Who Who is... Regular Guy?

[sna77]

Always wondered this... In addition to putting together all sorts of helpful guides / threads, he was the one who found my FI''s stone when I was a lost n00bie looking for guidance...

 

[Regular Guy]

Steve,

I had a big smile when I saw it was you asking. I remember your early posts, and just went back to look at them again. And, was glad to see you coming on here later with more queries.

My wife was on here late last night working on a recipe book, and now I''m off to do some light computer repair, but hope to be back on soon to share more about me. Nice to have been asked.

Meanwhile, warm regards,

 

[Lorelei]

Ira, I too would love to know more about you! Please fill us in when you can!

 

[sna77]

Date: 4/1/2008 6:46:07 AM
Author: Regular Guy
Steve,

I had a big smile when I saw it was you asking. I remember your early posts, and just went back to look at them again. And, was glad to see you coming on here later with more queries.

My wife was on here late last night working on a recipe book, and now I''m off to do some light computer repair, but hope to be back on soon to share more about me. Nice to have been asked.

Meanwhile, warm regards,

Hi Ira... Yesterday was actually the first time I ever even opened this section of the forum... And I was actually suprised when i didn''t see your name, since you are such a a valuable contributer to the community here…

It kind of dawned on me that since PS doesn’t allow private messages (a good thing probably for this type of community to enforce the no sales thing), that you tend to know less about the people you communicate with every day… ( I guess that’s why this thread was created)…

Anyhow, eagrly awaiting your reply.

 

[Skippy123]

YAY Ira has a thread!!! I am forever grateful for you helping me, Ira and same with JulieN

I think you have a kiddo, no? I thought I saw a pic of you and your son floating around PS somewhere. What do you like to do for fun? What is your favorite book? Does anyone inspire you? Glad you have a Who''s Who

 

[Regular Guy]

Things I like:

April Fool’s Day
People who are modest and who tell the truth
Attractive women and fast cars
I like it when I do more and talk less
I like it when things fall into place, and even more when they do because I helped to make that happen

Peeves – when people assume responsibility for those things for which they do not have appropriate authority

And me….

You asked for it. If you’re so motivated…get a cup of coffee. I’ve provided some detail below. Again…thanks for asking.

Three baskets come to mind

I tend to think of things in threes. I’m not sure if that came into the training I got along the way constructing three fold arguments…but I do. I like to think it’s a kind of Piagetian developmental idea. You can make the tripart construct because it coincides with an easy way to understand how thinking works for everyone. Or not. Anyway….

A

I have a pretty strong religious identity…but is this in the conventional sense?

I grew up in a Jewish household, and probably had the good fortune of living near an Orthodox shul, because that’s where we went when I was growing up. We were not Orthodox, far from it…but that’s what they did, I’m told, in those days…you went to your neighborhood shul. It was easy. On the plus side, among this approach to Judaism, there are not identity issues per se…there were not these time consuming process issues. Not that there’s anything inherently necessarily wrong with them. After all, I’m personally probably reconstructionist now…and that’s way too much process. But it’s descriptive.

But along the way…I’m 52 now…grew up with a 60’s influence, I was introduced to Buddhism, and took to that like a duck takes to water. Trungpa was an influential person, and to this day, I’m a card carrying member of the Shambhala Center. Properly…there’s not much to it. That…made even more…by the fundamental idea that what you think doesn’t matter too much from the point of view of either Judaism or Buddhism…it’s what you do…and I do not have a very diligent practice. But…I like doing meditation practice…it’s no less a value proposition for me. Also…after a several year’s absence…I’ve gotten back into a once a month gathering of practitioner colleagues…so at least there’s that.

B

Then, there’s my personal/professional self. Again…that 60’s ethic…had perhaps good and bad influences…and it’s hard to separate them from who I was or am. But…I very much had a need to experience, always, the “why” of why I was doing something. How counterculture is that? (Is it? What is it?) I grew up in Chicago, and got into the University of Chicago…and also did well there…but worked very hard. Also…I had my first relationship there. Mary, are you reading? I also took a course in Altered States of Consciousness with Dan Brown, sat in with Mircea Eliade in one of his Religious Study courses, got to spend some good time at the seminary bookstore, and go to their café, and was an auditor for dream work done there. My interest in psychology was strong.

I did not know why I was there, however…and working towards what. And, I had something of a cloistered upbringing…maybe. Anyway…I really needed to cut loose, worked for a short while at the Post office to make some money, and hitchhiked out to California…where I visited friends for a while…lived semi on the streets for a bit…even had a brief relationship with the Unification Church (they did/do have a utopian vision, after all). Then, I made my way to Sonoma County, intent to continue that psychology interest. I spent three years part time mostly at Sonoma State College, growing up some, becoming introduced there to the approach to Buddhism and practice that have become important to me…umm…sorry…this is taking a while…let’s hurry this up…

Came back to Chicago…saw time was a waistin…U of Chicago wouldn’t (smart them) give me much credit for what I’d done…so finished my Bachelors at DePaul in their School for New Learning…recognizing past work, associated with a more adult approach to earning a degree, including what Shambhala identifies as its 10 week seminary…and I completed that program, having targeted publishing as my career direction, and sales within that…since presidents came from there…so why not…(and in sales vs. copyediting you could make some money)…so completed my BA, also going to a summer’s Publishing Institute in Denver.

After a few interviews, what was then Wadsworth…soon to be ITP or Thomson Learning brought me on…representing 12 happy years in the field of textbook publishing (plus one more unhappy middle year at John Wiley, and a non-ideal exit at McGraw-Hill) where I called on college professors…asking them about how they wanted to have their kids taught about their subject…and wouldn’t they like to consider our book?

But sales involved paperwork…a second child made this more challenging…I sought a desk job, and was able to continue college sales a few years at a desk, for a national market, with Aspen Publishing. Which folded, bringing me to my current employer, BNA, where I do more customer support vs. sales…but with training…and this is a nice wrinkle.

I am not a company president. It is a medium level job…my skills in dealing with colleagues must not be perfected (as readers of my posts here will attest to), but I do value my one to one contacts providing support to CPAs and attorneys who can’t figure out how to navigate our products. Particularly, as a family man wanting time at home with our boys…this job seems…OK…and has many pluses.

C

Then…there’s a more clearly personal sphere. While working for Wadsworth/Thomson…and also…while trying to get some interning experience, seeking to go to graduate school in Psychology, I met my wife. Now there was a good turn. Betty had been willing, during our relationship then in New Haven…

(for those tracking…I started in Chicago…then to Northern California, back to Chicago, then to start my career in Publishing at about age 25, to central Pennsylvania, to New Haven for an attempt at advancement, to Halifax to follow my Buddhist teacher and with a job offer with Wiley, and then, failing that…back to DC where my wife’s parents hail from…where I’ve been since 1990)…

to take a vacation to mid-Atlantic Canada with me. Later, when I did feel compelled to move to Atlantic Canada, and I received a job offer from Wiley…I went. I suppose I knew I was putting at risk the relationship I had with her. I did make arrangements to send her flowers weekly, however…a point she was sweet to recount to a work colleague recently. We also met near monthly. Within several months…over dinner…I proposed. Her answer was she would think about it. When I got home, after having talked to her grandmother, she said yes.

Betty did come up with me to Atlantic Canada. But…my job did not work out. Fortunately, my previous employer, Wadsworth, would take me back, and would make a place for me in DC, where my wife’s family was from…and this was made to work. We’ve been in DC since 1990. Betty is a smart cookie. She applied for a government position before we left Canada, as I recall…but in any case…soon was working here…and has continued in the same larger agency since. For better or worse, of the two of us, it’s evolved she is the more significant bread winner. Other threads will show our process of home buying. 20 months ago, we did move across town to Bethesda for an improved middle school for our children. Again, unfortunately, this decision was made with her needed commitment, since the higher income level she contributes makes this more expensive home possible.

Children. It took us about 7 years. We had begun to explore adoption possibilities. Then…probably a vacation helped. I still think the literature on ovulation needs work, as to when is the right time to try. We think it is really when she feels like it. We now have 2 boys, Evan & Adam, aged 12 & 9. As it was looking like we might succeed and become parents, we discussed religion. (Betty was not raised in any strong religious context…we had a Buddhist wedding in Halifax, but she was neither Jewish, nor a Buddhist practitioner). She visited that one summer the Shambhala Center several times…but it did not take. We discussed options. We went synagogue shopping. We affiliated with first a Reconstructionist group, but when the distance seemed burdensome…we found after some searching an acceptable and warm (then) reform congregation, called Temple Shalom. Over the last decade, we both have become attached to this Temple, and my older son is now soon approaching becoming a Bar Mitzvah.

But…radical energies lurk. This friendly temple has just fired two of the 3 clergy we have come to love. We are both involved in seeking a new Jewish religious home, with me perhaps spearheading this effort, but she’s very involved as well. A breakaway Havurah makes things exciting…but frankly…we’re pulled to the place that will offer the more accommodating Hebrew school schedule. Though in the months to come…we’ll see…however…for now…we are busy planning for Evan’s Bar Mitzvah, with a traditional setting, on Labor Day weekend, at our Temple with lunch on Saturday, and at Smokey Glen Farm with an afternoon in an open field, with a Barn for cover, with a focus on the kids, but with some adults meandering as well.

Is there more to tell? That’s kind of soup to nuts.

Skippy, I saw you had questions. I’ll come back. But…this is great big start.

Belle has called me something like Mr. Exposition. I did not want to disappoint.

Warm wishes to all, meanwhile, and again…thanks for asking.

Oops…sorry…I’ll come back later and tell you how I met Pricescope. It was in seeking my wife’s….4th diamond.

 

[strmrdr]

Thanks for sharing RB.. Wow you have had an interesting life!

 

[Kaleigh]

It''s nice to know more about you Ira. I always enjoy your posts!!! Of course there have been some that were above my head, but Storm has always been helpful in explaining them to me. I look forward to reading more about you.

Lisa

 

[Regular Guy]

Here''s the crew...

 

[sna77]

Ira,
I hope I didn''t make you late for work having to write all that.

Seriously, though, sounds like you''ve had a pretty cool life so far. I''m definitely interestd in how you came to Pricescope, and where your interest in diamonds came from.

 

[Regular Guy]

Steve, Lorelei, Skippy, Storm, Lisa,

Thanks for your interest, again.

A book? boring…I’m a poor reader, as it’s developed. I’ll read the Washington Post at lunch. Lately (the last 7 years or so), I’ve returned to trying to figure out a book by Rosenberg…"Jewish Liturgy as Spiritual Practice." Hard to get clergy interested. Oh well.

Back to diamonds. Steve, with respect to your comment, I’ll take it from the top.

After meeting my wife, not being ready to be committed, but not wanting to lose her…I sought something symbolic, still. I went shopping for a diamond ring, and sought to get a promise ring for her. Was this kid stuff…I was in my early 30s? Being alive, you osmote knowledge of the 4 Cs…but here I went in to do some looking. I learned that some jewelers were more trustworthy than others in this phase. I bought something like a 1/3 carat. I had never had what I would call a girl friend, so I regarded this as a big move for me. She accepted…but I told her to put it on the RIGHT hand. Later, as I got more serious, my friend down the hall, Lisa, told me if I would get engaged, I should get a carat. A carat! That was huge. OK.

Somewhere in there, in shopping, I learned from seeing some spectacular diamonds that some could be particularly good. A jeweler in Northampton Mass specialized in Lazare diamonds, and they were special. From here, I learned to ask for ideal cut diamonds. I learned to ask for Lazare, even. But I hadn’t learned more about the factors that made the Lazare diamonds special.

Diamond number 2 was from Savitt, 1 + carat G VS1. It came with a 30 day return policy. How do other guys do it (being ready to propose, get the ring, and be ready to propose just like that? Time the buying with the readiness. I wasn’t ready. I returned it in the 30 day return window they offered. On to diamond #3. This was bought during a visit from Canada, having already left the US, with a complication of events…first going back to Savitt, then to American Diamond Exchange, back to Savitt with a purchased diamond, who said it wasn’t what they said it was, back to American Diamond Exchange to return it, and back to Savitt to purchase like a 1.06 carat diamond, G VS2 with I later learned was a thick girdle. It was not ideal cut, it was not with a cert (and back in 1989…who knew to ask for this…I understand this was probably not a time when this was common for anyone). This was diamond #3. This one…I tried to give to Betty, I believe, later that weekend…but in her demeanor…I could tell she was not ready to be asked. I took it back with me to Halifax…having to wait for a more appropriate time, and realizing the diamond would be mine to keep at that point…with my 30 days going to expire. Later…I offered this when I’d hoped she’d say yes. Later…she did. Come forward 13 years…and with like zero checking in the interim to see that prongs were tight, etc…and with my insurance having lapsed after maybe the first 2 years…and the diamond went missing, with this realized while my wife was on travel in Texas.

At the time of the need for diamond #4…I tried a few things for a few days, after consulting and agreeing with my wife that we seek a replacement. I learned Lazare could be gotten at Bailey’s, but at double what I could consider paying. I learned that Charles Schwartz and Sons could help me, but they’d need to bring in options, and this approach would stretch the budget. Then, taking to Google, entering something close to: ideal cut diamond Washington DC…I found Pricescope. (By the way…re-doing this search today…I find 3 things: Pricescope doesn’t come up until page 3. As usual, Nice Ice comes right up on page 1. Today, HCA comes up, on its own, in page 1!)

On Pricescope…I learned quickly about the list of internet vendors, with their addresses, and those that were local to me (James Allen), and I triangulated on an appraiser source (listed both on James Allen’s site and Pricescope). In a few days, tracking then only James Allen’s site, I believe, I found an option…(.9 G VS2) and asked him to call it in. I did this with a blind e-mail to a vendor I’d had no other communication with, and was semi-surprised to get an e-mail back, saying: sure, we’ll get that in for you. I think on its way in, or close to it, I discovered the HCA, and asked him to confirm it would score a 0 – 2, so we didn’t both waste our time. He confirmed, I came up with Betty. We did a brief comparison…we bought. Later…we were even happy (Jim’s office environment wasn’t ideal for showing off this option). I’ll try to link a description here.

In the next few months…I asked questions on this board about databases…which has since gone into the FAQs section, and in my first 60+ posts…I actually thought I would be coming to closure, and signing off. But…that did not happen. People and discussion was interesting, and I stuck around. In the meanwhile, I variously have raised questions (many) about the HCA, to Garry’s consternation, and I’ve generally taken a long time to say many things (witness my 2 posts here so far!).

As you noted, Steve, over the course…and especially in my first year or more…I did take some particular delight in setting up models and suggestions, for how people could optimize their use of this site to get more efficiently to what they were likely to be looking for. Though I’d made two such posts, each of which had become outdated over time, even those recently got deleted in a site reorg, such that my signature today no longer points to anything. (Another concerning data mining, I’ll link here.) I should consider reposting the substance of those in the Testimonials section, I suppose, because my efforts were based on my experience of the good value of this site, that I can certainly testify to.

Interestingly…even today…as I describe my experience of buying diamond number 4, questions linger for me about quantifying the value of super ideal vs. ideal. Despite my genuine ambivalence about spending time on this site…vs. any of many other useful things I could be doing…there is something about Pricescope and the effort to optimize for ones beloved that is…potentially, deeply engaging. I guess that’s what it’s all about.

 

[sna77]

Ira,
You crack me up (in a good way).

The part about buying the ring, but not know if “you” were ready is fantastic. I suppose that is a standard thought process that plagues all men… Eventually, you just “do it” don’t think about it, and realize it wasn’t as hard as you may have thought.

Your post links brought me back to a bunch of threads I’d looked at a while ago. The Ideal vs. Super Ideal one particularly (We all know where I think the sweet spot is for value)…
Anyhow, I guess this is as good a place as any for thanking you for helping me, personally, in my previous search for a stone, as well as the countless other members of the forum…

-Steve

 

[sna77]

Also forgot to mention how right you are... about hanging around after your own ring is bought... there is something about this forum and learning about diamonds that keeps me hanging around...

 

[Skippy123]

The picture of you and your family is great; thanks for sharing! You have a very intersting life

 

[Regular Guy]

Skippy, Steve,

Many thanks for following up.

Also, Andrey, thanks to you for bringing back the links in my signature, for whatever their value may be.

And, while I''m here, I''ll try to post another picture of my crew...

Regards to all...

 

[Regular Guy]

Well...right around the time I''m about to fall off this page, I suppose I have an event to share, and am popping back in.

The fellow in the post immediately above making the letter "L" hand signal is going to be celebrating his Bar Mitzvah in just over 2 weeks. He''s worked very hard, and we''re very excited. A bit sad our small number of family members from out of town couldn''t make it (the net result makes this, instead of a planned womb to tomb family weekend, seem just a bit more like a really big lazer tag party plus a service), but we anticipate all will be swell.

Also, I''m planning to teach religious school for the first time ever in the fall...4th graders...at a Humanistic Jewish congregation (locally known as Machar).

Just some recent stuff to share!

Warm regards,

 

[Lorelei]

Congrats to your son on his bar mitzvah, and many congrats to you on your teaching appointment!

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 8/14/2008 4:29:20 AM
Author: Lorelei
Congrats to your son on his bar mitzvah, and many congrats to you on your teaching appointment!

Ditto!!! Many congrats! Your family is beautiful; thanks for sharing your pictures

 

[Modified Brilliant]

Thanks, Regular Guy for staying on top of appraisal topics and giving great advice all around.

It''s always interesting to learn more about those we have come to know on PS.

You''ll be pleased to know that we have something in common...My middle name is "Ira."

www.metrojewelryappraisers.com

 

[AGBF]

Gosh, it was great to see this thread, Ira! Hearty congratulations to your son on his studies! I know that they are not easy! I have read the thread and concur that your life is interesting. (I already knew that you were!) I will have to reread the thread to digest it fully. Your searching between Judaism and Buddhism interests me and, also, reminds me of some of my friends. (One old friend who grew up in the Unitarian-Universalist Church with me later became a Buddhist monk living at Mt. Shasta Abby in California for 25 years. He recently left the monastery and, after years of life as a celibate monk, has married! He still practices and teaches Buddhism, however.)

This may seem to come from out of left field, but have you read, The Chosen by Chaim Potok? I read it quite recently, which is probably why it springs so quickly to my mind. When I think of bright young men struggling with issues of faith-especially if any involve Judaism-this book comes to mind. I loved it.

At any rate, your thread is wonderful.


Deborah

 

[Regular Guy]

Looks like this "Who''s Who" area has been getting busy lately...with the growing readership on Pricescope, and with this area now spanning to 4 pages.

Thanks to everyone who continues to touch in, and to those newer here, including Jeff "Ira" Averbrook, and to Deborah...and I will have to identify and read the Chosen.

Maybe some special things are happening. Today is Yom Kippur, when Jews traditionally don''t write, and I could also post to my blog...a recent thing I put together the better part of this past year (http://zukermaninprocess.blogspot.com) but since no one reads that, I find myself motivated to note a special thing here that began a few weeks ago...

I think I noted above (did I?), that my son was to become a Bar Mitzvah. Well he did. Anyway...within days of that, we LEFT that congregation we were part of for 10 years. Why? They fired the rabbi and cantor we loved for reasons that were primarily to appease the senior rabbi in place. The fired clergy were adopted by a renegade group of members, they''ve formed a new congregation, and we''re in the middle of our first set of High Holiday services.

So...some weeks ago...we met to decide what kind of community we were. Transdenominational was a core idea...but considered a little fru-fru. Our new Rabbi (Gerry Serotta) has a wide ranging reputation for social action. What we were doing was both beyond movements in Judaism...and yet...fundamental to it. I suggested then that what we could be called were "Just Jews."

Yesterday, it was announced that that''s what we''d be.

As a person who more primarily identifies as a buddhist (do I need to change this view?)...I find these recent developments to be exciting.

I''m sorry...guys...this is a diamond board, and I don''t think anyone is terribly interested in this stuff. But you were the first people I thought to write, and I wanted to share some special developments...before we''re off to services again.

With warm wishes to all,

 

[Regular Guy]

Is three years time for an update?

I'm including a picture (or intending to include it) fron a spring visit I and my family took to the Grand Canyon.



Also, I'm including a link to a recent thread where there's been active discussion concerning the Kimberley Process, and where I've become increasingly engaged and interested...here:

https://www.pricescope.com/communit...y-process-and-the-chinese-new-article.163657/

Otherwise, our now younger son is preparing, however reluctantly, for his Bar Mitzvah, showing his turning 13 years of age this coming January 2012, and our older son has just tured 16, where he's a junior, and where his coming of real age is coming all the more real, not to mention the promise of college expenses.

Ira Z.